Saturday, December 31, 2022


 I originally had an angst-driven post but I deleted it. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing, I was in a lot of stress so I made that post for catharsis. But thanks are Ok now and my last post for 2022 should not be a downer. Anyway, 2022 is ending in a few hours and with a new year always comes hope for a better year ahead. I really hope so, at least for that main concern I have right now. 

The last day of the year is always the time for introspection. You look back and assess how your life has been. How you are right now. And I do think it is healthy. I do like reading people's year-end posts on social media. It helps you process your emotions as well, well at least on my side. 

Happy New Year!

Friday, December 30, 2022

My 10 Favorite TV Comedy Episodes of 2022

   Here is my annual rundown of my favorite episodes of the sitcoms/comedy programs I watched this year. Like in previous years for various purposes I just chose one episode per show. Check out my top 10 lists over the years: 2021 2020,2019, 2018, 20172016201520142013,2012

1. What We Do in the Shadows Season 4 Episode 5 "Private School"

2. Only Murders in the Building Season 2 Episode 10 "I Know Who Did It"

3. Abbott Elementary Season 1 Episode 12 "Ava vs Superintendent"

4.  Dead to Me Season 3 Episode 10 "We've Reached The End"

5.  The Marvelous Mrs Maisel Season 4 Episode 1 "Rumble on the Wonder Wheel"

6.  The Wonder Years (2021) Season 1 Episode 15 "Black Teacher"

7. Never Have I Ever Season 3 Episode 7 "....cheated"

8. Bob's Burgers Season 13 Episode 2 "The Reeky Lake Show"

9. Reboot Season 1 Episode 1 "Step Right Up"

10. How I Met Your Father Season 1 Episode 10 "Timing is Everything

Thursday, December 29, 2022

My Hot 100 for 2022

 My favorite songs for 2022

1. Pano - Zack Tabudlo
2.  Rosas - Nica Del Rosario and Gab Pangilinan
3. As It Was - Harry Styles
4. I Ain't Worried - One Republic
5. Titi Me Pregunto - Bad Bunny 
6. Mahika - Adie & Janine Berdin
7. Paninindigan Kita  - Ben & Ben
8. You Belong to Me - Jason Wade
9. Bad Habit - Steve Lacy
10. We Don't Talk About Bruno - Encanto Cast

11. Asan Ka Na Ba? - Zack Tabudlo
12. Bazinga - SB19
13. Babalik Sa'yo - Moira Dela Torre
14. Bam Bam - Camilla Cabello and Ed Sheeran
15. About Damn Time - Lizzo
16. Dos Oruguitas - Sebastian Yatra
17. First Class - Jack Harlow
18. Give Me Your Forever - Zack Tabudlo
19. Left and Right - Charlie Puth feat Jungkok of BTS
20. Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush 

21. Late Night Talking - Harry Styles
22. Gusto Ko Nang Bumitaw - Morisette 
23. Enemy - Imagine Dragons
24. Overpass Graffiti - Ed Sheeran
25. Habang Buhay - Zack Tabudlo
26. One Right Now - Post Malone & The Weeknd
27. Pagsamo - Arthur Nery
28.  I Like You - Post Malone & Doja Cat
29.  Bones - Imagine Dragons
30. Anti-Hero - Taylor Swift 

31. Nobody Like U - 4*TOWN
32. Glimpse of Us - Joji
33. abcdefu - GAYLE
34. Emo girl - Machine Gun Kelly feat Willow
35. 2011 - 5 Seconds of Summer
36. Unholy - Sam Smith & Kim Petras
37.  Light Switch - Charlie Puth
38. Complete Mess - 5 Seconds of Summer
39.  Paliwanag - Yeng Constantino and Gloc 9
40. I Drink Wine - Adele

41. High - The Chainsmokers
42. Closer - Saweetie feat H.E.R
43. Viva Las Vengeance - Panic! At the Disco
44. Kumpas - Moira Dela Torre
45. Mag-ingat - Ben & Ben  
46. Tahanan - Adie
47. Unang Sayaw - Nobita
48. The Forever Now - Mandy Moore
49.  Wait a Minute - Willow
50. Sunshine - One Republic

51.  Oh My God - Adele
52. Let Somebody Go - Coldplay and Selena Gomez
53. UP - Inna and Sean Paul
54. ay! - Machine Gun Kelly feat Lil Wayne 
55.  To Be Loved - Adele 
56. You Were Loved - Gryffin and One Republic
57. Paraluman - Adie
58. Super Freaky Girl - Nicki Minaj
59. Comu Tu No Hay Dos - Jessica Diaz 
60. Break My Soul - Beyonce

61.  9 Lives - Machine Gun Kelly
62. Wonderful Life - Two Door Cinema Club
63. Langyang Pag-ibig - Ben & Ben
64. Surface Pressure - Jessica Darrow
65. Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez
66. Isa Lang - Arthur Nery
67. Pink Venom - BLACKPINK
68. Love's Train - Silk Sonic
69. Someday - One Republic
70. Dito Ka Lang - Moira Dela Torre

71. Tayo ang Ligaya ng Isa't Isa - ABS CBN All Stars
72. Made You Look - Meghan Trainor
73. This is Why - Paramore 
74. The Ones We Once Loved  - Ben & Ben
75. maybe - Machine Gun Kelly feat Bring Me The Horizon
76.  Happy Days - Backstreet Boys 
77. Edging - Blink 182
78. Sweetest Pie - Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa 
79. Big Energy - Latto 
80. Ikaw Lang - Nobita

81.  Para Que Tu Me Amaras - Ariadne Diaz 
82. Tumitigil ang Mundo - BGYO 
83.  Sacrifice - The Weeknd
84. ZOOM - Jessi
85.  10:36 - beabadoobee 
86. Huwag Muna Tayong Umuwi - Bini
87.  Vegas - Doja Cat 
88. Every Summertime - Niki
89. Dead to Me - Chloe Adams
90.  Sunroof - Nicky Youre and dazy 

91.  Don't Let The Light Go Out - Panic! at the Disco 
92.  Yakap - Zack Tabudlo
93.  Stay With Me - Calvin Harris, Justin Timberlake, Halsey, Pharrel 
94. I'm Good (Blue) - David Guetta and Bebe Rexha
95. Me Porto Bonito - Bad Bunny, Checho Corleone
96.  Strings - BINI 
97. Numb Little Bug - Em Beihold 
98. Hrs and Hrs - Muni Long
99.  I Love You So - The Walters
100. Muli - Ace Banzuelo

Wednesday, December 28, 2022


 A co-worker had a major health issue that she decided to resign. Today was last her day and she left a message on our department GC where I received nice words "fantastic motivator and guiding light". It's a great feeling to somehow leave a mark on someone. I really hope she gets well soon and once she recovers she will come back stronger than ever. I will miss her bubbly personality, I always enjoyed talking to her.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

My Five Favorite Movies of 2022

5. Luckiest Girl Alive

4.  Inconvenient Love

3. Turning Red

2. Leonor Will Never Die

1. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Favorites from the past years:

Monday, December 26, 2022


 Holiday today because well they think people should have an extra day to recover from Christmas! I understand the logic but I dunno there are many people who have filed for leaves already and those who are in the service industry will work anyway. But I digress. I wanted to go to the office today to finish some things. I did try to do it but there are many obstacles, and errands and the weather lured me to take a nap. I know getting rest is good as well but I want to be productive again tomorrow. I always LOVE working in the days between Christmas and New Year, it's relaxing to me in a way!

Sunday, December 25, 2022


 The morning was spent being lazy and the afternoon attending mass. Nothing extraordinary but very glad for today. Thank you, Lord that despite the challenges this year and we went through a lot, here we are still complete. That's all I really ask for. 

Saturday, December 24, 2022


One of my favorite 'newer' Christmas songs from the movie The Polar Express. As I grow older, the lyrics resonate even more. 

"We were dreamers

Not so long ago

But one by one

We all had to grow up

When it seems the magic slipped away

We find it all again on Christmas Day"

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays!

Friday, December 23, 2022


 Watched Inconvenient Love and I liked it. At first, it was quite didactic with its Gen Z slang but later on it got natural. It was also low-key edgy with some of the themes it touched on. They didn't fully explore it but I appreciate the attempt to make it more than just kilig. 

Thursday, December 22, 2022


Alice in Borderland Season 2 now streaming! I translated the final episode and it was one of the toughest translations I ever did with one character having long series of monologues! I had to redo it after the dubber had trouble synching it the first time so I was quite ashamed when I learned that so I really gave my all to that very tough sequence and luckily when the dubber returned to redub that part, it was smooth sailing! Anyway, the second season is good and I hope a lot of people will stream the Filipino-dubbed version (and enjoy it!)

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

On a High

 I do feel a little wary about what I'm feeling right now. I'm happy but I can't help but feel that this won't last and that this has a price. So trying to contain myself really. But on the other hand, I need to let loose as well. I deserve it with the way I tortured myself with endless negative thoughts. But anyway despite this quirk I have, I am really deeply grateful my worst fear didn't happen and I will savor this feeling and perhaps pass upon it too.

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

Thank YOU!

 A sigh of relief that nothing bad/alarming happened. Lord thank you very much for hearing my prayer. I hope that it will stay that way. But of course, I always need to be prepared for anything but for now I'm really happy that my worst fear didn't happen. Thank you so much

Monday, December 19, 2022


 One of these days again where I want to stay hopeful while also trying to protect myself if things turned out not what I hoped to be. I make things hard for me. But I need to be strong regardless but I'm so afraid deep inside. Dear Lord please hear my prayer.

Sunday, December 18, 2022


 Nephew has a new monitor for Christmas so he gave me his old one so I can have an external monitor. It takes awhile before it opens but other than that it still works pretty well!'

Saturday, December 17, 2022


 I just finished working on a telenovela English dubbing script! It was a longer episode than usual because it has key plot development where the protagonist sets her revenge plan in motion. It's so lengthy but to be honest it's fun to write these overdramatic lines. The director of this dubbing project is great too and one of the few who ever commended me for my work. Not that I fish for compliments or anything, as long as I don't get bad feedback I'm fine. But having someone praise you for your hard work is a morale booster!

Friday, December 16, 2022


 After buying last month's 100th-anniversary edition, I decided to buy the December issue of the new Liwayway magazine. And since it's now easy to buy this online, I plan to buy monthly from now on. It's my way to support one of the last surviving print publications right now plus it's a really good read to read Filipino prose, comics, and essays so it's good food for the brain as well. Everything is so digital right now but there's still value for print publications.


Thursday, December 15, 2022

10 Days

 Christmas is near I'm getting a little stressed. I'm anxious yet again, thinking about life's worries. Personal and national. Also, this area of interest where I'm not directly affected yet I can't help but feel sad. So I'm stepping back from it because there's a lot to deal with life right now and getting stressed about unnecessary things shouldn't have space in my mindset right now. Oh well, I hope I won't be stressed all the time.

Wednesday, December 14, 2022


 Netflix canceled Warrior Nun which is too bad because well first it is one of our dubbing projects so a third season would have benefited us! But aside from that, I did really like the show as we were working on it, especially the second season where the storyline about a fake prophet was so good and so apt in today's world. Oh well, it sucks! 

Tuesday, December 13, 2022


 It's been 3 years since we had a regular Christmas party! Who knew how things will change drastically in the coming months. So, I was really glad that yesterday we were able to have it again.  The past 2 years were very challenging and I'm really grateful that we managed to survive and rise from all of the setbacks.  I'm not the party type, never was,  but I was definitely happy to see my officemates very happy last night.  When our big boss sir AMF made his speech, I got a little emotional because you could feel how happy he is. Of course, I am happy too (nabunot na ulit sa raffle after many years!)  but it feels extra great to be surrounded by people who are very happy, especially after what we've been through the past 2 years. Merry Christmas and cheers to a great year ahead to my 20 Plus Studios family. 🙂

Monday, December 12, 2022


 As much as I don't want to lose my cool each time it happens, I can't help myself. It's so frustrating and yet I feel so bad. For all involved. Everything is just fragile. It could break anytime. There are scratches, one wrong mistake it's all over. Carrying it is hard. But I have to. I need to.

Sunday, December 11, 2022


 I'm feeling sad again about this particular interest of mine. It's not personally related but it's something I've grown up with and in a way influenced what I wanted to do in life. I guess it's also my "sport" like I'm on their against in their rivalry with their main competition in the industry. My rooting interest for them is like how sports fans are. They have been through a lot in the past years and just when I think they are beginning to rise from their darkest moments, setbacks and farewells are coming again. I know why these are happening but I still can't help but feel sad that the road to what they once were is not cleared. Maybe they are pivoting to another field indeed as a way to survive but still what they were before. And still, I hope someday I can see what they were before. 

Saturday, December 10, 2022

Watch Time

 So I decided to finally try out Disney+! I just signed up for a month because I'm thrifty! But looking at the lineup under the Star hub which includes TV shows that I like or am interested to watch and looks like this is gonna be a good month for me. Of course, granted I will have enough time to watch but I will make time for it in between doing work staff, and family duties. This is I guess gift to myself, I need to go back to watching for personal entertainment again which I neglected since I've been so preoccupied with work lately especially doing dubbing scripts which I really enjoyed! But you see watching these shows did help me enjoy writing dubbing scripts and also helped me widen my vocabulary which helped me in adapting scripts for dubbing! Anyway, back to streaming for me!

Friday, December 09, 2022


 Today I learned ELECTION movie will have a sequel! I discovered this movie by browsing Video City looking for movies to rent and the back cover synopsis of it got my interest! And it was so good and really looking forward to this sequel! I did miss the days of just browsing titles to rent! But oh well, I guess the current streaming era has the same era as well, I guess?

Thursday, December 08, 2022


Company Christmas/Year-End Party on Monday! And looks like it's gonna be a "normal" one! They were already asking for production numbers! I was not asked to thank goodness and I would have declined anyway. I already did that thing in my first two years and swallowed any shyness I had back then! But I'm a bald, fat 35-year-old man already so yeah don't have the enthusiasm for it anymore! And also games! Hopefully. there will be none or if there is, don't pick me too! Yeah, I am that person during parties! It's an introvert nightmare! But seriously, I do want my officemates who are into this to have fun, especially the newbies. It's been quite a year for this company and we survived. Gotta celebrate that

Wednesday, December 07, 2022

Worry Later

 Nothing more excruciating than thinking things will be confirmed only to find out there's still gonna be a wait. Testing my patience once more.  For now, I will just try to set aside my anxiety and focus on immediate concerns. 

Tuesday, December 06, 2022


 I'm scared that today my fears will be confirmed. There's already pre-worrying happening from the armchair analysis. This is really making me go insane. I can't rest easy and the added fear surrounding me, makes things even more difficult to handle. That's why I keep myself from being happy because I know it won't last and that something will happen to spoil it. Better be miserable already so I don't lead myself to false hopes. NO. It's not the right way of thinking but I'm already so miserable and it's really just hard to fight back. 

Monday, December 05, 2022

As usual

Afraid and paranoid yet again as the day looms. I'm feeling things are turning bad again. Or I was just overthinking it. It's so repetitive but I can't break the cycle. All I can do is to distract myself from thinking about it way too much. Dear Lord, please no. Don't let my bad thoughts manifest.

Sunday, December 04, 2022


 I was reading an article on how kids/teens today are not good at typing but have a great command of touchscreen gadgets. Very true. During online school, my nephew could write an essay with just the Word app on his phone. I could NEVER do that. He first had his desktop computer in 2020 due to online school and he was a slow typer at first but he is now a fast typer mostly thanks to Roblox, Discord, and a typing test online that he got obsessed with for a time.

Saturday, December 03, 2022


 I had a good nap and I needed it so much. I worked extra hard this week so my weekend won't be as tight and there could be space for me to do nothing! I know I needed a day like this from time to time. So I can recharge as next week will be another challenging one. I hope and pray, things will turn out fine although I'm always in fear no matter what but gotta live on the best way I can.

Friday, December 02, 2022

Bad feeling

Once again whenever this thing is near I'm overwhelmed with worries. Every single thing that could be just normal I find another meaning. Hopefully, I'm wrong and this isn't what I am thinking right now. I'm afraid to be happy because there might be something that's gonna happen that will be the opposite. I wish I didn't think this way but struggling not to do so. 

Thursday, December 01, 2022


So it's Spotify Wrapped day today and of course, as a chart geek, I love a personalized customized chart! Anyway, let me share my top 5 songs and podcasts!

My top 5 songs:

1. As It Was - Harry Styles

2. Pano - Zach Tabudio

3. I Ain't Worried - One Republic

4. Titi Me Pregunto - Bad Bunny

5. Rosas (Extended Version) - Nica Del Rosario and Gab Pangilinan

My top 5 podcasts:

1. Dear MOR 

2. TV's Top 5

3. Ang Walang Kwentang Podcast 

4. Abroad In Japan

5. This American Life

Wednesday, November 30, 2022


 Today is a holiday but I'm in the office by choice because I do like working in the office with the aircon and all! And I like the commute as well because are fewer people around. In a way it relaxes me and soothes my anxiety and dare I say, I'm more productive as well? Anyway, this dubbing script I'm working is really quite a good show, a business drama that could easily bore me but it didn't and made me learn about the culture of the country where the show is set. That's what I like about what I do, I get to watch TV/movies while earning money! It's not a career that would make me rich but I'm at this point of my life where I'm not that ambitious as long as I have decent stability wit less stress possible. Definitely not something that would take me to greater heights but I'm totally okay with it, 

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

A Visit

 There were some foreigner clients who visited the office and I found they were from the demo project I wrote the dubbing script for over a month ago. I really liked that demo project and crossing my fingers we would get this project! It's nearing December and glad we already secured some projects already ahead of the new year. I'm still hoping we would get another new project soon from this other client I really like. We started 2022 jampacked with projects with limited personnel but somehow we managed to pull it off so I'm really we can secure more projects now too as we welcome the new year! I really hope that visit will actually pave the way to scoring that project!

Monday, November 28, 2022


 I just wish for a life of fewer complications but I know I will never get it. I'm so befuddled about how something that can be ignored can create a bigger mess. Isn't life hard enough as it is? Why do we feel compelled to add more to the stress and anxiety we are feeling? While I still go on and still make things work internally I'm just giving up. This exhausting feeling I've manifested in other facets of my life. There are just things that will not happen to me no matter what and now I admit it because of personal choice. While other elements are a factor but ultimately it is my choice to devote my life to this kind of living. I really just want to sit in the corner and mind my business but I know it's not in my nature, I always do something to make things OK for them and me in a way as well. But honestly just freaking tired that it keeps on happening and utterly hopeless. 

Sunday, November 27, 2022


Once again I just feel tired. Once again I hate feeling this way. Once again I hate that this is how I react whenever this happens. Once again I feel so helpless. Once again I'm skeptical why this just keeps happening. Once again I want to be in denial. Once again I'm hopeless. 

Saturday, November 26, 2022


Getting closer again to that routinary thing that somehow still keeps me - us - nervous. I really hope and pray nothing alarming will come out of it. But I dunno I've been training myself to deal with not favorable results. It could be a defense mechanism of some sort but God please let it be something that we would be worried about. 

Friday, November 25, 2022


 So I made a choice earlier which was based on a hinch and it seems that it worked. But of course, it won't be the case every day but I do like to see things out and test if my hunch is correct. But always calculated risk or close to that where I don't make big risks, just something that there's a minimal effect, well hopefully it is. I know it does not work all the time but sometimes there are just things when you feel so something strongly about.

Thursday, November 24, 2022

A trip

The Christmas movie I translated is now streaming on Netflix! It's THE NOEL DIARY. It is based on a book and it's not the usual Christmas romcom because it has a more dramatic tone but is still light to watch. I enjoyed translating it so much especially the love declaration toward the end, whew!  Kinda fitting that I translated a movie with a diary in the center of the story with what I've been doing here every single day for the past few years which has been really helpful to keep me sane!

Wednesday, November 23, 2022


 So happy to know that the two projects I've been waiting for have finally arrived. I know they were coming but I was getting a little antsy that they haven't arrived yet because time is essential and we could on work everything needed already before it gets caught in the middle of the holiday season! But anyway glad that these two projects are setting us up for next year as well. I've also been anticipating additional projects for this other client we have, a client which really to be honest made me so excited to work this year more than anything! So hopefully they are indeed coming soon, maybe this week? Yes, please

Tuesday, November 22, 2022


I've been feeling bad a lot lately I neglected how other people near me are feeling bad as well. One is enveloped by feat and sometimes we lost patience over it which is unfair because this is something beyond our control. It's the stress and anxiety talking. The thing is I can't seem to control myself from panicking and having mini meltdowns. The other is quite trapped. And last night was a testament to that but there is just a tricky situation and we need to cater to a need. It's so hard to be in the middle of things. But a scenario that could put an end to things is more depressing so  NO. We have to deal with all the complications and just pray things will find itself to a better position.

Monday, November 21, 2022


 MMK is ending after 31 years on the air. To be honest, I haven't watched it in a long time but to know that an iconic show is ending is just sad for sentimental reasons. Probably still an effect of the network not having a franchise anymore so funds aren't there or maybe just changing times and viewer preferences. I dunno but I feel a different kind of sadness knowing this show is ending. Maybe what I'm feeling is more than that and just connecting this show's fate to something else. 

Sunday, November 20, 2022

A Dream

 I may be overthinking but can't help but feel that it is a sign of what's gonna happen. I don't know what to feel anymore. Half trying to accept it and half in denial. I really hope I'm just my usual paranoid self and there's really nothing bad that's coming. NO.

Saturday, November 19, 2022


 Finishing what I delayed yesterday. To be honest, If I didn't get lazy all of a sudden yesterday I could have finished it so easily but I don't know what's up with me yesterday and even earlier today that I didn't have the drive to finish but now that I'm doing it, I was really in a good flow that I was able to do it quicker than usual. Maybe I need that down time to reboot?  I dunno but glad I didn't have to rush this off

Friday, November 18, 2022


 After three days of really hardcore working, I had a  "lighter" day. Well, I was supposed to do something today that can help unload some of the things I need to do but I dunno I got distracted by other things or maybe I did really need to have some break to recharge and I will get on hard core work mode again especially with all the things I need to finish next week . But hey carry on

Thursday, November 17, 2022


 It's hard not to feel that sometimes I feel forces are against me and the things that I try to avoid will still keep coming back to haunt me. Maybe I had this coming for being a coward for trying to escape -even temporarily- It consistently happens but I never learn.  But I want to give myself credit because I always give my all even if the stress sometimes sneaks in. But there are times I just feel like I need some space away from it all, it's not even fully disengaging, just a short reprieve. Maybe I don't deserve a break? 

Wednesday, November 16, 2022


 So finished one of the toughest dubbing scripts I ever did! But it was quite fulfilling because I really poured all my focus to finish it well! I'm quite confident with my work here! I still have a couple of scripts to work on but every time I finish something off my list I just get more motivated to do more! It sounds funny for some I guess but really this work has help me relax with all the anxieties I've been dealing with lately/  This year has been good and hopefully next year will be even better 

Tuesday, November 15, 2022


Trying my best to be calm when there's so much to worry about. Or maybe I just make things bigger than it really is.  Taking things one day at a time. That's all I can do at this point so I can stay sane because I can't be the one making things more difficult than it already is.

Monday, November 14, 2022


Taking a time off . Partly because of necessity but also I need to step back a little from all the anxiety. I feel guilty it's like I'm giving up but I swear it isn't despite feeling exhausted lately. I just need a breather to focus on something urgent but also to recharge so I can face the challenges with a clearer mind. I just hope and pray nothing bad happens in this short time. Please no.

Sunday, November 13, 2022


 Just as when I thought the day is okay, some unnecessary hassle got in the way. Small stuff to be honest but I'm so overwhelmed with everything in my life now that even a slight bump can give me a mountain of anxiety and exhaustion. But now I've calmed down a little I feel so awful to feel this way yet again. It's a cycle. I don't know how to control it from not happening again. 

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Trouble Within

 It's hard to concentrate when I can't shake this feeling off my system. I know I need to be grateful because it could have been worst but no matter how hard I try I just can't suppress this feeling of despair. How I wish the situation was different, how I wish we were in a better position. It's selfish but I wish I was able to maximize life and enjoy it right now but every moment when I feel a tinge of joy, I'm quickly reminded things could still get worse. I want to look forward to something, to feel excitement again but that feeling that anything bad could happen keeps me in check all the time. I wish to be free of this feeling and yet I know deep inside that being freed from this internal prison comes with a price I don't want to happen. It's hard to feel that because no matter what, there's simply nothing I can do no matter how hard to try to change everything. It's an ugly feeling I wish I can just erase from existence. 

Friday, November 11, 2022


Another manifestation of the current problem. I tried my best to be as calm and understanding but it's really difficult not to be overwhelmed with all the stuff being thrown at us. It's neverending. There's no sense of clarity on the horizon. I'm frustrated and devastated. I'm losing my mind at times because I feel so hopeless. It's not the worst-case scenario yet but the signs are there. The other possible solution will bring despair as well. We can't find a winning option.

Thursday, November 10, 2022


When I heard this question earlier it feels like a confirmation of what I've been worrying about. I tried my best to sound calm and not too dismissive but it bothered me so much. I feel like giving up again but of course, I won't. But just the thought of dealing with this possible nightmare is eating me inside. Once again praying hard that what I'm thinking is not true. Please Lord hear our prayer.

Wednesday, November 09, 2022


 So excited that the Filipino-dubbed for Warrior Nun Season 1 is now streaming! Season 2 comes out tomorrow and hopefully that Filipino dubbed for it will be out at the same time as well. This is a show that I've seen for the first time due to work but definitely became a favorite. Season 2 is even more fantastic! I hope it gets renewed for season 3 and not just because its our project but I really want to see more of this show

Tuesday, November 08, 2022


 You have no idea how happy I was when the Mercury Drug branch near yus finally replied to my text that my father's Suki card (which I have been using for the last 2 years) was indeed at their branch and I carelessly left it there. I know it can be replaced it but the lesser hassle is actually finding it! I have over 300 points there already!

Monday, November 07, 2022


 Maligayang Isang Daan Taon sa Liwayway Magazine!

Bumibili dati nanay ko nito at palagi kong binabasa mga maikiling kwento at syempre ang komiks! Matagal ng nawala ang mga komiks, songhits at magasin na kinalakihan ko kaya nakakatuwa na meron isa na tumagal at lumalaban pa din na manatili sa modernong panahon. Nabasa ko sa FB page nila na mabibili na ang Liwayway sa Shopee at Lazada! Mabuti naman dahil gusto kong makabili na landmark issue na 'to dahil mahirap na rin makahanap ng nagtitinda nito (o kahit anong magasin na meron pa rin) sa panahon ngayon.

Sunday, November 06, 2022


 It was good to take a visit to a place where I had so much fun even if it was just temporarily. I could have done some advanced work this weekend but since nothing was immediately due so I decided why not take a break this weekend and do something that's just for leisure! I do deserve it. I need to recharge to gear up for work ahead and I do hope we can get some new projects I've been hoping for! 

Saturday, November 05, 2022


I feel a little jaded lately but always trying to keep things going and live one day at a time. Right now I feel there's a win here but who knows what will happen the next days. Always hoping for good days. Please let us have many of those.

Friday, November 04, 2022


 So yeah I'm beginning to worry about another thing. Trying to tell myself that this should not be a big cause of concern but one thing I've learned with the events of the past 2 years is that don't really take things lightly. But as always with my anxieties, always hoping and praying my worst fearts are not gonna happen. Please.

Thursday, November 03, 2022


Pretty satisfied that I was able to attain my goal today and finish everything earlier than expected too. Now, I have some free time to do other stuff but choosing, for now, to take a breather before I take on more stuff again tomorrow or maybe even tonight. All the stress and anxiety disappear each time I focus my attention to things I need to get done now. 

Wednesday, November 02, 2022


I  just watching something that made me reflect on some things in life, on how some other people, or no maybe us in general can be victims of our own doing. Like what we think is we are doing something special, something noble but on the other side we could be ignoring some serious red flags as well because we could be blinded of thinking this is for the greater good. It's both frustrating and depressing to be quite honest!

Tuesday, November 01, 2022


 I finished writing the dubbing script for this upcoming romcom movie and boy I really had fun. Of course there are cliches and staples but love translating those words! I think this movie will come out Valentines 2023! So can't wait for that! Back to the office tomorrow and I really have a lot of things to do but this kind of work fuels me! Also hoping for upcoming dubbing projects I've been hoping for to finally be greenlighted this week! 

Monday, October 31, 2022

The Horror

 This time of the year is when horror/spooky stories are everywhere. But to tell you the truth, those stories don't scare me as much as they used to. It's not because I'm braver or anything close to that it's just the fast few years, heck even months, I've been living with fear from a lot of aspects of my life. Real life is just scarier these days. 

Sunday, October 30, 2022


 The majority of my working life has been devoted to overseeing this channel's operations practically doing everything from basic cut-to-cut editing of each episode, scheduling, and even customer service to viewers messaging us for signal concerns. I'm a TV guy so having a job related to it is a treat. It's never easy because we have limited resources but we managed to make it work. I'm deeply grateful to all the people I've worked with over the years. I'm very proud TeleNovela Channel Philippines is still on the air, 11 years in. You can see TeleNovela Channel on Sky Cable Ch. 81, Cignal Ch. 126, and various cable operators nationwide. We are also streaming 24/7 via Cignal Play Premium 200

Saturday, October 29, 2022


 Definitely the heaviest rainfall this year and I feel like we didn't see this coming. At least here in Mega Manila. Weeks earlier we are all properly warned of a potential super typhoon and it wasn't that strong (again in this area only because I know it had a bigger effect elsewhere) but now I feel like there was a gap in information. I have my theories but well it's something I don't want to dig deep into anymore as it frustrates me! Anyway, glad I was able to finish this script I wanted to finish today.  Another script to work on tomorrow with a target completion on Tuesday but hoping I can finish earlier on Monday! I hope I can do it!

Friday, October 28, 2022

Listing Down

 Long weekend ahead and my plans are of course to use this time to write dubbing scripts. I have 3 on que although none are immediately due I was hoping to finish one today but it was tougher than I expected as it had very difficult scenes of two characters having long screaming matches! I wanted to do some writing tonight but I got lazy! Maybe because it isn't due anytime so that's why I'm slacking! Anyway, the other project I have is an upcoming romcom movie, I'll just do the second half because the writer for this asked for my help because she couldn't finish and well I accepted because I would love to do a romcom dubbing script. My target time to finish this one is Tuesday, hope I can do it. Another one I'm set to do is the penultimate episode of a sitcom I do really watch even way before it became our project! This isn't immediately due as well but hoping to finish it next weekend. I have two other writing projects that will fill up my November!

Thursday, October 27, 2022


 So this bigger production studio had a press tour of their new office with a live dubbing demo of their Netflix project. I just saw the photo and their studio is HUGE. Like 4 of our small studios combined! The other production company doing the Netflix dubbing projects here is the local branch of a big company worldwide. We really are just a small company compared to them but still, I'm quite amazed we were able to pull it off given our limited resources! Frankly, I'm okay being the underdog here!

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Please no

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I have a bad feeling about something that happened moments ago. This extra glee I'm witnessing is something I should be happy but I feel the opposite because I worry something not-so-good could happen next? Jeesh. Why do I think this way? I just don't want to feel complacent and then get caught off guard when something bad happens next. I'm so messed up. But please Lord let not my fears happen. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2022


A rainy day and it was both relaxing and stressful at the same time. But for some reason, it did push to go all out with my productivity as I've already finished some work duties way ahead of my usual schedule! I still have things lined up for the next few days but those are more flexible ones as I'm already done with the more immediate concerns. I'm always like this when there's a major long weekend coming up. I do advanced work to cover up things I need to accomplish and glad I was able to do it again. Anyway, time to get some rest now!

Monday, October 24, 2022


I just finished a take-home work which I wasn't able to finish at the office today. Truth be told, I could just do it tomorrow because there's still time but I wanted to finish it today so I can focus on other tasks as well. I'm in 100% work mode, especially with a 4-day holiday weekend coming that will affect my workflow! I just want to maximize this week to be more productive! Really good thing I genuinely enjoy what I do at work and doing it provides some personal entertainment too lately because my work involves TV shows! I mean yeah I know I could have been more ambitious in my career, strived to earn more but you see as I've grown older I just want to do something that's not as stressful that I could think that I don't want to go to work. I felt that during my second job so when I landed this job I just wanted to last at least a year but also be genuinely interested in it. This year has been really good at the office and I hope to have more fruitful years ahead hence why I look forward to potential new projects and I hope we do get it!

Sunday, October 23, 2022


 October is about to end and why is the weather so humid? It feels like summer these days. Also, I dread next weekend because of the extended weekend holiday is upon us. Traffic going home will be stressful and also not having office days on Oct. 31 and Nov. 1 will be challenging too for some of the tasks I need to finish at work. Well, honestly I can manage to do two non-working days because we're ahead of schedule but I dunno I don't want things to do piled up upon returning to work! But oh well this should not be an issue, I just stress myself unnecessarily yet again!  Anyway, hoping for some of the things I'm waiting for at work next week to happen. Mostly, new projects anticipating/hoping for the company to get soon!

Saturday, October 22, 2022


Today was the day that I really made the step so something I wanted to do but didn't have the courage and yes the money to do it. It's a small step to me that hopefully will help me have a sense of security in the future. It's gonna take a lot of discipline for me to make this commitment but I am determined to do this. It's a little late to be honest but better late than never.

Friday, October 21, 2022

The Point

 Some people say outrageous things to get attention or worst, distract from more pressing issues. Sadly, most of the time they are successful because they know what buttons to push.  "Sa dami ng problema bakit yan ang pinagdidiskitahan?" That is the point, they want your reactions/takedowns to dominate social media and bury the more important issues. I hope more people realize and wag na kumagat pa. You are giving them what they want

Thursday, October 20, 2022


Last night's incident is still bugging me today. I have complex feelings of despair, frustration, and shame. The last one is because I should be handling it better than what I'm currently doing of being so paranoid, stressed, and acting up a little. I'm not helping the situation because of how I am thinking right now. I'm tired but it's no excuse to give up and be mad for something no one really wants to feel. I understand everything but I just can't help but feel so scared shitless that I'm acting this way. Lord please help us find peace in this situation. Heal the wounded soul and hearts.

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

On Repeat

Here we go again and trying my best to be calm about it because there's nothing we can do at this point.  Also, trying my best not to panic as well. Maybe I just go back to my resigned self. I do hate a defeatist attitude. Hard to stay hopeful when nothing improves. I just easily give up so trying my best not to do it again. So I dunno how to process what I feel. The stress I'm dealing with. I don't do a good job controlling it. I tend to spiral out of control.  So what now. Just wait and see I guess. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2022


 Just finished working on editing this dubbing script! I love this project so I really went all out! With that said because I focused on this, I left some other tasks that I need to finish tomorrow but it's gonna be fine, I'm gonna accomplish them all. I hope this project turns out well!

Monday, October 17, 2022

Random ADR Thoughts

I wrote dubbing scripts for an animated children's show, two episodes of around 10 minutes each. It is for English dubbing so my years of exposure watching  Disney Junior/Nickelodeon when my nephew was young paid off! I like cartoons for something light and easy like this.  I was really busy the past few days as I also worked on the English dubbing script of an Asian show with a  business politics-driven plot with a lot of math in the dialogue but I liked the setting really because it's world new to me. I also wrote the finale of a telenovela, I always love writing finales really! So far that's the last telenovela project currently. We are still waiting for which shows will be dubbed in English too. I'm hoping two telenovelas I'm interested in personally will be our next projects! Oh I also did a demo script for a potential client that will a European sitcom to English. I hope we get the project because well it's something new for us and yes I would love to write for it!  The two recent Netflix movies I translated for are currently both in the top 10! I feel proud in a way although not sure if a lot of viewers watched the Filipino-dubbed version and I hope those who did liked it! 

Sunday, October 16, 2022


 After yesterday's stressful day, today was okay, As good as one can hope at the moment. I hope for more days like this. Just calm. Some annoying stuff from time to time but manageable. But I know it won't be like this every day and maybe tomorrow or any moment now stress will make a comeback. But please not soon. However, I'll cherish the moment when there's calmness in my heart even if it is only for a short time before I go back to facing life's challenges again. 

Saturday, October 15, 2022


 I'm really just tired. But I have no choice but just deal with it. Endless stress. Dealing with problems that shouldn't be problems in the first place but keeps happening again over and over. Simple tired and exhausted. I know there is a much darker scenario that I just have to be grateful this isn't it. But I'm just simply tired. Of worrying. Of living in fear. Of being scared. Lagi na lang ganito. 

Friday, October 14, 2022

Luckiest Hollow!

 Two of the dubbing scripts I worked on are now streaming on Netflix! Last week it was Luckiest Girl Alive and today the Halloween family flick The Curse of Bridge Hollow! I've seen both multiple times in the course of working on the projects but I watched it again now that it's on Netflix! I feel proud! The past two weeks were once again hectic with me juggling writing dubbing scripts, doing QC, cable channel duties, and family needs but every time I finish things, I feel so accomplished. There are also new dubbing projects for a client abroad one is a business-driven drama that's quite interesting to do but there's a lot of MATH in the storyline haha and now we have this foreign animated show for pre-school kids. I haven't been watching other TV shows for leisure these days because my watching time nowadays are related to work but I enjoy it!

Thursday, October 13, 2022


 This may very well be something minor but I'm afraid of underestimating things because I'm just scared that something could surprise me so I guess I always try to prepare myself for the negative stuff. But you see I've done this several times and when my negative fears are confirmed, no amount of preparation can ever get me ready to deal with when it has become a reality.  This cycle is exhausting. I wish I can really stop but afraid this is something I might not be able to control anymore. 

Wednesday, October 12, 2022


 Being unremarkable for something today made me really happy! Yes, it's the kind of unremarkable that I need to happen. My paranoid self was so worried about this routine thing that could catch me off guard. Good thing it wasn't the case. Thank you Lord. But I do hope my other worry, the neverending one, will end too or at least in a place where it won't be that scary anymore. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Same Worries

 So it happened again last night while I was unaware because I was not there but I had a feeling something was going on. I hate it when my paranoia is confirmed. Now, I'm getting paranoid over another thing but I do really hope this one won't be confirmed. Please Lord, we- I -  can only handle so much, please let no my worries truly happen. So scared again. 

Monday, October 10, 2022


 I tried to do so many things recently that it's getting a little overwhelming now! But I wanted this so now I'm getting what I deserve but I do really need to slow down or at least control things that give me unnecessary hassles in life. That's what I'm good at in other things too so might well do the same here as well. 

Sunday, October 09, 2022

Left and Right

 So my earphones broke! Well, the left ear has now lower volume! The other one still works but what an inconvenience, it just lasted a year and this was a more expensive brand but was just on sale at the time when I bought it so I guess this was to be expected?!! Oh well, I need to buy another one.  Another expense that I have to do.

Saturday, October 08, 2022


So we had this urgent script that only had a short turnaround because of a client request that they need the dubbed version ASAP. So yeah, I bravely took on the project because well I do think I can do it because I'm familiar with this kind of project already and wrote dubbing scripts for a similar show in the past and they are relatively easier to do because of simple conversations and really good raw English translated script that I didn't need that much rewriting in context but just something to work around for synching.  And also ever since last year when the company helped financially when my mother was hospitalized and then allowed me to write dubbing scripts with TF, I did promise myself I will help the company in every way I can as gratitude and support as well. Through ups and downs, I've been here and you know even during the frustrating times and the times I tried to leave there's always something that made me stay. Always rooting for my second family here. 

Friday, October 07, 2022


 So I accepted a task not to inconvenience others but also I do believe I'm the one capable to do it with less hassle than possible! It's gonna be a challenging one with the shorter time frame but determined to finish it. 

Thursday, October 06, 2022


 When I bought this laptop a few months ago it came with an Adidas voucher worth three thousand pesos. I had to submit some stuff first via e-mail before I could receive the voucher. It took a week before it got verified and after receiving the e-mail containing the voucher, it will be effective after 2 weeks too. So much waiting! But then after the date when I can use the voucher I was too busy to go to the designated mall to claim so it took nearly 2 months before I would be able to do so! I asked the Facebook page of the laptop brand I bought to ask if this voucher has an expiry and there was none so I think that was the factor why it took me a while because it had no deadline! Anyway, so glad I was able to use it! I found shoes that cost exactly 3,000! When I redeemed my voucher there were actually 2 customers before who did the same as well! There was a list apparently of the voucher recipients and I was part of Batch 10 when I signed I was the only one left from that page who haven't claimed it! Anyway, used the shoes today and I was so happy!  I've deprived myself of stuff like this because I can't afford it so glad I was able to get a good brand of shoes essentially free!

Wednesday, October 05, 2022


 Two of the dubbing scripts I wrote had some not-so-good feedback that I found out back-to-back. First time to receive that kind of feedback since returning to writing dubbing scripts  this year. To be fair to me, the scripts had synching for one character each only so the problem was not the entire script at least. It had synching issues because my lines were too long and those particular scenes really had long lines so I wasn't able to estimate the words properly. Admittedly, I wrote these two scripts near each other so yeah I wasn't able to give each script the right amount needed to re-check for polishing it.  It's also a good reminder to me that I should slow it down sometimes and not take multiple projects at once so this won't happen again

Tuesday, October 04, 2022


 My brother is a regular listener to his program. I found his style too abrasive but he indeed voiced out some of our concerns that we can't or are afraid to speak out loud. I did think he was in danger because of the way he is outspokem. And it did happen.  Scary times.

Monday, October 03, 2022


 My meltdown yesterday was shameful. It was mostly internal but there were traces of it that got unleashed. Not too big to make total damage but enough to make me feel guilty about how horrible I was for thinking that, for giving up easily. I feel off. I'm going back and forth about if I should be hopeful or just be accepting of the inevitable. There's so much chaos happening in my mind and heart right now. Lord please guide me

Sunday, October 02, 2022


Over and over again. I'm so tired but I feel so guilty to feel this tired. This has been my cycle. Trying my best to be supportive and strong but the fact that it seems to never end is eating me alive. I feel so miserable because I shouldn't feel this tired but I can't help but feel this way, I keep reminding myself over and over again that things could be much worse so I have to be grateful that it isn't the case. But I'm exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally and I dunno maybe even spiritually? The other day I was wishing for a stress-free last stretch of 2022 but nope the last quarter of the year already brought me so much pain and agony. I want to give up but I know won't ever do that and I acknowledge the fact that giving up will just give me more misery. I can't escape this but I just have to deal with each day it threatens whatever stability I have 

Saturday, October 01, 2022

Guns and Girls

 So last night I finished writing the dubbing script of a show that has a war setting. It was a little complicated to do even if there was less dialogue due to a lot of the scenes being in action mode. I guess I had difficulty choosing the right word to use especially military terms? I hope it did well on this and there won't be a problem during dubbing.  Today, I'm midway done with this half-hour teen comedy dubbing script. This one is tough to translate because of the snappy dialogue and some of the jokes are heavy on pop-culture references that are not easy to localize but it's so fun doing it! Normally, I would like to try to finish it today but I decided to take a break since I'm halfway done already and my brain needs to recharge so I can finish it tomorrow with creativity in full capacity! 

Friday, September 30, 2022

Surviving So Far

Just like that, we are enting the last quarter of 2022! Well, so far this year has been a rollercoaster ride! I'm still so nervous about what lies ahead but the present looks good and I hope it can stay that way and that there will be no more major setbacks. I'm grateful though that for all the negative pits I fell into, I still find myself climbing. Some major happened, and some didn't and very thankful for that.  Praying hard each day that brighter days ahead despite a dark cloud looming. 

Thursday, September 29, 2022

No Echo

Ever since that month I've been trying to disengage really because truth be told I just feel hopeless that things will still turn out for the better anytime soon. I know there are a good amount who doesn't feel it was legit support but when you are on the ground and interact with regular people, you will know what the pulse truly is. It's disheartening but what can we do? I try not to think about it anymore because unpleasant thoughts come into my head and it's not a good feeling at all. I'm dealing with so many personal things already that  I can't add that up one on my list of worries. 

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

On Deck

I have three dubbing scripts to finish in the coming days. Three different shows as well. An Asian historical drama, then Mexican telenovela, and an American youth comedy. I really want to do the comedy first because it's shorter and just sounds more fun to do but I think I will do the tougher script which is the historical drama. I previewed it and there are scenes of war so not as much dialogue as heavy as let's say the Mexican soap or tricky to write with all the  Gen Z pop culture jokes for the American comedy. Glad to be continually busy. I was busy the past few doings doing my channel duties and quality checking for dubbing. I need to finish some stuff tomorrow so I can have the night cleared to start writing! I feel quite messy these days with all the worries personally and then the mistake of caring so much about what's happening in the country and the world. Those are things I have no control over anyway. I want to completely check out from that because my personal life is already too much but sometimes I can't help it but still care despite trying to be this apathetic person.  So getting lost in the world for the dubbing scripts I write really helps me a lot to be honest. I watch TV while earning from it so that's nice!

Tuesday, September 27, 2022


 Because of someone's carelessness, I have to stop doing something I really like doing. While I do think what that person did is not comparable to it but just to be safe we have to cover all our bases. It's a bummer because I liked doing it to feel good about myself. But it really is on the surface just a shallow thing so it's fine. 

Monday, September 26, 2022


Another restless night is upon us. I need to be at my best to not make things worst. I have to be the source of confidence despite me losing all hope inside but I can't let this energy affect them. It's really difficult mentally speaking. But I need to be strong

Sunday, September 25, 2022


 It's the calm before the storm. There's a looming supertyphoon coming and while right now it is still just gloomy here, the reports are very alarming and frankly scary as well. Around this time, superthyphoons are quite prevalents. Milenyo. Ondoy.  I hope this one won't be as scary as those two. 

Saturday, September 24, 2022


 Balancing things I need to do this weekend is extra tricky. Like what do I prioritize first? I did realized that I neglected one major thing in my life because I've been so preoccupied in front of my laptop all the time. So now I allocated good enough time for that so it won't be neglected anymore. Of course I do a lot of things in service for them but you need to spend time as well to just talk things that are not about the immediate concerns. 

Friday, September 23, 2022


 Today's my uncle's birthday. He would have turned 58 today. Two years later, I still feel sad that we lost him so soon. And truth to be told, I still think it's so unfair he passed away with so much life left in him. But life is just unpredictable. His death and the months-long struggle before he left are something until now left a big mark on me. I was there during his last breath. Tito Romy, Happy Birthday up there. We miss you so much

Thursday, September 22, 2022


 Another stressful night dealing with things that happens so many times that I don't really know how to handle it anymore. Trying to stay calm as possible. Trying to be in control of everything. Trying not to let fears take over. Trying not to lose hope.

Wednesday, September 21, 2022


 So I'm finally going to do something that relates to finances that I should have done when I was in my 20s but I didn't do it because well I simply can't afford it and also lacks confidence as well. But this time I found a package that's ideal for me and a person I fully tryst. Plus thank heaven somehow I  can make it work with the opportunity I've had this years.  The past 2 years has taught me a lot really and while it's a little bit late to do so, at least the ideal time, it's still not that late to do something now that can protect me in the future. 

Tuesday, September 20, 2022


I'm currently working on a dubbing script for the finale of a show that is yet to be released. It is over one hour and there are very long and complicated lines to translate! But for what it's worth I'm having fun translating it despite being so difficult to do. I'm really conscious because I don't want to mess this up where the dubbers will have a hard time acting it out. So I really have to be careful but also be creative as well! I worked hard earlier to finish some of my key channel duties so I can have the time and energy to do this script! But I'm really excited when this finally comes out and I will so brag this :D

Monday, September 19, 2022


 I'm feeling a little positive after some good news. While I'm fully aware of the many faults, I'm already too emotionally attached to this already that I'm rooting for redemption soon. Despite everything that has happened, I've always felt that there's sincerity to change things for the better. It's sad that for some it's a little late because some have to be let go or got fed and left but at least maybe what we have currently can be stable for years to come. And I do hope those who left (a lot with justified reasons) can open their hearts to us again

Sunday, September 18, 2022


 When everything feels stable somewhat there's that recurring test of patience again. On how much I can endure what was before. And I admit I don't do a good job handling it with grace and patience. I always get consumed by despair and frustration so I commit the same mistakes again and I will end up feeling guilty about it. I keep reminding myself that this is better than the worst-case scenario where we already  had a taste of it multiple times just in the past weeks. It is absolutely exhausting 

Saturday, September 17, 2022


 I think I now know what to do when an incident like that happens again. Hopefully, my hunch is right and that I will always have the patience and strength to handle it. It won't be easy and requires a lot of me but hey this is still so much a better option than what I've been fearing

Friday, September 16, 2022


So I sort of snapped again because of the stress of the situation but good thing I realized that I was wrong and tried to rectify that mistake by doing something that could hopefully ease up the tension. I really hope it does. I'm so stressed again but trying to be as relaxed as possible. I need to be for the better good.

Thursday, September 15, 2022


A good day today as it is the time when I get what I deserve because of the hard work I've been doing! I'm usually a self-deprecating person but when it comes to this matter I'm so proud of the work I do fo because I really gave my all. When I finally had to do all of this I really made sure I will do a good job about this because I'm making up for the lost time when I wasn't able to do this because of outside factors and also my own inhibitions. All the struggles I've had this year at least I have this one that really makes me happy and where I get reward for the hard work I do. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2022


 Just as expected, things really don't look good as earlier perceived. Another cause of alarm. I'm so exhausted and I also feel awful that I feel so frustrated. For now, everything's okay again but there's always that lingering thought of until when? It's so terrible to feel this way and I need every courage I can muster to face this each passing day.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022


 So it wasn't my worst fear but trying to contain happiness because what if this is a red herring? What if we are being misguided? Right now the usual sign of discomfort is there so I have to be mindful of what i I feel, of what to expect because complacency is  dangerous

Monday, September 12, 2022

Wish It Wasn't

 Well, it has begun and tomorrow it will be confirmed. I'm afraid. I need to keep myself together for what will happen tomorrow. Maybe I'm just thinking so negatively yet again. But the signs are there, one can't miss it. Or maybe I'm overthinking things like I usually do. But I can't contain this nagging feeling I have. 

Sunday, September 11, 2022


 Knowing what I know, or what I think I know, is honestly so hard. When something is something positive I'm holding back because of that. I can't be fully happy about it because of what's gonna happen next. I really hope my pessimism will not manifest into the truth but I just can't help but feel that it is. I'm trying to think how I will handle this. I don't want to add panic but I don't want to encourage false hopes. I have this idealized situation but not really ideal because it is what I feel is the most comfortable option in an undesirable situation which isn't good news. I'm just trying to cope earlier with what's coming.  But can't it no be true for once? Please.

Saturday, September 10, 2022

It is..

 ... what it is. While I prepared for a result like this, it still stresses me out. But there's really nothing I can do anymore but just wait and see. I need to appear to be strong despite breaking inside each day. Just temporary reprieves but the inevitable will come soon enough. I try not to think about it but what I can do really? The thoughts will always cross my mind. I don't want to give up but fighting is hard. I'm ashamed of how many times I think that it would be easier if it just happens. But I know it's just the exhausted me talking and I don't really mean it. But still, it hurts so much when I think of the gloomy picture. The best that I can really do is just not be an added problem. To appear to be stable and calm despite everything chaotic going on inside my mind. 

Friday, September 09, 2022


 Just finished writing this dubbing script for a teen sitcom! I love writing for it because I love comedies. It's so fun working on this one that I found myself laughing every now than while I was translating/writing. Although I admit it was a challenge to localize some of the jokes, especially the sex jokes. I mean direct translation would just sound crass and is not the intended type of humor! Hopefully, I was able to pull this off and the dubbers would have a blast delivering my translated jokes and puns!

Thursday, September 08, 2022

Easy Choice

 Yeah, whatever I was thinking of doing tomorrow will have to take the backseat. Priorities first. Yeah in a way it sucks I don't have the luxury to do things that I really want but my rational self won. This is just a more important thing. I have to look after their welfare. It needs to be done. 

Wednesday, September 07, 2022

Will or Will Not

 I have something on Friday that I'm not sure if I'll pursue or not. It's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things but it's something in line with my interest and something I haven't done since well pre-pandemic times. But there's a conflict if I pursue which if I think more about it's something workable but I will just face things that will be frankly a hassle. I have whole day to think about what I should do, go do it and have some fun or be safe and practical

Tuesday, September 06, 2022


 So I've witnessed once again a reminder that things are still not okay. That my worst fears can still happen. Truth be told, I'm exhausted but I can't give up. 

Monday, September 05, 2022

Thirty Five

 35 today. Thank you to all those who greeted me. The one thing I'm trying to avoid as I grow older is romanticizing the past. I'm a sentimental person so it's not that easy but I've come to realize that nostalgia can sometimes cloud how you see things in the present and even the future too.  Don't get me wrong I think it's totally fine to have nostalgia trips every now and then but we do often fall into the trap of just remembering the "good highlights" and conveniently forgetting the not-so-good things. Sometimes what worked before is just not applicable today anymore. Learn from the past but also learn to adapt.

Sunday, September 04, 2022

Mid 30s

 Turning 35 in a few hours and it's a mixed bag. Of course, happy I'm reaching this age generally OK! But of course, growing old always will make you think of how your life has been. I do feel my age now but sometimes there are moments where I feel I'm still not adult enough especially thinking where my parents/siblings were at this age. But you know what I'm glad I was able to overcome everything that I have been through especially the very tough last three years or so. I honestly don't what to feel and expect from life anymore. I just want things to be okay and less stressful moments in life. Of course that's impossible but let me dream for a moment. 

Saturday, September 03, 2022


 Today I worked on the tagalized dubbing script for the final episode of a Korean show currently airing on local TV right now. This is not due for another two weeks but I love writing finale episodes and I requested the dubbing coordinator if I could write this one! I'm almost finished actually, just one scene left! It's a little tough because it's a long one stating a legal sentence! But really enjoyed writing this finale because I get to write overdramatic lines like "May nagmamay-ari ng puso at hindi ako yun" and "mas gugustuhin ko mawala siya sa piling ko kung mas sasaya siya na wala ako"! It's a melodrama so I have the license to write this way! I really enjoyed it a lot! 

Friday, September 02, 2022


 The new office shirt was released today! Our first one in many years. Our company has actually rebranded adding "studios" to its name hence a new shirt to reflect the change!

Thursday, September 01, 2022


To be honest, I'm so over Jose Mari Chan jokes whenever September starts but I don't say it to anyone because you know I don't wanna be that person who thinks trivial things like that so seriously.  Yeah, let them have their fun I guess. But really the joke has run its course, just the same punchlines! Oh well, I do really hope this upcoming holiday season will be kind to us. 

Wednesday, August 31, 2022


I'm really enjoying an upcoming season of a TV show that we're currently dubbing. I made it a big priority to check and improve the dubbing scripts of this show because the story is so riveting. I wrote the dubbing script for the season finale and it has an open-ended ending I hope it gets renewed not just because it's our project but I want to see more of this show and see how it will end!

Tuesday, August 30, 2022


So yeah the thing I was nervous about has been delayed for a few more days. I don't know what to feel about that. I'm the type of person that wants to do everything as soon as possible but I will just have to wait. Hoping and praying for a favorable outcome. I'll try not to stress about it in the meantime. 

Monday, August 29, 2022


 Working in the office on a holiday and I really like it. It just feels more relaxed already and for some reason, I'm more productive too when there's a sense of calm. But as always there's something inside me bothered about something else. It's a recurring feel and yet I never get used to it. I want to completely surrender everything but I feel ashamed because there's still that fighting spirit that I must take note of and also get my strength too. Here it goes again but hey I need to remind myself about how despite everything that has happened, we always survive. Lord give me strength.

Sunday, August 28, 2022


 So happy I was able to finish the dubbing script of an upcoming Christmas movie! Well, to be honest, it was 't really the christmasy movie I was hoping for. The story really could have happened on a regular time. It was really more of a character drama which is still right up in my alley. While I struggled to start this, once I was able to get to the big monologue parts, I really enjoyed translating it! The big declaration of love, in the end, was such a treat to translate! I'm excited when this comes out and hopefully my dubbing script will translate well on screen!

Saturday, August 27, 2022


I had a goal today but didn't really do that well because well I got lazy! I guess I can afford to be lazy because this task isn't immediately due but I really want to finish this as soon as possible. I'll try again tomorrow! I want to finish this project because I want to move to other projects that I find exciting! But I have to finish this first so hopefully more progress for me tomorrow!

Friday, August 26, 2022

Holding on

 Everything is really fragile. I can't be complacent because the threat of it happening again is pretty much present. I'm scared but also trying to be relaxed about it. Maybe a little resigned as well? I don't know what to exactly feel but the last thing I need to be is the person that will add more negative energy. 

Thursday, August 25, 2022


 A little laid back for me today. Still productive but not as productive as I was the past 2 days.  It's a mix of feeling a little lazy and also giving myself some pause because overdoing things will hurt and I can produce better output at full capacity. Yesterday, I also felt I was gonna get sick but thankfully it didn't happen. So yeah maybe a little relaxed day was nice. Anyway, hopefully I'm back to full capacity tomorrow so I can more things done

Wednesday, August 24, 2022


Currently writing a dubbing script for a Christmas movie and I'm loving it so far! It's an upcoming release so excited when this comes out! It's September next week so yeah 'tis the season! I really hope our upcoming holidays will be stress-free. Praying for it hard. 

Tuesday, August 23, 2022


Rainy weather today and such a good time to actually chill but I really had a lot of things to do today, especially catching up with work that got delayed because of last week's major dilemma. So far things are looking okay but I'm always worried though. But I'm trying not to let it overwhelm me again. It's so emotionally exhausting. I need to relax and trust things will be better. Now, I'm focusing my energy on work again because hey it is  good to be distracted while also being productive!

Monday, August 22, 2022

First Day

 So my nephew's first day in face-to-face classes after 2 years was today and I asked him how was it and he had a very nonchalant response! Well, typical teen but I do hope he will adjust well and the school environment will be good for him as well. He is smart but the past 2 years definitely affected his drive for academics and also socially speaking as well outside of his Roblox online friends. High school is such a crucial time and I hope he finds a good spot as he enters this stage even if it was delayed for two years.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Back to School

 My nephew is in Grade 9 but tomorrow is his first day in face-to-face high school. It's his first time to be in a new school too. The last time he was inside a physical classroom was when he was just 11 and now he's 14. Major adjustments and I hope it works out well for him. I'm quite excited for him!

Saturday, August 20, 2022


 After a very torturous week, I breathe a sigh of relief today. I'm still very much scared that this wouldn't last and we go back again to the cycle of endless uncertainty and non-stop fears but for now, I thank God, that the worst fear that I was starting to accept didn't happen. Please Lord, let this last longer. 

Friday, August 19, 2022


 My mind has been so preoccupied the past week that right now I feel so confused about what to do next. There are a million things I NEED to accomplish but the timing is just not right. I can't function but I need to make it work. For my sanity as well. 

Thursday, August 18, 2022


 So perhaps it wasn't really what I feared and it was just something to shake our consciousness. But for now, I'm managing my expectations. I went through so much hell in my mind where I basically made myself so miserable. It isn't over yet but things, hopefully, are turning around. Please give me this to us Lord.

Wednesday, August 17, 2022


 I hate to feel this way, that now I prefer the sadder option because if this continues it is basically just one big hell for all of us. Maybe there's still hope but I feel scared. Not gonna lie I'm questioning everything about why this happening and how it has gotten worst that surpasses even my worst fears. Maybe we deserve it. Or do I deserve it? My mind is spiraling and keeping it together is harder than usual but please Lord listen to my prayer. I beg you

Tuesday, August 16, 2022


 So yeah it's pretty clear, that we made a mistake. In the back of my head, I knew this was a possibility but I was hoping it wasn't because it was the easier choice but nope fate slapped us back and now we are in the worst-case scenario. A nightmare. And I don't know what to do next, 

Monday, August 15, 2022

Standing on the Edge

 Here it goes again. I'm totally worried but there's nothing I can do. I'm half-accepting. I'm half in denial. It's just waiting to see if the light of hope beams again or it's total darkness. I feel numb in some ways, I feel tired too which I feel so guilty about but what I can do this is what I feel. I want to let go but maybe I'm just being the defeatist I usually am. I'm questioning so many things in life right now. It's the stress or maybe a feeling that has been buried down ever since where I was just afraid to acknowledge, I'm at this point where I just wait and see, embracing the worst-case scenario like I usually do.  Let it be.

Sunday, August 14, 2022

No Escape

 Yeah, I was a fool to think it will miraculously go away. What's inevitable will happen and I really hope I can handle this so much better than I did before. I knew it. Things just don't work out for me. It never does. I'm always worried for a reason. 

Saturday, August 13, 2022


 Anxiety. I wish I could escape from this for real. But it isn't the case. It's so hard to be enslaved by this. It's driving me insane. But I need to remind myself of what happened 2 weeks ago to put me back in my proper place. I need to be strong. I need to be brave. I need to calm down. 

Friday, August 12, 2022


Tonight was the finale of the long-running teleserye Ang Probinsyano. I was not really a regular viewer but an intermittent one, watched the big episodes! Anyway. I've always been fascinated with this show's success and how people are so into it. My nephew was just 7 years old when this started. I remember the show that Ang Probinsyano replaced was the teleserye about the angel Nathaniel which was his favorite too. He watched the finale on YouTube while live commenting with his friends on Discord. They were making fun of it like how teens do but still fascinating how the show is a time capsule of sort. So long Cardo, what a Pinop Pop Culture icon

Thursday, August 11, 2022


 Last time I did something for myself something awful followed. It is a coincidence my mind says and yet I felt like I was punished and was reminded of how things are. It took me a few more weeks to do it again just because I was scared irrational it may seem. I did it again because there is a need for it actually. But please nothing bad next . 

Wednesday, August 10, 2022


 So a college classmate's daughter is about to enter her first year in college now!!! Granted, she had her early but still, nothing could make you feel so older but knowing that fact of life! My nephew is entering Grade 9 too as well. Time flies. I won't get sick of saying that. Sometimes, you just don't know notice how things have changed until there's something that will shake your system like finding out people my age can have college-bound children now!

Tuesday, August 09, 2022



Live newsroom production back in college!  Looking back, very proud of my group, some of the news items we covered were hardcore for third-year college students! Good thing I was a writer here so no TV on-cam participation. I remember holding the manila paper of the script! How old school hahah! Oh well, I stumbled upon this video uploaded by my classmate who edited this project. It's nice to travel back in time when school stuff like this were my only source of stress!!!!

Monday, August 08, 2022


It's getting tricky to plan some things because there's always fear at the back of my head of a nightmare coming back. I easily get scared now and not just me. Yesterday's outburst post was due to that actually. While things got ok as it usually does but the effect still lingers. Oh Dear Lord, please let my fears not happpen. 

Sunday, August 07, 2022


 Always on the receiving end of stressful situations. I want to shout and say I'm suffering so much internally already so I don't need the negativity right now. That's the last thing I need now. If you really care about other people's welfare what about thinking about what other people are feeling while you have your meltdown and blame someone who did nothing but make personal sacrifices for all your convenience? I would if I can but I know better that unlike on TV, people baring their heart out does not really lead to quick solutions.  It does not lead to realizations but instead will be taken out of context to put it against you. I don't deserve to be treated this way and maybe someday you will realize the things you have done to me and how broken I am for so long. I made my peace with it and tried not to blame others for my own frustrations but moments like this make it so difficult 

Saturday, August 06, 2022


 It's so challenging to balance my work things and family matters. Like after I did errands, I was dead set to focus on finishing up this dubbing script and things were going well but some tension happened that I needed to sort out. It's so difficult to deal with this, what should I do first? It ruins my momentum too. But well I have no choice but to fix things and pacify everything.  But I reminded myself where we were a week ago to put things in perspective. I'm spent but still at least it's not the worst case scenario, I need to remind myself whenever things like this happen. 

Friday, August 05, 2022


So far handling juggling so multiple work things good. Still on track. Hopefully, I can finish this one dubbing script tomorrow, a day before its deadline. If there are no distractions or I don't get lazy I think I can do it! I also have dubbing scripts to check too which I'm aiming to do on Sunday. I was glad to know the one person I was training had good feedback for her first script that was dubbed this week. She's a new graduate who is the niece of one of the admins. She's an honor student and it showed actually. Hard worker and does things on time. I do hope the way I trained her online also helped! I did want to be a teacher before especially for college and maybe I still can someday but currently, I don't have the drive nor the money to take a Master's Degree. But who knows someday, not closing doors.

Thursday, August 04, 2022


I began working on this Christmas movie dubbing script and it gave me the holiday vibe already! I really hope and pray our holidays this year will be festive and stress-free! It's so me that I always think what could go wrong immediately after thinking of something happy.  Anyway, this dubbing script is not yet due anytime soon and I have other scripts that I needed to finish first but I decided to work on this already, at least have a start because I think it will boost my mood. Anyway, I plan to do a few minutes each night or two.