Today there was thread on the Google Classroom of my writing workshop where we were ask to introduce ourselves and state our goals why we signed for the workshop and just like back in my student days, I was the first one to raise my hand and posted away. Last I checked the responses was just 6 and I am the oldest at 33! It made me conscious to be honest but hey learning has no age limit! But it does kinda reflect how I am so late in so many things. No point pondering about these useless things anymore but I can't help it. Carry on, that's all I can do.
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Saturday, May 15, 2021
My Storywriting Basics: Story Design online workshop started today with the lectures and writing exercises now uploaded on Google Classroom. The administrator also contacted to schedule a 30-minute live session and my preference of just phone call and not video call was accommodated too. What I read so far is very detailed and educational but I have to admit I have trouble concentrating but hey I remind myself I paid for this (plus a friend helped out) so I need to persevere to make it all worth it.
Friday, May 14, 2021
My family finally received that financial aid from the government aka ayuda. We will use it to buy groceries and pay the water bill for this month. My parents are really happy about it, they've been waiting for so long. I have mixed feelings. This is very needed of course in a time like this but I'm not really comfortable with the way people have been reacting based on what I read on the mayor's FB page. Some feel too entitled, some are too judgmental, some are too accusatory, some are totally twisting this to favor a political flavor and most of all I feel a lot of sadness behind this. There's something off even if ultimately this is a good thing.
Thursday, May 13, 2021
So annoying that the past three days our Internet is so slow. My other family members can do their video streaming and zoom stuff but on my end it takes longer than usual. It's so frustrating but good thing our Internet is just prepaid and on an affordable because if this is postpaid and we get this kind of service while paying a high monthly fee it will be so stressful. I was a postpaid Internet user via Smart Bro canopy and the earlier years but turned crap when they merged it to PLDT Home Bro and I had a stressful time with customer service even until the disconnection request! I really got traumatized since then, I hate dealing with CSR and template replies!
I really hate having third world Internet!
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
I'm currently being challenged financially yet again. I hate that I feel a little resentful that I'm getting the lion's share of the burden but I need to be the one to understand everyone's situation. I hate that I feel I'm being tricked. Perhaps that thought is something of an excuse I made because I'm so frustrated. I wish my financial situation was better so I won't feel bad for feeling this way. Still, I just think that in the grand scheme of things this is not that big of a problem and I'm just stressing myself out for something that is manageable anyway. I just need to tighten my belt even further and be more patient. Also, I better control myself so it won't show that I feel a little resentful because I know I'm in the wrong here. I don't want to ignite anything that would just add more to my anxiety. Hey, that's why I write it even if I do vaguely because it helps process what I feel and feel a little better. Or as better as one I could hope for.
Tuesday, May 11, 2021
There was an incident today that's annoying but also worrying at the same time. I'm not sure if there's a truth with this person was claiming or just a case of being absent-minded. It's been a recurring incident over the years though and I'm worried if there's a bigger implication in the future. It is me again thinking the worst case scenario yet again but I can't help it. Oh dear Lord please don't let my fears happen.
Monday, May 10, 2021
I've been helping my nephew with his modules because his computer broke down and is currently getting fixed but it will take a while because there's a major replacement needed and my sister is still looking for an affordable replacement. I've been downloading his modules and uploading them on their school's site. He does the modules on his phone, it's quite amazing how can he do it via MS Word app. I can never do that, I need a keyboard! Just two weeks left for this strange school year which even my nephew says doesn't feel like real school. I hope next school year he can finally return to school safely of course. This module mode is not working out in actually educating today's students. Just not effective.
Sunday, May 09, 2021
My nanay's Mother's Day was special because she had a surprise visit from her older sister after a year of not seeing each other! I definitely felt my mother's happiness to see her sister again. My auntie just decided out of the blue to visit because she and my cousin went to a place that's a littler near our town. They really had a long chat today and I'm very please to see how she's in a good mood afterwards.
Saturday, May 08, 2021
It's so hot today! It's almost 12AM as I type this and it's so uncomfortable with this humid! The weather is also one of the reasons I like working at the office with the cold aircon! Anyway, tomorrow is Mother's Day. Second one in quarantine. Nanay just wants pancit and of course we will buy one. But I do miss the times we used to go out even just in the fast food to eat out. I hope next year will be better!
My nephew's PC broke down and it's tricky to have it fixed due to the pandemic. Thankfully he can do his school stuff on his phone. Good thing he's so used to do this. I can't do typing stuff on phone! I need a keyboard! His school year ends later this month and he can't wait for it. He said to me he didn't like zoom school especially his Math class where he is not satisfied how it is being taught! I feel for him because math is better understood with a good teacher in person. I hope next school year will be better.
Elections a year from now. I'm so nervous but trying to remain hopeful things can change. It must change please.
Friday, May 07, 2021
Thursday, May 06, 2021
So yeah today I made the payment for an online writing workshop which I registered like two weeks ago but I only had the money just today to pay for it. I had to save up money for it but big thanks to a friend who also helped out after he read it here. His nice gesture was actually the driving force for me to push through. Truth be told, I don't receive this act of kindness often so I'm deeply touched. Thank you JP!
Wednesday, May 05, 2021
It's been a year since ABS-CBN free TV and radio operations were shutdown. I spent the day reading stories about that fateful day as past and present employees process their emotions then and now. The report TV Patrol had earlier left me with goosebumps. While they're down they continue to fight. I'm glad they still exist in various platforms. They are scattered with pieces of what they used to be. Not as wide as they used to be but at least they're not totally out of the picture. I can't wait for the day when they can be whole again. A vindication.
Tuesday, May 04, 2021
Monday, May 03, 2021
Another night where I feel sentimental which ended up me enveloped in sadness. What's the reason? To be honest nothing in particular but more of a collective feeling from my various issues in life. A mix of personal drama and frustrations in society. I feel so incomplete. I have so many regrets. I'm trying to repress my frustrations because I can't do anything about it right now. There is always something in my life that will remind of what I don't have, of what I can't do, on how far I'm behind. It's so hard to catch up.
Sunday, May 02, 2021
Saturday, May 01, 2021
So there's a cause of concern today and I really hope and pray the worst fears will not come to fruition. I got panicky and lashed out a little which I later on regretted and immediately made up for it. It really is quite hard for me to deal with stress sometimes because my mind automatically goes to the worst case scenario. I wish I would stop because it is really stunting my growth. Especially now as an adult I need to be more calm and patient. Or at least do a better job hiding my fear.
Oh my Dear Lord please protect him for any immediate danger.