3am

 I had a dream about a thing I procrastinated on and I woke up at 3AM and I took it as a sign that I needed to make up for lost time so I did that thing I was supposed to start on earlier but got lazy to do it and instead, I wasted my free time on frivolities. Finished it and ready for the week ahead, I really hope I can be productive again!

Scattered

Lent break is almost over now. It's just not the same anymore but not gonna lie I'm okay with it not as boring as it was before but still do make it a point to pray especially for my family where my life has revolved lately. I do lose it sometimes because of stress. But of course whatever is happening I'm okay, that we were able to survive together. 

Sound

 I feel okay today. Generally fine. Although there's something per usual hanging that I chose to delay doing. Laziness strikes again. Hopefully, tomorrow I get into the groove as the song says!

Break

 As a child, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Black Saturday were really borefest.  But this got me into reading actually to not get bored. I read everything I could find sa bahay, old newspapers, magazines, textbooks of my siblings. I read Bata Bata Pano Ka Ginawa because my sister reviewed it for a college class. I even read her Tagalog romance pocketbooks too! There was a year when ABS-CBN showed classic Filipino movies, it was my first to watching Insiang, Himala, Oro Plata Mata among others. Then later on I got hooked on watching the 7th Heaven marathon on Studio 23 which basically got me into US TV shows. Nowadays is just different. 

GB1

Greenbelt 1 is closing for a major renovation (it will be demolished I heard).  So I guess that was a major reason why the NBS branch here closed last year. The last day is on March 31, Easter Sunday. So before I went home today, I dropped by just to see it for the last time in its 'original form'. I've always liked this mall, from my OJT days when it was just walking distance until I started working. I also like watching movies here because of the cheaper ticket price. When this mall reopens years from now, the redesign will probably be good but I will miss the current "old-school" vibe which it will likely lose.

Inquire

 Something from the past made me think again.  I am concerned that their era is ending soon or shifting fully to what is now but I really want to see my presence before it goes away so I have this desire to try to get a spot. I'm thinking of a plan but not sure if I have the guts to do it. Then there goes the insecurity as well so I don't know. But it did lit up a fuse inside of me. I miss that feeling. 

Breads

 I had a mini meltdown when I arrived home because the heat just increased my exhaustion. But I mostly kept it to myself because I didn't want to stir drama. Now, that I've cooled down I'm glad I didn't have a public meltdown or what because mostly everybody here is in a good mood, so why ruin it right?  I feel okay now too. Just tired really. I'll just recharge. 

40 minutes

 The bad thing when you know some stuff is that you get too complacent. Oh boy, this is getting habitual already. I need to find a way to combat those things holding me back from what I need to finish. It's all me though.

Age

So there's this thing online about Gen Z looking older than millennials.  Maybe just a western thing because here in the country, Gen Z in general looks their age and some even younger. But I do see a lot of people in my age (mid to late 30s) that do really look younger. I wish I could say  the same, my baldness made me look older than I should earlier on plus all the stress I've faced in my 30s but all is good though. It's fine, I've long accepted that physical appearance will never be my edge. 

Fifth

 

I have the first four Young Blood compilations then I stopped (maybe because subconsciously I knew back then I would never get published here so I guess I was bitter hahaha!). So years passed and when I decided to get back to reading again, I couldn't find a copy of Young Blood 5 until today at the National Book Store in Glorietta. I just randomly visited NBS today before going home with no plans of buying anything because I haven't finished reading the book I bought recently (Patricia Evangelisa's Some People Need Killing which is a great book but a heavy read) but of course, I can't just pass up not buying this because I thought this could be out of print already like the earlier compilations. This one had a Powerbooks pricetag on it so this was probably stuck in some warehouse for a while. The personal essay compilation is my favorite type of book to read, I just love being immersed in other people's worlds while I relate to and learn from them too.

Inconsistent

My messy handling of this is coming to bite me now. I did bit more than I can chew so here I am. But I also struggled because of my own complacency so now I need to fix it before the thing gets even bigger. I need to get rid of distractions which I use an as excuse to take a break. The distraction did nothing but waste precious time. No more. I need to be more focused before I lose everything I've worked so hard for. There's no room for mistakes again. 

Bits and Pieces

 After going hard yesterday, slowed down a bit today. Hopefully, will be more active so I can get more things done! Still hoping for some more amazing stuff even if my plate is quite full. I just need more, to feel secure and I think I excel better when there's a long list to finish up. 

Is there anyone here?!!

 This thing I'm doing is a bit repetitive and overwhelming but it does draw me in sometimes then there's stuff that makes me question it too. But well, I should not let other thoughts creep in and just be objective. Anyway, I need to finish this so my other thing won't be scrutinized! I already feel that the other thing got screwed up because of some odd behavior although overall it still good in general and deserving but I just don't want things to get messy. 

00:42

I still miss doing my old job as a channel coordinator. Grateful that I'm still very busy with my dubbing-related work but I did the same job for nearly a decade so it's still a strange feeling. Our recent Digital Cable TV upgrade made me miss it more. It was a sense of pride and now it's gone.

Mindles

Some things are just so addictive even if it's not that good for you, you can't help but be drawn on it! Good it's not really that big of a deal but still it's affecting somehow. Maybe if I don't try, I could make it work better.

59

 Failed again. Let's see tomorrow if I could make it work!  I really let myself get distracted oh well! Tomorrow let's make it work!

Notes

 Another challenging weekend ahead, I really hope I can pull this off!  I need to fix some things as well next week so I won't get into trouble. I need to write it down again. So I can be more organized and not be complacement anymore. Wish me luck!

Digital

 We have our cable upgraded to Digital today. Well it was forced because they shut down analog! Oh, well I do love it, especially the HD channels. But I do miss my old cable channel!Oh well!

Catch Up

 Another mixed bag of a day. I need to get my act together, my mind knows that but I can't see to fully do what I intend to do. Why is it so hard to focus?!! I wanted to do something that I used to do that aids my focus but tonight was another reminder why I can do it again but it's for good reason so it's all on me to manage everything better.

MC

 I messed up something. My fault because of my chaotic way of handling things. I knew it would eventually happen because the way I handle those stuff and took in more than I can deal with. But thankfully still on the grander scale of errors but still it serves as a lesson that I need to get my act together.

Back

 I'm back into nostalgia mode and this song takes me back! First heard it on radio on 99.5 RT to be exact and I really liked it. And it's cool to find that this was uploaded on YouTube when it was released in 2007, such a different time on YouTube on those days!

Break

 Another busy work week ahead, may I survive it! That's why I chose to do nothing today to free my mind because next week will be hectic again!

4 Years

I haven't thought of the pandemic in awhile but it will be 4 years since our lives have changed. I'm glad it's been practically back to normal now. I don't wish to experience the same thing ever again but it was definitely a learning experience. The fact I'm doing this is a result of that. I dealt with anxiety through my ramblings here and it has helped a lot 

Markings

 Alright, glad I was able to finish some of the things I need to check off my list. Still have some things I need to finish but nothing immediate but hoping to keep this momentum up because now more than ever that I needed to be productive. 

Lessened

 Some more good news today which really made me happy although my paranoid self peaked to say, is there a catch? But nope, not gonna let that bad energy dampen the good news today. Thank you Lord so much!

21

 It's been quite a struggle to finish something because I'm feeling a little off and also it's kinda a boring thing to do but I NEED to finish it so I could free up sometime to do something else. It's not easy but then something happened that reminded why I need to strive hard. Hopefully, I could be meet my target tomorrow. 

Hoping

 That time again when I really don't want to be complacent and always expecting the worst. But I really hope and pray for favorable results. I'm always scared but I try to avoid thinking negatively by making self busy but those bits of anxiety always creeps in

Maintain

Already a lot of things I need to do this week again, actually the next 2 weeks or so. It's good and hoping for more because we need it! But always grateful for having the current things to do. I always want to be busy and last week I did well and hoping to keep that momentum

3 hours

 I had a good afternoon nap today. I really worked hard this week just to make a lot of my to do list checked off! Glad I was able to accomplish that, cheers to more next week!

Missing

 I can't really focus on something, there will always be a distraction [SIGHS]. It's really hard but I also fault myself for not really learning from previous stuff and continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again. Anyway, back to trying to focus again!

¡muchas gracias!

And TeleNovela Channel has reached its end. When the clock turned 12 AM, I gave a small applause on my desk facing my laptop. I am proud of what we've accomplished here.