Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Explore

 Today is a holiday but I'm in the office by choice because I do like working in the office with the aircon and all! And I like the commute as well because are fewer people around. In a way it relaxes me and soothes my anxiety and dare I say, I'm more productive as well? Anyway, this dubbing script I'm working is really quite a good show, a business drama that could easily bore me but it didn't and made me learn about the culture of the country where the show is set. That's what I like about what I do, I get to watch TV/movies while earning money! It's not a career that would make me rich but I'm at this point of my life where I'm not that ambitious as long as I have decent stability wit less stress possible. Definitely not something that would take me to greater heights but I'm totally okay with it, 

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

A Visit

 There were some foreigner clients who visited the office and I found they were from the demo project I wrote the dubbing script for over a month ago. I really liked that demo project and crossing my fingers we would get this project! It's nearing December and glad we already secured some projects already ahead of the new year. I'm still hoping we would get another new project soon from this other client I really like. We started 2022 jampacked with projects with limited personnel but somehow we managed to pull it off so I'm really we can secure more projects now too as we welcome the new year! I really hope that visit will actually pave the way to scoring that project!

Monday, November 28, 2022

Repeat

 I just wish for a life of fewer complications but I know I will never get it. I'm so befuddled about how something that can be ignored can create a bigger mess. Isn't life hard enough as it is? Why do we feel compelled to add more to the stress and anxiety we are feeling? While I still go on and still make things work internally I'm just giving up. This exhausting feeling I've manifested in other facets of my life. There are just things that will not happen to me no matter what and now I admit it because of personal choice. While other elements are a factor but ultimately it is my choice to devote my life to this kind of living. I really just want to sit in the corner and mind my business but I know it's not in my nature, I always do something to make things OK for them and me in a way as well. But honestly just freaking tired that it keeps on happening and utterly hopeless. 

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Cycle

Once again I just feel tired. Once again I hate feeling this way. Once again I hate that this is how I react whenever this happens. Once again I feel so helpless. Once again I'm skeptical why this just keeps happening. Once again I want to be in denial. Once again I'm hopeless. 

Saturday, November 26, 2022

Again

Getting closer again to that routinary thing that somehow still keeps me - us - nervous. I really hope and pray nothing alarming will come out of it. But I dunno I've been training myself to deal with not favorable results. It could be a defense mechanism of some sort but God please let it be something that we would be worried about. 

Friday, November 25, 2022

Observe

 So I made a choice earlier which was based on a hinch and it seems that it worked. But of course, it won't be the case every day but I do like to see things out and test if my hunch is correct. But always calculated risk or close to that where I don't make big risks, just something that there's a minimal effect, well hopefully it is. I know it does not work all the time but sometimes there are just things when you feel so something strongly about.

Thursday, November 24, 2022

A trip

The Christmas movie I translated is now streaming on Netflix! It's THE NOEL DIARY. It is based on a book and it's not the usual Christmas romcom because it has a more dramatic tone but is still light to watch. I enjoyed translating it so much especially the love declaration toward the end, whew!  Kinda fitting that I translated a movie with a diary in the center of the story with what I've been doing here every single day for the past few years which has been really helpful to keep me sane!

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Contigo

 So happy to know that the two projects I've been waiting for have finally arrived. I know they were coming but I was getting a little antsy that they haven't arrived yet because time is essential and we could on work everything needed already before it gets caught in the middle of the holiday season! But anyway glad that these two projects are setting us up for next year as well. I've also been anticipating additional projects for this other client we have, a client which really to be honest made me so excited to work this year more than anything! So hopefully they are indeed coming soon, maybe this week? Yes, please

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Stay

I've been feeling bad a lot lately I neglected how other people near me are feeling bad as well. One is enveloped by feat and sometimes we lost patience over it which is unfair because this is something beyond our control. It's the stress and anxiety talking. The thing is I can't seem to control myself from panicking and having mini meltdowns. The other is quite trapped. And last night was a testament to that but there is just a tricky situation and we need to cater to a need. It's so hard to be in the middle of things. But a scenario that could put an end to things is more depressing so  NO. We have to deal with all the complications and just pray things will find itself to a better position.

Monday, November 21, 2022

MMK

 MMK is ending after 31 years on the air. To be honest, I haven't watched it in a long time but to know that an iconic show is ending is just sad for sentimental reasons. Probably still an effect of the network not having a franchise anymore so funds aren't there or maybe just changing times and viewer preferences. I dunno but I feel a different kind of sadness knowing this show is ending. Maybe what I'm feeling is more than that and just connecting this show's fate to something else. 

Sunday, November 20, 2022

A Dream

 I may be overthinking but can't help but feel that it is a sign of what's gonna happen. I don't know what to feel anymore. Half trying to accept it and half in denial. I really hope I'm just my usual paranoid self and there's really nothing bad that's coming. NO.

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Pace

 Finishing what I delayed yesterday. To be honest, If I didn't get lazy all of a sudden yesterday I could have finished it so easily but I don't know what's up with me yesterday and even earlier today that I didn't have the drive to finish but now that I'm doing it, I was really in a good flow that I was able to do it quicker than usual. Maybe I need that down time to reboot?  I dunno but glad I didn't have to rush this off

Friday, November 18, 2022

Chill

 After three days of really hardcore working, I had a  "lighter" day. Well, I was supposed to do something today that can help unload some of the things I need to do but I dunno I got distracted by other things or maybe I did really need to have some break to recharge and I will get on hard core work mode again especially with all the things I need to finish next week . But hey carry on

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Jinx

 It's hard not to feel that sometimes I feel forces are against me and the things that I try to avoid will still keep coming back to haunt me. Maybe I had this coming for being a coward for trying to escape -even temporarily- It consistently happens but I never learn.  But I want to give myself credit because I always give my all even if the stress sometimes sneaks in. But there are times I just feel like I need some space away from it all, it's not even fully disengaging, just a short reprieve. Maybe I don't deserve a break? 

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Tender

 So finished one of the toughest dubbing scripts I ever did! But it was quite fulfilling because I really poured all my focus to finish it well! I'm quite confident with my work here! I still have a couple of scripts to work on but every time I finish something off my list I just get more motivated to do more! It sounds funny for some I guess but really this work has help me relax with all the anxieties I've been dealing with lately/  This year has been good and hopefully next year will be even better 

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

React

Trying my best to be calm when there's so much to worry about. Or maybe I just make things bigger than it really is.  Taking things one day at a time. That's all I can do at this point so I can stay sane because I can't be the one making things more difficult than it already is.

Monday, November 14, 2022

Inhale

Taking a time off . Partly because of necessity but also I need to step back a little from all the anxiety. I feel guilty it's like I'm giving up but I swear it isn't despite feeling exhausted lately. I just need a breather to focus on something urgent but also to recharge so I can face the challenges with a clearer mind. I just hope and pray nothing bad happens in this short time. Please no.

Sunday, November 13, 2022

Bumpy

 Just as when I thought the day is okay, some unnecessary hassle got in the way. Small stuff to be honest but I'm so overwhelmed with everything in my life now that even a slight bump can give me a mountain of anxiety and exhaustion. But now I've calmed down a little I feel so awful to feel this way yet again. It's a cycle. I don't know how to control it from not happening again. 

Saturday, November 12, 2022

Trouble Within

 It's hard to concentrate when I can't shake this feeling off my system. I know I need to be grateful because it could have been worst but no matter how hard I try I just can't suppress this feeling of despair. How I wish the situation was different, how I wish we were in a better position. It's selfish but I wish I was able to maximize life and enjoy it right now but every moment when I feel a tinge of joy, I'm quickly reminded things could still get worse. I want to look forward to something, to feel excitement again but that feeling that anything bad could happen keeps me in check all the time. I wish to be free of this feeling and yet I know deep inside that being freed from this internal prison comes with a price I don't want to happen. It's hard to feel that because no matter what, there's simply nothing I can do no matter how hard to try to change everything. It's an ugly feeling I wish I can just erase from existence. 

Friday, November 11, 2022

Lagundi

Another manifestation of the current problem. I tried my best to be as calm and understanding but it's really difficult not to be overwhelmed with all the stuff being thrown at us. It's neverending. There's no sense of clarity on the horizon. I'm frustrated and devastated. I'm losing my mind at times because I feel so hopeless. It's not the worst-case scenario yet but the signs are there. The other possible solution will bring despair as well. We can't find a winning option.

Thursday, November 10, 2022

Question

When I heard this question earlier it feels like a confirmation of what I've been worrying about. I tried my best to sound calm and not too dismissive but it bothered me so much. I feel like giving up again but of course, I won't. But just the thought of dealing with this possible nightmare is eating me inside. Once again praying hard that what I'm thinking is not true. Please Lord hear our prayer.

Wednesday, November 09, 2022

Nun!

 So excited that the Filipino-dubbed for Warrior Nun Season 1 is now streaming! Season 2 comes out tomorrow and hopefully that Filipino dubbed for it will be out at the same time as well. This is a show that I've seen for the first time due to work but definitely became a favorite. Season 2 is even more fantastic! I hope it gets renewed for season 3 and not just because its our project but I really want to see more of this show

Tuesday, November 08, 2022

Suki

 You have no idea how happy I was when the Mercury Drug branch near yus finally replied to my text that my father's Suki card (which I have been using for the last 2 years) was indeed at their branch and I carelessly left it there. I know it can be replaced it but the lesser hassle is actually finding it! I have over 300 points there already!

Monday, November 07, 2022

Liwayway


 Maligayang Isang Daan Taon sa Liwayway Magazine!

Bumibili dati nanay ko nito at palagi kong binabasa mga maikiling kwento at syempre ang komiks! Matagal ng nawala ang mga komiks, songhits at magasin na kinalakihan ko kaya nakakatuwa na meron isa na tumagal at lumalaban pa din na manatili sa modernong panahon. Nabasa ko sa FB page nila na mabibili na ang Liwayway sa Shopee at Lazada! Mabuti naman dahil gusto kong makabili na landmark issue na 'to dahil mahirap na rin makahanap ng nagtitinda nito (o kahit anong magasin na meron pa rin) sa panahon ngayon.

Sunday, November 06, 2022

Revisit

 It was good to take a visit to a place where I had so much fun even if it was just temporarily. I could have done some advanced work this weekend but since nothing was immediately due so I decided why not take a break this weekend and do something that's just for leisure! I do deserve it. I need to recharge to gear up for work ahead and I do hope we can get some new projects I've been hoping for! 

Saturday, November 05, 2022

Afar

I feel a little jaded lately but always trying to keep things going and live one day at a time. Right now I feel there's a win here but who knows what will happen the next days. Always hoping for good days. Please let us have many of those.

Friday, November 04, 2022

Scratch

 So yeah I'm beginning to worry about another thing. Trying to tell myself that this should not be a big cause of concern but one thing I've learned with the events of the past 2 years is that don't really take things lightly. But as always with my anxieties, always hoping and praying my worst fearts are not gonna happen. Please.

Thursday, November 03, 2022

Met

Pretty satisfied that I was able to attain my goal today and finish everything earlier than expected too. Now, I have some free time to do other stuff but choosing, for now, to take a breather before I take on more stuff again tomorrow or maybe even tonight. All the stress and anxiety disappear each time I focus my attention to things I need to get done now. 

Wednesday, November 02, 2022

Takeaway

I  just watching something that made me reflect on some things in life, on how some other people, or no maybe us in general can be victims of our own doing. Like what we think is we are doing something special, something noble but on the other side we could be ignoring some serious red flags as well because we could be blinded of thinking this is for the greater good. It's both frustrating and depressing to be quite honest!

Tuesday, November 01, 2022

Spinners

 I finished writing the dubbing script for this upcoming romcom movie and boy I really had fun. Of course there are cliches and staples but love translating those words! I think this movie will come out Valentines 2023! So can't wait for that! Back to the office tomorrow and I really have a lot of things to do but this kind of work fuels me! Also hoping for upcoming dubbing projects I've been hoping for to finally be greenlighted this week!