Wednesday, May 31, 2023

Yee How

Just finished writing the Filipino dubbing script of an upcoming animated movie. It's so fun to do, one of the most relaxing scripts I've ever done even if it's longer than the usual stuff I do (over 80 minutes) so frankly I had a smooth time writing thing once I got things going on! My writing queue is easing up, which is nice in a way for a breather but I want more projects to come in! I still have 3 left to do but they don't have tight deadlines yet I want to stock up on writing projects again so hopefully new projects will pour in.   Please, Lord!

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Patience

 Yesterday was all stressful but today was okay. So yeah while these things always happen and it will still happen. It passes. I'm glad about that. I'm thankful. It's still not the worst-case scenario on my mind. It will happen again and I'll be tormented inside but still I need to get myself together and not give up. 

Monday, May 29, 2023

Endless

 When things like this happen, I once again do the adjustments because their mood swings and pride are above anything so I'm the one again pacifying things, trying to prevent things from escalating further. God give me the strength so I can continue to carry on because I can't give up. 

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Prime!

 Watched the final episode of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel on Prime Video. Rachel Brosnahan killed it in the series finale. Alex Borstein was so great too. I'm gonna watch Jury Duty next since I've been reading a lot of good buzz on it. I will also check out a local show Cattleya Killer which Prime Video bought. It looks good! I only subscribed for a month so I gotta make 149 worth it! I do hope we get a project with them soon! I would love to write dubbing script for one of their shows.

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Nay

 Today is Nanay's 66th birthday. I always pray to God that she's always safe and healthy, especially after the last three years. Nanay had a simple day but she had fun which is what matters. Thank you LoRD

Friday, May 26, 2023

Work It

 Handed in the dubbing script of the finale episode of a telenovela we worked for half a year! This was the third finale script I've written in the last 2 weeks plus a penultimate episode with one long revelation scene with heavy dialogue! So happy to be able to do them all. I have a dubbing script to work for an upcoming animated movie. It's a personal fave so it's gonna be fun to translate it to Filipino! I have at least 3 in the queue to write for next month but I want MORE. Hopefully, we get more projects soon too. I want to be so busy!

Thursday, May 25, 2023

On Repeat

 Here it goes again. Same thing again. The instability never changes. Everything so fragile and repetitive. I can't express disappointment because well I don't want to rock a boat. Life is not TV show where you speak your mind, and all things are resolved. That isn't the case. And I don't want another stressor in my already stressed mindset, I just want to be numb and not care about it anymore.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Maybe

And the questioning begins. The second-guessing begins. Why did I ever have to be the one in charge? I hate to be the one to make the call but I was pushed to be on the center yet again. I have to be strong. I have to be firm. But I'm so scared. The pressure. The fear. The anxiety.

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Risk

So there it is. I made a call. I have my justifications but seriously worried that I could have gotten it wrong. I hope I didn't. I just thought about what could ultimately be beneficial to those around me. I just want them to be happy.

Monday, May 22, 2023

Present

 I don't know how to face everything. The one I have in mind might not be the right thing to do strictly speaking but my gut feel says otherwise. But I'm questioning myself if I'm doing it for my convenience - to protect myself.  But what I've gone through the past years, I learned a lot on how to deal with this. Sometimes you need to trust what your gut says. But I'm afraid it could be a mistake. Oh dear Lord please help me. Guide me.

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Spiral

There's nothing like what you are fearing happening or at least signs point to it happening to break me. I'm still holding on but barely. I am panicking inside but appear to be calm outside. It's so terrifying, I don't know how to function anymore. 

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Worry

 And here it is again. So scared again. I don't know if I can function well anymore. But I have to collect myself and be strong. It's very hard to act normal when there's something pinching your heart. You can't deny it anymore. 

Friday, May 19, 2023

Tom

I am distracting myself from my usual doom-and-gloom thoughts. It lasted for a few hours and I'm now back reveling in those thoughts. Not easy but really hoping and praying for the best.

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Escalating

 That time again when my worries are haunting me again. Nervewracking. I really hope and pray things will turn out well. I'm trying to be hopeful but I'm always anxious, I can't help it. 

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Did

 It's crazy to think sometimes how you want something and yet when it happened, it feels disappointing. There's a feeling of guilt too. And remorse that you should have trusted your other instinct but that insatiable curiosity won over. In a way maybe it's a good thing that it finally happened so you can fully understand what is it and maybe not want it anymore. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

From the start

 Here I go again, enveloped in fear. It is nearing again and the negative thinking is in full sail. Oh Dear Lord, you know what I fear the most. Please I hope what I'm thinking right now is not happening. But if it is unavoidable, give me the strength not to breakdown completely because I can't be the way, I just can't

Monday, May 15, 2023

Some

Partial stress lifted. It's not really supposedly stressful but this is me, making things bigger than it should be, stressing myself out on my own doing. But tomorrow once I get that thing done, I'll be even better. It's a cycle, but it is what it is.

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Sleeve

 I'm sad. All the things I've been bothering the past few weeks or so are something that most other people don't really find problematic. It's just me. I'm a weak person who found himself in a position where I need to be the stronger one. It has been this way for the past few years. I don't know I ended up this way. I ultimately have no choice in the end. I'm trapped. While I really don't regret anything because I know in the grand scheme of things, it has helped me and the people around me. But in times like this, I'm just overwhelmed with life that I can't help but wish I am somewhere else. Free with no worries not just for me but my loved ones. I wish I had the chance and position to give security to others so I can just do things my way. But it's not the case. I accept it and will bravely face each day because I always think it's not the worst-case scenario, right? I always need to keep myself in check because I don't want to manifest something bad where i feel guilty in the end. But it's just hard when you are being challenged. It's hard not not to feel like  I'm being suffocated and yet I feel immense guilt for feeling this way. It's such a conflicting feeling that so hard to handle. I'm writing this because this is really the only way I can express. No one reads this anyway. It's a open space that no one knows so it's fine. Maybe in here I can feel free.

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Testy

 Another rough day unfolding.  From the moment I woke up, already annoyed. When I tried to take an afternoon nap, got interrupted too. There are just so many things annoying me. Trying to keep it cool really. And then I got reminded of what could be a worst-case scenario that has been bugging me for years now. I don't know really. It's so hard to be happy.

Friday, May 12, 2023

RB

 I've been so stressed this week, some because of my own doing due to impulsiveness and some because of things not under my control. Somehow made some wrong options this week but hey I gotta learn from it and hopefully next week I'm on better form. Despite that, I was still able to do some things although I could have done so much better if I didn't let myself be overwhelmed. But still, I remind myself that relatively it's still okay so I just need to put things in perspective.

Thursday, May 11, 2023

Carry

I'm tired of getting dragged on other matters I should not be involved with anymore. I already deal with so much why pile something on me again? Can you leave me out of it? I worry a lot already, I'm drowning with it, just fighting each day to be fine.

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Step back

I've been busy so I haven't check this particular interest of mine but moments ago, I've checked it and well it was quite toxic and I don't have the  mindset to deal with the unnecessary annoyance so I'm stepping back from it and focus on things that I will benefit from

Tuesday, May 09, 2023

Advanced

So finished some tasks early on so I can focus on other stuff pending for the next few days. I hope I can maintain the right focus to meet my goal. There are challenges ahead but you see I've been feeling so off lately that somehow the stuff I need to finish helps me keep it together. 

Monday, May 08, 2023

Lights Out

So there was a brownout at the office building today and when it lasted over an hour we were sent home early because nothing could be done anyway and the heat was so exhausting. It's a bummer because there's a lot of things to do. I had to go down the stairs from the 20th floor because the generator can only power one elevator and it was always full. My leg is sore now! Oh well, not so good start of the work week!

Sunday, May 07, 2023

Zapped Out

It's not even noon and I just feel tired already. Not just in the physical sense. Just everything. Overall well-being.  An inconspicuous wall. A burden of guilt. A lifetime of loneliness. Today's challenge is yet again pulling myself out of this hole I'm in again. 

Saturday, May 06, 2023

Annoyed

 I get easily annoyed lately but this is maybe because of some underlying stress that I couldn't really blurt out so I will try my best to get myself together so it won't escalate to bigger issues thankfully I managed to avert a potentially bigger stress inducer. I also keep in mind how it could be much worst to keep me in check

Friday, May 05, 2023

One day

 I'm so thrilled to finish a task in a single day when it usually takes at least 3 days to finish. And I didn't really rush it too! It is possible as long as I really focus on it and it really helps that I really enjoy what I do and I get so engrossed doing it. Hopefully, it's a start of a good streak for me

Thursday, May 04, 2023

March

 One of those moments again where you realize how lonely you really are. One of the thing bugging your right now is such a non-issue to other people but because of your inadequacy you make a big deal out of it. You talk to yourself to not feel any resentment because ultimately it was the right choice because you would never be at peace anyway if you look the other way. But it's incredibly hard. At least you still manage to control things before it spins out of control. You need to collect yourself because no one else will do that for you. They're too busy thinking about their other concerns to mind you. But to be fair, they do care but unlike you they're just not as good as handling things that stress you out. You would often browse social and think why do these people seemingly have happy lives. Sure, your cynical side tells you that's just a put on but let's face it, you know there's an empty space in your heart hence you feel this way. It's okay you say to yourself. Let it out for a moment and once you have that catharsis, carry on.

Wednesday, May 03, 2023

Unfair

 Yes, what I expected was confirmed today. It sucks but come to think of it I guess it was good that we saw the true colors I guess, or maybe just accepted the red flag we saw early on. This incident just adds more pressure to me as well but I can deal with it, good thing I found a safe haven. It might not be much but it is safe. Comfort zone but with everything going on, I prefer to be in a comfort zone. Another setback, but we will rise from it. Hopefully and please Lord, some good news next please.

Tuesday, May 02, 2023

Keys!

 Nearly a year after we finished dubbing this project, so happy that the Filipino-dubbed version of Locke & Key is finally out! This a show I enjoyed and how I wish it had another season, not just because it's our project, but also because I feel like the show had more stories to tell but glad it had a final season. I wish our other project Warrior Nun had that!



Monday, May 01, 2023

Sense

So I watched this documentary on Netflix,  not a serious type, it's about a couple that was stranded in Costa Rica while on a date because of the pandemic lockdown! It was an easy watch and a little bit too good to be true but kinda heartwarming as well. The type that can make you smile and sometimes you need that, right?