Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Being a Liability

I really feel bad today because I feel like I'm not being useful to the school organization I belong to (Friends of the Library) I'm actually the vice president. It was an impropmtu thing actually. When the former officer texted me that they will now appoint new officers for the school year and she asked me if I want to be an officer I said yes. I thought that I will get lower positions like PRO or Business Manager but I was shocked when I found out that I was assigned as the Vice president. I thought of refusing to accept it but I realize that the former officers are really having a hard time to manage this org since it is sort of a mess and I don't want to be add another pain in the head to them. I accept thinking that it will be a great challenge for me and plus I'm a good leader when it comes to class presentations so I assume I could handle it. But reality check I'm a person who dislikes HASSLE and I try to avoid it. I have lots of "I can't do that" reasons. Like in our recruitment period I can't stand being alone in our booth mainly because I'm shy on facing people and I'm not a good sales person so i thought that I will do more harm if I stay around the booth, but by not staying in the booth I also do harm since prospective applicants might slip away.But what can I do, my apprehensions is ruling over me? I'm really not prepared to this thing, In highschool we don't have this kind of stuff (my former school has no clubs actually). I think it's a good thing that i did not pass the application for the school paper since I know that I couldn't do it good anyway besides that my writing style is so mediocre I know I can't handle the pressure.
But still I will not quit as being the VP for my org, I will still do my best to be an asset and not a liability.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Forg's List of Favorite Tv shows

I'm a certified a couch potato. I like watching television and my favorite channel is Studio 23 mainly because it is the home of my favorite shows. My taste varies from teenyboppers to police dramas to sitcoms to reality shows but I will narrow my list to 10

1. Gilmore Girls
2. The Amazing Race
3. Survivor
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Spongebob Squarepants
6. 24
7.America's next top model
8.Will and Grace
10. Just shoot me

and for local ones, the ones I like are mostly off the air'

1. 5 & up
2. Points of view
3. I witness
4. Probe team
5. KNN
6. Bayani
8.Hiraya Manawari
9. Y speak
10. The weakest link

Saturday, June 18, 2005


I'm a boy who cries a lot. I remember during my first day at school I cried a river when my mother left already. Although later on I was already used to be left at school but there were other reasons to ignite me to cry. When they fetch me late, I cry. When i fell on a seat i cry. When they tease me I cry.That's why I had a reputation of being sensitive at school so my classmates were so careful not to make me cry. I thought it will be good since no one will dare to harm me but as I grow i've started to realize how silly and humilating I was. Boys should not cry if you do it you show signs of weakness and will be called as Gay. I dont want that to happen so I started to be more cautious. In some situations that I felt like crying I forced not to. I want to be strong, but at home when I'm in bed and everyone is asleep I cry andI do without any sound, I don't want people to hear me cry. I'm weak I admit it. I just don't want to keep angst, frustrations and insecurities in my chest I want to let it out. Every shed of tear is equivalent to evry inch of pain I feel inside.
Now I'm 17 years old and still a crybaby. But no one sees it unlike before. I cry about anything that makes me feel bad. Whenever hear the phrase "Boys don't cry" I shudder and ask myself "Why?" Answer me...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Too Good to be True

I never thought that this will happen to my sister. It happened last Sunday on the bus way home my sister met this chinoy guy and they became instant friends he even offered her to take her home but my sister refused but they exchanged numbers. My sister felt that this guy might be the one to heal here broken heart (Her 9 year relationship ended over a year ago and I know she had hard time to move on). My mother was happy since she wants Ate to have a boyfriend so as to forget her ex. The guy started waiting for her at work to take her home and everything seems to be okay. He even gave my sister three red roses last Wednesday.My sister got smitten by this charming guy but I was suspicious I just dont trust the guy. And I was right there is something wrong about him and good thing he showed his true colors early on. It happened last night the guy borrowed the cellphone of my sister's co worker citing that he needs to text someone, the friend trusted him since he is also convince by the guy's charm and it happened..... the guy disappeared in an instant and so as my sister's hope to find new love. I just hope my sister wont lose hope that she could still fall in love...