No Changes

 It's been almost a year since I went back to the office after a 3-month work from home setup due to the virus. Time flies yet it feels so slow. It's been a year of hearing "unti unti pagbubukas ng ekonomiya"  and  yet there's no real progress. The streets of Ayala are still sad to look at. It's been almost a year of going to the office twice or thrice a week because carpool is expensive so I can't do it everyday. it's been almost a year of surviving and struggling. Almost but still not quite enough.

More Push

 So once again I didn't do something I should have done long ago: speak up about a concern. I just feel so apprehensive and afraid of rejection. I've been through a lot of those in my life that I always condition myself of losing before even finding the result is, lower expectations, lower chances of feeling bad? Not really but I still do to it myself over and over again. Okay maybe tomorrow, I'll finally do it.

Good Push

 Mother's checkup went nice today thankfully. We also got an explanation why the clinic branch near us is temporarily closed due to lack of staff and doctors as some are doing vaccination drives and some doctors (including my nanay's favorite) left. Her diseases are controlled although her sugar level was a little hight compared to three months ago but not on an alarming level yet. The doctor also gave sound advice regarding vaccination and hopefully Nanay will be convinced later on take it.

Tomorrow Too Please

 So a felt better, there's still some pinches of pain from time to time but overall all was good and no excruciating life wrecking tooth ache. Thank God! Tomorrow, I pray for favorable results too. I always get nervous and trying my best to stay positive by not dwelling too much with thoughts like this. But it always lingers,  But please Dear Lord, don't my worries happen tomorrow. 

Sting

My toothache was really a challenge today! I did some errands for the family and it was struggle to function. I drank paracetamol and there was some relief but it wouldn't last that long. I will do ponstan tor advil tomorrow if the pain still persists. I know the best option is to go to a dentist but I can't afford to do so right now. My health card has dental but on select dental clinics only and they're in NCR so accessibility is an issue too and based from an officemate our dental package does not cover all fees especially during this pandemic with added protocol-set added fees to be shouldered by the patient. So I really hope this toothache like the previous ones I had won't last long or gets more complicated. I can't right now. 

ComebACHE

 My tooth ache is back after months of not having it. The sting is punching! What's weird is that this came back a day after I talked to a friend who was waiting inside a dental click to have his tooth extraction. What kind of signal is this? 

Out of Comfort

So the routine medical test for my mother had an unexpected hurdle because her clinic is closed and won't re-open until next year due to some unexplained reasons! We were recommended to another branch nearby which was fine but their lab tests services are currently on hold for unexplained reasons again! I don't know what's happening but I'm guessing it because this clinic chain is reconstructing as their old name was dissolved and now carries the name of the bigger health care organization. But it's  hassle because my mother likes going to this clinic as she feels more comfortable and my mother being comfortable is my #1 priority. Anyway, we will do a lab test on another clinic which she is fine with tomorrow but still have her checkup and read of the lab results at the other branch of the clinic she likes. Anyway, like always I pray to God that her lab results will be not alarming. We do this every 3 months but I can't help myself from worrying but of course I hide it from her because that's the last thing she needs. 

Planet

 So today I paid our cable service at their office because as per their social media they have billing issues that  prevents paying via third party like online wallets like GCash or even Bayad Center. You can only pay through their app or website which based on the comments on their social media pages have issues too! So no choice but to go straight to their office so I can get paper receipt as well just in case! Our cable service was better channel lineup, signal and customer service before when they were just simply an independent company but since they got acquired by a bigger company the service have gone worst. Good thing we never subscribed to their internet service which is expensive but has mediocre connection based on the hundreds  of complaints on their social media page! I thought of cutting this connection too  but the monthly fee is cheap and it never changed since we subscribed to them back in 2007. Our only other pay TV option is Cignal which is appealing but they don't have certain channels we regularly watch (ANCT/Teleradyo/MYX/C1). I'll considering leaving if they force us to move to digital cable because we are still in analog SD cable system. If I'm gonna go digital might as well go for the superior service. For now, like most aspects of my life gonna frustratingly settle for mediocrity. 

Interlaced

 I made some technical errors at a work task which sucks because I had to redo everything that had an error. However, with these mistakes, I do learn more especially a lot of things I wasn't aware of before and that keeps me more alert to not make the same mistake again and I learn more. I need to be more like this and make each mistake into something more on the positive side instead of beating myself up over and over again. I gain nothing from it but additional angst which just keeps me from moving forward. Note to self: More of this, less of that

Faith

 This vlog of Nicole Hyla had me in tears! I can't imagine  going through this kind of ordeal. Same time last year, we had major health issues with Nanay and I was so scared what more a parent of a child going through a life threatening illness! This was heartbreaking to watch also inspiring that fight for your faith because it's really hard these days but when you see stories like this, it gives you hope