Coin

 It's been a week since we had the biggest scare of our lives. Nanay is doing fine at the hospital, preparing for her operation. We are still worried but we are getting by, hopeful that everything will be fine in the end. Thank you again to all who reached out and helped out. You all been a big help, not just financially speaking but also a morale booster as well. Kindness and compassion goes a long way.

***

I was at the bank earlier because I had to replace my payroll ATM card because for some reason any machine is rejecting saying invalid transaction and yet it is accepted when I use it as debit card (like in the hospital where my mother is confined) which was causing unnecessary stress at this time. Anyway, when I left the bank a little girl approached calling me "Sir" and asking for spare change.  I got emotional because the girl does not look like a typical street kid. She was dressed fine, clean and had a little sling bag. I dunno I felt like maybe this isn't really something she usually does and maybe she was forced to do it out of desperation and maybe there's a family emergency. I gave her a 5 peso coin and she was very thankful.  Maybe it's a hunch or maybe I'm just sensitive lately because of this current ordeal but I felt like I saw myself on that little girl. Doing something you don't normally do because of your family. I really hope the girl is in good hands. 

One Thing Over

 Nanay's biopsy was done late afternoon today and she was in recovery room for a couple of hours. I got a little stressed because Tatay was so anxious and worried. I'm sure he was thinking of the worst. When my sister finally texted that Nanay is already out of the recovery room and is now in her regular room, he was visibly relieved. They were able to talk awhile ago. Tatay is in a better mood now.

Next step is now we wait for the findings of the biopsy which will take a few days. Oh Dear Lord please guide my mother. It's gonna be a long wait but we need to be as calm as possible.

Next Step

 Nanay is scheduled for biopsy tomorrow. Praying for the least worrisome outcome. She'll stay there until the schedule of her operation because if she gets discharged and goes home, she'll have to get another swab test for COVID19 and the other pulmonary clearances and financially it will cost us more plus the health risk as well. We are preparing financially now, using savings and also asking for help. It really depresses me we are not in better financial state to not worry about this. But right now it's all about Nanay's recovery. Please Lord, guide my mother. 

GOLD

 The Philippines finally won a GOLD medal courtesy of weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz! I got emotional when it was finally official! What made Hidilyn's victory even more emotional is that she did against odds such as lack of funding and got red tagged by the government and was attacked by their troll army on social media wishing for her to lose. Also today is the last state of the nation address of our president which is torturous per usual but Hidilyn winning that elusive GOLD the same day, she stole the headlines rightfully so!

It was such a good personal mood booster to me too because while my mother is in good and stable condition, she will still have procedures on the horizon that's making me anxious but gotta stay strong for her and my family. This GOLD triumph at least gave me a pause of stressing things out 

1/3

It was  sight of relief when the COVID19 test result came out for Nanay and it was negative. It is mandatory to every patient who will be confined to have it and it was stressing us all out so surviving that at least gives us one less thing to worry about. Since she was no longer a PUI, she was moved to a room where visitors (one at a time) are allowed and I was able to visit. I was happy to see Nanay in good spirit and she looks better too. Still, we still have to wait some more test results for the next procedure of her condition. Praying hard for favorable result or the one that less worrying. I also settled some of the hospital bills today and 1/3 of  what I paid that came from people who helped me when they saw my tweet asking for help. It's such a big help to me and something I will never forget for the rest of my life. Deep inside I still feel ashamed that I had to resort to do that because it is a reflection of the kind of life I have but no regrets because I did this for my family. Although no one in my family knows I did this that's why I only did this on twitter and not on FB where they will know. I will never forget the generosity, compassion and kindness those people have shown to me. I promise that once our situation is better, I will find ways to give back or pay it forward.

The Long Wait

 I was quite embarrassed with what I did yesterday by asking for financial help here and on twitter but I just felt desperate, my mind is swarmed with so many thoughts, possibilities, problems. Nevertheless, I'm extremely grateful to those who were generous to share what they can, I even got help from total strangers. One day I will find a way to give it back and pay it forward as well. I will never those who didn't think and helped right away. Currently, we are waiting test results and I'm going mad waiting but when I talk to Nanay on the phone, I'm composed and positive because she's not showing any signs of fear and even still did her Nanay duties and remind us on what to cook, the laundry and stuff. Oh Dear Lord please heal my mother, please don't let the bad scenario happen. I'm begging you God please

Help

My mother was rushed to the hospital due to bleeding in her breasts. She will likely be operated. I never thought one day I would do this but tough times. If you can help us financially, please send it on my GCash 09154528448. Thank you and pls help pray for my mother too.

Pain

 Nanay is rushed to the hospital because one of her breast is bleeding. My siblings are with her right now and I'm here with Tatay and my nephew awaiting news. There's so much in my mind right now. Is it my karma for being irritated at her earlier? Why Lord? I did nothing but take care of her despite my frustrations, her healthy is always a top priority. Am I being punished for complaining about some of my grievances which in hindsight feels so small with what we are facing right now?  Oh Dear Lord please protect my mother, Please....

Comfy

Raining all day and there's a typhoon. I made sure to finish work tasks at the office today so I can just work from home tomorrow because it does not seem like the rain will stop tomorrow. The weather is so cold that I drank paracetamol because I felt cold and have some body aches, you know signs of flu but no coughs and colds so all good. You can't have flu at this moment of time really. And now I'm sleepy because of the medicine and the cold weather is so inviting to just stay comfy in bed. I do hope this won't be a disruptive typhoon.

Alarming

 It was raining all day and the tonight the weather is cold. I feel so sleepy but I'm still waiting for some work related thing. I hope it doesn't rain hard tomorrow so my commute to work won't be a hassle. I'm thinking of working from home tomorrow but I do have an urgent task I need to take care off early because delta variant cases are rising and I'm afraid another stricter quarantine is on the horizon and may affect my work. This endless cycle is so frustrating, non-stop worries.