Stir

I feel like I'm always in the middle of uncomfortable situations. Situations that could have been avoided too if people are not giving in to their paranoia. So much agitation. I take it all in. I can rest easy because something could happen. I'm always find it hard to squeeze some time for myself because I can't be left alone with all the nagging thoughts in my mind that is brought upon by so many worries... so many unnecessary worries. Truly exhausted. 

Portions

I always try to contain what I feel... what I truly feel. I either stay silent or I divert. I don't want to confront things head anymore because nothing will change anyway and I just end feeling more frustrated because of the lack of everything else. Maybe I should do more I guess but I'm already with what I bring in but there's really nothing much I can do. No matter how I try to avoid, it always creeps in. I always try to convince myself "it's better thant that". And it's true of course but I can't but feel so much helplessness. I wish it wasn't the case but it is. Lord, help me. 

5 Kgs

 You had a good sleep and boom you wake up with stressful things! Oh well! I just learned how to limit how my reaction would be because it won't do me good to dwell on it further. There's really nothing much I can do at this point but protect my peace as much as possible. 

Debut

 Glad to have some opportunities pop up but I want more! But still better than nothing really! I was getting worried really! Let's go!

Maggots

 For the first time in a long time, I have nothing pending. A bit sad but there are prospects which hopefully will come soon enough because I don't want to wait in agony for the next one/s! But for now, I'll take advantage of this time and do something else or maybe nothing. Let's wait and see!

Egg Tart

 I finished something and now I wait for the next one. It's not on the horizon so it's frustrating but I have no choice but wait until something arrives. But I hope it's soon because my mind would go places if this drought keeps up!

Soundmachine

 So, I saw this Philips CD player / FM radio my friend is selling online. I kinda want to buy it but it's kinda pricey for me (4K) and honestly I kinda just want to have the nostalgia feeling of playing CDs again! So yeah I have to be smart about it. It's not a need so maybe next time when I have extra. 

Losses

Recently, some people I know lost a loved one. I'm affected whenever I see people grieving, especially people I know. Even if we're not close, it still hits close to home. Whenever I feel so stressed about certain about my life, I always think of what if scenarios to calm me down and change my perspective. Despite some challenges that drains me this is still ultimately better than the other one. And I thank Lord everyday for the blessing of life. 

Vacant

 Hoping for some good news next week because I'm really worried again. I'm not gonna deny that having this moment is nice, but I don't want it to be a constant thing! I hope something comes up next week, I badly need it!

Expectations

Expectations music video is so fun to watch! Chappell Roan is so perfect for the song! And oh boy, Olivia Rodrigo is so beautiful there! The star quality is just another level