Panoramic

Another long day ahead, I hope I can finish everything I need to do. Also, one thing I'm putting off will be done this week. I'm nervous as always, but I can't show it for other people's sake. It's hard to be the one to shoulder everything but one good thing about it is that it builds character. I'm definitely not the same as I was 10 years ago, Lord, please guide me.

Ahead

 I try not to think about it but I know deep inside, I'm screwed. I just need to keep things stable as much as I can even if I will be at the losing end. I always have to adjust. I guess it's my fate all along. A payback of some sorts for all the inconvenience I caused decades ago. I have no problem with it in the grand scheme of things but sometimes when you get beaten down for no good reason other than being the easy target, I feel so much resentment. I don't want to feel it but small snide comments I try to brush off still cuts deep. I don't deserve to be treated that way no matter what.  But I really have no choice. Maybe someday I can find some sort of happiness. I wish so. I deserve it too.

Offer

 You did something out of respect and what do you get in return? Nastiness. Misplaced nastiness. You say sorry for nothing bad really because reasoning out is futile. Closed mind. Tired but what else is new. Miserable. Low key misery. Just keep it in. Like always.

Nap

 I took an afternoon nap and had a realistic dream. Yeah, it's my subconscious telling me it's not okay, but I have no choice, right? It's quite a downer but I just have to continue marching on. Lord, give me the strength. 

6K

Okay, I expected this so I didn't have to be surpsied. If they only knew, right? But I'm protecting them and it's a necessity. That's why I was holding off things for this moment. It's just that some things got delayed so I had to resort to do this again. But it's okay, could have been worse. Better than this than the more terrible timeline

Supply

I'm here facing things beyond my control again. It makes me evaluate my choices again. But I know I will still end up in the same place because there is nothing I can do at this point but just be frustrated deep inside and show strength on the outside. But I'm having a hard time. I want something more but still in my comfort zone. I don't know

Filter

I'm tired doing some things but I have to do it for my peace of mind too because some they just don't change and trying to make them realize their flaws is futile. So here I go and I take the plunge. It's irritating most of the time but if I don't do t then there would be unnecessart stress coming and yes, I don't want that!

There

Life's been hectic lately but all good. This is better than be idle. I also appreciate the fact that I don't get to absorb other things anymore unlike the previous one where I understand the need to vent but  I also get affected with negative energy and I can't focus on the things I need to do. But I do care, I just realized I need a safe distance to not get swallowed in. 

Remember?

 One of the busiest I've been and it's still not over! But this one thing I'm doing right now reminds me of the pandemic days and the eerie feeling it once had. It's been six years. Time flies but I'm not nostalgic for that moment. The uncertainty was nerve-wracking

Festi

 I love that this area of Festival Mall Alabang has been practically the same for over 20 years! It's still well-maintained pa rin naman the last I time I'vr been here. Riding the train here was such an exciting moment for 10-year old me back then!

via  South Metro Manila FB