So I was busy today and I wanted to be productive again at night but this entertainment news caught my attention! Because the impact is massive! It's a pop culture moment! Honestly, I do need something inconsequential as distraction to real life struggles!
Wednesday, November 29, 2023
My Spotify Wrapped 2023! I'm an Olivia Rodrigo stan, Gen Z whew hahaha
1. Olivia Rodrigo
2. Taylor Swift
Top 10 songs
1. bad idea right - Olivia Rodrigo
2. vampire - Olivia Rodrigo
3. Steal the Show - Lauv
4. Kill Bill - SZA
5. love is embarrassing - Olivia Rodrigo
6. Raining in Manila - Lola Amour
7. New Cool - The Cast of Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies
8. Don't Let the Light Go Out - Panic at the Disco
9. Fighting Myself - Linkin Park
10. Forget Me - Lewis Capaldi
1. Who Weekly - discovered this year! Podcast about Hollywood Z listers
2. Dear MOR - local audio drama
3. Ang Walang Kwentang Podcast - local pop culture podcast
4. Rotten Mangoes - true crime stories weekly that I discovered this year, really good storytelling from the host
5. The Hollywood Reporter's TV's Top 5 - whew!
Tuesday, November 28, 2023
It's hard to see the struggle and I sometimes I do get lost with it all. I always remind myself how the close calls were to take me back to the reality that despite the situation, this is still better than the worst outcome. I really hope and pray for strength for everyone involved as this is really a tough one
Monday, November 27, 2023
Today was a holiday in advance! This is not the official day but the no-working thing was held today for long weekend economics whatsoever. I would normally go the office today because I do like the commute during a holiday like this. I chose not to. I decided to give myself a break and do nothing of significance. I need it to clear my head. It won't solve my problems but it gave me room to breathe.
Sunday, November 26, 2023
Some days are okay, some are not. I always have to remind myself to keep the faith because I'm the one who easily breaks internally. That's why I chose to step back a little and keep others ahead because sometimes the pressure is just too much for me to handle, I'm drowning in misery and fear. Oh dear Lord, please hear our prayer
Saturday, November 25, 2023
It was just a temporary reprieve and we are in a rough position now. Scary times and we don't know how can address it properly. There are just so many factors involved preventing us from doing some things. And honestly, there's just distrust that it could further escalate rather than help. It's so hard
Friday, November 24, 2023
Thursday, November 23, 2023
Wednesday, November 22, 2023
Tuesday, November 21, 2023
Monday, November 20, 2023
Sunday, November 19, 2023
Saturday, November 18, 2023
Friday, November 17, 2023
Thursday, November 16, 2023
I fell into the nostalgia rabbit hole moments ago and it was bad. I had a feeling of emptiness after it. Because that particular nostalgia was leading to an end and it was not good. I hate this feeling. Please don't let this feeling of dread go to some place bad
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
Tuesday, November 14, 2023
There are a lot of things in my life that's stressing me out from little stuff like office internet speed so low to my phone's battery acting up to more major life concerns that's bugging me so much right now. Everything is not working the way I want it to be. The way I hope it would be. I'm so frustrated and maybe even depressed now at this point? So much anxiety is making my life so difficult to deal with
Monday, November 13, 2023
Sunday, November 12, 2023
Saturday, November 11, 2023
I wish there was something I could be excited about again. Enveloped with fears and worries, I'm struggling. I've been binge-watching a sitcom I have fallen behind when I got really preoccupied. Now I had the time to sneak some time to go for escapism which was effective for quite some time but didn't really last long enough to get me out of this modd I'm in. I hope there's something that can cheer me up soon.
Friday, November 10, 2023
For the first time in a long time, I have nothing. I had something but I gave it up for "the better good" and yet I felt like I was questioned again. There was an acknowledgment of the things I did and an apology for making me feel bad but the damage has been done. My psyche is such a mess now. It was just not a good week for me in so many ways so it didn't help that I was questioned even I did something with good intentions earlier on. My mind is going to such dark places, it's driving me insane. Oh Dear Lord, let there be light please.
Thursday, November 09, 2023
Even though you try your best to help out, efficiency will still be questioned because others can't catch up. No time was wasted, everything pushed through without a hitch so what's the problem here? Why are there questions again? Making you feel like you did something wrong. It's as if you were flaunting luxury or delivering poor quality just to make things pop. But just in case, you are ready to prove your case because the need is there, you need to suck it up
Wednesday, November 08, 2023
I regret being scared of facing it when I knew it would catch up with me eventually. I just delayed but it never solved anything. I just delayed the pain and remorse.
I regret wasting resources for those two stupid months because of me thinking it would make me happy but it didn't, it made things worse. I wish I backed down and saved it for better use which I feel is coming soon.
I'm so sorry. I had it coming.
Tuesday, November 07, 2023
Monday, November 06, 2023
Sunday, November 05, 2023
Saturday, November 04, 2023
Friday, November 03, 2023
It's back to the office today and I'm all alone. Well, it's not surprising because after a 2-day holiday, people just filed leave for Friday. But I'm the type who likes going to work on "odd" days like this, Commute is a breeze and I like the general calmness of everything. There will be other people coming later but good thing I secured the office keys for today so I can enter already because I go in early. I'm quite productive already before it was 8AM. And now I'm in another pensieve mood. Thinking about a lot of my worries while I'm on my lonesome though. Deep in rhought and trying to contain my anxiety.