Wednesday, August 31, 2022
Tuesday, August 30, 2022
So yeah the thing I was nervous about has been delayed for a few more days. I don't know what to feel about that. I'm the type of person that wants to do everything as soon as possible but I will just have to wait. Hoping and praying for a favorable outcome. I'll try not to stress about it in the meantime.
Monday, August 29, 2022
Working in the office on a holiday and I really like it. It just feels more relaxed already and for some reason, I'm more productive too when there's a sense of calm. But as always there's something inside me bothered about something else. It's a recurring feel and yet I never get used to it. I want to completely surrender everything but I feel ashamed because there's still that fighting spirit that I must take note of and also get my strength too. Here it goes again but hey I need to remind myself about how despite everything that has happened, we always survive. Lord give me strength.
Sunday, August 28, 2022
So happy I was able to finish the dubbing script of an upcoming Christmas movie! Well, to be honest, it was 't really the christmasy movie I was hoping for. The story really could have happened on a regular time. It was really more of a character drama which is still right up in my alley. While I struggled to start this, once I was able to get to the big monologue parts, I really enjoyed translating it! The big declaration of love, in the end, was such a treat to translate! I'm excited when this comes out and hopefully my dubbing script will translate well on screen!
Saturday, August 27, 2022
I had a goal today but didn't really do that well because well I got lazy! I guess I can afford to be lazy because this task isn't immediately due but I really want to finish this as soon as possible. I'll try again tomorrow! I want to finish this project because I want to move to other projects that I find exciting! But I have to finish this first so hopefully more progress for me tomorrow!
Friday, August 26, 2022
Everything is really fragile. I can't be complacent because the threat of it happening again is pretty much present. I'm scared but also trying to be relaxed about it. Maybe a little resigned as well? I don't know what to exactly feel but the last thing I need to be is the person that will add more negative energy.
Thursday, August 25, 2022
A little laid back for me today. Still productive but not as productive as I was the past 2 days. It's a mix of feeling a little lazy and also giving myself some pause because overdoing things will hurt and I can produce better output at full capacity. Yesterday, I also felt I was gonna get sick but thankfully it didn't happen. So yeah maybe a little relaxed day was nice. Anyway, hopefully I'm back to full capacity tomorrow so I can more things done
Wednesday, August 24, 2022
Currently writing a dubbing script for a Christmas movie and I'm loving it so far! It's an upcoming release so excited when this comes out! It's September next week so yeah 'tis the season! I really hope our upcoming holidays will be stress-free. Praying for it hard.
Tuesday, August 23, 2022
Monday, August 22, 2022
So my nephew's first day in face-to-face classes after 2 years was today and I asked him how was it and he had a very nonchalant response! Well, typical teen but I do hope he will adjust well and the school environment will be good for him as well. He is smart but the past 2 years definitely affected his drive for academics and also socially speaking as well outside of his Roblox online friends. High school is such a crucial time and I hope he finds a good spot as he enters this stage even if it was delayed for two years.
Sunday, August 21, 2022
My nephew is in Grade 9 but tomorrow is his first day in face-to-face high school. It's his first time to be in a new school too. The last time he was inside a physical classroom was when he was just 11 and now he's 14. Major adjustments and I hope it works out well for him. I'm quite excited for him!
Saturday, August 20, 2022
After a very torturous week, I breathe a sigh of relief today. I'm still very much scared that this wouldn't last and we go back again to the cycle of endless uncertainty and non-stop fears but for now, I thank God, that the worst fear that I was starting to accept didn't happen. Please Lord, let this last longer.
Friday, August 19, 2022
Thursday, August 18, 2022
So perhaps it wasn't really what I feared and it was just something to shake our consciousness. But for now, I'm managing my expectations. I went through so much hell in my mind where I basically made myself so miserable. It isn't over yet but things, hopefully, are turning around. Please give me this to us Lord.
Wednesday, August 17, 2022
I hate to feel this way, that now I prefer the sadder option because if this continues it is basically just one big hell for all of us. Maybe there's still hope but I feel scared. Not gonna lie I'm questioning everything about why this happening and how it has gotten worst that surpasses even my worst fears. Maybe we deserve it. Or do I deserve it? My mind is spiraling and keeping it together is harder than usual but please Lord listen to my prayer. I beg you
Tuesday, August 16, 2022
So yeah it's pretty clear, that we made a mistake. In the back of my head, I knew this was a possibility but I was hoping it wasn't because it was the easier choice but nope fate slapped us back and now we are in the worst-case scenario. A nightmare. And I don't know what to do next,
Monday, August 15, 2022
Here it goes again. I'm totally worried but there's nothing I can do. I'm half-accepting. I'm half in denial. It's just waiting to see if the light of hope beams again or it's total darkness. I feel numb in some ways, I feel tired too which I feel so guilty about but what I can do this is what I feel. I want to let go but maybe I'm just being the defeatist I usually am. I'm questioning so many things in life right now. It's the stress or maybe a feeling that has been buried down ever since where I was just afraid to acknowledge, I'm at this point where I just wait and see, embracing the worst-case scenario like I usually do. Let it be.
Sunday, August 14, 2022
Saturday, August 13, 2022
Anxiety. I wish I could escape from this for real. But it isn't the case. It's so hard to be enslaved by this. It's driving me insane. But I need to remind myself of what happened 2 weeks ago to put me back in my proper place. I need to be strong. I need to be brave. I need to calm down.
Friday, August 12, 2022
Thursday, August 11, 2022
Last time I did something for myself something awful followed. It is a coincidence my mind says and yet I felt like I was punished and was reminded of how things are. It took me a few more weeks to do it again just because I was scared irrational it may seem. I did it again because there is a need for it actually. But please nothing bad next .
Wednesday, August 10, 2022
So a college classmate's daughter is about to enter her first year in college now!!! Granted, she had her early but still, nothing could make you feel so older but knowing that fact of life! My nephew is entering Grade 9 too as well. Time flies. I won't get sick of saying that. Sometimes, you just don't know notice how things have changed until there's something that will shake your system like finding out people my age can have college-bound children now!
Tuesday, August 09, 2022
Monday, August 08, 2022
Sunday, August 07, 2022
Always on the receiving end of stressful situations. I want to shout and say I'm suffering so much internally already so I don't need the negativity right now. That's the last thing I need now. If you really care about other people's welfare what about thinking about what other people are feeling while you have your meltdown and blame someone who did nothing but make personal sacrifices for all your convenience? I would if I can but I know better that unlike on TV, people baring their heart out does not really lead to quick solutions. It does not lead to realizations but instead will be taken out of context to put it against you. I don't deserve to be treated this way and maybe someday you will realize the things you have done to me and how broken I am for so long. I made my peace with it and tried not to blame others for my own frustrations but moments like this make it so difficult
Saturday, August 06, 2022
It's so challenging to balance my work things and family matters. Like after I did errands, I was dead set to focus on finishing up this dubbing script and things were going well but some tension happened that I needed to sort out. It's so difficult to deal with this, what should I do first? It ruins my momentum too. But well I have no choice but to fix things and pacify everything. But I reminded myself where we were a week ago to put things in perspective. I'm spent but still at least it's not the worst case scenario, I need to remind myself whenever things like this happen.
Friday, August 05, 2022
Thursday, August 04, 2022
I began working on this Christmas movie dubbing script and it gave me the holiday vibe already! I really hope and pray our holidays this year will be festive and stress-free! It's so me that I always think what could go wrong immediately after thinking of something happy. Anyway, this dubbing script is not yet due anytime soon and I have other scripts that I needed to finish first but I decided to work on this already, at least have a start because I think it will boost my mood. Anyway, I plan to do a few minutes each night or two.
Wednesday, August 03, 2022
Tuesday, August 02, 2022
Monday, August 01, 2022
After a rollercoaster of emotions the past 4 days, today has been good thank God. Hopefully, it will stay that way. My faith definitely was shaken and challenged and I admit I felt like giving up but I cling on to hope for whatever little it may have. I still feel nervous that I don't want to be complacent like before but I really hope that challenging period has ended and we are truly on the road to recovery.