Dry

 And it continues and it is getting me worried. Hopefully, something, anything, happens this week. There must be something coming that will feed this tank that is approaching an alarming scenario. 

Burst

 I'm exhausted from dealing with mood swings. I have to set aside my OWN mood swings because who would if everyone else is having a moment? We can't all survive if everybody is in a foul mood. So as always, I set aside everything to make them at ease.  I do it for my own good too. I'm too exhausted with everything that I don't really go out and explore the world outside my own bubble. It is better for me this way, I never to get enjoy being outside anyway because there's always something to worry about inside. I just place myself in my own bubble within this bubble to carry on. This is a part of my bubble too. It is technically outside but I doubt anyone sees this anyway. Sometimes I wonder if one day google gives on blogger and everything I had here will be erased. Like in Friendster. Like in Multiply. Like in PEx. Will I bother saving everything I had here or like those other sites, I just let it fade away. I just do a post here because it is talking to myself where I can visibly see my thoughts. I ramble and it's fine because it lifts a side of all the burdens I carry before it gets filled again. 

AI

 The rise of Artificial Intelligence really worries me. It's likey gonna wipe out a lot of jobs in the future. Some say you can't stop the future and just embrace it. Easy to say for people with nothing really on the line. Just read this article that YouTube is launching their AI-powered automatic dubbing for content creators. While we never had a client for dubbing under social media, still I'm afraid AI-powered localization will hurt our company eventually. Hopefully not and that the value of having actual humans doing translations and adaptation will still have edge. 

Quotes

Glad to met my goal today and also received another thing to do. But I want more really. I've been really anxious with the near-dry spell. There are leads but nothing confirmed yet. I hope things will pour in soon!

(grunts)

 So close yet so far. I wanted to push myself more but I'm so exhausted already. I don't want to abuse myself or else there could be serious consequences which I definitely don't want to deal with right now. I'll finish this tomoorrow with a refreshed mind. 

Intricate

 So good progress for today but I could do so much more, hopefully, tomorrow I'll maximize what I can do. I used to do this faster but I'm slower now because I don't want to mess it up so the quality won't suffer. After this, I still have two in queue but I'm getting worried already with no new stuff coming in lately. Hopefully, good news will come in soon. 

Wanted

 So some challenging few days ahead as I need to beat two important deadlines but this is the kind of rush I really want though. It keeps my mind so busy not to think about fears, anxieties, and other recent stuff that I was starting to get addicted to despite my brain telling me it was not a good thing. Hopefully, more things to come to be productive continuously and not get worked up on things dragging my spirit down. 

Beat

 I got irritated today because I felt like I'm on a losing end when I just want to help. It's hard to be honest about it as well so I just tried to be as polite as possible in expressing my concern about something. Oh, well. I really need to assess this situation, afraid of offending people but also tired of being in the middle of this again.

25 Minutes

So near yet so far. I could have touched the finish line earlier but I don't know why I made my own obstacles! I really need more push to get this to the finish line! Let's get to it!

Barbenheimer

 I definitely want to see both Barbie and Oppenheimer but I just need to find the time to do it! Pre-Covid days, I would dedicate one Saturday watching movies but it's not something I could do anymore. I have family errands on weekend mornings, afternoon naps, and dubbing scripts at night. Plus weekend traffic is not something I like to deal with anymore. I do miss those carefree days but it's not just the same anymore. I do hope to find the time sometime next week

Grapes

I had a bit of a struggle finishing this task. I haven't made much progress but hopefully this weekend I can finally finish it. I really need to do my best here because I always aim to do my best and not get complaints from poor work. 

Tank

  Blessings are pouring but I'm worried about the future. We need more to settle things down. The load is still good but I want an overflow again so there will be more security. 

Reviewed

 So just finished something that annoyed me a little but you have to be patient I guess. But I need to also protect myself from being abused. So I need to be more firm and strict I guess so I won't have to suffer in the end because I didn't made things clear. 

Resist

 So I'm fighting to do the same reckless decision I made the past month. It's a heart vs mind thing but hopefully not jinxing it, my mind is winning this time. I keep reminding myself of the aftermath of my decision so I keep myself in check. I don't have the excess to make that mistake again. 

Attention

Glad to finish the task I was working on over the weekend today. And now I'm off to work on another one and hopefully, I can finish as early as possible because I have another one in line too! But I really hope that there's more to come as well!

Close but not..

 So I'm close to finishing the task that I wasn't able to do yesterday. I do feel a little regretful because if I made some progress yesterday I would be finished by now already. I plan to finish this tomorrow before lunch though because I already feel sleepy. Good thing it was a fun thing to do so all is well

Maybe tomorrow

 I planned to do something productive and I ended up sleeping in the afternoon! Well, it's not super immediate task but I wanted to do it early but oh well, when your body called you to rest, you will follow!

On-Off

 The past month had been interesting. I keep going back and forth to this. it's a want vs need thing. I try to balance things out really but not sure where I stand now. But anyway, I will go back focusing on things I need to do. Hoping for more projects to come to keep myself busy even more

Lonely

I am lonely. No matter how I try to not think feeling this way I just can't. I keep on reminding myself that things could be so much worst but there just comes a point that you feel exhausted trying to remind yourself of that. I wish for better things. I wish for peace of mind. But it's not happening, it goes on and on. I don't want to whine because, at the end of the day, I do this because I want to and because of unconditional love. But it's just hard at times.  I wish I didn't feel this way. But there's no shortcut. There will be more days of the same feeling. 

Bandaid

 The past 3 weeks or so I tried to escape thinking about the recurrent worries I have but let's face it I was just fooling myself. Endless worries. I keep going back and forth but I still end up in the same place.  It's frustrating but it could be so much worst. I always try to take things into perspective. Maybe I will keep doing this escape but up to what point? I am now confronted with the same dilemmas. Maybe I just forget about giving myself a temporary exit from the stressful things I endure. 

112

 A little disappointing today. A plan I had didn't pan out but well you gotta think of the lesser hassle and the bigger picture. It is also a situation that is caught in between a transition, So yeah need to do what's better for the future. 

Freaked Out

 So I was doing something I thought I wanted but then the real me kicked in. Yeah, no matter how I try to change myself, I can't really fight my natural instinct with such things. It's gonna hurt me in the long run but I don't know maybe this is where I was really meant to be.

Sunny

 I ran some errands today at noontime and the heat was unbearable. I was using a big umbrella usually used for storms because it is not safe to walk with that kind of heat with no protection really. It was good to see some guys like me with their umbrellas too, I mean come on you shouldn't risk your heatlh just because of social norms that men don't use umbrellas when there's no rain!

Heat

 This week is freaky as for the first in my life I saw the sun still shining brightly close at 6PM. The heat is just unbearable. I wish for colder weather soon!

Booked

Finished two dubbing scripts this week! I love the feeling of it again! I have three scripts on my plate as well with deadlines close to each other! AND I LOVE IT.  I've had enough lazy weekends after house chores. I want to spend the weekend working on scripts again! Hopefully more projects to come

Rev

Finished the first episode of the latest dubbing project we have. A day before the deadline as well so that's nice. Dubbing starts on  Monday so it was a bit rushed but I always worked on dubbing scripts, especially with this director who has been very appreciative of my work. I don't fish for compliments but it's always to get complemented and it really gave me a boost as well!

Muna

 I needed to end some of the recklessness I've been doing the past few weeks. It's a decision I made because taking that risk made me experience things I never did but there's still that immense feeling of regret and yet I go back to the same cycle which also made me lose focus on certain things. Maybe I'll revisit this someday but with a better plan and not just because of the thrill of  taking a risk, ignoring the bigger picture just because I want to be selfish for a moment. 

Gimme More

After having some drought, glad to know new projects are coming in again. I want to be so busy again because those weeks with a lighter workload worried me a little! I'm already used to being so occupied with back-to-back things that I need to finish. So happy now but hoping for MORE! 

Window

 So Monday is quite good for opportunities! Quit excited and hopefully more to come. I have some stressful some at the back of my head but I will savor this bliss in the meantime. The feeling of excitement is there but I need to manage my expectations

Testing

So this "experiment" is making me realize a lot of things now. I'm learning some stuff about myself. It's still a work in progress and I hope to come out of this a better person. I'm cautious but at the same, I want to be reckless too. It's a hard thing to balance really but I need to confront and face everything before it's too late for me.

Simul

 I entered something I know very well what it really is but I'm trying to find something more to this. It makes me happy even for a few moments and yet I know it's all a facade. But for a few moments I can pretend I'm on a different world.