Ctwice

I was quite tired today and there's still a lot of things do still. But it's fine, I can manage. Hopefully, nothing untoward happens this weekend because I have a lot on my plate yet again! Plus, endless worries too. But yeah, I can manage. I will. 

Camera

 It has been release for a over a month already and it didn't caught my attention the first time but suddenly when I heard it again, it clicked to me It's not catching on unlike previous Ed Sheeran ballads, maybe because it's a new generation of young listeners but this song is just magical to me now!

Coin Purse 2

My more than a decade old coin purse is still missing and probably not gonna be seen! Gotta move on so I "bought" a new one which is the Mercury Drug coin purse which just cost me three SUKI card points! I hipe it's sturdy too!

Need

I'm worried. I'm scared. But I'm holding it in because I really don't have a choice. I don't feel resentful because I'm doing the right thing but it really is just scary. Oh dear Lord, please hear my prayer. 

Scramble

 I know this will come but still went with it. It was quite chaotic but I still made it somehow. More things are coming in though so I better pull myself together and be in a proper headspace to make it all work!

Flatter

I made a mistake taking this up because I just don't have enough energy for this to continue but I need to pull through and make it work. I need to speed it up because I don't really gain much from this aside from creative benefits! I dunno, it's just so hard! Kicking myself right now

Quezon

 I wanted to watch QUEZON movie but just don't have the time to squeeze it and frankly a bit hesistant money wise but the recent confrontation of the grandson of Quezon and the filmmakers on a Q&A sessiona after a movie got my interest to see it! Let's hope I can find the time and energy too to catch it

Chariot

 Westlife released a new song Chariot and I really like it. I love the Irish touch then it sounds quite adult and please without trying to replicate their past success from decades ago. So nice!

Mess

 I'm so annoyed once again. I can't really catch a break; always something chaotic happening that shouldn't be happening in the first place. I'm so sick of this but can't do anything about but let out a big sigh. Once again, I remind myself that this could have been worse, so put me in perspective. I'm so exhausted but will continue to march on. 

Enveloped

 So many things I fear in my head right now. My thoughts go overdrive and I'm now thinking of worst case scenarios. Oh please Lord, I hope those negative thoughts will never happen. I'm so scared so I try my best to do other things. 

K....

 At least it got noticed but somehow I feel in the end they will make it all about them in the end instead of looking out of others and doing some changes to not affect others with such negative atmosphere. I doubt it but one can hope. 

Coins

My coin purse is missig. It has a few one peso coins in it but still that coin purse has been so sturdy for over a decade. I hope it is just here somewhere in the house. I thought I kept in on my small bag that I used on weekend errands but when I checked that bag when I got home, it's not there! I really hope I just misplaced here it at home 

Table That

 Hoping for a good week ahead. There's something that stressing me out for awhile but I just decided to just let things be and face whatever is on the horizon. I trusted my instinct with this so hopefully I'm not wrong. 

Catch Up

 So I watched some TV shows like High Potential, Only Murders in the Building and Abbot Elementary! All on Disney+ because I took the 70% discounted annual plan a few months ago! I definitely enjoy watching shows again after being focused on other things or distracted by things I see on YouTube! Hope to have more time for this again

Double Meet

 So glad something that I thought was a lost cause is still alive! And twice the blessing! So glad we get some win and came in the right time. Hoping for more and more and more and more!

Counted

 Quite glad to see something pay off without me really asking to! Thank you, Lord! Made my day! Made me feel appreciated. So glad I didn't have to say or ask for it and let the work speak for itself! This is just what I need really because I've been quite a mess internally speaking although I always hold it together on the outside! More good news please!

Strands

 Technically free and I feel sad again because it's drying up again. I wish some of the stuff I worked hard for would reap something, anything because I just need it to keep on going. *sighs* Hoping for better days ahead because uncertainty always stresses me out. And I also have to deal with something next week that I've been stressing and torn about too. Oh dear Lord, guide me

Reap

I hope someday I could really reap the awards of this hardwork. I'm not complaining because I put myself to this willingly and I actually enjoy it but I can't help feel that I'm a bit shortchanged. I fully understand the circumstances and I'm happy to help so all I wish that we'll be in a better positon that I don't have to do this or at least get some good things to come my way?  I'm frustrated and hoping things get better.

Stay In

 I do often wonder what like without baggages is? Don't get me wrong universe I don't wish the worst and I know this is still better than what most people have. But when you are always on your toes anticipating bad vibes to spread in, it's hard to live without so much negativity feelings surrounding you. It is an unpleasant feeling that I wish I am free off but I know it's not possible and nothing ever changes.  I'm tired as per always.  I just need to vent so I can feel better inside and outside.  It's been really painful in more ways that one. But I need to survive. 

Yeah

 As always, I needed to get some push to get things done quickly. I've been stalling and almost thought of doing a mistake yet again because of how frustrated I was! I saw some signs but ignored then I had to suffer yet again the brunt! But at least it was not the total misstep yet again. Thank goodness!

100+ Weeks

 Tired of everything. Exhausted of everything. But I can't lose control because who would else would suffer but me?  Constantly reminding myself that things could get a lot worse so just be grateful of the present that, in the grand scheme of things, is still okay. I acknowledge that. Grateful for that. But I'm just simply burned out. In all aspects. I just need to let this out so I'll be okay when I face the world. I just need a space to just let it all out so it won't me alive. 

Outlet

 There is one constant thing that's really making my life such a pain but I just gotta give in because standing up is not an option if I want a relative peace of mind. It's simply not the case for me. In a way I understad the root of all this and I wish for the same outcome but I know the odds are just not in favor and the consistent hope is just making us lose more. The particular party is well aware of that but chooses to cling on to that one little chance it gets through. I say encouraging words but nope deep inside I know it's just a waste. But I want to be proven wrong, I desperately want to because I would benefit too right and end this one thing that's making my life extra annoying, extra inconveniet, extra painful. I'm in such a miserable state right now.  I really hope and pray things could get better. It has to. 

Extras

 I just try to shove things down because speaking up will just add to unnecessary stress. But I'm having a hard time with the never changing attitude and have the audacity to say some guild tripping things that please one of the things you do is also an unnecessary burden! It's too much! But I can't say it because drama ensues. I always try my best to be understanding but when hearing such hypocrisy triggers me. But there's really nothing I can do but just deal with those things. I'm so lost.

Spinal

 Down in the dumps yet again! Feeling a lot of restless, worry and anxiety. I can't concentrate then I will rush things again when adrenaline is high. I just feel so off again, I need something to give me that energy again. Or I'm just giving excuse to my lame behavior. I really don't know. 

Bordering

 I still feel so bitter about losing that one and them getting that. I honestly believe we did well but it's really out of our control. It really sucks because it was such a sense of pride and now it's gone. It's hopeless but I sometimes I still dream that it will come back hence I still work so hard on that one particular thing because maybe they will reconsider? It's been over a year and yet it sucks so bad. 

Adjust

There are things I wanna do but I can 't. Or choose not to do so I won't affect others. I sometimes I want to be selfish. Then I remembered I made some selfish calls 2 years ago that I deeply regret until now. So yeah, everytime I feel this frustrated again, I will remind myself of that very bad mistake. I could have so much leeway if only I didn't let that overtake me. Now, I'm in such constang stuggle. 

Rector

 Working something that is considered a classic and it just feels different looking at it with adult eyes. But it deftinitely still brings in the nostalgic feels. You also then realized how personal standards have changed as well as you deal with somethin valuable from the past and trying to give it a different spin! Anyway, can't wait to see it!

More

I'm okay with things as they are because I always fear of things going worse as I experienced that a couple of times the past few years. But I can't also feel dissatisfied at times and wishig for some better. But I'm afraid I'm attracting negativity and this could bite me back. My mind is truly chaotic most of the times. 

Bolt

Just as I thought I had some leeway, nope! Things are being rushed out so I had to get my act together and get things done immediately! Let's go!!!

Mano

 I'm excited to work on something I have childhood exposure too! I started some of it earlier but I was not off to a good pace yet hopefully tomorrow I get my groove on! Checking out the materials I will work on is quite fascining because they are from the 1980s and they are basically time capsules!

BNO

 I was never really a fan of MAGIC 89.9's Boys  Night Out because the humor is just not a fit with my personality but still they are an iconic part of Mega Manila radio for so long so for it to end in such controversial way is quite shocking even if I haven't been really listening to radio that much these days... well, on my own choice I mean because we are a radio household every since I was a child so the radio is almost always on! Anyway, it's quite sad to see things that were very much present in your younger year fade away and lost its magic.