Perhaps

 "Look at him long life and no stress" well, because he wasn't actively searching for something to disappoint him and get upset over. Maybe that is the key. He didn't find someone else to blame why for his dissatisfaction. Maybe he wanted them to be at ease first so they could actually spread their wings and not get stunted in life. Maybe that's why they were able to give him the life you obviously envious for because they were able to do something beyond because they didn't feel they have to adjust to what pleases him. All speculations but maybe something to ponder rather than jumping ahead to reproaching.

Pages

 First weekend in a while I didn't have something I need to finish that I was struggling to finish. Hopefully, there will be more organized weekends on the horizon. I need to get back to reading for pleasure again. I have some unfinished books last year so I need to get back to that!

67

 So glad I was finally able to do something ahead of time and not the usual scrambling in the end. Although I'm quite sad the list is getting shorter but I do believe there are more on the horizon so I need calm down a bit. I do need some little break but not too long please. I don't want to be frustrated when there's a drought again. 

Fluctuations

 I wish I could be free of worrying but it's just not the case. I'm always on the lookout. Always so paranoid that things will go haywire. It's hard living this way. I always fear something bad could happen. So I'm really okay when things are dull and boring, as long as there's stability and safety, 

Up Next

I don't know maybe it's just my usual paranoid self but given how some are spaced out, I am afraid I could be thrown under the bus. I'm not gonna allow that, I already worked so hard to maintain everything in good form. But it annoys me already just thinking of the possibility. I already missed out on getting on this to give way but I could get dragged in the process, NO!

Orange

 Totally loving this new Maki song Kahel Na Langit! Beautifully written and performed! I've been playing it repeatedly lately!

Raindrops

There's some potential things coming out soon, and hopefully things pan out. I'm panicking a little because the things I have to do for myself have taken a step back for other things that could help in general, but now I'm getting behind on my target to be sufficient. So hopefully things will shape up well. I regret delaying things using personal space as excuse. 

Wheels

 I can't finish some things I want to do because I have to listen to rants, and they don't care about the things you have to do because they want to rant and rant. Sometimes, the issues can be resolved, or shouldn't be made a big deal because they just stress you out unnecessarily. You can choose to live a life free of stress. 

Play

 I don't know how to deal with the recurring stressful things in my life. I don't know what the right strategy anymore to maintain peace. I feel like even if I try my best and make sacrifices, nothing really changes. I am so tired but I am trapped in this endless cycle. What's even harder is that the alternative is so much worst, I hate that sometimes I think of that worse case scenario. Because I can't help it when I feel so overwhelmed with unpleasant feelings 

Counting

I feel bad that I already feel frustrated for a problem that hasn't happened yet but the fear is just so strong I'm spiralling deep inside. I need to control my fear so I can handle the inevitable bravely. Oh dear Lord, please help me survive against myself

Early Signs

 I've noticed it for a long time already, but I was so in denial. But I knew, or I think I know what's going on but  I don't want it to be confirmed. All because I'm afraid of another source of stress but I have to face the reality of what this all means. Hoping and praying it won't further escalate. 

Laptop Enterprises

 Sad to learn that shop where I bought my laptop has closed down. I bought it 3 years ago on a small shop in Makati, found them on Facebook and read good reviews that they are legit and has good prices. And it is true. They still have affiliate shops in QC but this shop was so convenient to me

7740

 Another unnecessary stress. But of course there is always the lack of self awareness. So I have to take it all in. Or maybe I don't. I shouldn't. But too late, already affected. Oh, well what can I do. This is the story of my life. I'm just gonna shove it inside and do other things  Or worry for tomorrow. 

Hex

I was just previewing my next episode of a project I'm working dubbing scripts but I got hooked on the story then spent all afternoon reading the raw scripts of the last 30 or so episodes, what a good show! Definitely one of my favorite stuff we've worked on recently.  It really gives me a good push doing this work!

Four Left

 So I'm a bit worried that things are starting to dry up again after a very busy past few months. I still have things to do but I want more things to come soon. There were some opportunities though that could have kept me covered but some things happened that I wasn't able to squeeze myself in. Really hoping there will be some more on the horizon. 

Please...

A new week ahead and I'm really praying hard for a smooth one but as always I mentally prepare myself for other outcomes. All I want is less stressful scenarios. Please Lord!

After

 I discovered Taylor through this show, and I became a fan. She's so funny and lovable (and yes beautiful!). CBS should have continued with another host when Taylor decided to leave and not just cancel it outright. I feel Taylor may have felt a little guilty about people losing jobs in this speech, and she shouldn't be. Not her fault CBS is broke too! I'm gonna miss her!

Out of My Mind

 I am feeling a lot of things. So overwhelming and chaotic. I want to be selfish and just think of myself. But of course I can't do that. It's just hard to absorb everything but I have to. So here is just how I handle things, just blurting it all out here because I have no one to tell about it anyway. Let it out then go on

Touch

 Yeah, I tried something because I was craving for something and hoping for a better result than before but my bad it still the mediocre experience like it always. I never na learn 

Dry

I'm not back in my groove yet and the constant stress dumping on me is just making feel so exhausted. I can't turn them away though because I understand the need to process what you feel so one could function better. But it's taking a toll on me so I need to find a way to shake this off

Good Deal!

Disney+ PH had a promo here one one-year Basic subscription for around 8 dollars so I grabbed it! The monthly here for Basic is around 4 dollars a month so it's a good deal. Binged two shows Adults and Dying for Sex and here my thoughts:

 I didn't expect Dying For Sexy would be really funny despite the subject matter. Michelle WIlliams is indeed really amazing here. So is Jenny Slate. What a great story of friendship and how your friend could be your soul mate. The last episode is an all timer, the nurse's enthusiasm about the dying process is so bonkers, it's funny but scary at the same time but I do think they got the tone right for that one. I also like the fact that his ex-husband was in the final episode, I like that they didn't make him a jerk in the end, he just wasn't the right person to be in the end with her despite good intentions. And such great acting from Michelle, the smile she gave when the ex husband told Molly that he is having a baby spoke a lot, genuine happiness for him. I have to say when Molly died, I didn't expect to laugh with the open mouth thing, such good timing  As for Adutls, the pilot was tonally a mess, but really got good in the succeeding episodes thanks to a really strong cast, I wish it had more than 8 episodes though. But even with just 8 episodes, I already feel like I know a lot about the main 5 already and their history which for me is a sign of a good comedy show.

I've been misisng watch TV shows for leisure so I'll go back again and get my mind some break!

Snap

 I need to get over this feeling because it has been affecting me deep inside. I wish I could find a way to just set this feeling of doom aside but it has been hovering my head. I need to shake this feeling off and march on.

1PM

 I knew it. No matter how I try to make things okay, it just doesn't work when there's inherent bias. Oh yeah. It just is.. I feel a little upset and stressed, but can't show it. So here I am, shouting it to the internet or the dying blogspot space. 

At Will

 I teared up while working on the dubbing script for the finale of this show. It's such a special one, it's like a warm hug!  I've seen hundreds of telenovelas in this job for the last 16 years, and this will have a special spot in my heart

Structure

 I feel guilty thinking about it because of recent discoveries but I can't help it. Now I think we are better off if something else takes over. I may regret it if it actually happens I know but for now let me dream about ideal scenarios

Dip Your Toes

 I wish I didn't know about this. Ignorance is bliss as they say. Argh, now I'm just affected and bothered. I can't blame that person because it was just trauma dumping to help ease their felling but now I'm very bothered. How do I handle this stuff now?

Disappointed

 I wish I didn't go deep with this because confirming some of the things I felt really sucks. I feel sad because I am disillusioned now although I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt but it is so hard not to feel crushed and jaded.

Absorbing

 I'm in a tough position and very afraid of what could happen next. I see the point of all sides but it's just hard to resolved without someone getting hurt in the process. I'm afraid of the collateral damage. 

Tense

Not feeling good again, although for another reason that I really should not be involved, but I got involved by proxy. You see the sides, but having a resolution to this that will be good for both will just be difficult for everyone involved. Just makes me think even more that I don't want to be put in that kind of situation. 

Switch and Bait

 I watched this interview with Karmina Constantino and David Celdran and wow what an articulate conversation. Something I miss these days, eloquence and thought-provoking discussions. The times we live in where everything is so tense and people always angry than sit down and discuss and LISTEN. Oh, well...