What If?

Private companies are encouraged to do COVID19 tests to their employees before they go back to work. It's a sound idea but how many tests are available? I'm afraid some will seize this as an income opportunity. I guess can't blame them given how the economy has collapsed but still mass testing should be free but the progress is just so slow. Not a lot of private companies can afford this but do they have a choice if they want to go back to operations? How frequent would the test be needed? Of course it can't be just one and done because you'll never know if you can catch it eventually after testing negative then you go out in the world. There's just so many things to think about in this crisis. 

This is also got me thinking what if our company will do this, will I be comfortable taking a test? What if it I test positive and I need really do a hard quarantine? Can my messy emotional state handle this? Imagine if the barangay and subdivisions finds out, I would cause a lockdown here and our family will be ostracized for sure. It terrifies me just thinking about the possibility. I'm scared of the virus and the fallout it will cost if I test positive. 

I often read "I'll miss _______ when this nightmare is over" and I fee iffy. It feels like counting chickens before the eggs hatched. Don't look forward to missing something we are currently experiencing right now because of this pandemic. It feels wrong really but I guess that's how other people cope in this situation. Nearly 3 months of this nightmare, WHEN WILL THIS END? 

I'm so tired really.