Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Lousy Feeling

So we received a message from management apologizing for the delay of the 13th month pay and also explaining why it is the case. I understand it totally and I know they are committed to give it to us but the question is when. Tomorrow is the last banking day and I doubt we can make it in time. So for the first time ever, I won't have it before Christmas. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? My sensible side speaks to that but no matter how I try to contain this feeling, I'm just not successful. This unfortunate incident just opened a can of worms. Mostly financial. I really love this job and company, I won't be here for 11 years if I didn't but man it's really hard to not feel  like this. I got left behind. That's the truth. I wish I didn't feel this way. 33 and nowhere in life but stagnant. I know in a time of pandemic and little job opportunities I should be more grateful and I truly am. I just hate the feeling triggered by the delayed 13th month pay. If I were in better financial state, I wouldn't feel this way. But I'm not. I've lived in so much mediocrity for years now. I know it and I thought I've accepted it. But yeah it clearly wasn't the case. 

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