Broken

It's hard to keep your composure when things don't work one after another. No breathing space sometimes. I can't lose my cool because it will lead to further stressful things and well no one's really at fault, just simply unlucky

400

Raining again, not as hard but still a bummer. It kinda ruined my day, but I had some good news earlier, so I will let that simmer! Hopefully tomorrow is a brighter day, literally! It's just hard to do some particular with this kind of weather!

74 minutes

Yesterday, I wanted to finish something but my body really called for rest and I listened! Now I was able to finish that thing, whew! It was a little hard but as always enjoyable. When your body is rested you could do more! So yeah, let's move forward with this mindset!

39

 I turned 39 today. Time flies. I still remember when I was 29, and I was thinking about what my life should be in my 30s. Well, things turned out differently but still very grateful because I survived; I learned and gained a whole new perspective. Thank God fort that!

Eternally Underground Diner and Roses

 Third straight day of accomplishing something vital! I allotted the weekend for another big thing so hopefully I will be able to pull it off. Maybe I can do it one day? But I won't push myself that hard of course, let's see how tomorrow flows!

You Were There

 I was on a nostalgia trip again today! And rediscovered this song Five Candles (You Were There) from Jars of Clay! The song takes me back to a time, nothing specific, but an atmosphere where it is just so different. I don't want to romanticize the past so much but sometimes you are just in the mood to look back and search for that lost feeling.

Your Love Amazes Me

 It's been for a couple of months already and it's been on regular rotation on my Spotify playlist but then I heard this randomly on radio one day and I liked it even more! It's a throwback to their early hits and sounds so nostalgic that hearing it on radio amplified the feeling! Just reminds me of wonderful, fuzzy, innocent feelings of my early youth!

Binges

 Binge some shows lately

Leanne Season 2 was so short and the last episode didn't feel like a season much less a series finale.

Adults Season 2 so enjoyable and again so short! They don't really have a strong overall narrative but it's funnier than season 1 (which started annoying to me then grew to love it)

And I finally finished Hacks, what a good final season. I enjoyed The Amazing Race episode so much! Jean Hacks deserved another emmy for the clown bit! And I have to say Hannah Einbender was so good, I was annoyed with her on season 1, so Gen Z cliche, but she gets better each season and funnier too! And her delivery on the monologue questing AI was sooo good!

Breeze

 I had a good massage today at a place that's a little fancier than usual. I availed the neck and shoulder massage for 30 minutes because it's what I can afford to be honest but also I also have sore shoulders lately! It was good! Planning to save so money to get a full massage next. I badly need it!

Nightmare

 Seeing the devastation of the flash floods in Nepal is terrifying! I can't even imagine the horror the people who experienced it there. It is so devastating. A true nightmare. I really hope to never experience that kind of tragedy ever.

Nap

 Raining hard again today and because of that I took an afternoon nap. I don't feel super relaxed though after that but still I won't fight the urge to sleep. My body calls for it, I will listen to it! Not getting younger anymore, turning 39!!! next week! Time flies!

Visualizers

I've watched the visualizers videos of the Eurovision Asia: Philippine Selection Night finalists and it's cool to see how the performers interpret the songs and I can't really wait to watch them perform it live this Sunday! I hope this becomes successful so it will be annual thing!

Scheduled

Another challenging weekend, but I can do this! I do feel some body muscle pain/body aches so hopefully I'll feel better soon and quick because I have things to do! But I'm happy today because there was some good news; hopefully it picks up and things get even better so depsite some personal stressful things I'm dealing with, I'm happy there's something to smile about although those are far from over but I take every win I can get. 

Movie Magic

Gen Alpha kids get a lot of stigma as iPad babies and brain rot consumers however I still believe the power of long-form production like movies will still get them eventually especially as they expand their social circle growing up. Maybe I'm a fool to be optimistic but at the height of the pandemic there was that narrative that moviegoing will die na sa millennials with Gen Z more into social media and short form content on Tiktok buto this year a lot of the box office hits this year on a global scale were powered by Gen Z support. I've online forums seeing Gen Z getting interested with the big screen experience although there are criticisms as well at their behavior are too noisy, takes screen photos and uses phone on screen. There's still a lot to work on but for me at least the magic of moviegoing is still being kept alive! 

New Place

 

I will miss their old location! They have been there for decades already but looks like the site will be demolished so they have to move but at least it's somewhere near! 

Swatch

 There are good things coming in which is a relief after that very stressful stretch. I'm always afraid I will jinx it because I'm so paranoid. But I need to relax! Calm down, things are at least okay and maybe looking up! We'll see!

PDF

I was reading a discussion on Reddit about counterfeit books, and I was taken aback by some people rationalizing that it is okay. I don't like the idea of other people making money illegally from someone else's hard work. If you feel conflicted about this, imagine that you are the one who created something but someone else is making money off the thing you worked hard for; is that okay with you? Writing (or liberal arts in general) is not considered a career where you can make a living, and if support for counterfeiting and piracy keeps increasing to the point where it's normalized, the craft gets even more devalued. 

Ought

I've been reading a lot of job/career-related subreddits, sometimes I give out advice especially new graduates asking questions in the "should I accept this job offer with only this salary" lane and I always say that unless you are a breadwinner or you can afford to wait to get the job in the salary range you want, then go take it because you have to start somewhere and get that experience as soon as you can. I've been noticing a lot of generational divide when it comes to asking/negotiating salaries for new graduates/entry level jobs and while I'm all for getting the ideal salary in this economy but you also have to be practical, yes we should demand for better but the reality is different and sometimes you have to compromise to reach a stepping stone that could potentially lead to somewhere better.

Bananas

Gen Z is often criticized for being too soft or for pushing back often, and honestly good on them. Sure, it's a case-by-case basis, and life in general needs compromises, but if they can hold on and fight for what is right and ideal, I won't hold it against them. I wish I were like that sometimes, but it's too late for me. I'm too tired of everything to push back, just want to avoid stressful situations as much as I can because I've been through a lot and still dealing with so many things that always test my tolerance and patience, It's diffcult living this way but as always I gotta power through because basically I have no choice. Well, maybe there is but the aftermath of taking that road will also be hard on me. So yeah, it is what it is. 

130

 I'm frustrated, and once again I have no other choice but to suck it up. I don't want to feel miserable so I just try to shove it but no matter how I try to be careful, there's always a slip-up. Oh well, nothing much I can but gripe in silence. 

Basin

 I brought it upon myself; I should have just kept quiet or done my usual nodding, but I just had to show my slight annoyance, and the floodgates opened. The day barely started, and it's already ruined. The weather is not helping too, of course. I empathize with the feelings, and I know I'm just being the absorber, per usual, as I am the one who can only deal with things and not fight back, to my own detriment. But that's what it is. Anyway, I should really be more alert and hide everything I feel better. No point even saying things because it's a lose-lose situation; I'm just gonna choose where I can find some peace. There's no hope for change anymore; you just have to find a way to work around it with as little damage as possible. It sucks but that's the story of my life. 

Pili Pinas

 Listened the 10 songs competing for the Philippine Selection Night for Eurovision Asia and my top 3

1. Cheri(e)

2. Sobra Sobra

3. Broken Beyond Repair

Gil Puyat

 Thank goodness I was already in the building when it rained so hard earlier, the downpour was so hard so the streets nearby were heavily flooded! Our exact location didn't suffer heavy flooding though but still going there was a challenge due to the flooding the chaos that ensued! I clocked out early because of fear of getting stranded and when I was at the bus terminal, there were lines already and minimal number of buses, I did manage to catch a bus with ease though thank God! After the commute was smooth and no heavy raining. Oh, commuting in a rainy season is next level hard!

Swings

Ah, one of those nights yet again. Always trying to keep it all in to avoid an unnecessary blow-up, which would only stress me out on top of everything that has been annoying me. I always remind myself to be patient because there's really nothing I can do but that, nothing ever changes. If it does sometimes it's for the worst so I always do my best to prevent that. 

Ray

 So glad it was mostly sunny day with only scattered rainshowers. Last Saturday was so hard so glad it wasn't the case this time. Hoping for a sunny week ahead because the rains have exposed some stuff in our house that needs fixing

Eight

 I feel like I need to do something to help out but I also feel like maybe I'm doing way too much at my own detriment? But I don't know my natural self just leans to do this as it is the right thing.  But I also feel lazy to do it too! Yeah, I'm such a mess right now!

The Game of Love 2026

 Michelle Branch released a new version of The Game of Love this time with New Radicals! This versions works so well for me! The vibe is so perfect for me!

Selection!

 There's some Eurovision Song Contest Asia here now because the 10 songs and the interpreters have been revealed already! Mostly young and newcomers actually but the composers are really top-notch. I've never really followed Eurovision but looking forward to it now that we have it; let's see if it works in our market!

Sweet July

 Another new release that I'm loving Take That's Sweet July! This was a band that before last year I've only known because of Back for Good their mega smash in the 90s! But I discovered their discography last year and the music they made when they reunited are so good! And this new release from them immeditely got my attention! They are really talented!

Still

 While checking out new songs (or new to me!) on Spotify stumbled upon this track from KAROL G's new album, a duet with Bruno Mars! Loved it at first listen! A type of song that was popular when I was child in the 90s!

Increment

 There were some sunshine today but still overall it was another rainy day! I'm so sick of it already but what can we do right but just move on and do our things! I felt a little off for the past two days too but I need to power through yet again!

Damp

 Rain, rain go away! Yeah, I hated the hot weather too but it's just hard to function on consecutive days of rainfall! 

Switch

 I really hope the weather will be better tomorrow because there is something that needs to be done urgently and can only be done safely with better weather. It's strressing me out and kinda spoiled the good news I have been waiting for so long. But still grateful for blessings and hoping for better future ahead. 

Mixed

I really hope it won't rain anymore tomorow because there are some things that needs to be done that a dry weather is much needed! Quite a hassle day but there was some sad news in the middle too then some good news later, so what a whiplash of emotions for me today! 

Boosted!

 Finally! After those months of agony and uncertainty, some good news finally came in! Thank you Lord for listening to my prayer. It's still a tough road ahead but today gave me a much needed morale boost!

Rooster

 Watched HBO Max show Rooster starring Steve Carell and I'm  loving it so far! My kind of show, light but heartfelt. It's about a writer reconnecting with her adult daughter, whose marriage is imploding. Wonderful show so far and looking forward to finish all episodes of season 1

Sonunda!

 Finally, something came in! It's not much but at least one thing off my list. Still more to go but frankly I'm just grateful something finally came in because the drought has been so difficult for me! Let it pour in please!

HOLLY!

 New song discovery just by randomly looking at Spotify playlists! Holly by The Camino! So catchy! I already like a song from them from years ago (I Think I Love You) so glad to stumble upon another good song from them! 

Shoulder

 New month, new hope. The last month was rough. Hoping and praying for good news next week. It's been so hard to get by these days but I always try my best to survive. I always think that it could have been so much worse, over and over again. 

Prophecy

On thin ice again, and I'm a bit nervous. I'm already thinking of the possibility that this could be it, but I don't want that to happen because I like my comfort zone and a sense of stability. But I don't want to be caught off guard, so I need to be ready for any possible scenario and what my options are, oh my goodness!

Georgie & Mandy

 All caught up with Georgie and Mandy's First Marriage Season 2! I really like the story about the business, and they finally made good use of Ruben. I also still like the family-related stories, and I do think they are building up a good case for why this is their "first marriage" without going all out dramatic.

Closer

 Well, it's been a really challenging couple of weeks, months. I do see a ray of light, but I don't want to jinx it, so managing my expectations. But seriously, it has been so tough and really tested my patience and resilience! I hope everything settles soon. Badly need it!

Calmer

 The one thing I'm good at is pacifying things, controlling things from escalating. I had a rough couple of days but thank God I didn't lash out at anyone because it would just have made it worse. Venting here on the internet really helps me process what I feel and let out all the toxins in my mind. I really don't want to make other people uncomfortable because of the things that make me go insane. I've been at the receiving end of those kind of meltdowns so I know better.

Cooler

 It's really hard out there so I really hope I won't have to do it but the longer I wait the harder it gets. It's taking too long and the pressure increases. Struggling really hard now. 

Romanticizing

 Now I'm dreaming of a scenario where I'm in a much better spot but then skepticism comes in. I'm just afraid to take a leap. I'm afraid I missed my shot.  I don't know I'm so confused because of this uncertainty for months. It's so hard, this is consuming me so much. 

4pm

 Annoyed but what can I do but be the one to adjust since I'm at fault for tolerating it to avoid conflicts. Yeah, I'm a pushover. I don't know maybe someday all the things I endure could lead to good things. 

Stretched

That's why I can never be confident. Disappointed with myself but I'm at fault. I need to get rid of things dragging me. I get lazy and complacent. I need to get back to my old self again and focus better. I am whining deep inside when I knew why things have turned out that way. I need to change my mindset.

Fumbled

 Tired of waiting, but I don't have a choice. But moments like this make me wonder if I should have been bold enough. I closed some doors because I believed it was the right thing to do, but now it's making me reconsider those decisions I made. Well, things were still okay then but these past few months have really challenged me. Waiting and waiting, hoping this will be okay, but it looks like nothing is gonna happen soon. I'll be okay once something actually happens, but there is no movement at all. I'm worried sick. I get irritated easily because of that, but of course I don't lash out at anyone; I just keep it all in. Sometimes I even to talk myself outloud when I'm alone or even when I'm along just to release those thoughts in my head.It's so hard. 

Bugs

Struggling is the game, doubting is the same.

Keeping afloat, afraid to rock the boat.

Itching to do something, but things are keeping it from happening.

It hurts when you reflect,  look away and deflect. 

Who Said

 Still nothing. I'm getting worried but life goes on. Hoping and praying always that this week will be it. It's been that way for the past 3 months but as much as I'm really desperate to have that finally I know the situation right now is so shaky. Oh dear Lord, please guide us!

A little more!

 Close to finish! I've been productive, although I snuck in some leisurely time so I won't get too pressured. I think it worked but as always I could do better!

Everyday

 I planned to do something this weekend but predictably chose not to do it. I do feel a little off for various reasons and I wanted to give myself a break from everything. But honestly, it's not a total reprieve, just a little. I'm all kinds of exhausted but the ones bugging my mind constantly is so hard to deal with. But I move along and always hoping, praying, for the best.

Tango

 Binging Georgie and Mandy on HBO Max PH and I really enjoy having some light to watch with so many things on my mind lately. I need an escape even for a short time. Life is so tough,

Moving Around

 So many stressful things going on behind everything. I'm okay not to know the whole story but this tidpits that I receive every now and then is not really helping things though! I'm getting scared, I want to make my plans but I have my apprehensions too. There's a lot at stake but I've faced many battles before that I survived but this is just on a next level of stress! Oh dear Lord, guide us.

Goals

 So I've been watching reactions on the Argentina vs England game at the World Cup today! Yes, I don't know anything about football, but I love big events like this and seeing how people react. The communal experience just gives me a good feeling!

Swings

 Not really a good start of the day when you continue to get bothered. I don't want to feel this way especially when I was reminded yesterday of the worst case scenario. However, I can't stop myself to feel annoyed from time to time but as always I always have to be the one to adjust and keep everything in to prevent things from escalating. All I really want is to have a peace of mind, even just a semblance of it from time to time because I know life is this way and will always throw curveballs. I just feel so annoyed, frustrated and deep down just plain sad.

6.2k

 Still nothing, and things keep piling. I'm getting so worried and frustrated! But no choice but wait, overthink, struggle then go along anyway. It's so hard sometimes... or maybe all the time. I don't know I just feel so restless with everything going on. Oh Dear Lord please guide me.

Turning Point!

 The pandemic! Before that I was thinking of resigning then COVID hit and our company managed to survive although there are ups and downs (downsizing with office space and personnel), I learned to appreciate my workplace kasi they fought hard to keep us afloat and now very flexible sa time, pwede mag WFH anytime which was so essential when my family had health issues from time to time. Sa pandemic din naging breadwinner na ako sa bahay, basically taking care of the bills and medicines for my parents. I was a bit of a free spirit pre-pandemic but sobrang nabago during the pandemic, I never thought I could handle big responsibilities but somehow thank God I was able to manage. And eto rin period na 'to what made me decide na I would rather stay single na lang and focus on taking care / looking after my family because I don't think I can be fair if I'll ever have my own family kasi divided attention ko (plus practically speaking di kaya ng finances)

Two-Way

 For the first time in two months, I won't have something to stress about the next day! Admittedly, I've been so messy on Mondays due to my own lapses. I still have things to improve but at least I didn't let myself get caught up with avoiding doing things. Hopefully, I can keep this up next week and perhaps improve and get things in order.

Annoyed and Stressed

All the time. One thing happens every other time, or worse both. I couldn't express my frustration because I don't want to escalate things further. So many things on my shoulders... on my mind. Oh, well. I know that's life. Just venting here as usual so I could be normal in practical apperances. 

Rain Drop

Heavy rainfall today, and I'm so glad, working at home is an option! Commuting when it is raining is extra hard, so even if the humidity is also a pain, I prefer that because I function better. But I know we need rains too but typhoons are scary! Glad the rainfall today wasn't as hard as expected. Thank God. 

2026 Emmy Nominations Random Thoughts!

• Happy for Shailene Woodley's nod for Parasides, she deserves it so much!
• Glad Abbott Elementary is still holding on, especially that Directing nod, well-deserved! Janelle James survived, whew!
• Task missing series after getting key nominations is so odd, especially this is an 8-nominee field
• Industry is never gonna make it!
• Meg Stalter, yes! I love her on Hacks!
• Allison Janney! Her nomination drought post-Mom is over. She's so good on The Diplomat
• The Amazing Race snubbed for the first time ever! I blame the US Big Brother connection last season!
• Love Island host getting that nomination, series nod next year?
• Apple TV really came on strong! Widow's Bay potentially challenging Hacks gives the category some suspense
• That Wonder Man nod is fun, bumping Jeremy Allen White, who would have thought

Buffere

 The drought continued so I had no choice but go to my safety net. It was quite heavy in the heart but I had to do it to keep things steady. I still hope and pray for good news to come soon!

Indoor

 Okay I have no choice I guess. Today I made a move to lessen a worry. But the biggest worry I have still out there. I hope it comes in soon! Still, patiently waiting and I hope when it comes it will really pour in because I badly need it. I hope this will be the week!

Earth

 Still waiting for something to pour in. I know why it hasn't happened yet but nonetheless the waiting game has been so difficult! I've been holding off doing some things because of this. I really hope there's good new this week.

9AM

I was reckless today and did some petty nonsense. Hopefully, it's just this week and I get better next time because I can't afford to lose their trust which I worked hard for. Need to get my act together. 

Appreciation

 When I was a kid I was quite sheltered because I was sickly so I never thought in my late 30s I will be the one who will be looking after my parents. It was surreal at first when I realized na baligtad na situation but I am proud of how far I've come kasi di ko akalain na magiging ganito ako ka-mature and responsible given na I was so sheldependent when I was young. It's nerve-wracking to be honest but I've come to appreciate how my parents took care and raise children, I totally understand how difficult it was and they pulled it off so well!

Honestly

 The past few months have been rough as I witnessed layoffs in the company. I think my job is safe but you'll never know so I'm already thinking of backup plans just in case the worst scenario happens. I'll be turning 39 in a few months, and the thought of possibly losing a job and looking for a new one is making me anxious! I haven't tried to look for a new job since 2020! I really hope and pray the company will stabilize in the coming months! 

Fizzle

 Another week with no development in that regard. Well, there's still tomorrow! Maybe I get lucky then! I'm very nervous with everything going on and there are definitely red flags! But I just have to hold on to hope! Oh Dear Lord, please...

Seventeen!

 

I remember the feeling when I posted this. I was nervous but hopeful na tumagal ako dito, at least one year man lang! And I'm still here, 17 years later! I went through a lot, survived many challenges, and learned a lot along the way! Forever grateful to my 20 Plus family!

Pisces

Finally done with one of the toughest projects ever! I could have done better but I was quite messy this month but thank God, everything did good overall. However, I'm still worried about some things and I really hope some good news will come eventually. Please!!

Blemishes

I don't want to admit it for years but I definitely feel some regret not taking care of myself physically. It's a mix of laziness and just lack of will really because I just felt what's the point. But now as I age and see how I look, oh yeah. But it is what it is. I'm getting more walking in public with my baldness, I used to wear caps all the time but the heat just made it so difficult to always wears caps. I'm nearing 40 anyway so yeah just accept that I look way older because of my baldness. My skin has a lot imperfections too, I used to ignored but now seeing some undesirable spots made me feel sad again but again it is what it is. And my teeh, oh year, the horror! I forgot about the fatness too. Oh well.  It's good to finally let these thoughts out. I accept myself for what I am but sometimes insecurity consumes me. But I have other biggers challenges in life to stress myself about these things. 

Tables

 Tired all day, then you have to face an outburst of stupid nature. I'm so tempted to lash out but I know it will lead to nothing, and I will be at the losing end yet again. Always a lose-lose situation for me. I am so tired of it all. It's a neverending cycles of discomfort and loneliness. I hate to admit it to myself but that's where I am. While I had some inkling of how it would be for me when I reached this age, now that it is happening, it sucks so bad. I just repress what I feel because how could I survive the daily struggle if  I just let it dampen my spirit. I still continue to fight, make adjustments to make everyone comfortable, even if it inconveniences. I stepped back from doing major moves because I don't want to shake the stability. The times I tried to sneak in some personal liberty, something happens that draws me back in. I am overwhelmed with complications emoton that I just try to dismiss, pretend I don't feel. But damn  everytime something unnecessary causes me stress I reel back in this state of mind. At least on the inside because my surface level pretends to be calm and collected because I don't want further stressful times, I am tired. I am tried. I've had enough. But I have no choice. I am trapped in a cage that I voluntarily entereed.

Hexagon

Thinking of maximizing another option due to recent hardships! I've been particularly avoiding it because of trauma caused by others. But I do think I've been responsible enough not to fall for the same mistakes I once saw from other people. I better be. 

Relentless

 I keep hoping you will realize that you are going out of line over something so inconsequential. But I gave up hope you will ever realize that because you say are already way too caught up with this delusion that you are careless with what you say. You don't appreciate all the things I have sacrificed everytime this senseless, totally worthless thing does not go your way. I sometimes am tempted to confront you but I know nothing will come out of it because at this point there is no changing this stupidity anymore. So here I go, taking the punches because I gave up and just chose the less stressful option. I will do the adjustment per usual, Nothing will change. I will still be the receive of your nonsense rants and I will stupidly just choose to receive it. Maybe who knows one day I get to be happy. I mean, really happy. I will cling on to that 1% hope. 

Zoom Bats

 Here I go again wishing for something better. These self-defeating thoughts always cross my mind everytime I deal with unnecessary stress. I deserve so much better but this is the kind of life I chose because I care at the end of the day. I don't want to take for granted that in general life is OK and I had so much worse experience but sometimes I just feel so frustrated wishing I had a more ideal life, more comfortable, less worries. But I always keep myself in check and this posting this in the internet void helps me unload so I can be "normal" on the outside. I can't show my full emotion because it would just add complication and I don't want complications anymore. 

Logging

 Just when you are going through a lot of things on your mind here comes unnecessary stress but I have no choice but to deal with this thing as patiently as possible because fighting back / putting them in their place gives me anxiety too so weighing two unpleasant feelings I would just go with the option where it's give me less stressful feeling. It sucks to be me sometimes.... or most of the time these days? Anyway, just burry it and focus energy elsewhere

Tough

 I'm getting worried because nothing has come up yet and I badly need it. It made me think of exploring other worlds you know but I don't know I'm too occupied but everything is catching up. It's making me wonder again if this is all worth it? But I like the convenience as this point of my life especially when other factors come in. But if it's only me, I would have taken the plunge but no longer the case. Oh dear Lord, please hear my prayer.

Hitches

 Another chaotic day and I still have so many pending things to do. There's some stressors popping out too! But I can handle this! I know I can. But dear Lord, please hoping for some good news tomorrow, I'm really struggling now!!!

Gunaydin

 I will try my best next week to be on time again. I don't know I've been giving excuses that this giving adrenaline rush is better but it is not. Always chaotic. Anyway, hoping for a better week ahead too and one of the things I've been hoping for pushes through. 

Hidden

 It's so humid again. Aircon usage is high thus high electrcity bills that gives me headaches. Life is so tough! Drained in so many ways! I can't function well too or the best that I could! So tough!

TeleNovela PH

 My old channel TeleNovela Channel is sort of back! It's now a YouTube Channel (using our old handle) named TeleNovela PH! We are uploading the tagalog dub of Love Spell (Sortilegio) beginning this week! I hope it works!

0521

 So I made judgment call today which I do really believe is for the better. I followed my hunch. I just want to prioritize the present and not worry to much with the future because some don't handle things well! I hope I am right. Please lord

Droplets

It has really been so hectic, my goodness! But of course I like it and I prefer it to be this way of course! Hoping for something to come though because it's been quite awhile waiting for it. I'm patient of course but I really hope it will pour in soon so I can set aside some things!

Panoramic

Another long day ahead, I hope I can finish everything I need to do. Also, one thing I'm putting off will be done this week. I'm nervous as always, but I can't show it for other people's sake. It's hard to be the one to shoulder everything but one good thing about it is that it builds character. I'm definitely not the same as I was 10 years ago, Lord, please guide me.

Ahead

 I try not to think about it but I know deep inside, I'm screwed. I just need to keep things stable as much as I can even if I will be at the losing end. I always have to adjust. I guess it's my fate all along. A payback of some sorts for all the inconvenience I caused decades ago. I have no problem with it in the grand scheme of things but sometimes when you get beaten down for no good reason other than being the easy target, I feel so much resentment. I don't want to feel it but small snide comments I try to brush off still cuts deep. I don't deserve to be treated that way no matter what.  But I really have no choice. Maybe someday I can find some sort of happiness. I wish so. I deserve it too.

Offer

 You did something out of respect and what do you get in return? Nastiness. Misplaced nastiness. You say sorry for nothing bad really because reasoning out is futile. Closed mind. Tired but what else is new. Miserable. Low key misery. Just keep it in. Like always.

Nap

 I took an afternoon nap and had a realistic dream. Yeah, it's my subconscious telling me it's not okay, but I have no choice, right? It's quite a downer but I just have to continue marching on. Lord, give me the strength. 

6K

Okay, I expected this so I didn't have to be surpsied. If they only knew, right? But I'm protecting them and it's a necessity. That's why I was holding off things for this moment. It's just that some things got delayed so I had to resort to do this again. But it's okay, could have been worse. Better than this than the more terrible timeline

Supply

I'm here facing things beyond my control again. It makes me evaluate my choices again. But I know I will still end up in the same place because there is nothing I can do at this point but just be frustrated deep inside and show strength on the outside. But I'm having a hard time. I want something more but still in my comfort zone. I don't know

Filter

I'm tired doing some things but I have to do it for my peace of mind too because some they just don't change and trying to make them realize their flaws is futile. So here I go and I take the plunge. It's irritating most of the time but if I don't do t then there would be unnecessart stress coming and yes, I don't want that!

There

Life's been hectic lately but all good. This is better than be idle. I also appreciate the fact that I don't get to absorb other things anymore unlike the previous one where I understand the need to vent but  I also get affected with negative energy and I can't focus on the things I need to do. But I do care, I just realized I need a safe distance to not get swallowed in. 

Remember?

 One of the busiest I've been and it's still not over! But this one thing I'm doing right now reminds me of the pandemic days and the eerie feeling it once had. It's been six years. Time flies but I'm not nostalgic for that moment. The uncertainty was nerve-wracking

Festi

 I love that this area of Festival Mall Alabang has been practically the same for over 20 years! It's still well-maintained pa rin naman the last I time I'vr been here. Riding the train here was such an exciting moment for 10-year old me back then!

via  South Metro Manila FB

Twist of Fate on YouTube!

 The first two episodes of Solarflixph Pinoy Dub of the Turkish romcom series Twist of Fate are out on YouTube now! I've worked on the dubbing scripts for both episodes. One of the hardest projects I've worked on, but also very enjoyable!

Expires

 My Disney+ annual subscription ends today! I bought one last year when they had a big sale where an annual subscription just cost under 500 pesos! I cancelled immediately so my online debit card will not get auto renewed! I'm always conscious with those things! Anyway, I will subscribe again once they do a promo again lol or just for one month when I actually have spare time to watch! 

Tights

 Jampacked days ahead and I must not waste! I could do all of this if I don't have other duties to do so it's gonna be another challenge for me ahead! But I could do this! I wanted this! I want the blessings to pour in! Because things are not really okay or on shaky grounds! It sucks but such is life!

55

 Always making me feel annoyed. I have a lot in my mind then add unnecessary stress. The cycle goes on. I know I'm being taken advantage but I just accepted it because I don't want drama but i don't know, the annoying powers won't stop.

Waiting Time

 Things are loading up again and it's fine because this at least provides some security. I really hope the things got delayed will finally see the light this week? Crossing my fingers hard!

Drizzle

 Right on the mark of June 1st, the rain came! It didn't alleviate the humidity that much though! But at least it's a little less insane compared to the past couple of weeks. But honestly, I couldn't function better when it's raining compared to the intense summer heat. Commuting is harder too! But oh well, that's how life is!