Here I go again wishing for something better. These self-defeating thoughts always cross my mind everytime I deal with unnecessary stress. I deserve so much better but this is the kind of life I chose because I care at the end of the day. I don't want to take for granted that in general life is OK and I had so much worse experience but sometimes I just feel so frustrated wishing I had a more ideal life, more comfortable, less worries. But I always keep myself in check and this posting this in the internet void helps me unload so I can be "normal" on the outside. I can't show my full emotion because it would just add complication and I don't want complications anymore.
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