I'm struggling with my pessimism lately. Of course, I keep it to myself because I don't want to be that person I don't like dealing with, a person full of negativity. I'm deeply worried about one aspect of my life and in lull moments I think of what would I do if the nightmare I'm imagining actually happens. I knock on wood furiously each time my mind crosses that. It's a superstition I got from my family where if you do that you could stop something bad from happening but to be honest it has become a mechanism for me to stop myself from going even deeper with negative thoughts. It ain't easy to be in constant fear and the past two years didn't help things further. It's quite a miracle I'm standing tall as it is. Oh Lord please don't let these nightmares' I have from happening. I'm begging you.
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