Sunday, April 11, 2021

Tipping the Balance.

 So yeah that fleeting feeling I had yesterday of signing up to that online writing workshop faded away. I just returned to reality that I just can't afford it. My practical side always win. Not gonna lie it makes me sad that I can't do it due to financial constraints but hey I needed the money to help out house expenses and maintenance medicines for my parents too. The money I would have paid for that seminar could already buy many of my mother's prescriptions. Our car will need oil change soon as well so i contribute on that. Then of course bills after bills. Not gonna lie I do dream of living an independent life you know where all I think about is just me. But I don't regret looking out for my parents' welfare and really I could have done more if I made better career choices, money wise.  I really won't stop feeling inadequate so pursuing something of personal interest at the expense of general family needs is something I just can't do. It hurts when I think about it so I just avoid so I won't drown. 

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