Monday, March 21, 2022

Preempt

 There are reasons for me to get excited about but I'm trying to manage my expectations because I don't know I feel like there something that's gonna happen that could spoil it. I can't be happy because there must be a catch. I know this is ridiculous to think this way but I just can't help it. My fear always lurks in because I feel like if I let my guard down, something could sneak in that would just put me low spirits,. If I prepare for the worst case scenarios now maybe it would soften the blow? No, if my fears happen I would be devastated so I think I'm preventing myself to feel happiness to prepare myself? Oh goodness I'm such a mess inside. 

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