A stressful night again due to family matters. So many fragile factors I have to consider. It's testing me so much and honestly not handling it the best way I need to be. I feel so annoyed and terrified too. But I can't be weak right now, I need to be stern or else everything else falls. That's why I can never feel at ease. I can never be comfortable because something dreadful will happen eventually. I hate to be drowning in misery most of the time I escape sometimes but still within the vicinity where I can jump back in when needed. I don't want to give up of course but it's just so hard.
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