I Love KC

I was so nostalgic today. An integral part of my childhood was listening to the radio. Yes, as a child I stay indoors most of the time because I always get sick. And well I spent my childhood with home-based past times, there's television and reading local komiks. But one of the special things I enjoyed doing was listening to the radio and my all time favorite station is 93.9 WKC "We are Family". The station was catered to the so-called masa audience but they are not the kind of masa station that we have now. 93.9 WKC was wholesome and cute and very child- friendly to say the least. Some of the DJs have 'sidekicks' which are very 'cartoonish' with some derived from the "Sesame Street Characters" which includes my personal favorite, The Count, who hosted the music countdown of the station of course. The Count, I guess is the one to blame why I became a chart geek :D
I really adored this station. I always listen to it whenever I can.And dreamed that someday I could work for the station.
In early 2000, the station reformatted to become 939 KC FM and recruited popular DJs Chico and Delamar of RX 93.1 that is when the station became an upscale station. This happened during my early teens and the reformatted KC still won my heart and became my favorite station once more even though they are now in a new format. I love the programming of the station, very listener friendly and not pretentious. KC still retained their charm. This was the logo of the 93.9 KCFM:

But on May 15, 2002, 93.9 KC FM had its final airing. And you know what, even though this is embarassing to admit, I cried during their last day. It was really a sad day, I remember I was tuned in the all day from Chico and Delamar's farewell to the last show which ended around 6 pm. The last song played was "Goodbye" by the Spice Girls. After that, it was an end of an era for me. I was really attached with KC, since I really grew up with this station. A few months after, 93.9 became the home of iFM, a masa station in the mold of the top-rater 90.7 Love Radio.
I admit I hated that station to death but as years pass by I accepted it. KC FM will not comeback. I'm not a fan of iFM, I guess will never be, but I don't hate it. That's life as they say and they provide employment and some people enjoy their station. But not me. Maybe I'm bias haha.
I still became a radio geek especially countdowns but no station ever replaced 93.9 WKC/KC FM in my heart.

***

Every time May 15 comes near I will always remember the last days of KC FM. Like today, we are three days shy to the 6th "death anniversary" of KC FM. And well this morning I was browsing the friendster accounts of some of today's DJs and I thought of searching for the accounts of former KC FM jocks and I did it by using the search by company function of Friendster and well I found the account of Vincent Garucho/VinzG, a former DJ of DWKC's two eras. I send him a private message expressing how I missed the station and gave him the link of the "Anyone Still Remembers KC FM?" thread I made at PinoyExchange.com.
And guess what after a few minutes HE REPLIED! And what's even great is that he registered at PinoyExchange and posted in the thread and we sort of chatted with him for about two hours in the thread, we were reminiscing about the good ol days of WKC/KC FM and what they are doing right now. He even shared some pictures! And I like this one that he posted in the forum:

I guess it's safe for me to say in behalf of the WKC air crew THANK YOU! You've made our jobs... those late late nights, holiday-less days, long work-filled weekends and taxing mall tours all worth while. hehehe. It was more fun and play than actual work with people like
you!

I feel so happy that I was sort of instrumental for him to realized how KC FM and the people behind it left a significant impact to a lot of people. DWKC may be gone but it will never be forgotten.

***
P.S
Check this out: http://web.archive.org/web/20001018205719/http://www.939kcfm.8k.com/
That was the old website of 939 KC FM.
Big thanks to whoever preserved the website.

The Ultimate Chart Geek Moment

Campus 99.5 Weekend Top 20 @ 12/ May 9,2008

20. The Way I Am-Ingrid Michaelson
19. 4 Minutes-Madonna feat Justin Timberlake
18. Realize-Colbie Caillat
17. Love Song-Sarah Bareilles
16. Empty-The Click Five
15. Rule #1 Wag Mo Aaminin-Overtone
14. Almost Lover-A Fine Frenzy
13. Teardrops on my Guitar-Taylor Swift
12. Forget About Me-Little Bit
11. Evidence-Urbandub
10. With You-Chris Brown
09. Low-Flo Rida feat T-Pain
08. No Air-Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown
07. Chasing Pavements-Adele
06. When You Look me in the Eyes-Jonas Brothers
05. All Around Me-Flyleaf
04. Take a Bow-Rihanna
03. Damn Regret-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
02. Leavin-Jesse McCartney
01. Always Be My Baby-David Cook
***

So why did I post that? Well, last night [which is just a few hours ago] I won in the contest of Campus 99.5's Weekend Top 20 @ 12. There were two ways to win, one on the phone and the other on the YM. I joined the latter since I don't have the means to call their station [no landline at home]. The contest is name all the songs played in the countdown in order and guess the remaining songs, I submitted my answer when the song reached no.5. I almost did not win since my first guess was Damn Regret is no.2 and Leavin at no.3 but I changed my mind the last minute. And well my last minute change was the right decision after all. I was so friggin happy when The Triggerman congratulated me on air! Of course he had difficulty on how to pronounce my name hahaha.
So what's my prize? I actually forgot what were those, I think I got gift certificatea to some spa and Triggerman's restaurant. Believe it or not, I did not care about the prize when I joined the contest I just want to win. Kinda lame, eh? Winning this contest is a big achievement for a chart geek like me, hahaha.
Well, you see I've been this chart geek since I was 10 and of course Top 20 @ 12 is already legendary and I remember back in the day how I wish I could join the "guessing game" of the show since most of the time my guesses were correct and I get frustrated to the callers who don't get the correct answers. But I don't have the means to call the show plus I'm terrified to call hahahaha.
And well,times have changed. Campus Radio shut down last year but was resurrected this year on the 99.5 frequency. I remember anticipating the return of the top 20 @ 12 but during the first few weeks of Campus 99.5, top 20 @ 12 was still off air. And I found out through Pinoyexchange.com that upon the return of the countdown, Triggerman will not host it anymore (However he is still connected with Campus 99.5, as it turns out, he is the current station manager of the station). But we, "die hard fans" petitioned to convince the Triggerman to go back and it was a success as two weeks ago The Top 20 @ 12 returned in the airwaves with the Triggerman at helm. I was able to chat with him on his return through Campus 99.5's YM. I was even part of those who did a live coverage on his return at Pinoyexchange.com.
Last week, the guessing game on the top 20 @ 12 returned but I still could not join coz we don't have a landline anymore and I don't have enough load to call through my cellphone. But I shared my top 5 prediction with Triggerman through YM and got 3/5.
And when I found out that there will be also a contest through YM also, I was so ecstatic since I could now have a shot on winning. And I did!
I'm excited to get my prizes next week at the Campus 99.5 booth. Although I admit I'm more excited to see the station rather than the prizes itself. I'm hoping to see the Triggerman, Jimmy jam or John Hendrix when I go there.
I'm just so happy. I still could not sleep hahaha.

Remembering Funny Komiks (A Revisit)

I posted "Remembering Funny Komiks" blog entry two years ago. So why I am reposting this again? Well, I was a bit surprised that long after I posted this entry, I still received comments every now and then. And it was good to see that I was not alone, marami din pala kaming mga laking Funny Komiks. And today this blog entry received another comment and guess from whom---- from someone who used to work with Funny Komiks! Wow! I was so suprised, too bad s/he commented anonymously :(
Anyway, I'll once again share to you my brief but heartfelt nod to the legendary Filipino Funny Komiks For Children

The topic of reminiscing my favorite comics FUNNY KOMIKS [FK] came up when I read a friend's blog. I really love funny komiks,I have collected it for a decade. I started when I was 4, the age when I don't even know how to read yet, my brother just read that to me. Actually, my family is a huge fan of komiks, my siblings were the initial people who collected funny komiks, namana ko lang. Too bad their collection was burned when we had a fire in the place we use to live in (Sta. Ana Manila). When we moved here in Cavite the first thing I looked for is their is someone selling funny komiks, luckily I found not just one but two magazine stalls selling FK. My real motivation to learn how to read is FUNNY KOMIKS, I dont want to depend on my siblings anymore. I want to experience it. I continued my funny komiks for a long time. I even send my drawings (na binakat ko lang naman) and my works were published. That's my first experience in seeing my name on print. It happened twice, the first one though my name was misspelled [Jecusp Asombruelo] I guess that happened because of my awful penmanship that why I made it sure the next time that my handwriting is legible already. I witness how the price of the comics became higher as years goes by.It started at 3.50 then 5 then 7 then 9 until it reached 17.50! I stopped buying FK when I was in 3rd year highschool because I just find not entertaining anymore,it lost it charm,its becoming anime-ish. But my 7 years worth of collection is still with me (too bad I had lots of issues that got lost), and I will never throw it away nor sell it to the junkshop. It's a part of my life already. I dont know if FK is still in circulation but the stall I used to buy it does not sell anymore. Sad.

***
now I will post the comments I received for this entry:

from Miyon Emorej

hello! I'm a Funny Komiks reader. FK was the medium for me to have new friends. Uso noon yung mga penpal penpal hehe.. Too bad they stopped publishing... =(

from river

Must say I can relate to that... the motivation to read... though its tagalog, I think it made me able to read at age 4. Plus the creative touch, its (FK)where my first influence in art came from. Now I work as a graphic artist in an advertising and promotions company. If i am not mistaken FK started around 1978-1979. my dad used to buy ir till the late 90's. That influenced me to collect comics by marvel, dc, and image in my highschool years.Just wonderin' if someone out there would shell out upto what extent for FK's # 1 issue. (",)

from pyrolactus

hello, I'm a funny komiks reader too,
some of my copies was already damaged by termites, I've read that your collection was still with you, I'm looking for some 33 issues of funny komiks... I have those but those are the copies that are already damage.. a scan copy will do, not the whole komiks but
rather a small part of it... If you have a spare time for the poor guy. which is me, drop me an email: pyrolactus@gmail.com , I'll tell you there the issue numbers of the funny komiks I'm looking for... T.I.A

from GZO

hello!my dad used to buy ir till the late 90's. That influenced me to collect comics by marvel, dc, and image in my highschool years.Just wonderin' if someone out there would shell out upto what extent for FK's # 1 issue. (",)

from an anonymous person

yo, there! it's gud 2 know dat der's still sum of us hu misses funny komiks, 2. well, i was a collector since 1983. i can remember obliging my uncles 2 buy me a copy of the komiks everyweek... without giving them money 2 buy it... only, i lost d copies i intented 2 collect sana... more dan 2 decades thereafter, i can still recall my fave strips like planet op di eyps, superdog, niknok, bing bam bung, gong di egol, mr & mrs, noon.. ngayon... not to mention deyr weekly feature abt Filipino heroes... i wish i could still see old copies of my favorite komiks...

from "traxor"

kewl...i'm also using traxor as my alias which is the character of the comic serial (AX ryt?) where i think you got your alias. I stil have a few copies left in my house...it's darn good to reminisce your childhood once in a while

and the most special comment I received

enjoy na enjoy ako reading those comments about funny komiks. brings back lots of memories. dati kasi akong member ng funny komiks family, kami nina larry alcala of bim bam bum, ls martinez of superkat, vic crisostomo niknok, tenny henson little angel, atbp.

Whoever you are sir/mam, THANK YOU! Be proud you became part of FK. You were a part of something that brought joy to thousands of Filipino kids for decades. I'm proud that I'm part of that special group.
Funny Komiks was legendary and I'm glad I experienced the joy of waiting every week to find out what will happen next to my story. It was one of those simple pleasures in life.
I sometimes hope today's kids was able to experience this.

Cry

That's all I do when I feel so bad. Although I do cry in private. Like now when everyone here at home are asleep. I just feel so bad today. I hate being weak. Weak physically. Weak emotionally.
I'm so frustrated at things in my life right now.
When will this end?
I'm so tired.

Coincidence?

Today, after a month, I finally finished my school clearance. It took a while because I was lazy and procrastinating hahahaha. Anyway, because I was already cleared I could finally get my diploma, the real one. The one given to us last March 25 at PICC was a "greeting of congratulations" masked as diploma haha.

Here is the "fruit" of my four years of hard work:

I also requested for my Transcript of Records (TOR) which was so expensive! 255 Pesos! However, I was not able to get it today and will be available on May 15, 2008!
What a coincidence since that date, as I've mentioned before , is my last day as EIC of HF.
Hmmmmmm........

Twenty Tunes 5

Current Favorite Songs

1. Maskara-Rivermaya
2. Say it Again-Marie Digby
3. With You-Chris Brown
4. Damn Regret-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
5. Evidence-Urbandub
6. Beat It-Fallout Boy feat John Mayer
7. Given Up-Linkin Park
8. Leavin-Jesse McCartney
9. Uh Oh-Taken By Cars
10. Whatever It Takes-Lifehouse
11. These Hard Times-Matchbox Twenty
12. No Air-Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown
13. 4 Minutes-Madonna feat Justin Timberlake and Timbaland
14. Always Be My Baby-David Cook
15. Pitong Araw-Hale
16. Low-Flo Rida feat T-Pain
17. Monobloc-Pupil
18. All Around Me-Flyleaf
19. Bleeding Love-Leona Lewis
20. Akala mo lang-Zelle
***
Twenty Tunes 4
Twenty Tunes 3
Twenty Tunes 2
Twenty Tunes 1

15 days to go...

The past three days I've been at school for clearance,(umusad na rin sa wakas, haha!) and HF stuff. Wel,l I need to finish all my pending task before May 16. May 15 will mark the end of my HF life. But no worries, since I will be leaving HF in good hands. The transition has already started actually. I don't go to the office as often as before and when I'm there I don't stay that long anymore.
After my term as EIC ends, it will now be the official end of my college life.
Time to leave DLSU-D.
Time to move on.
***
Lately, I've been catching up with my (former) classmates through text and YM. Some are getting frustrated that they could not find a job, the others are making the most out of the summer season, there are also a few who are bored to death, there are some lucky ones who have jobs already while some will start soon.
When they ask me about my plans, I will always say that I'm finishing some stuff for HF and wait until my term ends officially.
After that ?????
Yes, I don't know yet. I don't know where will I go.
That's why I decided that I will rest first. I need time to think and reflect.
May 16 will be the start of my "vacation".
***
I may be undecided or confused at present but I know for sure what I want to do 6 to 10 years from now:
I will teach.

Facing the Tooth Fairy

I will have some of my teeth extracted in May. I promised to myself that I will take care of my teeth already and get over my fear of having my teeth extracted by a dentist. All of my life, I have been in the dentist's office just TWICE not counting the dental check up I had when I applied for college. And I never had a proper tooth extraction before. I just wait for it "fall off naturally".
But I'm not a kid anymore. I know for a fact that I have two "dying" teeth and I should let it go already, the proper and medical way.
It sucks that only now that I have decided to face this fear. Stupid fear now that I realize it.
***
Since Wednesday, I have not gone out of the house. Got sick and rested. I'm such a bum and I both love it and hate it. Yeah, it's fun doing nothing but just surf the net away but I'm afraid that I may get used to it so much. But I feel restless also. And believe it or not, stressed.
***
It has been a week since the HF Yearend Workshop. It has been a month since I graduated.
I am at this point of my life that I do not exactly know what I want to do.
A phase? Maybe. Hope to get over this soon.

Leap

It has been said that when God closes a door he opens a window. Or vice versa. Basta, something similar to that haha.
I feel that one aspect in my life have fallen apart. I thought it was meant for me. Then that happened. And I realize I could not fit in there. Maybe I was never suppose to be there in the first place.
But I guess it was all in God's plan for me to experience that. He helped me re evaluate my life.
Now, I'm putting that on hold. I'm not putting a period just a comma.
I will jump to something I do not know if I will succeed. But I will try.

Thesis Epilogue

Today, finally, napa bookbind na namin ang thesis! It took awhile since me and Jas enjoyed the vacation too much ha!ha!. We already submitted it to our department but our adviser is not there and she will be back on Friday pa. We need her signature for the certification and approval sheet. We printed four copies, one each for me, Jas, our department, and adviser. For the library, what they need is the soft copy in CD form. The printing took awhile since printing in the DLSU-D thesis paper is a bit tricky haha plus our thesis have about 140 pages and multiply by four and you get the idea. When we held our the final copy of our thesis it was a great feeling. We felt a sense of accomplishment. All the hard`work paid off.
I do hope that someday some students could find our study useful and use it as RRL.

Purple

I was about to go to school today but my mother requested not to for some reason. I give in. Thanks to the Internet I was still able to do some work for HF. And well I'm excited for our literary folio, Palad, I love the lay out! And we have this cutting edge concept. I hope we win in the CEGP. *crosses fingers*
***
I read the latest issue of Newsbreak magazine which I bought a week ago but only read now. Ate Purple, a Broadcast Journalism alumnus (one year ahead of me) and former editor of HF, is a researcher/writer for this publication. I am so proud of her, I read all her articles and well this is really what Ate Purple wants in her life. This is so her, an investigative journalist.
I remember the times where we talked inside the HF office, she is really an insightful person. And she is not really stiff, she is so "kalog". I admit I don't usually get almost all her HF columns back in the day and I sometimes ask her what the point of her column is and she will enthusiastically explain it to me. I admire her courage and the way she thinks. I know she will be a great journalist in the years to come and I'm so excited for her.
***
Here are some of the articles Purple Romero wrote for Newsbreak:

• UN to RP: What happened to Alston’s recommendations?

• Second Chance: Colon Cancer is not a death sentence

• Twist to Neri case: Lawyer wanted dissenting justices to inhibit

• UN: Lack of political will behind poor access to sanitation

Unproductive

I feel so useless. I feel so lazy. All I do is watch TV or surf the net. And eating of course. And I'm getting fatter each day. I need to get my old groove back. I admit, I enjoy my bumming around time but I need to control this, I don't want to get used to this.
I hate to admit this but I feel trapped. I want to move on. But I know I could not. I hate to feel this way. I'm just tired I guess. Drained. Lost the spirit. Burned out. I should not feel this but I can't control myself to not feel this way. But I will not escape. I'll fight even though I feel like a loser already.

Grammar Check

Yesterday I was checking the proofs for LS Special magazine which were edited by the technical consultant and I discovered something embarrassing. My column for the magazine was heavy with corrections. It just shows that among the editors , I am probably the weakest writer. Heck, a lot of my staff are better writers than me perhaps. It is a shame considering that I am the Editor-in-Chief. This year, I did not grow as a writer because I focused more on the management aspect of the job. Or maybe I just don't have it. This makes me feel scared, if I apply for a job and upon knowing that I was an EIC of the student publication, the employer will expect a lot from me: polished grammar, solid writing style and coherent sentence constructions. And I'm not confident that I could meet the expectations.

Wow

That's what I said when I found out that the Philippines will have its own version of the reality series [and one of my all time faves] SURVIVOR. Not a copy cat/rip off but a franchise! GMA 7 bought the rights and plugs are now being played on channel 7. I'm so excited! I don't know how will the Filipino audience respond to this kind of show where backstabbing and manipulation are rampant. I have high hopes for this show since GMA 7's foray to reality TV through EXTRA CHALLENGE was quite good [quite because there were off episodes/weeks]. Reportedly, the current affairs team of GMA will produce the show, so a plus point for me!
And well since we know how the two stations compete, I wonder how will ABS CBN respond to this? Amazing Race Philippines perhaps? Exciting!

Normal Day?

I guess so.

I tried.

Did well I guess.

I did have my anxiety attack every now and then. But I managed to have a "normal" day today.
Hope it continues.

***
I was busy today doing HF work. I have lots of backlogs due to my absence last week because I got sick. I'm quite happy since Just Play is now on the proofreading stage, LS special is almost finish so as Palad. Alipato is 40% done. The problem na lang is the special issue of HF broadsheet. Long way to go pa. I am aiming for all jobs done by this month so I could leave HF already hahaha. Kidding, I mean I want those burdens off my chest for me to enjoy my final moments in DLSU-D.
By the way, today is the start of the summer term. I miss summer classes. For three years I had summer classes because my course's curriculum really has the summer term. I did not complain though since I love summer classes, it is fast faced actually and I was not bored.
Also, there was a shooting in school today, ABS CBN as always. I saw Maja Salvador and Jon of PBB. DLSU-D is a favorite location of ABS CBN shows. Over the years I saw Bea Alonzo, John Lloyd Cruz, Zanjoe Marudo, Jason of PBB, Iya Villania, Kim Chui, Gerald Anderson among others. And of course when I was a freshman, Marian "Marimar" Rivera was a Psychology senior and she was sort of famous na rin back then since she starred in the Skin White commercial during that time. Who have thought a few afters she will be a star. I remember seeing her in the JFH hallway and she is really beautiful but she really have a "manly" voice hehe.
***
I saw some friends who claimed their diploma [the real one since the one given to us in the graduation rites was fake haha]. I kinda felt envious. A clearance is needed to claim the diploma . Well, I haven't started my clearance yet since I will still be in school pa naman until May. Plus, we haven't passed the thesis yet hahahaha. Procrastinating until the end haha. But me and Jas will work on it this week. The past weeks we decided to lie low . Not just us but the whole JOU41 block haha. I guess we were delaying it so we could have a reason to go back to school. Awwww *senti mode on*
****
Guilty pleasure: PBB Teen Edition Plus! Aliw! So far the show is entertaining but knowing PBB it will have its draggy moments like contrived twists and lousy tasks. But for now I'm enjoying the show.
Also because of waiting for PBB to start I sort of got hooked with Lobo as well. The show is not the typical Pinoy fantaserye, the story has depth and I must say Angel Locsin improved on the acting department, she is not a ham actress anymore.
And before you label me as "kapamilya", I will tell you I'm not. I'm not a "kapuso" either. I am "kabarkada" haha just jokin. Seriously, I actually hate the network war since because their competition is not healthy. Long time ago I posted a blog entry about that titled Boobtube Battle Boo Boos.
***
I'm excited to find work. Although I'm expecting it will be hard. But hey I'm ready.

Breathe

It has been almost a week since I became "like this". I decided that I could not sulk and whine all day. I'm not saying I'll fight this because I can't, I already tried and I'm tired. I will just face reality. Be as brave as I could. I could not let my life to be on hold because of this. I'll just hope and pray that in the end things will turn out fine.
But I have to stop acting like this. My whining will not help me at all. I have to be strong.

Let the song speak for me

These Hard Times-Matchbox Twenty

Morning falls like rain into the city life
There goes another night
Losing my breath in waves
Knowing that ever crash is bleading the hourglass
And taking the strife from all our lives

Everyone keeps talking
They promise you everything
But they don't mean anything

We may loose our focus
There's just too many words
We're never meant to learn
And we don't feel so alive

So goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
Through these hard times

Move your hands in circles
Keeping me hypnotized
The power behind your eyes
Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky
You should be here tonight
But you stay alone and cry

Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(whoa) There's something missing
(Oh whoa) You'll never feel it but you
(Oh whoa) You're gonna feel it when it's gone
When it's gone

Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(hey) these Hard times
(oh no now) Hard times
Hard times

Say goodbye, these days are gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone
These days are gone

Twenty Tunes 4

CURRENT FAVORITE SONGS:

1. These Hard Times-Matchbox Twenty
2. Beat It-Fallout Boy feat John Mayer
3. Whatever It Takes-Lifehouse
4. Evidence-Urbandub
5. Akala mo lang-Zelle
6. Under Repair-Imago
7. Monobloc-Pupil
8. Bleeding Love-Leona Lewis
9. Procrastinator-Sandwich
10. Uh Oh-Taken by Cars
11. 4 minutes-Madonna feat Justin Timberlake and Timbaland
12. With You-Chris Brown
13. Touch My Body-Mariah Carey
14. Nine in the Afternoon-Panic at the Disco
15. Aaminin-Six Cycle Mind
16. No Air-Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown
17. Low-Flo Rida feat T-pain
18. Susundan-Callalily
19. Empty-The Click Five
20. Something Right-Westlife

***
Twenty Tunes 3
Twenty Tunes 2
Twenty Tunes 1

I want to feel normal again

This is the third day that I am feeling this way. I feel so sick. Not just medically speaking. But sick, emotionally sick. Here I am again , going to this very disturbing phase. I feel like my life is put on hold. I could not tell to anyone exactly what I feel. I am a shock absorber from my family to my friends. But what about me? This blog is my shock absorber.
There are stuffs that helped me divert my attention for a while: TV, radio, Internet. But the effect will only last for a short while then I will go back to whining, being paranoid and crying.
I'm a great pretender. No one knows exactly what I am going through. I don't like sharing it that much. I would like them to see me as "business as usual" but I'm hurting inside. Sometimes I would like to blame people why I feel this way but later on I would take it back. I just like to blame people coz I want to feel better but I did not feel any better at all.
The thing I am struggling right now is my fault. I want to redeem myself but it's too late or I'm too scared to take the risk again. I'm a coward.
God help me survive this ordeal.

This is the day

that I want to forget.

***

Yesterday I was so happy, I had a getaway with my classmates at Batangas sort of graduation send off but sadly only 13 came nevertheless I enjoyed the day so much that I don't want it to end.

But it has to. Nothing last forever.

***

And now I'm sad again. I hate this feeling.

***

Last week, I was happy because I graduated. One week after, for a few hours all my happy thoughts were erased. Damn, I hate this day.