Motivational words don't work for me anymore. It's all surface matter to me now. I live a life of misery, internal misery. I'm okay on the outside, or I try to be as much as I can because life is as hard as it is, and stirring drama will just make things worse. Nothing is gonna change anyway why should I even bother. It's a sad life so I try to find escape whenever I can but then some of those escapes also bring me so much anxiety too. So I select what I get exposed to or spend my time on. On top of all the burdens I have in life, why add unnecessary stress. I'm glad I have this space to shout out all my bottled-up feelings. It's the only thing I have that keeps me in check because it really is so difficult as I deal with so many annoying things. You know annoying is such a light word to describe all the overwhelming and soul-sucking matters I deal with. I ramble and babble at least I don't make other people shock absorbers because as someone is playing that role, it's so hard.
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