Blood and Heat

 I'm so worried again but now double it up! I need to stay calm because I can't act out because it will just make things worst. But this is driving me insane and I'm really exhausted carrying so many stressul stuff on my shoulder. 

Hats

I get why people are really mad but I don't know, I think social media witchhunt is a pointless thing to do anymore and will just be harmful to one's mental health. But that's social media for you, it's just too unavoidable now. So I hope if this is getting too much for one's headspace, one should take a break. Recharge before you go back to staying vigilant. Don't let despair consume you totally.

Vote

 I felt I didn't want to feel empathetic anymore after some frustrating national-level events but eventually, I did move on from it and just let things be and focused on my family and work. I still get frustrated from time to time on a national level but while in the grand scheme of things I am powerless, I could still make those changes or live the life I believe is right in my own circle like my family and workplace. There are a lot of people in my workplace who made certain choices due to misguided thoughts influenced by online noises but in general, they are good people who really just want to do good for their family. Hostility is not the way to go even if it's really tempting to do so sometimes.

Not

 I'm feeling a lot of anxiety now from personal to world issues. The thing is I cannot control how the world works so why would I stress about it? I thought I could be numb with these anymore but I just can't help but care. I need to stop thinking about these things anymore and just focus on what I can do in my life where I am directly affected. 

Bit

After the hectic last few weeks, I'm now on a plateau. There's still pending matter but nothing immediate. I'm also spacing it out because the drought is coming unless something pops up soon. I really hope it does. Getting anxious again. How I wish it was 2022 all over again. 

Four in a Row

 It wasn't easy and I had to deal with some little personal drama along the way but thank goodness I was able to pull it off. I'm a little sad that my slate for the coming weeks is not that busy but still grateful for those that come along. Hoping and praying for more before the year ends. 

The Second Chance!

  "The Second Chance," the Thai remake of El Cuerpo Del Deseo, is coming to TV5 beginning next week! I was entertained while working on the dubbing because the flow is not boring at all!  I'm excited to see it on TV.

Bracelet

 One down. Not the pacing that I was targetting but better this than totally delaying again for no good reason. It's still a tall order to do everything I need to do but I will work my best because I do really need it. And I won't have much coming up after this back to back to back to back stuff I need to finish. But I do hope something good will go about soon, Just to easy my anxieties because as usual I think negatively in advance!

Yeah, yeah.

 Hoping to finish the first one tonight but could be a challenge because I let myself get distracted again and also getting distracted by other things too, Okay back to my goal again! I have more in the pipeline!

4/4

I'll be so busy doing some stuff in the next 4 days! I need to meet my goal and make it work. No distractions. No delays. I still need to juggle other stuff while doing this but I just need to have the right mindset so I could accomplish. On we go!

Struggling

Thinking of one thing that it is more convenient but then again it has its own share of difficulties as well. Most notably, lack of awareness for some that they expect everyone is at ther beck and call. Or worst, being the sounding of self inflicted stressors. I hate to think this way but this is what I have been dealing and sometimes it takes a toll on me. Internally, of course. I can't show weakness as much as possible 

Confused

 I just witnessed yet again something that's really making me worry. Just trying to calm myself down that it's manageable, I must be patient. It's so hard to be levelheaded because everything is difficult to deal with but I can't afford to lose hope. I need to be strong so everything won't fall apart. 

Alarm

 I'm back worrying again over something that isn't under my control, but this is how I am, already sounding the alarm as early as now. I really hope that something good and new will come up soon so that I can feel at ease. 

Shallow Waters

 Decided to step away from that thing that would just give me unnecessary stress. I already starting to sense that it will upset me and it's such a nonsense matter. I just get too drawn with inconsequential things sometimes. Now I will try to focus on what matters again. Especially, since I'm starting to get worried about that thing again. 

Winner

 My bet Kai lost on PBB Gen 11, just 4th place. I kinda saw it coming base on voting trends and the forums and social media reactions I've been reading.  But well it was a fun show and I really got hooked now back to regular programming to me and focus on other stuff!

Penultimate

 I've been watching PBB since Day 1, 19 years ago, and this has been a good season. I know na that the cost-cutting sa production is quite evident, there were no "grand" tasks unlike before. Still, I do think yun pa nga naging edge this season kasi there were tendencies na over-produced na yung tasks or masyado na showbiz (concerts), or tasks where they go outside which defeats the initial concept of the show na isolated lang sila. In a way back to basics sila dito so there are more social interactions with the housemates. Since wala na rin yung activity area mas limited pa mundo nila but the earlier seasons like the ones from over a decade ago ganito rin naman kaliit ang mundo nila and it was engaging kasi you just watch how they interact and what stories develop organically. I'm not a fan of too many game-based challenges, it gets boring later on din kasi, the finale weeks of previous seasons naging challenge-driven which kills momentum. I have to say the finale week of this season is well-done. Mas nakilala ang Big 4, a true test of character and a look on how strong their relationships have formed. That's what keeps me hooked sa show despite its flaws. Your connection with the housemates and how you will see yourself one way or another or even get exposed to certain personalities and relationships that you wouldn't do in normal life. I can't help but smile sa penultimate episode, seeing the big 4 reunited, their reactions when they heard Kuya again, and their special dinner where they share their sincerest praises to one another. Just pure human emotion. This is the best thing about this show, despite the flaws and issues, it will always have that heart.

Kristine Again

 Stuck at home because of the typhoon. But now I'm thinking maybe I should have just braved the weather and went to the office instead! I just can't focus here. WFH is not for me. My situation isn't just ideal for it. 

Kristine

 Didn't go to work today because I woke up and felt off. It didn't help that there was a typhoon although we weren't badly hit like in other provinces but I just didn't feel that going to the office under this weather is good. I do feel better now and I do think it was a good decision to take a leave for today because the commute home will be difficulty with the rains and the winds. 

To the....

 I was planning to accomplish something but barely got started. I was so sleepy all afternoon I wasn't able to focus. Argh. Hate when that happens especially since I have a lot of things to do this week. Let's try again tomorrow!

Archive

Browsing the recently uploaded Heraldo Filipino digital archives (https://www.heraldofilipino.org/archives) brings back many memories. I can't help but feel nostalgic seeing my first articles published 19 years ago. It was a dream come true to see my name printed on the campus broadsheet (especially when it was on the front page). I feel that sometimes as I get older, I'm losing that spark I once had because of life's many challenges. So seeing these again, it's nice to be reminded of that youthful zest I had before.