Abhor

 This pandemic is scarier than ever especially now more than ever with a lot of people knowing someone who already passed because of this disease. Then the politics, those people in power have no shame anymore. No sense of humility. not even that apologetic or reassuring. Some people in power peddling a so-called medicine that says that cures COVID and not even backed by science. Regulatory board bending their rules to accommodate it half heartedly. Vaccine rollout quite a mess with people just now accepting this vaccine with questionable reason why it's here because there's no other choice. Kung ano na nandyan tanggapin na lang. I hate it so much. Especially because its comes from a place that is power tripping right now. Of course it was tolerated and coddled before so we are not even surprised anymore. I don't know how can ever we rise from this. 

Relief

 Thanks to company service today I was able to go back to the office! I really needed it because there's still a lot of pending stuff that I can only do at the office. And also good for my mental health to be honest. The past few days I have this recurring body pains from various body parts but today NOTHING. I was so busy today catching up with work load that I didn't think much of the CHAOS happening in this country. 

Flashback

 Back in 2005, I was one of the chosen staff by my college student publication Heraldo Filipino to attend UST's Inkblots National Journalism Fellowship. It was my first ever seminar related to journalism and I was really excited! During that 3-day symposium, I attended lectures by seasoned journalists from print to broadcast like Shiela Coronel, Marites Vitug, Glenda Gloria, Jiggy Manicad, Charie Villa, Ruel De Vera, Nestor Cuartero, Quinito Henson and Christian Esguerra. My favorite lecture was from Christian Esguerra because he is eloquent and insightful (He was a PDI reporter back then and now he is hosting an ANC show and has a podcast too where his sharp interviewing skills are on display). The sessions of Quinito Henson and Nestor Cuartero were also memorable because we had mock press conferences featuring Purefoods basketball team and Champ from the band Hale. My most unforgettable session though was Editorial Cartooning  with Philippine Star's Rene Aranda. We weren't supposed to attend it because we are not visual artists but all the writing related sessions that day were not available anymore. However, we didn't regret attending because Mr. Aranda is such an engaging speaker. After his discussion, he asked the delegates to make an editorial cartoon about Calibrated Pre-emptive Response and I was so shocked when he picked my work as third best (My fellow news writer Em Sipin  placed second too!). I have NO drawing skills at all so I just worked around with what I can draw and hopefully not embarrass myself! Anyway, I was just rummaging through my stuff earlier and found this still in good condition. I really should frame this because it is a reminder of my 18-year old self when I was not jaded in life yet!

RIP Bradpack

 A co-worker passed away yesterday. I've worked with him in various projects and he's always efficient and on time. He's a chatty guy and always so nice. He would call everyone "Bradpack" which was his version of "bro" and "pare". I checked his Facebook and saw his son posted a farewell tribute to his dad. I read the comments and said his father died of COVID. Devastating. It's my first time to know someone personally who died because of this deadly disease. It just makes things feel more real to me. Since I'm work from home now so I didn't get exposed and honesty I didn't even have that much interaction with him lately as well because his shift was later in the afternoon back then. Still, once I go back to the office knowing he won't be there anymore is just making me feel so sad. 

I will miss you Kuya Pat. Rest in Peace.

KJ

 The past few days, I made a conscious effort to minimize my exposure to social media because the situation right now is just making me so anxious and hopeless. However, out of necessity,  I decided to check a few official government pages to get a specific information but I got lost reading a lot of comments from ordinary people. There's a lot of stress, distrust and hardship right now.  I actually got annoyed whenever I see meme/hugot/harot posts in the middle of more serious concerns and insights being shared.  I know that's how some people deal with tough situations - finding humor. But I don't know, it's been a year of this never-ending nightmare that I'm finding it hard to find something to laugh about.

Unchecked

Last Wednesday, I saw a tweet with a photo of long lines in the bus terminal last Wedneday. This is a nightmare back in the normal times but now with added anxiety of catching the virus and getting reprimanded because of an impractical curfew for the working class. This is a clear case of lack of foresight of those who set the rules. Our governor recently made a post about checkpoints that have caused heavy traffic and basically the blame was again placed to the ordinary people. It's harder to be part of the working class in this ordeal we have right now.

Extended Stress

 So today it was announced that the Enhanced Community Quarantine has been extended for another week. It was inevitable with over 10K for 3 days now.  It stresses me out both health concerns and economic issue. I'm not sure if I can go back to the office next week but I really want to. So unbelievable that I'm in this situation yet again

15K

 Yeah another record high, over 15K. Over 3K is backlog from March 31 but still not reassuring. How are we going to deal with this anymore?

Silence

 Today is Maundy Thursday and the start of April. Second holy week and summer season in a pandemic. This week is traditionally quiet and somber but the silence right now is deafening than ever. I hope and pray next year will be better.

Heard

 There was a survey by the municipality that was conducted here in our subdivision today. My mother thought it was for  "ayuda" so she was really excited when she told me to go to our multipurpose area after she was informed by someone from our homeowners association. I didn't think it was the case but I didn't want to burst her bubble. Anyway, the survey was about to ask feedback if our the projects of the mayor's office is effective and my response was that I'm not fully aware of the projects to give an informed opinion. Next, I was asked if I think the National ID project will be difficult to obtained and I said yes and the officer didn't ask me further. To be honest, I think that's really unnecessary since there's UMID already that's really should be the one that covers all government offices so what's the purpose of this really?  Lastly, I was asked if we are willing to get vaccinated and my response was yes but will depend on what brand they will administer especially for my senior parents. I want to make sure the vaccine is a reputable one and also to be honest I just have big reservations of the one brand widely available that they want to us to settle for. I don't know how this survey will turn out but I'm glad my voice (and my family as well) was heard today

Bumps

Today was such a challenging day for work-home balance. My work from home task were interrupted because of house errands and also looking over my parents that are not in good terms because of a shallow issue but being forced to stay home right now is definitely a factor why the mood swings are so insane. Then around  the afternoon, my Internet connection was poor so I had difficulty downloading some videos I need for work. So stressful really. That's why I really want to work at the office, I get things done with less distractions and also better for mental health to be honest. For now, I don't have a choice but really hoping I can go back to the office next week.

10K

 First day of ECQ Season 2 and over 10K cases today! Yep. This is going to get worse each day. Of course aside from that health crisis, we are also riddled with so much politics, misguided defense, stupid excuses and general hopelessness. Back working from home for now as well and it's really more difficult like I just finished a task few minutes ago . When I'm at the office I can finish everything before I leave and don't take home any job normally. But what can I do right? So stressful. God please help us

Same, Same

 So on the day before ECQ returns, we went to the market like we normally do a Sunday but as expected there were more people than usual. I also went to the drugstore to stock up on some medicines for my mother and thankfully it was not chaotic and I was like one of four customers. I did a quick run at the grocery too to buy some stuff and when I entered, there were no lines but when I left, there's already a long queue both a the store entrance and the nearby ATM. Yeah people in panic mode.  More people close to each other. Now tell me if this decision is really a good thing. But what I can do really at this point but just deal with it and stay sane as I can in this never ending ordeal. 

No Path

 So yeah starting on Monday, BACK on ECQ again. Hopefully, it won't last longer than Holy Week because the economic fallout will be hard. I saw this coming so I made some early preparations both at work and home. However, now that this is a reality it really sucks so bad. Same worries as last year. Nope, maybe even worst.  I'm really afraid where we are heading. 

Smile in The Middle of Stress

 Received some good news today. My sibling who had a health scare earlier this year had a good medical checkup today which is a big relief! With the rising cases of COVID (another all time high today with nearly 10K!), health is such a big concern right now. Tatay also received some good news from his former workplace's cooperative. He is annoyed that he can't go outside now as he is 66 and part of the list now allowed by the government to go out so this good news is such a blessing in this frustrating and scary times we live in. 

Another All Time High

8,773 confirmed cases today.  I already know some acquittances who tested positive. Thankfully, I  haven't been exposed to anyone who tested positive, hopefully forever. Scary times. Depressing times. As I walk to my shuttle's parking space, I can't help but feel sad once again seeing the many struggling business I see. One year later and we are in such dire state. 

Longer

 Today's confirmed cases is 6,666. Yup, the joke is on us now. Lots of chaotic and stressful things happening right now because of this surge. So much mismanagement. So much distrust. So much excuses.

Cling

 Moderna just announced that the Philippines secured 7 million doses of their vaccines thanks to a partnership with the private sector. Thank goodness! I hope they get to this country soon enough and I really it won't be delayed anymore especially if for some nonsense reasons. Let the private sector do it, it's obvious the powers that can be has mishandled this so gravely.  Today is the second day of the GCQ with Additional Restrictions and I went back to the office. Thankfully, my shuttle ride didn't experience any checkpoint hassle and it was just a regular ride. The last thing I need right now is to face that kind of stress. It's hard but you gotta keep fighting 

Enough

 My father was watering the plants when a casual friend walked by and was about to start a political discussion but tatay, who usually engages in small talk, brushed him off   "Sorry may gagawin pa ako sa loob", he said . My tatay is not here for his loyalist crap anymore. He voted for him but less than a year in position, he regretted it so much. I'm really relieved that he was not as easily persuaded by his peers, while he never debates or goes into arguments, he never really agrees with political statements he clearly opposes, he either changes the topic or gave vague non-answers to not encourage the conversation but today was the first time I saw him totally reject someone attempt for chit chat. Yeah, today we just have over 8K cases, messy quarantine measures and just general sense of dread, he can't be chill anymore with someone still believing he's not doing anything wrong. 

With Add Ons

 NCR and nearby provinces including Cavite are back to GCQ tomorrow but this time with added restrictions. All industries and public transportation are still available so I can still go to the office although for tomorrow I opted to work from home because I don't have immediate work task that I'm need to be physically present at the office and of course I want to observe as well how this GCQ with added restrictions play out tomorrow.  I really hate this, I hope checkpoints won't return.