Sunny

 I ran some errands today at noontime and the heat was unbearable. I was using a big umbrella usually used for storms because it is not safe to walk with that kind of heat with no protection really. It was good to see some guys like me with their umbrellas too, I mean come on you shouldn't risk your heatlh just because of social norms that men don't use umbrellas when there's no rain!

Heat

 This week is freaky as for the first in my life I saw the sun still shining brightly close at 6PM. The heat is just unbearable. I wish for colder weather soon!

Booked

Finished two dubbing scripts this week! I love the feeling of it again! I have three scripts on my plate as well with deadlines close to each other! AND I LOVE IT.  I've had enough lazy weekends after house chores. I want to spend the weekend working on scripts again! Hopefully more projects to come

Rev

Finished the first episode of the latest dubbing project we have. A day before the deadline as well so that's nice. Dubbing starts on  Monday so it was a bit rushed but I always worked on dubbing scripts, especially with this director who has been very appreciative of my work. I don't fish for compliments but it's always to get complemented and it really gave me a boost as well!

Muna

 I needed to end some of the recklessness I've been doing the past few weeks. It's a decision I made because taking that risk made me experience things I never did but there's still that immense feeling of regret and yet I go back to the same cycle which also made me lose focus on certain things. Maybe I'll revisit this someday but with a better plan and not just because of the thrill of  taking a risk, ignoring the bigger picture just because I want to be selfish for a moment. 

Gimme More

After having some drought, glad to know new projects are coming in again. I want to be so busy again because those weeks with a lighter workload worried me a little! I'm already used to being so occupied with back-to-back things that I need to finish. So happy now but hoping for MORE! 

Window

 So Monday is quite good for opportunities! Quit excited and hopefully more to come. I have some stressful some at the back of my head but I will savor this bliss in the meantime. The feeling of excitement is there but I need to manage my expectations

Testing

So this "experiment" is making me realize a lot of things now. I'm learning some stuff about myself. It's still a work in progress and I hope to come out of this a better person. I'm cautious but at the same, I want to be reckless too. It's a hard thing to balance really but I need to confront and face everything before it's too late for me.

Simul

 I entered something I know very well what it really is but I'm trying to find something more to this. It makes me happy even for a few moments and yet I know it's all a facade. But for a few moments I can pretend I'm on a different world. 

Aftermath

 The feeling of euphoria blinded me and before I go too far, I'm putting the brakes on. I've realized I willingly fooled myself into a fantasy but now I have come to my senses that this isn't it. It's all an illusion and I need to step away. But still thankful I've experienced it because it's still a learning experience after all. I am sad though but I'll get over it.

Threat

 I'm getting worried about some thing already and each day I hope that there will be news coming but there are just trickles and just leads. Then I just found out something that makes things even more vulnerable. I hope like before it will just pass and opportunities come in again. I've been stressing about that perhaps that led to me some impulse decisions that gave me some temporary escape but as it is temporary, I keep coming back to this listless state. 

Charm

 After a rough time yesterday, glad to have a good day today. It was really goood! I'm afraid that something bad could happen because of the euphoria I felt today but nope I will not let negativity get me down again, I want to savor today where I felt something I never did before. So pleasing. 

Crestfallen

 What I've been fearing has happened again. I am so scared and tired and frustrated and devastated. I had a feeling it will happen again but now it is actually happening I have no words to say. I want to step back and just let things be. My attitude could just add up to the multitudes of stress. I'm struggling to cope up with this again. Lord, please hear my prayer.

A Week

 What happened a week ago is still on my mind. I'm still tormented by the feeling of failure but also the desire to do it again and make it work. I'm afraid to take a risk again but I do know if you stay in your lane all the time that feeling of regret and resentment just grows and I don't want that. Hopefully, I will find the answer eventually. 

Declutter

 So I did nothing important but discuss shallow entertainment stuff on message boards. It's actually quite good not to be thinking about serious matters for a while especially what I've gone through the past week, It was quite brutal but I will be fine and make things better. Hopefully, next week will be better and some of the things I want will come to fruition

Figure

 Thinking over that thing again I feel like making that mistake was essential to me to learn more about myself. It was a big failure that I haven't mode on yet but as I process my emotion, I'm realizing things I haven't thought about before. Not sure if it just me rationalizing to make me feel better or have I genuine breakthrough but nonetheless despite the result, it was a pivotal in my life I will never forget.

And yet

 The failure of that risk is still on my mind. I don't want to take such a risk again and yet a part of me wants to gamble again. I want it for myself. I want to find success in this matter so bad but my rational self is reminding me how much I've lost with the first attempt. I knew what I could potentially lose when I took that risk and I thought that if I failed, that would stop me from trying it again but what am I doing now? Thinking about giving it another go and maybe learning from the mistakes of the first one. the second try could be more meaningful to me. Confused.

Certified

 I still can't help but dwell on my loser moment because it was such a big deal to me. I should have know better but I was clinging to the hope that the risk will pay off and that thing I've been wanting for so many years will be fulfilled but alas it wasn't. And I really made a fool out of myself. So embarrassing. So frustrating. So depressing

Elements

Elemental is so good! A wonderful love story that hit the right emotions! Love it so much, the romance works so well I didn't expect to feel that way for two non-human characters especially when they first held hands? The sparks!

I also like that this isn't the usual animated story of the characters going on an adventure to reach somewhere. It really is more of a relationship and personal connection movie so having no villain really works for its format.

The animation is stellar as one could expect with Pixar. The water and fire I could just imagine how long and intricate the process were.

 And this song was so perfectly used in the movie

Flop

 One thing I was anticipating for and my worst scenario happened. Now that I know the actuality it just makes me feel more like a loser and I did this to myself. Lesson learned. i was not cut out for it. I know the chances were high that it would be a disaster but I did it anyway. Rationalizing that now I won't be longing for ot anymore because of what happened. I am so sad but I need to move on from this.

GM

It's only here that I can say I'm exhausted. I just don't have the guts to tell it to someone in person. It feels more real and there are more repercussions if you do that. There's no such as opening up and will be okay after our tears are shed. It's a fantasy we live in the fictionalized content. Oh, I hate that word content. Devalues works of art. Oh, I hate that word to art it feels too condescending. Basically, I'm like this. Scatterbrain. I don't know where to stand in life. I'm annoyed, stressed, and depressed. 

Within

 I wish I could write what I am picturing in my head. Maybe it's something that's going to make an impact. But no it is just a delusion. For a few minutes, I'm transported to somewhere exciting, relaxing, and fun. I wish it's something I can make happen. Maybe? I don't know. It's an inner battle I have been dealing with whenever I face hurdles, no matter how small in the grand scheme of things, in life. 

Reports

There are impending things that will requite a lot of me and I'm ready for it but somehow it is making me want to do something I was hesitant at first just because maybe I need to do it so I can be more I don't know encouraged to face things head on? Or maybe I just some little break before bigger challenges. I'm figuring it myself as I go along with life 

Bothered

Here we go again. Perhaps. I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm frustrated. My head is spinning with so many things I worry about. I have to be strong. I have to be calm. I have to be brave. Oh Lord, please help me manage my emotions for the better of everyone. I can't manage to lose it.

Peek

 Sometimes when you had a taste of something, it will keep you wanting more but your brain is telling you to stop because it is the right thing to do. But reminding you to stop also makes the urge to break it higher. Life is so complicated. 

Overeager

 Some good leads today and I hope it all works out so I can finally feel at ease. It's been worrying me a lot because I fear instability. I don't want that. I need this one aspect of my life to be okay. Well, it is OK but I don't want to see a potential for vulnerability.  But to be honest, I just worry too much.

More please

Each time I check for something new, most of the time I fail. I should have not gotten myself too involved but here we go and I'm now quite nervous. Hopefully, something more is on the horizon. 

Conodrum

 I've been having trouble concentrating right now. I don't have the energy to do something that I put myself in without thinking properly. I should have foreseen this but I was too messy to not realize I am putting myself at a disadvantage. Maybe if there was something else to make up for this, I will feel better. But I guess I am in my selfish era... at least just in my thoughts because no matter what this sinking feeling is, I will do what is right. 

Worried Sick

 Trying not to think something bad is gonna happen and that I'm distracting myself over nonsense things because if I face it head-on, I will be just torturing myself and won't be able to function well. Oh this is tough, Lord please, don't let this thing in my mind happen, 

Precedent

 I'm getting nervous about something that could happen again. I'm trying to brush it off but I can't help but feel it from time and time again. Oh dear Lord, I hope this fear of mine will not happen. I beg you please

Information

 Thank goodness, one thing I was hoping happened today. But I wish for more because I'm being paranoid already about future sustainability. And also that other issue hopefully gets resolved so effort won't be wasted! Oh, there's another thing that's been caught in between transition, I was so tempted to do the initiative but good thing I realized that this wasn't my lane and I have no right to do so. But hopefully more will be coming in the weeks ahead, let it pour please!

Ever

 

The final season of Never Have I Ever is now streaming over at Netflix Check out the Filipino-dubbed version of all 4 seasons! I translated five episodes including the finale.  This show is very fun to do!

Shall

 I finished working on the script of this project which was based on a famous classic novel. Working on this project made me curious about the novel. Maybe someday I'll read it and not just rely on Wikipedia but it really won't be that easy given my time but we shall see

Across

 We got sent home early from work today because there was a floor in the building that caught fire. It was controlled immediately and thankfully was not big enough to cause bigger problems but still to be safe we were sent home and that was before lunchtime. It was too early to go home so I decided to watch a movie and I chose Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse and the animation was mindblowing! The story was engaging and it ended on a cliffhanger because the final movie is set for next year! I can't wait to watch it!

Hence

Quite a challenging work I'm doing now. I need to use specific words to make it sound authentic but not too try-hard. I made some progress today so hopefully I can finish this tomorrow!

Tolstoy

 I'm a bit off my game today because it's not urgent hopefully tomorrow I'll be more in tune with what I need to finish. I did have a good nap today which is nice. Hoping some good news will welcome me on  the week ahead to fuel me more. I'm getting worried about some things really and it's affecting me so much.

First!

 My Nephew had his first field trip since the pandemic started and also his first without his mom or me as his guardian! Well, he is 14 years so about time really and I'm happy for him to taste some indepedence too. But time flies, he'll be turning 15 in a few months! But glad he is shaping to be a smart boy!

Changes

 I was researching something and somehow ended up on Linkedin. I had an account for so many years but I don't really use it except for sometimes updating it. I've been with the same company for nearly 14 years so there's nothing much to update but I've been looking at the job history of friends and acquaintances and it's interesting where they are now. Before, I would feel insecure comparing myself to them but this time around I didn't feel that way. I'm really fine where I am right now. The pandemic really changed how I view things now. 

Thinning

 While I received some blessings today, I'm getting a little angsty about the future because it's not as loaded as it used to be. Hoping it pours soon because I'm quite paranoid. I want a good problem again. But maybe it's okay if there is a slowdown but I don't want to it last long. Hopefully, some good news will arrive soon.

Yee How

Just finished writing the Filipino dubbing script of an upcoming animated movie. It's so fun to do, one of the most relaxing scripts I've ever done even if it's longer than the usual stuff I do (over 80 minutes) so frankly I had a smooth time writing thing once I got things going on! My writing queue is easing up, which is nice in a way for a breather but I want more projects to come in! I still have 3 left to do but they don't have tight deadlines yet I want to stock up on writing projects again so hopefully new projects will pour in.   Please, Lord!

Patience

 Yesterday was all stressful but today was okay. So yeah while these things always happen and it will still happen. It passes. I'm glad about that. I'm thankful. It's still not the worst-case scenario on my mind. It will happen again and I'll be tormented inside but still I need to get myself together and not give up. 

Endless

 When things like this happen, I once again do the adjustments because their mood swings and pride are above anything so I'm the one again pacifying things, trying to prevent things from escalating further. God give me the strength so I can continue to carry on because I can't give up. 

Prime!

 Watched the final episode of The Marvelous Mrs Maisel on Prime Video. Rachel Brosnahan killed it in the series finale. Alex Borstein was so great too. I'm gonna watch Jury Duty next since I've been reading a lot of good buzz on it. I will also check out a local show Cattleya Killer which Prime Video bought. It looks good! I only subscribed for a month so I gotta make 149 worth it! I do hope we get a project with them soon! I would love to write dubbing script for one of their shows.

Nay

 Today is Nanay's 66th birthday. I always pray to God that she's always safe and healthy, especially after the last three years. Nanay had a simple day but she had fun which is what matters. Thank you LoRD

Work It

 Handed in the dubbing script of the finale episode of a telenovela we worked for half a year! This was the third finale script I've written in the last 2 weeks plus a penultimate episode with one long revelation scene with heavy dialogue! So happy to be able to do them all. I have a dubbing script to work for an upcoming animated movie. It's a personal fave so it's gonna be fun to translate it to Filipino! I have at least 3 in the queue to write for next month but I want MORE. Hopefully, we get more projects soon too. I want to be so busy!

On Repeat

 Here it goes again. Same thing again. The instability never changes. Everything so fragile and repetitive. I can't express disappointment because well I don't want to rock a boat. Life is not TV show where you speak your mind, and all things are resolved. That isn't the case. And I don't want another stressor in my already stressed mindset, I just want to be numb and not care about it anymore.

Maybe

And the questioning begins. The second-guessing begins. Why did I ever have to be the one in charge? I hate to be the one to make the call but I was pushed to be on the center yet again. I have to be strong. I have to be firm. But I'm so scared. The pressure. The fear. The anxiety.

Risk

So there it is. I made a call. I have my justifications but seriously worried that I could have gotten it wrong. I hope I didn't. I just thought about what could ultimately be beneficial to those around me. I just want them to be happy.

Present

 I don't know how to face everything. The one I have in mind might not be the right thing to do strictly speaking but my gut feel says otherwise. But I'm questioning myself if I'm doing it for my convenience - to protect myself.  But what I've gone through the past years, I learned a lot on how to deal with this. Sometimes you need to trust what your gut says. But I'm afraid it could be a mistake. Oh dear Lord please help me. Guide me.

Spiral

There's nothing like what you are fearing happening or at least signs point to it happening to break me. I'm still holding on but barely. I am panicking inside but appear to be calm outside. It's so terrifying, I don't know how to function anymore. 

Worry

 And here it is again. So scared again. I don't know if I can function well anymore. But I have to collect myself and be strong. It's very hard to act normal when there's something pinching your heart. You can't deny it anymore. 

Tom

I am distracting myself from my usual doom-and-gloom thoughts. It lasted for a few hours and I'm now back reveling in those thoughts. Not easy but really hoping and praying for the best.

Escalating

 That time again when my worries are haunting me again. Nervewracking. I really hope and pray things will turn out well. I'm trying to be hopeful but I'm always anxious, I can't help it. 

Did

 It's crazy to think sometimes how you want something and yet when it happened, it feels disappointing. There's a feeling of guilt too. And remorse that you should have trusted your other instinct but that insatiable curiosity won over. In a way maybe it's a good thing that it finally happened so you can fully understand what is it and maybe not want it anymore. 

From the start

 Here I go again, enveloped in fear. It is nearing again and the negative thinking is in full sail. Oh Dear Lord, you know what I fear the most. Please I hope what I'm thinking right now is not happening. But if it is unavoidable, give me the strength not to breakdown completely because I can't be the way, I just can't

Some

Partial stress lifted. It's not really supposedly stressful but this is me, making things bigger than it should be, stressing myself out on my own doing. But tomorrow once I get that thing done, I'll be even better. It's a cycle, but it is what it is.

Sleeve

 I'm sad. All the things I've been bothering the past few weeks or so are something that most other people don't really find problematic. It's just me. I'm a weak person who found himself in a position where I need to be the stronger one. It has been this way for the past few years. I don't know I ended up this way. I ultimately have no choice in the end. I'm trapped. While I really don't regret anything because I know in the grand scheme of things, it has helped me and the people around me. But in times like this, I'm just overwhelmed with life that I can't help but wish I am somewhere else. Free with no worries not just for me but my loved ones. I wish I had the chance and position to give security to others so I can just do things my way. But it's not the case. I accept it and will bravely face each day because I always think it's not the worst-case scenario, right? I always need to keep myself in check because I don't want to manifest something bad where i feel guilty in the end. But it's just hard when you are being challenged. It's hard not not to feel like  I'm being suffocated and yet I feel immense guilt for feeling this way. It's such a conflicting feeling that so hard to handle. I'm writing this because this is really the only way I can express. No one reads this anyway. It's a open space that no one knows so it's fine. Maybe in here I can feel free.

Testy

 Another rough day unfolding.  From the moment I woke up, already annoyed. When I tried to take an afternoon nap, got interrupted too. There are just so many things annoying me. Trying to keep it cool really. And then I got reminded of what could be a worst-case scenario that has been bugging me for years now. I don't know really. It's so hard to be happy.

RB

 I've been so stressed this week, some because of my own doing due to impulsiveness and some because of things not under my control. Somehow made some wrong options this week but hey I gotta learn from it and hopefully next week I'm on better form. Despite that, I was still able to do some things although I could have done so much better if I didn't let myself be overwhelmed. But still, I remind myself that relatively it's still okay so I just need to put things in perspective.

Carry

I'm tired of getting dragged on other matters I should not be involved with anymore. I already deal with so much why pile something on me again? Can you leave me out of it? I worry a lot already, I'm drowning with it, just fighting each day to be fine.

Step back

I've been busy so I haven't check this particular interest of mine but moments ago, I've checked it and well it was quite toxic and I don't have the  mindset to deal with the unnecessary annoyance so I'm stepping back from it and focus on things that I will benefit from

Advanced

So finished some tasks early on so I can focus on other stuff pending for the next few days. I hope I can maintain the right focus to meet my goal. There are challenges ahead but you see I've been feeling so off lately that somehow the stuff I need to finish helps me keep it together. 

Lights Out

So there was a brownout at the office building today and when it lasted over an hour we were sent home early because nothing could be done anyway and the heat was so exhausting. It's a bummer because there's a lot of things to do. I had to go down the stairs from the 20th floor because the generator can only power one elevator and it was always full. My leg is sore now! Oh well, not so good start of the work week!

Zapped Out

It's not even noon and I just feel tired already. Not just in the physical sense. Just everything. Overall well-being.  An inconspicuous wall. A burden of guilt. A lifetime of loneliness. Today's challenge is yet again pulling myself out of this hole I'm in again. 

Annoyed

 I get easily annoyed lately but this is maybe because of some underlying stress that I couldn't really blurt out so I will try my best to get myself together so it won't escalate to bigger issues thankfully I managed to avert a potentially bigger stress inducer. I also keep in mind how it could be much worst to keep me in check

One day

 I'm so thrilled to finish a task in a single day when it usually takes at least 3 days to finish. And I didn't really rush it too! It is possible as long as I really focus on it and it really helps that I really enjoy what I do and I get so engrossed doing it. Hopefully, it's a start of a good streak for me

March

 One of those moments again where you realize how lonely you really are. One of the thing bugging your right now is such a non-issue to other people but because of your inadequacy you make a big deal out of it. You talk to yourself to not feel any resentment because ultimately it was the right choice because you would never be at peace anyway if you look the other way. But it's incredibly hard. At least you still manage to control things before it spins out of control. You need to collect yourself because no one else will do that for you. They're too busy thinking about their other concerns to mind you. But to be fair, they do care but unlike you they're just not as good as handling things that stress you out. You would often browse social and think why do these people seemingly have happy lives. Sure, your cynical side tells you that's just a put on but let's face it, you know there's an empty space in your heart hence you feel this way. It's okay you say to yourself. Let it out for a moment and once you have that catharsis, carry on.

Unfair

 Yes, what I expected was confirmed today. It sucks but come to think of it I guess it was good that we saw the true colors I guess, or maybe just accepted the red flag we saw early on. This incident just adds more pressure to me as well but I can deal with it, good thing I found a safe haven. It might not be much but it is safe. Comfort zone but with everything going on, I prefer to be in a comfort zone. Another setback, but we will rise from it. Hopefully and please Lord, some good news next please.

Keys!

 Nearly a year after we finished dubbing this project, so happy that the Filipino-dubbed version of Locke & Key is finally out! This a show I enjoyed and how I wish it had another season, not just because it's our project, but also because I feel like the show had more stories to tell but glad it had a final season. I wish our other project Warrior Nun had that!

Sense

So I watched this documentary on Netflix,  not a serious type, it's about a couple that was stranded in Costa Rica while on a date because of the pandemic lockdown! It was an easy watch and a little bit too good to be true but kinda heartwarming as well. The type that can make you smile and sometimes you need that, right?

Glimmer

 So looking like the thing that worried us for the past 2 days may be resolved but we still need to wait for it to be confirmed. I hope everything goes well because it was so nervewracking. 

Aftershock

There was a literal earthquake as just the clock turned midnight! But yesterday's even still had some effect today. I could feel it and it's really a downer but hopefully this overall feeling won't last long. I pray to God so

Setback

 A loved one suffered a big blow today and dare I say, injustice. I hope he bounces back from this setback. It does make me cautious as well with people even more.  It's hard to find people you can trust. Somehow it makes me justify why I set up a wall to protect myself and probably that is how I am surviving the game of life

Sweeth

We had another project out on Neftlix! Check out the Filipino-dubbed version of Sweet Tooth (both seasons)! I was not assigned to the project so no credit bragging for me but hey still proud our team made this one! Hopefully, Netflix renews it for Season 3 and maybe I could write for it too! :D

Scroll.

 That's why I try to avoid social media as much as I can because I can't help but feel things I don't want to. I also tend to judge people too which is something I don't want people to do things to me as well. I have lingering feelings of insecurity and such so it does not help things at all.  I don't want to be eaten alive by this.

Checked!

 Just finished something I could have finished earlier but I slacked off and did other things which to be fair are not useless but just not as needed and urgent as this one. I don't know why I tend to do that someitmes but I'm glad I got myself together and finished this today so I can focus on other things tomorrow!

Pal

 Thinking of joining this prestigious tilt but I think for the wrong reasons. I want to win and get a medal for recognition. Just being honest. But I know that kind of reasoning is not enough fuel to get it, I still struggle with things as well so I might not have what it takes to make it all the way. But I'm entertaining the idea, the deadline is next month so who knows

Near and Far

 So I'm sort of within reach of finishing this thing. If I didn't get lazy yesterday, this would have been over by now but oh well I take full responsibility for my laziness! Because I knew it wasn't really needed that's why I got lazy but well I snapped myself back to being responsible again! OK back to finishing this!

50

It was so hot today that I couldn't concentrate on what I wanted to today but there are still a few hours left today so I might still be able to get something done, good luck! Maybe because it's not really that urgent so I'm not really on beast mode to finish but maybe I should because I like checking something off my list. Okay we'll see

Ally

 Randomly saw Ally McBeal on Disney+ awhile ago. It was a show popular show during my childhood, I think I've seen some episodes but never really understood it because I know I was just a kid! Checked out a few episodes and I really enjoyed it, so funny with the type of emotional beat that aligns with what I like. Will try to check out more episodes in the next weeks I still have the subscription! 

Plate

Finally finished checking the work of trainees that was quite hard to do . But I admit this task had been delayed because I took in too much and also got lazy as well. But at least now I learned how to say no because I just can't find the time to take another trainee at this point. I also need to assess how I teach them as well. One I can see so much improvement which is really great, the other one needs a lot of work but this one needs compassion and patience considering his special situation.  

The heat

 The humidity these days is on another level of insufferable. It's headache-inducing. The dryness will really make you feel a little sick. I'm quite paranoid these days so I really need to be careful. I hope this won't last long.

Farewell

Today was my classmate Walton's burial. I wasn't able to visit his wake or be on the funeral today. I do hope I can visit his tomb soon. I wish I could go but there was just so many complications that prevented me to do so. Walton, kung nasaan ka man ngayon, maraming salamat sa lahat. Rest in peace, my friend. Thank you so much for being so funny, nice and sweet. I will never forget you. Dear Lord, please guide his soul as he travels back to your paradise.

Reset

 So I'm trying to balance things now, I wanted to do some work tonight but then I saw a favorite show of mine is now available on a streaming site, and out of impulse bought myself a month's subscription (at a discounted price from a promo I saw). I figured I do really need to go back to watching shows for leisure again and not just work-related! I still have a lot of things to do but I have some breathing space and I do need to inject some fun again because I've been pushing myself hard and I did realized that it could affect my work's quality. I've worked so hard to not get any pushback and so far so good so yeah I need to take care of myself so I continue to deliver. 

Worn

 One of those moments you feel spent. You gotta thrive on for the better good, you have to think of the worst-case scenario first, you have to take the high road, you have to give way, and you have to be the person not adding unnecessarily to drama. But really sometimes is just hard to take everything in and not breakdown but you have to do it privately and not attract attention because instead of getting the comfort you will just cause unnecessary drama that will just to the multiple emotion you are already feeling. You just have to take it all in no matter how suffocating it is.

Chatty

 I spent the entire afternoon chatting with friends online. I was planning to do some work but I'll just do it tomorrow and while I could get pressed in time but it's fine really. I needed to do some I dunno mindless things today because the past weeks, I've dealt with the back-to-back loss which really made me sad and scared so spending a few hours not thinking of negative stuff was quite a treat. I did realize resorting to escaping via doing work is not helpful too as well. This is my way of self care and tomorrow I will march on again

Bye PEx

After nearly 19 years and over 50K posts, from a regular poster to eventually becoming a moderator and admin, "forg" is logging off for the last time @pinoyexchange 

Salamat PExers, Salamat PEx! 

Reconnect

Had a little bit of annoyance today due to things I've already foreseen but still annoying when it happens in real-time. But I always need to remind myself that things could be worst and this is really a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. So I just distracted myself yet again

Comrade

The thing that I like about writing dubbing scripts is that starting is quite hard to do but once I get into it, I really get into it. Like this recent script, I just finished today, starting it was so hard but I really enjoyed writing it eventually, I was immersed in another culture. I also finished editing the episode after it! I will write the final episode next week and quite looking forward to it but first, I still have quite a list to do but it's fine, I enjoy doing it so much. But of course I've been also learning to slow down as well for my own benefit

Intricate

 What I thought was impossible last night was just me kinda overacting! One thing I did well last night though that after I felt quite overwhelmed with what I was doing, I stopped. Normally, I would push to meet a certain goal but then I realized that I'd been doing myself harm. And after I decided to set that thing for another day it really helped because I felt somewhat refreshed while I still had some difficulty doing that thing at least I had the motivation to finish it and so much better. I was in the right headspace and things run smoothly. We really do need to realize when we are pushing ourselves too much. 

Turquoise

 So I'm about to begin that's really hard and I have very limited to finish this too. Maybe the toughest one yet since I returned to doing this. I hope I can pull this off very well!

Walton

 My classmate Walton passed away early morning today. We haven't seen each other in a while but we were goofing out just recently on a class group chat. I will forever remember his sense of humor. When I became the editor-in-chief of the student paper, he started calling me "chief" even after graduation. His kulit was always endearing and you know that's how he shows his love and care. They gave me a basketball jersey of our course varsity team with my name on the side. I didn't ask for it and they know I don't even know how to dribble a ball but they, led by him, gave it to me as a gift. I still wear it until this day and forever cherish it now.

Rest in peace, my friend! Thank you and we will miss you so much!

Brink

 My classmate's sister's latest update to is not good. I'm scared but looks like it is heading that way. I'm sad and frustrated because getting hospitalized is so complicated and quite unfair too. I'm scared of everything.  Oh Dear Lord guide my friend Walton.

Worried

 A college classmate's life is in critical condition. We've tried our best to help but the reality of financial struggles and complicated public hospital bureaucracy is making things so difficult. In a way,  I became a focal person from our batch which honestly is a pressure to me since we are in the middle of Holy Week and you could feel that some of my classmates are not comfortable facing such stressful situations.  Can't blame them, they already helped financially earlier so it's hard to seek financial help again. So hard and soul-sucking really. I empathize with the sister which whom I've been in contact but there's really so much I can do. She's not pressuring us and is very gracious as well but I could feel the anxiety so much. I wish I have more than enough to help them out by myself. 

Semi Colon

 I woke up at my usual time at 4AM then realizing no work today so went back to sleep again and woke up 4 hours later. I was planning to do something productive but then I was too lazy again! I did not useful but surf the net and read useless stuff. Took a little nap too! Maybe before the night ends I get to do some progress but maybe not! . Oh It's gonna be a challenge but we'll see!

Comma

 Lenten break is upon us but I don't plan to be 100% on break especially yesterday I was not really productive given I was so distracted by what happened to PEx. I did some work today but still need to finish some stuff as well. I want to finish some stuff but not gonna lie I caught the lazy bug. I will try to balance everything, doing some stuff but also taking a break from time to time to clear up my thoughts as my heart is burdened with worries. 

Goodbye PEx!

 Today it was made official the Pinoyexchange.com is closing down. My virtual home for nearly 20 years.Wala ako masyadong nagawa sa work today kasi basa ako ng basa ng mga messages sa pagsasara ng PEx and their memories with PEx. I was happy news outlets featured it as well.  I'm really sad.  Masyado  malaki ang parte ng PEx sa buhay ko.  During a rough time in my life, PEx offered me a freelance gig that helped me so much. Forever grateful. If only I had the means, I would have done everything to save PEx. It was a big part of my life that I will never forget.  I will miss PEx so much.

Down

 Just found out some saddening news. It was inevitable but to see it finally happen still makes me sad. While I wasn't active anymore, I always check in from to time. I had a feeling the end was near because it was not the same anymore and it was to see it slowly go down. It was just a matter of time. Nevertheless, it makes me sentimental of how it used to be and how it was integral in my life. 

Cut

A draining day. Got into some minor accident which left me with a band-aid above my eyelid. And those things, even if so little in the grand scheme of things, bring in a LOT of stress already because people think about their feelings first like I have to settle things to stop further escalation when it's so not needed to because it doesn't solve anything at all.  I'm averse to hassle because all my life I've been dealing with it, I just need boring, non-eventful life.

Laz

 April 1 today. I had a good afternoon nap today which was quite refreshing, not gonna lie! I spent the morning doing the groceries and with the heat, it's just extra challenging. Anyway, I still have things to do but kinda relaxed which hopefully won't bite me in the end.