Snooze

 Feeling a little better but still not in top form that I want to but at least there's improvement which is nice. Hoping to fully recover soon enough because the weather is finally cold which what I've been waiting but I can't appreciate it now because I'm sick. It's such a good weather to just laze around and sleep/nap!

Sneeze

 A bit of a struggle today as I deal with sickness. And there's not comfortable place to rest really. I still deal with stress of all proportions. I hope I get better soon enough so I could function better. 

Before 4

 I don't want to say it's all good, there are still some things I need to worry about but at least it's not the worst scenario brewing in my mind. And all I want is for this to be stable and be away from more hazardous things. I know it will never be like it was before but I just hope for peace of mind and no scary suffering. I always pray hard to God for it and I'm grateful that the worst things in my mind or a repeat of past incidents haven't occurred again. I'm always worried but I take anything I can hold on to. 

Quest

 Quite a busy day and I'm glad because of those doors opening which will keep things stable for quite some time. Now, I still feel envious about that one thing that we were supposed to do but alas things didn't work in our favor!  But what can we do but move on and appreciate those in front of us. 

Unity

 There's some teleserye-level national drama in the country. I don't know what to feel because either choice is a losing one in the grand scheme of things. I also hate that I find all this chaos entertaining somehow because these are still serious things. I don't know where this country is headed!

Will

 I've been struggling to finish one task because it's a little boring like I feel sleepy doing it! But made some progress hopefully tomorrow I can finish it already so I can proceed to do something more in line with my interest. 

Atip

 No one: .....

That person: CREATES DRAMA

It's really frustrating when you are just in a regular mood and then, out of the blue, some people act strangely out of their whims! Sure, intention may be good, but is this worth all the stress you are giving everyone?  Seeking tension as always. I'm so sick of it. 

Gracias!

 Oh thank goodness, some good news finally happened, I was stressing about it already! It's here now!  Thank you Lord! This really helps my mood now because I've been so stress and down!

Sacks

I really want to say something but I can't because it will be misinterpreted and in the end, I will cave in because I just want to avoid stress. But I'm really annoyed with what I perceive as carelessness. Just going in without asking me really. It would have been fine if it had been better planned but things seem to be done in a hasty, impulsive manner and there was a mishandling earlier. I wish I could say what I really feel or something happens to get an epiphany of some sort. 

Unpleasant

 Here I go again with this feeling I can't shake off. Objectively speaking, there's not really awful to feel bad about, it's just that I worry about what could happen and I'm getting scared already. It's just affecting my mood right now. I still feel bad for all the missed shots to the point I'm already going for the "what if" scenarios in my mind which does nothing but my feelings of dread. Still thankful that this is still not that horrible, I need to remind myself that so I could put things in perspective. Heavens, I'm really hoping for good news. 

Drive

I still feel down. A million things in my mind right now. I did some things early to distract myself and also ease some worries. It was good for awhile but I'm back again feeling so off. I know the reason why and it's something I really can't control but I just can't get it off my mind. It worries me so much. 

Plank

Made a little screw-up today because of my overeagerness. I already knew what could happen but couldn't help but still do it. I apologized for my mistake and things are good but I still feel upset. I guess I'm just a little volatile lately the slightest mishap would make me go spiral internally though because I just can't show my true emotions in public because it would stress me out even further.

Greenlit

 Glad to have at least one thing confirmed for the next month. And it's an interesting one for me too so I'm gonna be something interesting to do. But still hoping for more. There's still one hanging over my head although it's already all but confirmed that it's over but I still keep a glimmer of hope that it could still go.

Hard Bread

 It's really hard to deal with mood swings, I'm so tempted to lash out but for my sake I let it go. I just don't want to add stress in my life. I'll do anything to avoid conflict these days. It's just not worth it. 

Defy

 So I spent my day for entertainment. I binged a TV show, a comedy which was good enough but I felt something was lacking but I did get some good laughs and insightful moments. Then I fell into a rabbit hole on YouTube watching random stuff until I got hooked by the marketing of an upcoming which i will definitely see in theaters hopefully next week!

Stir

I'm stressed over someone wanting to create drama when there is none! It really shouldn't come to this when you can just let things slide and forget about it. That person thinks he is entitled to do so but nope you are creating problems when we could all just be at peace. They don't learn. They can't sit still and be appreciative of what there is at the moment. Why create stressful situations? The frustrating part is I can;t confront that person to tell it straight because it will fall on deaf ears. I'm so exhausted of this behavior. ENOUGH!!!!!!

Irvin

 A colleague passed away a few days ago. Rest in peace, Irvin. And even though we never interacted that much in the office, I knew you were great at your work, had a great passion for cinema, and wrote well-written film reviews online.  I visited a message board about film and the Oscars where Irvin is well-known and reading their good words about him is quite touching. We paid our last respects to him earlier today where we met his parents, who despite what they are going through, welcomed us with pleasant smiles. My heart was broken when his mother was telling us about Irvin's last days and how she embraced her son for the last time. I just can't imagine the pain of a parent losing a child.  

Cooked

 Exhausted about everything. But I can't give up. I can't set everything aside and go off. But my mind is an absolute mess right now. Worrying about multiple things. I need to leave non-essential stuff that is just cluttering my mind. I really want to be 100% on essential stuff but damn it, I just get lazy sometimes and need something to distract me. But it's just an excuse most of the time. It's so difficult to take everything in.

Blows

Having a hard time concentrating. I feel worried and restless. A normal thing by now. I was on a roll on a thing I delayed because I couldn't focus and then something happened to put it to a halt. Everything is just so complicated. I can't rest easy. 

Winds

 Glad to receive something new today but hopefully more will be coming just to stabilize things. I'm really interested in this new one because it will take me to another world I'm quite curious about. This is one of the things that I like doing because as someone always curious, getting a glimpse of another world is a treat!