Saturday, August 25, 2018

The Rock

I recently watched this movie SIGNAL ROCK about a guy and his small remote island community. I was able to relate to the lead character in a way as he is the one who absorbs  all the stressful stuff thrown at him. I'm not as strong and as skilled as him though. I'm so limited in a lot of ways but for some reason I have become some sort of shock absorber. I can not fall apart but I wish I could do something more. Financially of course.I'm stable but I wish had more disposable income. Life is harder today to be honest. Luckily I am still able to save some money but I wish I could save more. I've recently appealed for a salary increase which hopefully works out. I really need it. I thought of getting an SSS loan but you see I'm reserving that when there's really a big need. All I need now is better cash flow monthly and one time loan won't improve things.

As I type another stressful stuff is going on and the source if it all is just a small incident. It's actually not that a big of an issue but alas mood swings. You really have be so strong or maybe frigid to take it all in without breaking apart. I remember in December a small incident created such big chaos and it all started because I opened my mouth instead of just staying quiet or diverting the issue. I remember how emotionally damaging that day was. Of course in the end I've set my pride aside and did the move to make it all okay. And in the end all is okay as it often does when emotions are no longer high.  That moment taught me that it's not really worth it to fight back sometimes. I'm too weak and yeah a pushover. Just be quiet or talk minimally. Ignore since it will pass anyway. No need to let myself go through such an emotional torture for small things that could be ignored or not treat as a big deal. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore for less stressful existence.



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