I seriously need time to reflect. Turning 30 this year and I'm freaking out. I'm nowhere near my life goals. I'm constantly worried about how my life in general. Nine years since I graduated from
college and one thing I really missed is my idealism. I’ve felt this beaten
long ago but I refused to acknowledge it because choosing to do so could be the
start of something that I will regret in the long run. It’s a feeling that I’ve
been trying to shrug off as just a phase but I just can’t
deny it anymore. Nine years ago, I had a game plan on how I will live my life
and at present I’m nowhere near what was my dream before. “Was’ because
right now I don’t feel that it’s my dream anymore. I don’t feel the same
drive and enthusiasm that I used to have. I won’t deny that at one point my
life I regretted some of my past decisions that were fueled by passion. I wish
I was more practical and realistic back then. Maybe if I were that kind of
person I wouldn’t feel this way anymore. However if I look back during those times and if I ask myself did I regret having those memories? I can honestly say
that the answer is no. I had the time of my life and I learned so many lessons.
Truth be told, maybe it is part of the reason why I feel this way right now.
I’ve set myself up for disappointment. Maybe it’s not yet late, maybe I could
still be that optimistic fresh graduate that I used to be. But right now I’m
struggling to hold on what little drive that I still have inside
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