Partners

What I thought was potential bad news was not the case. Yeah, sometimes I'm just too paranoid! But nice to be wrong although what's to come is still a challenge but at least it's not an actual scary thing I was conjuring up in my mind!

Choi

 Worked so hard again today but I did get help which is a relief really. Glad to know I have someone I trust who can help me out. I wish could do more for this person, though if I only the means to go beyond. Anyway, next two days, I will face some challenging situations. So help me God. Internaally, I'm so tired but gotta keep marching on

Absorb

 Some things never change. So repetitive but oh well I'm afraid a chage could also bring me stress! Can't win either way! I  just deal with things the best way I can at the moment!

Up Ahead

 The next 3 days will be hectic. I wanted to do a headstart today but I hold it off. Hopefully tomorrow I can maximize everything so things will be less frantic and chaotic! And hopefully some good news too! 

You Go!

 Busy hectic day! I slacked off a little at the start but at least I pulled myself together and went ahead to do what is needed! There were some annoying disturbance earlier on but I tried my best to be patient and went to continue! And now I'm close, let's go1

Here Again

 I got bothered again about something that is not connected to me personally but I'm attached to because it is sort of a passion. I hate being bothered by something that's so inconsequential in my real life but I can't help it. I need to detach again from that because I don't have the capacity to engage in something that causes me unnecessary anxiety on top of my real anxiety-triggering incidents!

#SpotifyWrapped2025

 As a music chart geek, #SpotifyWrapped is always a treat. I like the presentation this year! I like taking a peak at my listening stats! They have this new "Your Listening Age" feature and they mine is 18 because I listen to mostly new music but then again my top album is a Westlife album from 20+ years ago so much for that listening age ahha! My top podcasts have two audio/radio dramas because Nanay loves listening and she does marathons of this every weekend when I'm at home!''

Paper Charms

 A little annoyed but also concerned. I have to support while I'm so worried about a lot of things. I really need to stay calm because others depend on me to be the cushion. I understand the situation but I admit it's exhausting to do a balancing act. To stay low-key so others won't be to privy on you. It's hard but gotta march on.

Vessel

 See, that's why I never want to feel happy because I know it won't last, there's always something that will spoil it one way or another. There's always a catch. I just can't feel stable, every single day something will happen that will annoy me, hassle me, frustrate me, worry me. I know that's how life is and others had it worse so I have to be grateful, but even taking those into perspective, I can't help but feel so much despair even if matters that shouldn't be a big deal. I don't know how I can fix it. It's so tiring kiving this way. 

Love, Joy, Hope

 It's December! Trying to get into the holiday spirit by listening to the new ABS-CBN CSID song. It's a tradition. It's not as good as previous years to be honest but it grew on me and ABS CBN CSID songs always have that charm no matter what that still helps me get some holiday spirit despite the many worries in my mind! 

Kutitap

Hey, there! It's December tomorrow! I wish I could feel the same excitement I had but oh well I long accepted it will never be the same. But we put on a lantern at our house today, it was a hand me down from my brother's boss. It's an expensive lantern and it looks lovely. It brought some magic but then some things just gave me another sinking feeling. Oh well, let's go and move on. 

Zumba

 Always finding an issue to get worked up on. I am so tired but hey gotta put on a brave face and and pretend not to get affected by the endless barrage of ranting and feeling victimized.  Oh well. Another day, same dillemma. 

Shade

Yeah, beginning to see some problematic patterns. Still generally nice, but I've been seeing the loopholes here and there. I also feel like they are constantly seeking trouble too when they could avoid it. Unfortunate for me because I am trapped in the middle of it all. No where to go. Just need to soldier on as always. 

Pup

 Only 15 minutes left and I'll check off one thing on my to-do list, I have two, actually 3 more to do. Come on, let's do this. I really need it badly! I'm just annoyed because there are underlying things that comes with pushing to do this. I made accommodations for the last 3 years or so to my detriment. Recently, I chose to put my foot down because I've had enough of the unnecessary stress that I have to face. Hopefully, nothing will happen to force me to do it again. 

Environment

 I'm getting stressed absorbing other people's stress! Why do I have to be this person who people are comfortable venting their worries, annoyance and grudges! I totally get it, people need an outlet to speak their heart and I appreciate that they trust me but it's getting too much and I'm afraid I will snap at them one time and say don't make things such a big deal! I don't want to happen. Lord, please help me be strong mentally and emotionally, it's so hard. 

Juggle

Oh, so many things to do this week and I hope I can accomplish them excellently! Things will be overwhelming, but this is what I wanted anyway! So let's go and do it all! But now I have to sleep to recharge!

Kevin

 Listened to a very good episode of the podcast Heavyweight (Kevin). It's about two long-lost friends who finally got in touch with each other again. Both had difficult and traumatic childhoods but their childhood friendship held them together. What happened all those years when they got separated abrupty was quite riveting to listen to. They were open and vulnerable when they were telling their storie and it really left a huge impact to me! I will listen to it again!

By Proxy

While doing my weekly palengke run, I bought on a fish stall that I haven't tried before because my usual sukis are jampacked with people and this one had no one it so might as well try and while the vendor was cleaning he asked me if I'm the brother mentioning my Kuya's name and when I confirmed it, he suddently gave me a discount. That's quite nice and yeah maybe I'll buy again next week!

Flash

During moments of impatience and weakness, I try my best to get over it quickly because I'm scared that I'm neglecting the present so much and things could go worse so I should be thankful. I really am. Especially every once in while I will see things that really makes me sad and scared too. I feel like that it's some kind of reminder to me to be appreciative and not give up no matter what. 

Bare

 So without planning to do I became totally honest someone moments ago. Something I've been keeping for so long. Something that has been torturing me for quite some time. Let's just say I pushed myself to do things because of pressure. I felt free. There's a tinge of worry too but at least I spoke my mind. What I truly feel. May I make better decisions soon.