Get 'Em

 Since I've been a little messed up the past weeks I tried to avoid things that will give me unneccessary and shallow stress! I failed at the start because I was leading into another of those but good thing I scaled back past before it annoys me too much. I need to control my impulse sometimes, or maybe most of the time!

Cycle

 Dealing with so many problems and trying to put a brave face on. I am so exhausted. I will try to make an escape and check out because thinking about the many things that bother me is just overwhelming. Endless worries. Endless anxieties. Endless stress. I'm tired. I'm scared. I'm frustrated. I am lost. Lord, please guide me and the people I hold dear. 

Deli

 I was so worried of so many things but after talking it out it was not that horrible afterall and realize some of your gut feel was right all along. That's why sometimes it is need to clarify things head on and not torture yourself with assumptions. 

Signals

Sometimes I wish I didn't know much but it's still a good thing that I know enough so I will be conscious enough of my surroundings and the current status. It is a tricky situation because I know the practical side but also the more emotional, human side that makes things complicated. I'm a bit glad I'm not really the one in position to make big calls because it's a tough one!

Well

 Finished with one thing and now back to emptiness! I hope more stuff will come our way soon. This situation is stressing me out as I fear for a lot of things. While there some blessings today, I'm already worried sick of the future when the well runs dry. God forbid. Oh dear Lord, please hear my prayers and have good news come to us soon. 

Biscuits

 I always try to remind myself that things could get so much worse whenever I feel so frustrated with so many aspects of my life, but there are just simply moments in life when it is just so hard to keep a straight face with so many UNNECESSARY annoyance in life. I'm just really tired dealing with so many things that should not be a problem in the first place. But I really have no choice but deal with it because no one else would step up and take care of things.

Water

 Oh well, instead of just taking things calmly, you go overdrive and make things more complicated than it should be. Always complaining, always finding faults. You simply don't want peace of mind and just want to seek stress all the time. You will never change. I'm so tired of it but I have no choice anyway but deal with all your whining, ranting and meltdowns. I will just try my best to be numb. 

Embrace

 A bit of sigh of relief now with two things coming in so next week won't be a complete waster of resources. One of the most worried I've been in the past couple of years but still hoping for something with a longer leash. Hopefully, it comes soon enough

Hard to Be Happy

Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas has a new song, and how apt it is at this point in my life!

Some days get hold of me

Sometimes it’s hard to just be happy

And I could try

Don’t seem no use to me

Sometimes it’s hard to just be happy

Nokia

 My YouTube rabbithole is people showing old Nokia phones that stillm work today. I love Nokia pjones, they were so sturdy and battery life is insane. I still have a Nokia 101 today for my old simcard / backup phone but it's not the same as the one in the 00s. I'm a little Nokia wasn't able to successfull transition to the smartphone era. 

Dry

 Glad it was quite hot today, although the clouds were a little gloomy. I won't miss the rain anytime soon! There are still a lot of things in my mind, I have so many worries again but really hoping and praying for the best.

Can

 Stressing about money because there are a lot of household expenses right now, some unexpected that I need to attend to. Almost had a meltdown, but I controlled myself, just ranted to myself on my lonesome, then I calmed down and realized these are just small stuff in the grand scheme of things. And yes, things could have been worst. Sometimes you just really need to let it all out and get over it so you move on and function better with a clear mind.

Breaker

 The unlucky streak continues as now a part of our house has now working lights due to some malfunction. To be fair, the other sockets and majority has working electricity so just minor inconveniece and bigger problem has been prevented. Still, I can't help but feel frustrated with yet another blowback but I just reminded this is a solvable problem and I should learn not to panic with such setbacks because I do really tend to spiral internally with it comes to these things. But I don't lash out to anyone to give credit to myself. Oh dear Lord, please help and guide me. 

Pushing Buttons

 I really wanna complain because everything is just pissing me off. You want to creat a more organized setup and some just want to sneak in and mess things up and they have the nerve to be annoyed. I'm patient and I just don't speak because I'm just tired of it all and just wanna get over it but they will find a way to annoy the hell out of me. When will self reflection happen because it's only up to them for them to realize the damage because me pointing it out will just lead me to be guild tripped or turning the table against me so spare me that additional unneccessary stress because I can no longer deal with that!

Unlucky

 What a struggle for me this week was and the week ends with a house appliance not working out of nowhere. I was the one plugged it in and suddenly it's not working anymore. It's like someone is pulling a prank on me. May next week be better.. please

Leak

 There was a glimmer of sunshine and a rainbow earlier but now back to the damp weather. It was so quick and it really made me feel so sad right now. I am once again dealing with multiple anxiety trigging elements that I really have no contol with and some came out of nowhere just when you thought things are already OK. This weather just makes the feeling a lot worse 

Tight

 Bummer, I thought everything was all good then I had to face this out of the blue blow. And it was for something I actually did put some and time effort to. Lucky break! Trying my best not to get myself down and move on to next. 

Damp

 The rains just won't stop! Please Lord let us see the sun shine again! There's just too many stressful things that can happen with typhoons and hard rains! It's been like that for 2 weeks already but the past 3 days were the roughest. I've been so uncomfortable and anxious because of the raings!

Off Script

 Raining all day that I had to work from home today because Metro Manila is just pure chaos right now with the floods and everything. It's really hard to function on a rainy day like this! I hope the sun shines tomorrow please

Gnarly

 The weather today was chaotic but good thing my commute was generally good. I got to work early before the heavy rains poured that made traffic so chaotic! My commute was generally OK too, when there were hard rains I was inside a vehicle and when I was walking there were just light rains. I miss the sun!