Step Inside

 So I attended a meeting at my nephew's school and they encouraged for the students to go there too under safety measures of course. While my nephew was too lazy to come first, we convinced him to come because it will be the first time he will see his school since enrolling for his high school phase last year. Since he spent his pre-school and elementary years in a small school here in our subdivision, he was so amazed to be in a bigger school. I saw the excitement in his eyes! While they won't be coming back to face to face classes anytime soon as the principal announced earlier, they encouraged the parents to get the kids vaccinated as soon as possible to make this a reality. I really hope my nephew will have his real school experience next year at the very least!

Crack

 Something happened today which I'm not gonna lie is something I was hoping would happen just to shake those who refuses to see what's totally wrong. But I'm not trying to be hopeful that this could lead to a more meaningful mindset from the general public. I've been burned too many times but maybe this could be a game changer? I hope so. We desperately need  to get out of this darkness.

Defeatist

Negative thoughts are drowning me lately that a way for me to fight them off is to keep myself and preoccupied most of the time. It's really quite unhealthy that I always think of failing, of losing hope and letting the worst-case scenario grapple me. I'm just scared to think positive then ultimately end up losing. I'm so nervous about where everything is going. I need to stop accepting things if I can do something about it to change the fate. Oh God please guide me. 

You Need to Calm Down

 So after my meltdown last night, I have calmed down. Good thing I kept all those negative energy to myself and not let people know or feel what I'm going through because it would just create unnecessary stress. Unwanted tension. I had a good cry last night in bed trying to sleep and I woke up feeling better. I had a little mini meltdown to myself awhile ago too but my sensible side won thank God. I now go back feeling hopeful, very nervous but fighting for courage. I need to. 

Another L in the Forehead

 So I had this wake up call over a matter that has been an issue for years but I looked the other way so I won't get stressed about it and just hoped it would work out eventually. But now I'm facing the consequences of my negligence. I hope I can work this issue out soon enough. I'm a massive disappointment. I guess it's good I basically closed myself off from anyone so I embarrass myself less.  Or is it? I don't know. I'm just clueless.  

Sub

Yeah the expected political moves happened today and it's still worrying me a lot. I'm afraid that people already experience some form of freedom today will just ignore all the awful stuff that happened. The fanaticism on social media is alarming. So antagonistic. I'm scared, very scared.

Block

 Going to the office tomorrow because there's office service so I'll take advantage of that but honesty it's also a way for me to get distracted and avoid the news tomorrow which will definitely just stress me out because of one inevitable stunt coming to fruition. I feel so scared for next year because I do feel they will win. I have so many frustrations but feel so helpless. So I'll just try to escape at every opportunity.

Well, Well. Well?

 I jumped in the All Too Well 10 Minute Version bandwagon! Say what you want about Taylor Swift but she has really this storytelling power! This song is quite affecting in this major extended edition! It's #1 on Spotify Worldwide which is impressive because in the screaming age, the shorter the song, the more the streams it gets so for a 10-minute song to go #1 is mighty impressive!

***

Crazy days at my country. Political moves that are widely expected but still infuriating. I admit I'm scared they will win. But still clinging to hope there it won't be the case 

Still...

Traffic is really back but while there less restrictions. It still doesn't feel close too normal to me. It just is. 

Office began putting up Christmas but it just made me sad. Second year of a Christmas like this. But I will try to beat this sadness I feel and muster up as much enthusiasm as I can. 

Five

 My family received an unexpected blessing today that made my parents so happy! Whenever I see Nanay and Tatay happy, my heart is full as well. I hope this is a good sign of better days because this has been a tough year. While there will always worries, I fight each day to stay positive and hopeful and a good day like this helps me not to lose hope completely.

New connections

 So today I applied for a bundle cable TV service and fiber Internet connection from a new company that is entering our town. It's local-based company and I've read reviews from its sister company from another and mostly good reviews so I can't wait to have this installed in our house. Our current cable sucks so much ever since they got bought out by a larger company, they were better when they were just a small company, good thing we never upgraded to include Internet service because all I hear about their service is horrible. Hopefully, the fiber internet connection will be good too because the prepaid WiFi we've been using for 2 years now have been failing us lately! 

Solidify

So I was just reminded literally a few minutes ago why I should never be complacent. Absorbing another person's anxiety is so tough but I need to do it. No room for myself to be honest. I need on constant alert all the time. I have such big fears of what is ahead that I just try to avoid thinking about it but I can't escape from it. I'm living it each day. At least my gut feel over a major call is making more sense each day.  It needs to be done for everybody's sake.

Here for the Season

 Yeah, they are still the ones that can produce a Christmas that truly makes me feel like it is the yuletide season. There's always something enchanting and sincere about it. Their song always connects to me.

A Lesson Learned

 I  was watching the news earlier and they were asking common people what they want from a candidate. There was this man who I judged that is in the same "political fandom" just because of his background in life and how he talks but boy I was wrong. He made so much sense and very sensible with his opinions too. Not driven by propaganda, not driven by hate, not driven by antagonism but he became from a place where he just had enough of the hardships in life and simply wants accountability and fairness. I really should not judge people easily. What he said made me ponder if I am also falling in the trap of judging people easily because of how others behave. I should not be blinded by the loud antagonism and bending of truth by people out there. There are real people out there who are not easily swayed by those. And hopefully there are more.  

Timing

  So one thing didn't go as planned today and that led to some consequences. Not MAJOR consequences but still substantial enough to stress me out so much. Admittedly, my anxiety is rooted to my incessant overthinking! I hope it will be settled tomorrow because prolonging this will just lead to unnecessary agony. 

Roundup!

With the cancellation of Mom, Superstore, American Housewife and Brooklyn Nine Nine, my regular comedy schedule has slimmed down but I still continue to watch what's left! So thoughts on the current US Broadcast live action comedies

The Goldbergs - The season premiere tribute to George Segal was so heartfelt and a great way to honor his legacy! After that, it's the same old Goldbergs formula. Sometimes it still hits those funny bones but the same beats over and over again is just tiresome

The Wonder Years 2021 - Generally good show that explores coming-of-age topics so well and sensibly but I gotta admit it's really not LOL funny, it's amusing at best. But still a pleasant show watch.

The Conners - The Darlene storyline has potential especially with her exploration of faith and existential crisis but the character is just annoying and she deserves what Ben is giving her right now! Dan-Louise wedding was the highlight of the season so far, it was so hilarious! Laurie Metcalf continues to deliver the big laughs each episode, she's just amazing!

Home Economics - The show is trying to do a mix of Happy Endings and Modern Family but the problem is? Weak cast chemistry!

The Neighborhood - It's really a good joke/banter-heavy sitcom. Pretty basic but lovable cast.

Bob Hearts Abishola - The wedding episode was so vibrant and a pleasure to watch. Now the main couple is married, they are entering interesting plotlines so far.

Young Sheldon - This season is really handing the build up to Sheldon's dad fate really well with careful study of why George is facing a crisis that will ultimately end up to what Sheldon told us on Big Bang Theory. Also like Georgie's storyline too!

Ghosts - Best broadcast comedy of the moment! The latest episode made me tear up at the same time making me laugh out loud with that Bachelor-type show the ghosts were watching!

B Positive - The second season has a major pivot! It shifted from kidney donation to now being set at a senior home! The first episodes were rough to be honest as they wrap up the previous central storyline and builded the blocks to the new focus of the show. But the last 2 episodes when they finally focused with the new setup has been good so far with new senior characters introduced with interesting storylines. However, the love angle between the leads is tiresome!!!

Side note: They changed the opening from the bloody animated organ operation to a broadway-inspired number with Annaleigh Ashford front and center and I love it!

Of the non-US broadcast comedies I've enjoyed Ted Lasso, What We Do in the Shadows, The Other Two and my favorite Only Murders in the Building!  I'll write some thoughts maybe some other day

Unseen

 So last night Ayala avenue had its annual street lights started already. I just saw it in the news and not in person though because I was working from home yesterday but even if I work at the office I go home before 5PM so there's just no way for me to see it anymore. So for the second year in a row, I won't be able to see it again because there's no way I would stay late in the office these days. But damn 2 years of not experiencing this is making me a little sad. It was always a lovely thing to see and somehow makes me feel in the holiday spirit. Yeah, those days. Even if they are loosening up restrictions now, it's still far from normal, the real normal and not this new normal crap. I'm not sure if I will ever go back that way too. So much has changed.

Happy Birthday Tay!

 Tatay's 67th birthday today! Thank you Lord for keeping him healthy and strong. Please guide him always.

Paved

I had a good chat with an officemate today on how her family is affected by a road widening in their hometown and how they are getting the short end of the stick! They won't get compensated properly with the land they own that will be affected by it and those in power even insinuated that their land ownership over that was wrong in the first place. This a land their family owned for so long and it is only now really? She suspected that this so called widening is just for the benefit of one company because once the road widening their commercial property will now be accessible! I've read stories about this but now that I know someone personally that will get affected I really can't help but feel so frustrated even more! Are we really that powerless now?

Unknown

The start of the final 2 months of 2021! Hoping and praying things will get better personally! I want badly things to go back to normal but I also acknowledge it will never go back the way it once before. So I try my best to manage expectations, as long as it is not as terrible as I feared it will be okay. But I do wonder if this defeatist attitude will be good in the long run? Probably not but I always think of what's best for the moment. It's hard to plan for the future when a lot of things are uncertain. I do wish I was less afraid. It's so frustrating my issues are still the same all these years but my situation has gotten more complicated so whatever dreams I have are further away from reality.