Monday, May 19, 2008


I was supposed to blog about my last day as EIC last Thursday but I had an extended stay until Friday to finish off some responsibilities. I was supposed to write this last weekend but got too lazy too do it haha.
And now I changed my mind, I will no longer write my last day as EIC.
As I've said before, my year as editor-in-chief was one roller coaster ride. I had lots of realizations throughout the year. So many lessons learned. If I will grade myself as year as EIC following DLSU-D's grading system with 4.00 as the highest grade and 0.00 as failing grade, my grade will be 2.25. I am being honest with that. How I wish I could grade myself higher. But I admit I performed below expectations, I cracked under pressure, I was so disorganized and I would like to keep problems to myself. And lastly, I am too "soft" to be an EIC. It worked to my disadvantage.
Somehow, I think I did good in motivating my staff though, out of the 30 apprentices we had at the start of the school year, 23 still remained until the end. That's high because normally, the number of apprentices who survived a year at HF is below half of the original start-of-the-school-year number. And I'm proud to say I was able to discover future HF gems in the future. Aside from the new staffers, I was able to "resurrect" long lost staffers and most of them did fine throughout the school year. I did have a problem handling my co-editors though. My insecurity and the aforementioned "softness" were my flaws. Plus, in the editing/writing department I sucked.
I feel so guilty for being a mediocre leader and most of all a lousy campus journalist. There were so many nights I cried because I could not handle the pressure anymore. Yeah, I'm a weakling. I'm sorry Heraldo Filipino.
Sometimes I wish I should not have pursued being an editor, I was doing well as a regular staff for two years. But this was God's plan and all setbacks happen for a reason. I may not understand now but in the future I'm sure this will come in full circle.
I know this topic has been so repetitive here in my blog. But I need to write this again. I need this.

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