Ouch

The impending jeepney phaseout is stressing me out. As a commuter, jeeps are essential where I lived. I don't know what happens if this really pushes through. Poor drivers who will lose their livelihoods. Not all can afford or are willing to loan money to get the modernized jeepney. Poor commuters because there will be a transportation crisis.  Headache!

Welcoming

The feeling that you just want to be away but here's the truth even if you distance yourself it's what you think anyway. All the time. That's why I can't even in peaceful moments not think that something, a setback will happen again. It's just so hard to  deal with it anymore

Now

I've been having a hard time dealing with stressful situations lately... or maybe not lately maybe all my life.  I just dwell on so much negativity that it consumes me a lot. But most of the time it's an internal feeling, on the surface I need to be someone who is stable because for some reason I found myself to be in a situation where people lean on me. I'm scared of breaking apart for that reason alone. God, please give me the strength to carry on each day because every time there are setbacks I fall apart inside but I continue on because it is what I have to do.

Brown

Here we go again. A small thing blowing up into a bigger deal than it should be. I'm so sick of this happening over and over and over and over and over again. Not gonna lie I want to escape sometimes but I always feel guilty about thinking that in the first place so I just endure and just take all the negativity in. 

Prime

 Amazon Prime Video has been aggressive here lately, they produced a local movie TEN LITTLE MISTRESSES which was marketed very well! They discounted the monthly subscription down to P149/month which is the same prize of the cheapest package of Netflix and Disney+ here and those are mobile-only plans but Amazon is for all gadgets! Netflix recently slashed their "Basic" subscription which can be screened to TV (but just one at a time, can't be watched on multiple screens at the same time) down to 249/month! Anyway, subscribed to Prime Video for a month to watch Ten Little Mistresses and check out their other titles too because they have catalog titles that I like (Mom! 2 Broke Girls! This is Us!). As for the movie, Ten Little Mistresses was fun and colorful but it was a little too long. The premise would actually be served better as a TV show with an episodic focus on each character before the conclusion of the mystery. But still, great to see a big streaming platform pour out money and support to a local production,

Can

 Two new projects came in at work and they are first for our company. English dubbing for a country we haven't done yet. I'm so looking forward to it. There's quite a rush but they have a lot of projects in the pipeline so that is good for us! 

Else

 I've finished some work that I've been struggling to finish for the past few days. It's not immediately due but I want to finish days ahead, actually a week ahead, so I can free myself some time but I failed to do so. Starting it was hard but it was also my fault because I tried to take everything in and not let others step up more. I wanted easier if I just do it myself so i can control the flow but this particular task confronted that it doesn't work all the time. I need to let others take more responsibility so they can learn. And I also learn. So I'm switching some things from now on for this particular task I do and I hope everything works out and I won't have to face the same struggle I had with this one.

23

  What I wanted to escape found a way to confront me again. I guess have 2-3 months to deny to myself what's really happening. But I know deep in my heart what's gonna happen. I'm scared again but I have no choice but to deal with it and pray that maybe there's a miracle. But I'm losing hope truth be told. I'm in a daze. Living again with so much fear. That's why I didn't want to confront this reality but there was just no way I can escape myself anymore. This is it

Sponge

 As always, I'm the one who needs to adjust. It's actually okay but just didn't like the approach to convince to give way yet again. I'm fighting the urge to be upset because I don't want to attract negative energy for tomorrow. Dear Lord I can endure this because in the grand scheme of things it's just a small issue but please don't let my worst fear happen. No.

Ahead

Hoping for some good news to welcome the week and also as it continues. I get so nervous really that whatever good vibes streak could end but hopefully not, I want stability and fewer worries. I know life isn't that way most of the times but still hoping whatever negative scenario I have stays on my mind and will not manifest. 

No Rainbow

 I'm not really a fan of this country's LOUD videoke culture. Why does it have to be loud for your neighbors to hear? Why can't it be just you yourselves enjoying hearing your singing voices while getting drunk? Sure given I'm an introvert who does not like events like this or drinking because people will make you uncomfortable. Anyway, I'm not a confrontational type so you really just have to endure these things because that's how life is. 

Hold

 Here we go again tomorrow. Hopeful that things will be fine but as usual I'm scared as well. I prayed hard today for good outcome. But trying not to overthink it by investing a lot of my time doing work! Speaking of work, I accomplished a lot today! Edited episodes, made the formal selection of the next titles to air on our channel, and wrote and edited dubbing scripts for a cartoon and Korean drama! Nothing immediate that I need to do this weekend so yay! After house errands, I'll probably just sleep in the afternoon!

Modify

 So I made some firm changes lately because I tend to do things that I think will be faster but yet skip a step that will improve growth and benefit me in the longer run. I tend to be lazy as well and just choose the easier way for me but then I realized I just make things harder for myself in the long run if I don't act accordingly. Give a teaching moment and not settle for mediocrity when there's so much room to grow. I hope mapanindigan ko and not just give in easily. 

Scratch

 My sister saw a draft of an essay my nephew did for school and she was impressed by how good a writer he is. She had me read it and I agree, my nephew at 14 expresses himself very well and is quite articulate too. I'm not that surprised though because I did notice how articulate he is becoming especially since he has been interacting with online friends based abroad and he speaks loudly when they chat. It's cool to see though he has grown to be quiet at this and computer stuff too. He'll be in college not for a few years left and as of now he doesn't know what he wants to pursue yet, that's understandable and he has a lot of time too. So no pressure but I'm quite excited for him

Treats

For the first time ever, the office had a little Valentine thing today! They gave us chocolates and some officemates surprised "serenaded" our big boss! It was kind of bizarre but also nice as well! And we had food, spaghetti! pancit! cake! barbecue! chicken lollipop! Hoping this a good sign for more good things to come in the future! Celebrate love!

Radio

 Happy World Radio Day! I grew up with radio and it all started nung nag-brownout for one month due to Typhoon Rosing and there was no other form of entertainment but the transistor radio. Na-hook ako with such shows like Tiya Dely radio drama and Ernie Baron's Q&A show Knowledge Power. I woke up every 5AM to prepare for school with the radio in the background from elementary and to college. My childhood FM station was 93.9 WKC because they had child-appealing DJs, I mean they had "The Count" hosting their weekly music countdown which of course started my love for music charts that lasted for decades. I was around 10 when I really got addicted to FM radio to the point na memorize ko ang Mega Manila stations from 88.3 City Lite to NU 107 and I can switch to a station without looking at the radio dial because alam ko ang order, the type of music they play and their "mood" so to speak.  Of course, I did dream of working for a radio station but not as a DJ because I don't have the voice and the personality for it but as a programmer, conceptualizing shows and formulating the schedule 24/7. I remember I had a notebook where I wrote that fantasy radio programming schedule! In college, I was thrilled because my school was starting its own radio station during our time and we were the first ones to use the then-new radio booth and produced newscasts and radio dramas for our class. I didn't join or even tried for college radio back then they were starting back then because I'm already doing one of my dreams too which was to write for the school paper (and also I'm not a voice talent!).

 I'm not the radio caller type because I'm shy and I hate how I sound so I was glad nung na-uso na yung texting the radio stations and what a thrill it was to hear my name (or my codename "forg" ) on air! My "influencers" back then were radio DJs and when I met my favorites such Triggerman and Chico & Delamar in person, I was so happy! One thing I like about working in the dubbing industry is meeting a lot of DJs of my time (both the high-end and masa DJs!) and seriously na-starstruck ako sa iba, even if I don't really interact with them but just hearing their voices in person!  Admittedly, I spend more time these days listening to Spotify for my music and audio talk fix via podcasts but radio is still part of my life as my parents are more radio listeners than TV watchers so the radio is turned on here for like 20 hours a day (the radio is like the perfect background to fall asleep and also a good alarm clock!). And from time to time when I get bored listening to my playlists or there are no new episodes of the podcasts I listen to, I radio surf and you know there's still a different feel when you hear a song on the air. I don't know how to explain succinctly but I guess radio still has that magical effect on me.

Cherry

 I feel bad for my brother whose phone got broken. He was trying to fix a minor issue but instead got the worst outcome instead. That phone was really special to him. I told him it could still get fixed but he don't trust technicians because of prices and such. He's planning to buy a new one instead. I hope he does. He chose to stay at home actually after getting laid off to help watch over Nanay after she was hospitalized and operated.  And the phone was his source of entertainment from YouTube, Spotify and Netflix. He has a lot of savings so he can actually buy one so I hope he does

Walk You Off

So I subscribed to this streaming platform because it had a good deal on GCash for just 39 pesos, I get a month subscription which is 70% off from the usual stuff. I subscribed for one show and it was one of the projects I worked on last year  - an English dubbing script. I loved the show along the way and I wrote  ADR scripts of it for 10 episodes. So I'm gonna watch it again (I watch my episodes and some but not in full) and in full English dub version while also checking how the other episodes were written/modified as a way for me to broaden my vocabulary which will help in my dubbing script process! For example, I learned the phrase "walk you off" which is similar "to I'll walk you to the door" to "I'll show you out". 

  And also it is just a good show, so engaging!

AP

 I got an offer to do a dubbing script outside our company which is of course not allowed due to conflict of interest and this was a past issue here already, people working writing scripts outside. It was the reason why before we couldn't write scripts here in the company for extra income. Now that it is allowed already, I will never do such a thing to break the trust the admin gave me. I worked hard when it was finally allowed so I will never do things to put tarnish that.  I did recommend a former co-worker who just resigned due to health issues because she's a writer as well and familiar with dubbing scripts too. Plus, I know being at home make her quite bored and lonely so I hope she gets this gig. 

Eighteen

 Hey, I forget again to post on the exact day of my blog anniversary on February 4! I'm thrilled that this blog is still alive and google is not shutting this blog service down and hopefully they would never! This has been my online "spot", especially for the last THREE years! Blogging every single day even if it was nothing of importance or just rambling thoughts. It has been helpful in getting things off my chest or at least decluttering my thoughts and processing my emotions. More years to come!

Partly

 Only semi-successful with my goal today! I did work on it but I could have done more because I was slacking at the start then when I picked up momentum I had to stop. Now I'm trying to resume it to make up for lost time! But not really fully moving forward maybe it's a sign for me to take a breather. Hopefully, I'll do better tomorrow!

Want

Glad I was able to finish something in advance today which opens up time for the next few days to do some other things I need to finish. My enemy is of course myself because starting sometimes is a struggle when I get do distracted but hopefully I can set my mind better tomorrow. 

Encore Please

Another week of me figuring out everything but being busy is good and I actually want more to come actually. It will be a year since projects came pouring in and I hope it happens again this year!

Off the Grid

I didn't come to my college classmates get-together today because I did genuinely had a family errand to do coinciding with the meetup time but not gonna lie I'm relieved I guess I had a valid reason to not go. I'm just not my confident self anymore and they went home past 7PM too and I can't stay that late these days for various reasons. I feel mixed about it, I dunno. I used to meetups before and attended baptism and birthday parties too of my college friends' kids. But things changed in my life that it's just not simple to do that any longer especially now since the pandemic furthered changed my life. 

Nothing

 I didn't do anything noteworthy. I was planning to do some work but I got lazy. Yeah, after 3 days of hardcore work, I guess I needed this?  Tomorrow I promise to be more productive!

Assist

 I really went all in finishing this dubbing script the past two days and glad I was able to finish it earlier than expected. I'm quite busy again these days, we have a new Tagalog dubbing project for a Korean drama set to air on local TV. Then we have English dubbing for a cartoon that I really liked doing. At the same time, I've been training our admin's husband online on how to do a dubbing script. He had to stay at home in the meantime due to an illness and he wanted something to not waste his time. He's really a nice and polite man so I've been checking up on him as much as possible while he is doing scripts. He's fluent in English so he can write just needs polishing with synching and I believe he can do it. To be honest, I sympathize with what he's feeling since before he got sick, he is a very busy man so from that to not doing anything at home is a big change for him. So I really he's able to enjoy writing dubbing scripts and I hope I he's actually learning something from me. 

Katinko

I officially reached that age where I find Katinko ointment such a gift! I felt a little off earlier today and decided to buy myself Katinko for the very first time. And well the hype is real, it really gives a quick soothing feeling and all the body aches I felt were gone in just a few minutes!

Odyssey

Yesterday last day nung record store sa Festival Mall Alabang na formerly known as Odyssey before it rebranded to O-Next. It has been there on the same spot na malapit sa food court since 1998 and it was a big record store na may mini second floor, it was then called Odyssey XL. Over the years, lumiit ang space nila as the market changed. I was quite amazed that the shop was able to hang on the last few years but ultimately due to high rental rates hindi na rin kinaya. I bought so many tapes, CD, VCDs, DVD and earphones there. Inevitable but still sad to see it go.

Anyway, if you are still into the physical format check out Drake Gonzales's CD's Atbp.  He also has a physical store over in Puregold, Libertad. He sells old and new stuff and can order for you as well.  I met him online during my music chart geek days when he would send me the top sellers ng Astrovision where he used to work. He became a friend ever since even if we haven't really met in person. I'm always impressed by how hardworking he is keeping the physical format alive when he started selling online and ultimately establishing his own shop. He now manages indie bands as well.  So if you can, please support his shop.