Bye 2020

It goes without saying how terrible this year have been, biggest of it all is the loss of two uncles one month apart. So many challenges brought upon by the pandemic. A lot of frustration with the current political climate. In a year where you just can't shake hands anymore or breathe freely without a mask on, there's a new found appreciation on simple things that we take for granted before. I wish I can say I'm leaving 2020 with less anxiety but I don't want to fool myself because it isn't the case. There's a lot of matters I worry these days but one thing my favorite movie of the year (Soul) taught me is that to obsess less and appreciate more. I'm not saying we should be in denial of pressing problems but just don't let the bad energy consume you. 

May you all have a safe last day of the year and a hopeful new year ahead.

My 10 Favorite Comedy TV Episodes of 2020

 Here is my annual rundown of my favorite episodes of the sitcoms/comedy programs I watched this year. Like in previous years for variety purposes I just chose one episode per show. Check out my top 10 lists over the years: ,2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013,2012

1. One Day at a Time Season 4 Episode 3 "Boundaries"

- The show did the impossible when it got picked for a Season 4 after Netflix cancelled. Unfortunately, due the pandemic production for the fourth season was cut short to just 6 episodes and one animated special and ultimately the show got cancelled again. Those 6 episodes were precious though and had decent de-facto series finale. The third episode where Penelope got caught masturbating by her son and her mother Lydia was petrified. This is a hilarious episode and Rita Moreno's meltdown is so unforgettable. I'm sad the show has ended for good but grateful for these extra episodes we have gotten.

2. The Good Place Season 4 Episode 13/14 "Whenever You're Ready"

The two-part series finale of this wonderful show was so lovely. I'm glad they had that extra runtime to give everyone a closure! Best scene probably the heart to heart between Chidi and Leonor. The quote above waves was so beautifully written. The fun is in the mystery and not knowing what's gonna happen exactly. 

3. Superstore  Season 6 Episode 3 "Floor Supervisor"

This show faced the challenge of doing an episode about the pandemic and losing its lead character at the same time while the episodes tackling both were top notch, the third episode was for me the highlight as we see saw the show work out being set in a pandemic but not overwhelmed by it and how it maximized its ensemble so you won't miss there's lacking with Amy gone. Sadly, it was recently announced that this season is the final one! I will savor the final episodes next year!

4. The Conners Season 2 Episode 12 "Live from Lanford"

I'm a sucker for live episodes and this show pulled it off to great lengths. This episode had the extra challenge of inserting live news coverage about the democratic primaries and it was impressive how they did it so well and main props to young actors Ames McNamarra because he was the one tasked to do the live commentary of the episode as it happens 

5. What We Do In The Shadows Season 2 Episode 5 "Colin's Promotion"

This is my new discovery this year thanks to its Emmy nominations! What a gem! This dark comedy isn't really that dark unlike other cable / streaming comedies that goes too dark that it loses the humor, this one is flat out hilarious! My favorite episode is all about my favorite character Colin,an energy vampire that does not suck blood but life energy by boring his victims out! 

6.  Bob's Burgers Season 11 Episode 2 "Worms of In-Rear-ment"

Since animated shows produce episodes way in advance, it was such a coincidence that they had an episode about a mini epidemic of pinworms within the Belcher family. This was such a hilarious episode that still makes me laugh just thinking about it.

7. Mom Season 8 Episode 5 "Sober Wizard and a Woodshop Workshop"

Another show that lost its lead character with Ana Farris leaving the show this season. All the episodes without Christy didn't feel that much different and this episode was such a good showcase of the cast and it was made special by an appearance of Alvin, Bonnie's ex and Christy's dad who died several seasons ago, via a dream sequence. The rapport was still there and was also quite sweet and showed how much the character of Bonnie have grown. 

8. Modern Family Season 11 Episode 11 "Legacy"

This modern classic ended this year but while I greatly enjoyed the two-part finale episode, the 11th episode was for me the final's season highlight because this was the final appearance of Phil's dad  Franck where they spent one last great day together and then later on it was revealed that Frank passed away. The actor, Fred Willard, passed away 4 months after the episode aired. 

9. American Housewife Season 5 Episode 3 "Coupling"

This sitcom is quite underrated because it's so funny thanks to a great cast and fantastic joke writing. They also do edgy for broadcast family comedy jokes! This episode in particular made me laugh out loud on how the parents reacted when they found their college aged daughter and her boyfriend slept overnight at their house! The way they handled it was so unexpected but so hilarious!

10. Central Park Season 1 "Episode One"

I  watched this because it's from the makers of  Bob's Burgers and I was not disappointed. The best thing about the show are the musical numbers! The songs are really phenomenal! The Bob's Burgers songs are funny and all but this one they really took it to another level This one from their pilot grabbed me instantly. A great mix of witty creative lyrics and fantastic musicality and this episode featured the fantastic number and song OWN IT. 

My 5 Favorite Movies of 2020

Yeah because of the pandemic I've watched very few new films so I didn't have that much to choose from so I'll just pick five that left an impact to me this year.

5. Palm Springs

- A nice and enjoyable romcom with a time loop concept. Cristin Millioti is such a delightful actress and glad to see her around after her star turn on How I Met Your Mother

4. Onward

- May not be a top tier Pixar but still a pretty good movie with a strong message. This lovely tale about two brothers showed sometimes what we've been wanting for us was already there right in front of us but we ignored because an obsession to an idea could often blind us of what is already there. 

3. Four Sisters Before The Wedding

- The prequel to the modern classic Four Sisters and a Wedding had a tough act to follow and I'm happy to say they did a good job that serves as a nice companion to the original. The storylines were all connected seamlessly with each sister getting a fair share of spotlight. The car park confrontation scene is a riveting moment. 

2. Fan Girl

- A sensational film that dig deeps into fanaticism and how it tends to enable problematic behavior because of blind obsession. And this isn't just about showbiz fanaticism too! Charlie Dizon delivered a fantastic performance and the biggest reason why this film was so good and captivating

1. Soul

- A mediation on mortality where it gives you not just the emotional moment but thought provoking ideas on you live your life. I feel like this such a perfect movie to capture the spirit of 2020. Yes there is the loneliness and anxiety we were all been captured by this year but there is also the new found appreciation on matters that we take for granted before. One of the key moments of this movie is when a character "lived" a life through the basic senses - sight, taste, touch. It left me speechless because how often do we ignore these basic senses right? Now in this year where you just can't touch some person easily or breathe freely without a mask on, we totally realized how those basic stuff means so much more. A  movie that makes you realize about this matter is truly special.

Favorites from the past years:

2019

2018

2017

2016

2015
2014
2013
2012
2011

Justified?!

So the issue of unregistered vaccines in the country to give some 'chosen ones' is so stressful because the reach some people are giving to justify the action done is so unbelievable. Harap harapan na tayo ginaganito. There is an admission from certain units that the vaccines given were not registered to the proper authorities and yet being given excuses and requests to not make this a big deal? WHY? For the months we followed every single health protocol in this pandemic, if a simple mask wearing needs to be complied so how come this chaotic and shady unregistered vaccine administration should not be given a big deal? It's so hard to be hopeful in 2021. I feel so hopeless. 

My Hot 100 for 2020

My favorite songs for 2020

1. Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

2. Lifetime - Ben & Ben

3. exile - Taylor Swift feat Bon Iver

4. Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

5. Pag-Ibig ang Hihilom Sa Daigdig - Raizo Chabeldin, Biv De Vera

6. Paubaya - Moira Dela Torre

7. my ex's best friend - Machine Gun Kelly feat blackbear

8. Don't Start Now - Dua Lipa

9. Adore You - Harry Styles

10. If The World Was Ending - JP Saxe feat Julia Michaels

11. Supalonely - BENEE feat Gus Dapperton

12. The Bones - Marren Morris

13. Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay - Ben & Ben

14. Love Me Anyway - Pink feat Chris Stapleton 

15. Mean It - Lauv and LANY

16. Take What You Want - Post Malone feat Ozzy Osborne 

17. Masyadong Pang Maaga - Ben & Ben

18. Nakikinig Ka Ba Sa Akin - Ben & Ben

19. Tinig ng Mga Nawalan - Danile Padilla, Kathryn Bernardo and Mga Kapamilya Pilipino

20. Ikaw Ang Liwanag at Ligaya - Various Artists

21. Physical - Dua Lipa

22. Stuck With U - Ariana Grande & Justin Bieber

23. Beautiful Scars - Maximillian

24. forget me too - Machine Gun Kelly feat Halsey

25. Kapamilya Forever - Angelo Anilao  

26. Make it With You - Ben & Ben 

27. Say So - Doja Cat

28. cardigan - Taylor Swift

29. Catching Feelings - Inigo Pascual

30. Wondering - Olivia Rodrigo, Julia Lester

31. In Your Eyes - The Weeknd

32. Be Kind - Marshmello feat Halsey

33. Levitating (remix) - Dua Lipa feat DaBaby

34. Imahe - Magnus Haven

35. Di Ka Sayang - Ben & Ben  

36. Intentions - Justin Bieber feat Quavo

37. Ice Cream - BLACKPINK feat Selena Gomez

38. Araw Araw - Ben & Ben 

39. Lose Somebody - Kygo and One Republic

40. Dynamite - BTS

41. At My Worst - Pink Sweat$

42. Mood - 24kGoldn feat Iann Dior

43. Oh Yeah - Green Day

44. How You Like That - BLACKPINK

45. WAP - Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion 

46. South of the Border - Ed Sheeran feat Camilla Cabello and Cardi B 

47. Hindi Tayo Pwede - The Juans

48. Where I Belong - Simple Plan feat We The Kings 

49. TLC - Kyla and Kikx

50. Therefore I Am - Billie Eillish 

51. So Much Better - Evan Olsen

52.  Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

53. Wonder - Shawn Mendes 

54. Banana - Conkarah feat Shaggy 

55. positions - Ariana Grande

56. Godzilla - Eminem feat Juice WRLD

57. MAMACITA - Black Eyed Peas

58. the 1 - Taylor Swift 

59. Rain on Me - Lady Gaga feat Ariana Grande

60. The Box - Roddy Rich

61. Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

62. MABUTI - Black Eyed Peas

63.  Say it Again - AJ Mitchell 

64. The Man - Taylor Swift

65. Kings & Queens - Ava Max

66. Que Calor - Major Lazer feat J Balvin and El Afa

67. death bed (Coffe on Your Head) - Powfu feat beadbadoobee  

68. Savage Love - Jason Derulo

69. Put a Little Love on Me - Niall Horan

70. Own It - Central Park Cast

71.  I Hope - Gabby Barrett 

72. My Oh My - Camilla Cabello feat Da Baby

73. Holy - Justin Bieber feast Chance the Rapper

74. Rare - Selena Gomez

75. Roxanne - Arizona Zervas

76. Break My Heart - Dua Lipa 

77. Do It While We Can - Central Park Cast

78. Not Losing You - Maddie Poppe 

79. Kahit Kunwari Man Lang - Agsunta feat Moira Dela Torre

80. Tattoos Together - Lauv

81. Put It All One Me - Ed Sheeran feat Ella Mai

82. Come & Go - Marshmello fet Juice Wrld

83. Bring It On Home - American Authors feat Maddie Poppe and Philipp Phillips 

84. Daises - Katy Perry

85. I Love Me - Demi Lovato

86. Perfectly Imperfect - Jayda and Jeremy G

87. Tick Tock - Clean Bandit, Mable, 24Goldn

88. Alab - SB19

89. Ang Sa Iyo Ay Akin - Aegis

90. Wrong Direction - Hailee Steinfeld 

91. Matches - Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys

92. Slide - H.E.R. feat YG

93. Fall On Me - A Great Big World feat Christna Aguilera 

94. evermore - Taylor Swift feat Bon Iver

95. Bawal Lumabas - Kim Chiu

96. Nice to Meet Ya - Meghan Trainor feat Nicki Minaj

97. Me & You Together Song - The 1975

98. Magandang Dilag - JM Bales

99. Be Like That - Kane Brown feat Swae Lee and Khalid

100.  (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction - Cast of Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist 

***

My Hot 100 for 2019

My Hot 100 for 2018

My Hot 100 for 2017

My Hot 100 for 2016

My Hot 100 for 2015

My Hot 100 for 2014

 My Hot 100 for 2013

My Hot 100 for 2012 
My Hot 100 for 2011
My Hot 100 for 2010
My Hot 100 for 2009  
My Hot 100 for 2008
My Hot 100 for 2007

Snippets 9

I was supposed to go to the office today but without my carpool shuttle around again, I decided against it. I texted my manager that I won't be able to go the office but committed I will do my tasks from home and he said it was fine. It's just 2 working day anyway with national holidays on Wednesday to Friday. But in pre-pandemic times, I loved going to work in between Christmas and New Year because it's so relaxing with no heavy traffic around. And I have an office routine at the end of the year where I clean my desk and put on new desk calendars which I won't be able to do this year. A little sad but with everything that happened this year, it's a small issue now.

***

Still no news when we will get our delayed 13th month. It still makes me sad thinking about it and I admit that perhaps it's a reason I don't have that much drive to go the office lately. I hate to admit that  but gotta let it out.

***

A new year is coming and I should be doing my routine year end list but I don't have that much enthusiasm really but I do want to continue the tradition I have here on this blog so yeah I'll do it starting tomorrow

Soul Snippet

So I saw Soul recently and what can I say? Pixar did it again. Another masterful story that goes beyond kiddie entertainment. Soul is a meditation on mortality with a final act that took it to another level. Life affirming and heartwarming, Soul is a perfect film to cap off in this unforgettable year. Glad to had the chance to see in the big screen because it's such a beautiful movie!

Leaves so much to be desired

 So yeah there was, wait it is still ongoing, press conference by the government about the latest COVID19 developments like the new strain found in other countries specifically UK. There was another questionable moment really where the health secretary said a travel ban isn't necessarily unless there's local transmission in that country. Are we going to make the same mistake twice? Like haven't we learned really? We should be proactive and not reactive. Then there's the insistence of getting a vaccine with only 50% effectivity rate because it is the one easily available for us. Oh my goodness what a  "gift" a day after Christmas. 

A 2020 Christmas

There was an earthquake this morning! What a 2020 type of greeting this holiday! Admittedly, I didn't feel it because I was still asleep when it happened. Thank God, it was not as dangerous that it could have been.

In general it was a silent Christmas. No kids roaming around to ask for Pamasko house-to-house, no videoke even. We went out to visit my uncle's grave and there was no heavy traffic. After visiting his grave, we went home and stayed here all day. Nothing much happened really, people slept or were on their phones.. I was on my laptop and streamed FAN GIRL, a movie on this year's Digital MMFF and I liked it a lot with a strong central performance from Charlie Dizon. 

This day to be honest felt more ordinary than usual but it's okay as long as the family is complete and healthy. That's all that matters really.

This holiday season is, without a doubt, different but if there is one thing I've learned from all of this is that don't let what you don't or can't have blind you from appreciating what you currently have. Be grateful because it could have been worse. 

Merry Christmas!

Silent Night

When caroling was banned this year I thought I would like it. Hindi ako nangaroling noon and I'm not exactly a fan of it but this year I do miss hearing kids outside singing (or shouting) the same song over and over again and me saying patawad. It is so eerily quiet now. It's a strange Christmas but I did try my best today and put my anxieties at the backseat. I'm grateful my family is safe and away from harm despite such a challenging year.  Oh Dear Lord, may the future be brighter. 

Demotivated

 I honestly feel bad that I have less enthusiasm to do things today and not gonna deny it's because of recent events. I'm a mess. I understand why such things happened and yet I really can't help but feel so down. I'm still hoping for some last minute reprieve but it's clear it ain't happening. I'm putting myself in their shoes and I know it must be tough to deal with this and disappoint so many people. I'm still very thankful though I had no salary delay all these months of working from home and staggered days of working at the office. It makes me feel bad that the company is in this situation right now. I feel so uneasy. I wonder if ABS-CBN didn't lose their franchise and they were still in better financial shape, would our projects with them help our company get the funds to provide what we needed? I know for a fact when ABS-CBN became the company's client, it helped the company big time. Our bosses said that before. We recently got a new project with them thankfully but probably too late or not as big to help things out. I wonder if some of my officemates who were pro-shutdown even considered this that if our biggest client didn't get shutdown, it would benefit us as well? Probably not. 

Lousy Feeling

So we received a message from management apologizing for the delay of the 13th month pay and also explaining why it is the case. I understand it totally and I know they are committed to give it to us but the question is when. Tomorrow is the last banking day and I doubt we can make it in time. So for the first time ever, I won't have it before Christmas. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? My sensible side speaks to that but no matter how I try to contain this feeling, I'm just not successful. This unfortunate incident just opened a can of worms. Mostly financial. I really love this job and company, I won't be here for 11 years if I didn't but man it's really hard to not feel  like this. I got left behind. That's the truth. I wish I didn't feel this way. 33 and nowhere in life but stagnant. I know in a time of pandemic and little job opportunities I should be more grateful and I truly am. I just hate the feeling triggered by the delayed 13th month pay. If I were in better financial state, I wouldn't feel this way. But I'm not. I've lived in so much mediocrity for years now. I know it and I thought I've accepted it. But yeah it clearly wasn't the case. 

We Need to Care

 So yeah another day in 2020, another tragedy enters mainstream consciousness. A policeman shot a middle aged mother and and his 25-year old in broad day light in front of his daughter. There was an argument between  the mother and the the policeman's daughter due to disturbance created by a homemade firework. It's a small claims conflict that led to a big tragedy. The video of the shooting went viral and of course people are mad but of course unsurprisingly, there's still those who justify the appalling behavior of the policeman.  I wish I can say I can't believe it but no, this nation had been desensitized by crimes like this. This is what happens when aggressive behaviors are coddled.  I am afraid.

5 Days

 Christmas is near and at least the weather is cold now so at least something from the old normal is felt now. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude towards the holiday season because focus on the positive because it could have been worst, right? It's a different Christmas, the atmosphere is just so sad but hey I think after what we've been through this year the celebration of the holiday should be more meaningful. Yeah, I should keep that in mind and not let myself go down the rabbit hole of sadness. 

OK-ish

 After yesterday's disappointment, I felt  better today basically because I didn't think about it that much. If I don't dwell on those thoughts, then I don't have to feel bad about it again. Anyway, there's still next week and hopefully we can receive it as soon as possible. In a way, I feel bad for wanting to get this money so bad, I feel like I'm desperate for it with the way I reacted yesterday. Oh well. 

Disappointed

 So today we had an office Christmas lunch care of the admin and we really all thought this is the day that we get our 13th month but unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances it was delayed to next week. Oh well. I totally understand the situation but I can't help but feel down today. I really should have not raised my hopes up and already planned in my head what I will buy. I'm quite ashamed to say this but I shed some tears on my way home. The traffic was bad. The rainy weather made me even more sad. Good thing it was dark inside the shuttle and I was alone in the fourth row so no one noticed I was having an emo moment. I keep reminding myself other people had it worst so I shouldn't act this way The admin committed we will get it next week and I believe them of course. However, I can't help myself because today really made me feel so lonely. I really hate this year. 

Soul

 SM announced today on  Facebook that Pixar's latest SOUL will be shown here in CINEMAS! Of course in MGCQ areas only. It will be shown here on Dec. 25 since Metro Manila Film Festival will go digital this year so the open cinemas needed to find something to screen on that day! I really hope I could watch it on the big screen since there's an open SM Cinema near me! I truly miss being immersed in the cinema. 

Good Sign

An officemate went around the office with a menu from a restaurant asking to pick what meal we like. Apparently, there will be a Christmas lunch here in the office from the administration. I think this will be in lieu of a Christmas party which is banned this year because of you know what. Hopefully, that will be the day we receive our 13th-month pay! Really looking forward to it especially this year. 

Forward

So I learned about some positive development in a major work responsibility I have. I was worried that this certain project was going to end soon due to economic reasons but glad to have confirmation that it won't be the case. I'm glad to be able to continue working on that project because hey it secures my employment first and foremost. There are some changes about it too which for now since quite messy because plans are not yet solid, there's just the general idea and I guess I have to figure things out along the way? It will be extra difficult with the current 'new normal' work setup but I'll manage. I will get stressed but I will find a way like I have always been the past few years in this job. This certain change will also push me to do something I've been mulling to do anyway! In such a tough year, I'm glad to have something to look forward to next year.

Down

 So Google was down awhile ago so all of the platforms it owns were down as well - Gmail, YouTube and  Blogger. Gmail is the one I used for both work and personal so it stressed me a bit although I had no pending email to receive and send but that's just my nature I guess, I just worry! Anyway, I thought my blogging streak of posting daily will end tonight but nope Google services are back just in time! Anyway, it is another hot day today. Summer weather in December, nothing could be more annoying! But this year has brought nothing but strange things really. 

There's a report today about COVID19 cases rising in Metro Manila for the past week, well not surprised given how complacent people have become. But honestly I understand because there's this lockdown fatigue already. However, the threat of this virus is still here. I sincerely hope next year we could see some recovery already. 

Snippets 8

 It's insanely hot today. It feels like we are back in the summer. Yeah one more thing to make this season less-Christmasy! Actually, the humid weather started last night. I do hope there's no big storm coming though because sometimes a weather like this is followed by a typhoon. Hopefully, not! 

***

Apparently, our barangay is now free of active cases which is good news but I feel like it made people more complacent? I saw a birthday party earlier with no social distancing whatsoever then there's a newly opened mini-mall here and lots of people went there! Social distancing in the line entering the mall was observed but still many people. It almost feel like everything's back to normal here, I wish I could be happy with this but I can't help but feel worried. Never be too complacent really.

***

I watched Four Sisters Before The Wedding on iWant TFC PPV. It's showing in a theater near me  and honestly I would have seen it there but the traffic is heavy in that area so not worth the stress! I liked the movie, it's so enjoyable and captured the original movie's essence. Good casting with the younger versions, I really liked Gillian Vicencio, she totally felt like she was a young Angel Locsin.

Whew!

The stuff I was worried about is something medical related to my mother and today felt like it was going the wrong way because her usual doctor  had to take the day off and we were scheduled today to have her laboratory results reading and follow up check up. My mother likes this doctor so much because he explains things thoroughly and has a pleasant appearance that relaxes her. He'll be back Monday but my mother decided to have her lab results still checked by the doctor who is present. We were the only people in the clinic but the doctor took about 20 minutes before he called us to the consultation room. I was worried during those 20 minutes thinking that he found something wrong in the lab results. I knew my mother felt nervous too. When we were finally called in, the doctor apologized that it took so long because he checked all my mother's records in the clinic since this is the first time he will be checking up on her. The lab results were good, nothing really alarming to worry. What a relief! My mother's mood definitely brightened for the rest of the day. 

 Everything just seems scarier than usual these days so glad at least this one concern didn't end up in another stressful situation

Thank you Lord!

Fidgety

 I'm feeling a little paranoid again about some personal stuff. Something pending that really should have been done a few days ago but I didn't push it because maybe I wanted more time to process or I dunno I was scared to know the results early on? But I really should have pushed on that day to get it over with it. I admit I was just scared to face an unfavorable outcome but what's the difference if the waiting game also made me anxious. Next time really I would face it head-on and just deal with the next steps right away.

Grapple

We are near the middle of December and I'm just not feeling it. I try my very best to not dive deep into what I'm feeling these days but there's always that reminder of how things are so different now. How lives have changed so much. I already had the trouble of not feeling the festive season the past few years so what more now in such a horrible year? Then the added sadness of losing a beloved loved one this year just makes it so much more painful really. I don't know what to say anymore. I still worry about a lot of things too. Recently, some of my pre-pandemic anxiety came back in a big way. I've forgotten about it because this year's unbelievable events distracted me from those lingering frustrations I've been having the past few years. Now it's back and coupled with this horrible situation we are in right now, it just makes things even harder to process. I'm just rambling here because hey I'm such a mess right now and I just needed to put to words what I feel and yet I can't find the right words. 

Ready

 My mother finally visited my departed uncle at the cemetery. She didn't go to the wake or the funeral because she said that she wanted to have her last memory of my uncle is when he is alive. I told my father to just let Nanay be and once she's ready, she'll be the one to ask to take her there and she did. Out of the blue she wanted to go to the cemetery to visit my uncle. Nanay is fond of Tito because when he first set foot in Manila, he lived with my parents and he was the one who assisted Nanay in taking care of my sibling who were young kids back then. They really had a close relationship. I remember when he first visited my uncle when he was bed ridden, she was really giving him words of encouragement but when we left the house Nanay said to me that Tito will not be able to survive it, I then said to her to don't lose hope. She said that it was painful to see Tito that powerless. A couple of weeks before he passed, Tito asked my cousin to tell Nanay to cook his favorite sinigang na isda and Nanay of course happily did so. Who knew it will be the last time he will be able to eat Nanay's dishes. Until the very last moment, I was still hoping for a miracle

I grew up with a strong image of Nanay, she's a tough one but the past few years I've been really seeing her vulnerable side. The way she handled her grief with Tito's death is a testament to that. I'm not used to it but I need to be the adult now and look after her more than ever. Same with Tatay too.

So please Dear Lord, always guide my parents to always stay healthy and strong. Please guide me too so I can be as strong as I can to help them. 

A Step

 

Historic day with the UK starting its mass vaccination program against COVID19! The first person to receive the vaccination is a 90-year old woman followed by a man named William Shakespeare hahaha!

I've also read that a year ago the first case of what be called COVID19  was reported in China. The timing of thinsg really! Anyway, this a hopeful sign that soon this will be over. 

Subconscious

 I had an unusual dream earlier this morning before I woke up. It felt like it was a manifestation of some current fears I have right now. I hope this isn't a sign or something. I hope that fear won't come to fruition. I should definitely just ignore but my nature is always to worry even in things like this that really is inconsequential. I easily dwell in negativity. Oh Dear Lord, please guide me.

Dated

 So I inherited my brother's old phone, it's an old model of android phone. It only has like 4 GB phone storage! How primitive! But it's just fine for me. The apps I need are just Spotify and YouTube really. I don't do social media apps, I'm still a desktop user for social media! Anyway, my former phone after 6 years is near dying already so I need to switch already and I'm not feeling to buy a new one really because you tight with money! I use two phones ever since, I need a backup because I'm a just in case person. Technology is moving so fast and I'm actually behind especially with phones! But I don't mind really, I'm more of a laptop person and I don't like having too many apps! I'm contemplating of buying a cheap basic phone really for a third backup phone that I can rely for battery longevity. We'll see if the budget is right!

40 Days

 Today is the 40th day of my uncle's passing. We had the traditional padasal at the cemetery earlier and a small salo-salo after to celebrate his life. It's been 40 days but the sadness is still here. From time to time I still question why he had to leave us soon. Why he had to suffer in such painful way before he passed away. He didn't deserve it. I've accepted that I will never find out the reason. Christmas is near and it will be weird not to see him drop by to greet us. It's still odd not to have him in our lives anymore. 

Changing Screens

So today Warner Bros announced that all their 2021 movies will be streaming on their streaming platform HBO Max the same day as the theatrical release. HBO Max basically just available in the US, so for international theaters, it will still be in theaters just like the upcoming release of Wonder Woman 1984. I have mixed feelings about this because well this is the future I guess but I'm afraid it could kill the cinema experience for good or make it too premium just like Vinyl records are these days. And of course piracy. A good HD quality will be out on torrent once their movies are out on HBO Max. 

Locally, Star Cinema is doing the same with the movie Four Sisters Before The Wedding where it will be available for video-on-demand online and cable/satellite TV but also will screen in cinemas that are open which are the areas under Modified GCQ. So no Metro Manila theaters where the lion's share of the box office comes from. But of course, I'm glad the provincial theaters have something major to play. The business struggled so much this year.

What a moment in entertainment right now we are seeing. The industry is changed forever. 

Admiration

 So there was a meeting at the office earlier and it was actually for just one department but since you know pandemic protocols that meeting had to be done in the open space in the office proper than in the meeting room so yeah even us not part of the department de-facto joined in especially when the company owner spoke which was not planned but he felt the urge to speak out and shared that while the company was affected, like nearly every company in the world, by the pandemic he never thought of giving up and not giving salaries to us. This is totally true and one of the reasons why I admired what the company did for us this year and motivated to do all means to get back to work at the office. Apparently, there are issues with employees (they were not named) that affected a certain project that led to this meeting. One of the managers got emotional when he spoke up and definitely shocked us because he is the silent type. I still have no clue what the problem was but I honestly don't want to because hey it is not my business but this meeting validated my feelings about staying here. I know it's not a high-paying job but I've been here for 11 years because I found a home here and the owner is the person I truly admire. When he said earlier that the company will only close down if he is poor already, I know he meant every word. He then announced that for us not to worry that we will have our 13th-month pay. I didn't worry because I know sir will not allow the possibility of not giving it to us and I was actually not surprised when it was revealed that our 13th month will not come from the company's funds but from his own pocket. He is that kind of man. 

So yeah it ain't easy but hey I will work hard to help the company even more. When he said he treated us as family, I believe it because I feel it. 

Wrapped

 Since subscribing to Spotify in 2015, the year end Wrapped is always something I look forward to. The presentation of my listening habits of the year is so well done and eye-catchy. And of course, as a chart geek I love the stats! I'm just annoyed this year, the Wrapped presentation is available only at the mobile app! I like seeing it on my laptop! Anyway, my my most played song is BLINDING LIGHTS. Released late last year, this song is still a bop, not tired of it yet! My #2 is the pandemic song Pag-ibig Ang Hihilom sa Daigdig from ABS-CBN. The rest of my top 5 are Taylor Swift's and Bon Iver's Exile, Lewis Capaldi's Before You Go and Ben & Ben's cover of Make It With You. My music preference is so adult contemporary now which is apt for my age. I will have my annual "Hot 100" blog post where I rank songs subjectively at the end of the year, will Blinding Lights still be on top? We shall see

On the podcast side, four out of five are local ones! The past 2 years were dominated by American podcasts! My top podcast is The Eve's Podcast hosted by former RX 93.1 jocks Delamar, Monica, Gelli and Jude Rocha followed by the radio drama Dear MOR and another radio-based one is at #5 which is The Morning Rush. Even if they are no longer together, still loyal to my radio idols Chico and Delamar! My only foreign podcast in the top 5 is The Hollywood Reporter's'TV's Top 5 at #3 while at #4 is the podcast from filmmakers Tonet Jadaone and Juan Miguel Severo called Walang Kwentang Podcast which is a funny conversational podcast that was just launched this year.

I love Spotify, it's my new radio really.

Light & Joy

There is a tinge of sadness with a hopeful end in this music video that resonated to me.

It's been a tough year and everything is far from ever but  we can hope that brighter days are ahead.