Friday, July 08, 2016


So yes I'm blogging again because I'm so frustrated with my life right now.  Still struggling with my finances. I tried to look for another job but to no avail. I wish my current company has better benefits and higher salary so I don't have thoughts of leaving  but what can I do. I do love the people here and respect the bosses, but I constantly worry about getting stuck on a dead end. My salary is just enough for helping out my family with out expenses, with a little extra to save up but it's not growing the way I hoped it would be.
I'm sad because none of my plans when I graduated 8 years ago happened. I felt so envious when I saw some college friends getting their masteral degree already. That was my plan and probably it's too late for it to happen anymore. I don't have the money to finance it and frankly probably I don't have the drive anymore. There are just so many things to think about first.
My parents are getting older and I don't want them to worry about me and my other siblings but I know they always worry about us. My two older siblings have volatile careers. My sister is once again about to go jobless again since our business folded up two years ago. I get so frustrated but what can I do. I always help her get a job by clicking on job listings online. Since the business ended, she had like 4 jobs, nothing that lasted a year. And she's nearing 40 years old, opportunities are getting slimmer as year goes by. I don't like the feeling but I can't help but feel resentment about that business, it was such a big blow, we haven't fully recovered until now. The failure still stings up until today. Our lives could have been so different if the business worked out the way we hoped it would be.
I hate checking Facebook these days seeing how my friends in school are doing well in their life now. Whether they have good careers or they have seemingly happy families of their own right now. I feel envious. Probably some of those are just facades but what  do I know? I know I have nothing to brag about my life right now. Because my life  is mediocre.Of course I know others have it worst but still, it's a struggle.God please guide me.