The Horror

 This time of the year is when horror/spooky stories are everywhere. But to tell you the truth, those stories don't scare me as much as they used to. It's not because I'm braver or anything close to that it's just the fast few years, heck even months, I've been living with fear from a lot of aspects of my life. Real life is just scarier these days. 

Eleven

 The majority of my working life has been devoted to overseeing this channel's operations practically doing everything from basic cut-to-cut editing of each episode, scheduling, and even customer service to viewers messaging us for signal concerns. I'm a TV guy so having a job related to it is a treat. It's never easy because we have limited resources but we managed to make it work. I'm deeply grateful to all the people I've worked with over the years. I'm very proud TeleNovela Channel Philippines is still on the air, 11 years in. You can see TeleNovela Channel on Sky Cable Ch. 81, Cignal Ch. 126, and various cable operators nationwide. We are also streaming 24/7 via Cignal Play Premium 200

Non-Stop

 Definitely the heaviest rainfall this year and I feel like we didn't see this coming. At least here in Mega Manila. Weeks earlier we are all properly warned of a potential super typhoon and it wasn't that strong (again in this area only because I know it had a bigger effect elsewhere) but now I feel like there was a gap in information. I have my theories but well it's something I don't want to dig deep into anymore as it frustrates me! Anyway, glad I was able to finish this script I wanted to finish today.  Another script to work on tomorrow with a target completion on Tuesday but hoping I can finish earlier on Monday! I hope I can do it!

Listing Down

 Long weekend ahead and my plans are of course to use this time to write dubbing scripts. I have 3 on que although none are immediately due I was hoping to finish one today but it was tougher than I expected as it had very difficult scenes of two characters having long screaming matches! I wanted to do some writing tonight but I got lazy! Maybe because it isn't due anytime so that's why I'm slacking! Anyway, the other project I have is an upcoming romcom movie, I'll just do the second half because the writer for this asked for my help because she couldn't finish and well I accepted because I would love to do a romcom dubbing script. My target time to finish this one is Tuesday, hope I can do it. Another one I'm set to do is the penultimate episode of a sitcom I do really watch even way before it became our project! This isn't immediately due as well but hoping to finish it next weekend. I have two other writing projects that will fill up my November!

Little

 So this bigger production studio had a press tour of their new office with a live dubbing demo of their Netflix project. I just saw the photo and their studio is HUGE. Like 4 of our small studios combined! The other production company doing the Netflix dubbing projects here is the local branch of a big company worldwide. We really are just a small company compared to them but still, I'm quite amazed we were able to pull it off given our limited resources! Frankly, I'm okay being the underdog here!

Please no

Maybe I'm just paranoid but I have a bad feeling about something that happened moments ago. This extra glee I'm witnessing is something I should be happy but I feel the opposite because I worry something not-so-good could happen next? Jeesh. Why do I think this way? I just don't want to feel complacent and then get caught off guard when something bad happens next. I'm so messed up. But please Lord let not my fears happen. 

Leeway

A rainy day and it was both relaxing and stressful at the same time. But for some reason, it did push to go all out with my productivity as I've already finished some work duties way ahead of my usual schedule! I still have things lined up for the next few days but those are more flexible ones as I'm already done with the more immediate concerns. I'm always like this when there's a major long weekend coming up. I do advanced work to cover up things I need to accomplish and glad I was able to do it again. Anyway, time to get some rest now!

Maximize

I just finished a take-home work which I wasn't able to finish at the office today. Truth be told, I could just do it tomorrow because there's still time but I wanted to finish it today so I can focus on other tasks as well. I'm in 100% work mode, especially with a 4-day holiday weekend coming that will affect my workflow! I just want to maximize this week to be more productive! Really good thing I genuinely enjoy what I do at work and doing it provides some personal entertainment too lately because my work involves TV shows! I mean yeah I know I could have been more ambitious in my career, strived to earn more but you see as I've grown older I just want to do something that's not as stressful that I could think that I don't want to go to work. I felt that during my second job so when I landed this job I just wanted to last at least a year but also be genuinely interested in it. This year has been really good at the office and I hope to have more fruitful years ahead hence why I look forward to potential new projects and I hope we do get it!

Ahead

 October is about to end and why is the weather so humid? It feels like summer these days. Also, I dread next weekend because of the extended weekend holiday is upon us. Traffic going home will be stressful and also not having office days on Oct. 31 and Nov. 1 will be challenging too for some of the tasks I need to finish at work. Well, honestly I can manage to do two non-working days because we're ahead of schedule but I dunno I don't want things to do piled up upon returning to work! But oh well this should not be an issue, I just stress myself unnecessarily yet again!  Anyway, hoping for some of the things I'm waiting for at work next week to happen. Mostly, new projects anticipating/hoping for the company to get soon!

Pru

Today was the day that I really made the step so something I wanted to do but didn't have the courage and yes the money to do it. It's a small step to me that hopefully will help me have a sense of security in the future. It's gonna take a lot of discipline for me to make this commitment but I am determined to do this. It's a little late to be honest but better late than never.

The Point

 Some people say outrageous things to get attention or worst, distract from more pressing issues. Sadly, most of the time they are successful because they know what buttons to push.  "Sa dami ng problema bakit yan ang pinagdidiskitahan?" That is the point, they want your reactions/takedowns to dominate social media and bury the more important issues. I hope more people realize and wag na kumagat pa. You are giving them what they want

Distance

Last night's incident is still bugging me today. I have complex feelings of despair, frustration, and shame. The last one is because I should be handling it better than what I'm currently doing of being so paranoid, stressed, and acting up a little. I'm not helping the situation because of how I am thinking right now. I'm tired but it's no excuse to give up and be mad for something no one really wants to feel. I understand everything but I just can't help but feel so scared shitless that I'm acting this way. Lord please help us find peace in this situation. Heal the wounded soul and hearts.

On Repeat

Here we go again and trying my best to be calm about it because there's nothing we can do at this point.  Also, trying my best not to panic as well. Maybe I just go back to my resigned self. I do hate a defeatist attitude. Hard to stay hopeful when nothing improves. I just easily give up so trying my best not to do it again. So I dunno how to process what I feel. The stress I'm dealing with. I don't do a good job controlling it. I tend to spiral out of control.  So what now. Just wait and see I guess. 

Strikethrough

 Just finished working on editing this dubbing script! I love this project so I really went all out! With that said because I focused on this, I left some other tasks that I need to finish tomorrow but it's gonna be fine, I'm gonna accomplish them all. I hope this project turns out well!

Random ADR Thoughts

I wrote dubbing scripts for an animated children's show, two episodes of around 10 minutes each. It is for English dubbing so my years of exposure watching  Disney Junior/Nickelodeon when my nephew was young paid off! I like cartoons for something light and easy like this.  I was really busy the past few days as I also worked on the English dubbing script of an Asian show with a  business politics-driven plot with a lot of math in the dialogue but I liked the setting really because it's world new to me. I also wrote the finale of a telenovela, I always love writing finales really! So far that's the last telenovela project currently. We are still waiting for which shows will be dubbed in English too. I'm hoping two telenovelas I'm interested in personally will be our next projects! Oh I also did a demo script for a potential client that will a European sitcom to English. I hope we get the project because well it's something new for us and yes I would love to write for it!  The two recent Netflix movies I translated for are currently both in the top 10! I feel proud in a way although not sure if a lot of viewers watched the Filipino-dubbed version and I hope those who did liked it! 

Relatively

 After yesterday's stressful day, today was okay, As good as one can hope at the moment. I hope for more days like this. Just calm. Some annoying stuff from time to time but manageable. But I know it won't be like this every day and maybe tomorrow or any moment now stress will make a comeback. But please not soon. However, I'll cherish the moment when there's calmness in my heart even if it is only for a short time before I go back to facing life's challenges again. 

Pagod

 I'm really just tired. But I have no choice but just deal with it. Endless stress. Dealing with problems that shouldn't be problems in the first place but keeps happening again over and over. Simple tired and exhausted. I know there is a much darker scenario that I just have to be grateful this isn't it. But I'm just simply tired. Of worrying. Of living in fear. Of being scared. Lagi na lang ganito. 

Luckiest Hollow!

 Two of the dubbing scripts I worked on are now streaming on Netflix! Last week it was Luckiest Girl Alive and today the Halloween family flick The Curse of Bridge Hollow! I've seen both multiple times in the course of working on the projects but I watched it again now that it's on Netflix! I feel proud! The past two weeks were once again hectic with me juggling writing dubbing scripts, doing QC, cable channel duties, and family needs but every time I finish things, I feel so accomplished. There are also new dubbing projects for a client abroad one is a business-driven drama that's quite interesting to do but there's a lot of MATH in the storyline haha and now we have this foreign animated show for pre-school kids. I haven't been watching other TV shows for leisure these days because my watching time nowadays are related to work but I enjoy it!

Half

 This may very well be something minor but I'm afraid of underestimating things because I'm just scared that something could surprise me so I guess I always try to prepare myself for the negative stuff. But you see I've done this several times and when my negative fears are confirmed, no amount of preparation can ever get me ready to deal with when it has become a reality.  This cycle is exhausting. I wish I can really stop but afraid this is something I might not be able to control anymore. 

Unremarkable

 Being unremarkable for something today made me really happy! Yes, it's the kind of unremarkable that I need to happen. My paranoid self was so worried about this routine thing that could catch me off guard. Good thing it wasn't the case. Thank you Lord. But I do hope my other worry, the neverending one, will end too or at least in a place where it won't be that scary anymore. 

Same Worries

 So it happened again last night while I was unaware because I was not there but I had a feeling something was going on. I hate it when my paranoia is confirmed. Now, I'm getting paranoid over another thing but I do really hope this one won't be confirmed. Please Lord, we- I -  can only handle so much, please let no my worries truly happen. So scared again. 

Focus

 I tried to do so many things recently that it's getting a little overwhelming now! But I wanted this so now I'm getting what I deserve but I do really need to slow down or at least control things that give me unnecessary hassles in life. That's what I'm good at in other things too so might well do the same here as well. 

Left and Right

 So my earphones broke! Well, the left ear has now lower volume! The other one still works but what an inconvenience, it just lasted a year and this was a more expensive brand but was just on sale at the time when I bought it so I guess this was to be expected?!! Oh well, I need to buy another one.  Another expense that I have to do.

Assist

So we had this urgent script that only had a short turnaround because of a client request that they need the dubbed version ASAP. So yeah, I bravely took on the project because well I do think I can do it because I'm familiar with this kind of project already and wrote dubbing scripts for a similar show in the past and they are relatively easier to do because of simple conversations and really good raw English translated script that I didn't need that much rewriting in context but just something to work around for synching.  And also ever since last year when the company helped financially when my mother was hospitalized and then allowed me to write dubbing scripts with TF, I did promise myself I will help the company in every way I can as gratitude and support as well. Through ups and downs, I've been here and you know even during the frustrating times and the times I tried to leave there's always something that made me stay. Always rooting for my second family here. 

Ideal

 So I accepted a task not to inconvenience others but also I do believe I'm the one capable to do it with less hassle than possible! It's gonna be a challenging one with the shorter time frame but determined to finish it. 

Voucher

 When I bought this laptop a few months ago it came with an Adidas voucher worth three thousand pesos. I had to submit some stuff first via e-mail before I could receive the voucher. It took a week before it got verified and after receiving the e-mail containing the voucher, it will be effective after 2 weeks too. So much waiting! But then after the date when I can use the voucher I was too busy to go to the designated mall to claim so it took nearly 2 months before I would be able to do so! I asked the Facebook page of the laptop brand I bought to ask if this voucher has an expiry and there was none so I think that was the factor why it took me a while because it had no deadline! Anyway, so glad I was able to use it! I found shoes that cost exactly 3,000! When I redeemed my voucher there were actually 2 customers before who did the same as well! There was a list apparently of the voucher recipients and I was part of Batch 10 when I signed I was the only one left from that page who haven't claimed it! Anyway, used the shoes today and I was so happy!  I've deprived myself of stuff like this because I can't afford it so glad I was able to get a good brand of shoes essentially free!

Recheck

 Two of the dubbing scripts I wrote had some not-so-good feedback that I found out back-to-back. First time to receive that kind of feedback since returning to writing dubbing scripts  this year. To be fair to me, the scripts had synching for one character each only so the problem was not the entire script at least. It had synching issues because my lines were too long and those particular scenes really had long lines so I wasn't able to estimate the words properly. Admittedly, I wrote these two scripts near each other so yeah I wasn't able to give each script the right amount needed to re-check for polishing it.  It's also a good reminder to me that I should slow it down sometimes and not take multiple projects at once so this won't happen again

Dark

 My brother is a regular listener to his program. I found his style too abrasive but he indeed voiced out some of our concerns that we can't or are afraid to speak out loud. I did think he was in danger because of the way he is outspokem. And it did happen.  Scary times.

Ashamed

 My meltdown yesterday was shameful. It was mostly internal but there were traces of it that got unleashed. Not too big to make total damage but enough to make me feel guilty about how horrible I was for thinking that, for giving up easily. I feel off. I'm going back and forth about if I should be hopeful or just be accepting of the inevitable. There's so much chaos happening in my mind and heart right now. Lord please guide me

Can't

Over and over again. I'm so tired but I feel so guilty to feel this tired. This has been my cycle. Trying my best to be supportive and strong but the fact that it seems to never end is eating me alive. I feel so miserable because I shouldn't feel this tired but I can't help but feel this way, I keep reminding myself over and over again that things could be much worse so I have to be grateful that it isn't the case. But I'm exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally and I dunno maybe even spiritually? The other day I was wishing for a stress-free last stretch of 2022 but nope the last quarter of the year already brought me so much pain and agony. I want to give up but I know won't ever do that and I acknowledge the fact that giving up will just give me more misery. I can't escape this but I just have to deal with each day it threatens whatever stability I have 

Guns and Girls

 So last night I finished writing the dubbing script of a show that has a war setting. It was a little complicated to do even if there was less dialogue due to a lot of the scenes being in action mode. I guess I had difficulty choosing the right word to use especially military terms? I hope it did well on this and there won't be a problem during dubbing.  Today, I'm midway done with this half-hour teen comedy dubbing script. This one is tough to translate because of the snappy dialogue and some of the jokes are heavy on pop-culture references that are not easy to localize but it's so fun doing it! Normally, I would like to try to finish it today but I decided to take a break since I'm halfway done already and my brain needs to recharge so I can finish it tomorrow with creativity in full capacity!