Monday, April 28, 2008

Facing the Tooth Fairy

I will have some of my teeth extracted in May. I promised to myself that I will take care of my teeth already and get over my fear of having my teeth extracted by a dentist. All of my life, I have been in the dentist's office just TWICE not counting the dental check up I had when I applied for college. And I never had a proper tooth extraction before. I just wait for it "fall off naturally".
But I'm not a kid anymore. I know for a fact that I have two "dying" teeth and I should let it go already, the proper and medical way.
It sucks that only now that I have decided to face this fear. Stupid fear now that I realize it.
Since Wednesday, I have not gone out of the house. Got sick and rested. I'm such a bum and I both love it and hate it. Yeah, it's fun doing nothing but just surf the net away but I'm afraid that I may get used to it so much. But I feel restless also. And believe it or not, stressed.
It has been a week since the HF Yearend Workshop. It has been a month since I graduated.
I am at this point of my life that I do not exactly know what I want to do.
A phase? Maybe. Hope to get over this soon.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


It has been said that when God closes a door he opens a window. Or vice versa. Basta, something similar to that haha.
I feel that one aspect in my life have fallen apart. I thought it was meant for me. Then that happened. And I realize I could not fit in there. Maybe I was never suppose to be there in the first place.
But I guess it was all in God's plan for me to experience that. He helped me re evaluate my life.
Now, I'm putting that on hold. I'm not putting a period just a comma.
I will jump to something I do not know if I will succeed. But I will try.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thesis Epilogue

Today, finally, napa bookbind na namin ang thesis! It took awhile since me and Jas enjoyed the vacation too much ha!ha!. We already submitted it to our department but our adviser is not there and she will be back on Friday pa. We need her signature for the certification and approval sheet. We printed four copies, one each for me, Jas, our department, and adviser. For the library, what they need is the soft copy in CD form. The printing took awhile since printing in the DLSU-D thesis paper is a bit tricky haha plus our thesis have about 140 pages and multiply by four and you get the idea. When we held our the final copy of our thesis it was a great feeling. We felt a sense of accomplishment. All the hard`work paid off.
I do hope that someday some students could find our study useful and use it as RRL.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


I was about to go to school today but my mother requested not to for some reason. I give in. Thanks to the Internet I was still able to do some work for HF. And well I'm excited for our literary folio, Palad, I love the lay out! And we have this cutting edge concept. I hope we win in the CEGP. *crosses fingers*
I read the latest issue of Newsbreak magazine which I bought a week ago but only read now. Ate Purple, a Broadcast Journalism alumnus (one year ahead of me) and former editor of HF, is a researcher/writer for this publication. I am so proud of her, I read all her articles and well this is really what Ate Purple wants in her life. This is so her, an investigative journalist.
I remember the times where we talked inside the HF office, she is really an insightful person. And she is not really stiff, she is so "kalog". I admit I don't usually get almost all her HF columns back in the day and I sometimes ask her what the point of her column is and she will enthusiastically explain it to me. I admire her courage and the way she thinks. I know she will be a great journalist in the years to come and I'm so excited for her.
Here are some of the articles Purple Romero wrote for Newsbreak:

Sunday, April 13, 2008


I feel so useless. I feel so lazy. All I do is watch TV or surf the net. And eating of course. And I'm getting fatter each day. I need to get my old groove back. I admit, I enjoy my bumming around time but I need to control this, I don't want to get used to this.
I hate to admit this but I feel trapped. I want to move on. But I know I could not. I hate to feel this way. I'm just tired I guess. Drained. Lost the spirit. Burned out. I should not feel this but I can't control myself to not feel this way. But I will not escape. I'll fight even though I feel like a loser already.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Grammar Check

Yesterday I was checking the proofs for LS Special magazine which were edited by the technical consultant and I discovered something embarrassing. My column for the magazine was heavy with corrections. It just shows that among the editors , I am probably the weakest writer. Heck, a lot of my staff are better writers than me perhaps. It is a shame considering that I am the Editor-in-Chief. This year, I did not grow as a writer because I focused more on the management aspect of the job. Or maybe I just don't have it. This makes me feel scared, if I apply for a job and upon knowing that I was an EIC of the student publication, the employer will expect a lot from me: polished grammar, solid writing style and coherent sentence constructions. And I'm not confident that I could meet the expectations.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


That's what I said when I found out that the Philippines will have its own version of the reality series [and one of my all time faves] SURVIVOR. Not a copy cat/rip off but a franchise! GMA 7 bought the rights and plugs are now being played on channel 7. I'm so excited! I don't know how will the Filipino audience respond to this kind of show where backstabbing and manipulation are rampant. I have high hopes for this show since GMA 7's foray to reality TV through EXTRA CHALLENGE was quite good [quite because there were off episodes/weeks]. Reportedly, the current affairs team of GMA will produce the show, so a plus point for me!
And well since we know how the two stations compete, I wonder how will ABS CBN respond to this? Amazing Race Philippines perhaps? Exciting!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Normal Day?

I guess so.

I tried.

Did well I guess.

I did have my anxiety attack every now and then. But I managed to have a "normal" day today.
Hope it continues.

I was busy today doing HF work. I have lots of backlogs due to my absence last week because I got sick. I'm quite happy since Just Play is now on the proofreading stage, LS special is almost finish so as Palad. Alipato is 40% done. The problem na lang is the special issue of HF broadsheet. Long way to go pa. I am aiming for all jobs done by this month so I could leave HF already hahaha. Kidding, I mean I want those burdens off my chest for me to enjoy my final moments in DLSU-D.
By the way, today is the start of the summer term. I miss summer classes. For three years I had summer classes because my course's curriculum really has the summer term. I did not complain though since I love summer classes, it is fast faced actually and I was not bored.
Also, there was a shooting in school today, ABS CBN as always. I saw Maja Salvador and Jon of PBB. DLSU-D is a favorite location of ABS CBN shows. Over the years I saw Bea Alonzo, John Lloyd Cruz, Zanjoe Marudo, Jason of PBB, Iya Villania, Kim Chui, Gerald Anderson among others. And of course when I was a freshman, Marian "Marimar" Rivera was a Psychology senior and she was sort of famous na rin back then since she starred in the Skin White commercial during that time. Who have thought a few afters she will be a star. I remember seeing her in the JFH hallway and she is really beautiful but she really have a "manly" voice hehe.
I saw some friends who claimed their diploma [the real one since the one given to us in the graduation rites was fake haha]. I kinda felt envious. A clearance is needed to claim the diploma . Well, I haven't started my clearance yet since I will still be in school pa naman until May. Plus, we haven't passed the thesis yet hahahaha. Procrastinating until the end haha. But me and Jas will work on it this week. The past weeks we decided to lie low . Not just us but the whole JOU41 block haha. I guess we were delaying it so we could have a reason to go back to school. Awwww *senti mode on*
Guilty pleasure: PBB Teen Edition Plus! Aliw! So far the show is entertaining but knowing PBB it will have its draggy moments like contrived twists and lousy tasks. But for now I'm enjoying the show.
Also because of waiting for PBB to start I sort of got hooked with Lobo as well. The show is not the typical Pinoy fantaserye, the story has depth and I must say Angel Locsin improved on the acting department, she is not a ham actress anymore.
And before you label me as "kapamilya", I will tell you I'm not. I'm not a "kapuso" either. I am "kabarkada" haha just jokin. Seriously, I actually hate the network war since because their competition is not healthy. Long time ago I posted a blog entry about that titled Boobtube Battle Boo Boos.
I'm excited to find work. Although I'm expecting it will be hard. But hey I'm ready.

Sunday, April 06, 2008


It has been almost a week since I became "like this". I decided that I could not sulk and whine all day. I'm not saying I'll fight this because I can't, I already tried and I'm tired. I will just face reality. Be as brave as I could. I could not let my life to be on hold because of this. I'll just hope and pray that in the end things will turn out fine.
But I have to stop acting like this. My whining will not help me at all. I have to be strong.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Let the song speak for me

These Hard Times-Matchbox Twenty

Morning falls like rain into the city life
There goes another night
Losing my breath in waves
Knowing that ever crash is bleading the hourglass
And taking the strife from all our lives

Everyone keeps talking
They promise you everything
But they don't mean anything

We may loose our focus
There's just too many words
We're never meant to learn
And we don't feel so alive

So goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
Through these hard times

Move your hands in circles
Keeping me hypnotized
The power behind your eyes
Move around your bedroom cursing the naked sky
You should be here tonight
But you stay alone and cry

Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(whoa) There's something missing
(Oh whoa) You'll never feel it but you
(Oh whoa) You're gonna feel it when it's gone
When it's gone

Say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times
(hey) these Hard times
(oh no now) Hard times
Hard times

Say goodbye, these days are gone
Say goodbye, these days are gone
These days are gone

Friday, April 04, 2008

Twenty Tunes 4


1. These Hard Times-Matchbox Twenty

2. Beat It-Fallout Boy feat John Mayer
3. Whatever It Takes-Lifehouse
4. Evidence-Urbandub
5. Akala mo lang-Zelle
6. Under Repair-Imago
7. Monobloc-Pupil
8. Bleeding Love-Leona Lewis
9. Procrastinator-Sandwich
10. Uh Oh-Taken by Cars
11. 4 minutes-Madonna feat Justin Timberlake and Timbaland
12. With You-Chris Brown
13. Touch My Body-Mariah Carey
14. Nine in the Afternoon-Panic at the Disco
15. Aaminin-Six Cycle Mind
16. No Air-Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown
17. Low-Flo Rida feat T-pain
18. Susundan-Callalily
19. Empty-The Click Five
20. Something Right-Westlife

Twenty Tunes 3
Twenty Tunes 2
Twenty Tunes 1

I want to feel normal again

This is the third day that I am feeling this way. I feel so sick. Not just medically speaking. But sick, emotionally sick. Here I am again , going to this very disturbing phase. I feel like my life is put on hold. I could not tell to anyone exactly what I feel. I am a shock absorber from my family to my friends. But what about me? This blog is my shock absorber.
There are stuffs that helped me divert my attention for a while: TV, radio, Internet. But the effect will only last for a short while then I will go back to whining, being paranoid and crying.
I'm a great pretender. No one knows exactly what I am going through. I don't like sharing it that much. I would like them to see me as "business as usual" but I'm hurting inside. Sometimes I would like to blame people why I feel this way but later on I would take it back. I just like to blame people coz I want to feel better but I did not feel any better at all.
The thing I am struggling right now is my fault. I want to redeem myself but it's too late or I'm too scared to take the risk again. I'm a coward.
God help me survive this ordeal.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

This is the day

that I want to forget.


Yesterday I was so happy, I had a getaway with my classmates at Batangas sort of graduation send off but sadly only 13 came nevertheless I enjoyed the day so much that I don't want it to end.

But it has to. Nothing last forever.


And now I'm sad again. I hate this feeling.


Last week, I was happy because I graduated. One week after, for a few hours all my happy thoughts were erased. Damn, I hate this day.