My weekend of worry begins. Trying my best to relax although I feel like I'm seeing signs that it will lead to what I fear most. Or maybe I'm just overthinking it. Seeing something when there is none. I'm just terribly afraid that when I had moments of happiness earlier I reminded myself quickly that I couldn't do it yet. There's still something pending freaking me out inside. Oh Dear Lord please hear my prayer
Thursday, June 30, 2022
Tomorrow will be my 13th year with the company! This has been the busiest 6 months at work in such a long time. It's a good thing and I hope the blessings continue. Last year was shaky so I'm glad things are turning around! I had so many ups and down here but I survived. I found a home here to be honest and that's why I'm still here
Wednesday, June 29, 2022
So earlier in the jeep, I saw someone who was placing his phone directly to his ear so he can hear a video he is watching! All he needed was earphones or at the least wait until he is in the office or somewhere, I dunno, private and watch the video which I don't think it's really urgent because what we all heard in the jeep are some dance tunes! Is it really that urgent? Also at the elevator, I was with someone watching a vlog, with no earphones of course, and what he was watching was full of profanity! Yeah, inside an elevator a person watching cursed-laden vlog without care to other people!
Tuesday, June 28, 2022
So about to finish work now! I didn't have to work this long but I want to. It's making me forget this dread I'm feeling although not totally because it still sneaks in from time to time. I've been expecting it to feel this way but nevertheless, it just feels so tiring but what can I do, it is what it is. Staying hopeful while fearing the worst is so conflicting that I don't know if I'm handling this the best that I could. I really hope so. Oh God, please I won't stop praying that this fear I have is not gonna happen. Please...
Monday, June 27, 2022
My pet peeve these days while commuting is people not using earphones when they watch something on their phone or even when they talk to other people via video chat! Is this an effect of the pandemic, people are just used to ii because they do it at home all the time? It annoys me really, I don't want to hear what you are watching! Especially if what they are watching is questionable nature! That's why I really need to have earphone these days so I can block all these unnecessary noises!
Sunday, June 26, 2022
It's gonna be a torturous week as I will be haunted by fear of what could happen. It will be taking turns of staying hopeful and dreading a bad result. I don't want to be complacent but I don't want to be this anxious as well. Oh Dear Lord, please let my fears not happen.
Saturday, June 25, 2022
Anxiety rising yet again. On top of the lingering personal problem I made the mistake of checking out what's going on in the world. Yeah, it just made me even feel worried and scared than usual. My sense of curiosity has led me to do this. I did dream of becoming a journalist but yeah I wasn't build to do it. Not brave enough.
Friday, June 24, 2022
I have packed lunch so I rarely go out of the office especially in this new one where we are at the 20th floor. I had to buy something earlier at Mercury Drug and there I finally saw the viral effect on the nearby Tropical Hut, it was jampacked! During the mornings and afternoon when I pass by it, there are not many people so I was wondering when their "it" status online gonna reflect in the branch here. It turns out pag lunch pala!Unlike other people, I prefer that they don't renovate! As long as it's clean (and it is!), it's fine by me. I like seeing something that looks and feels classic!
Thursday, June 23, 2022
Here I go again, going so paranoid again. One moment things will be fine then another moment anxiety attacks that prevent me from being complacent. Thinking of worst-case scenarios and how I can handle it, hopefully, as calmly as possible. If it only involves me, I can deal it on my own but other people will be affected. Lord, please hear my prayer.
Wednesday, June 22, 2022
I had a pants emergency today hahaha! It has given up on me although good thing I have a needle and thread pack I bought on 7-11 so I had a temporary fix. But I do need to buy new pants. I haven't bought in a while. It's a little difficult to find something when you are fat like me! But anyway, I was still able to manage!