Tuesday, December 06, 2022

Face

 I'm scared that today my fears will be confirmed. There's already pre-worrying happening from the armchair analysis. This is really making me go insane. I can't rest easy and the added fear surrounding me, makes things even more difficult to handle. That's why I keep myself from being happy because I know it won't last and that something will happen to spoil it. Better be miserable already so I don't lead myself to false hopes. NO. It's not the right way of thinking but I'm already so miserable and it's really just hard to fight back. 

Monday, December 05, 2022

As usual

Afraid and paranoid yet again as the day looms. I'm feeling things are turning bad again. Or I was just overthinking it. It's so repetitive but I can't break the cycle. All I can do is to distract myself from thinking about it way too much. Dear Lord, please no. Don't let my bad thoughts manifest.

Sunday, December 04, 2022

Type

 I was reading an article on how kids/teens today are not good at typing but have a great command of touchscreen gadgets. Very true. During online school, my nephew could write an essay with just the Word app on his phone. I could NEVER do that. He first had his desktop computer in 2020 due to online school and he was a slow typer at first but he is now a fast typer mostly thanks to Roblox, Discord, and a typing test online that he got obsessed with for a time.

Saturday, December 03, 2022

Nap

 I had a good nap and I needed it so much. I worked extra hard this week so my weekend won't be as tight and there could be space for me to do nothing! I know I needed a day like this from time to time. So I can recharge as next week will be another challenging one. I hope and pray, things will turn out fine although I'm always in fear no matter what but gotta live on the best way I can.

Friday, December 02, 2022

Bad feeling

Once again whenever this thing is near I'm overwhelmed with worries. Every single thing that could be just normal I find another meaning. Hopefully, I'm wrong and this isn't what I am thinking right now. I'm afraid to be happy because there might be something that's gonna happen that will be the opposite. I wish I didn't think this way but struggling not to do so. 

Thursday, December 01, 2022

Wrapped!

So it's Spotify Wrapped day today and of course, as a chart geek, I love a personalized customized chart! Anyway, let me share my top 5 songs and podcasts!

My top 5 songs:

1. As It Was - Harry Styles

2. Pano - Zach Tabudio

3. I Ain't Worried - One Republic

4. Titi Me Pregunto - Bad Bunny

5. Rosas (Extended Version) - Nica Del Rosario and Gab Pangilinan

My top 5 podcasts:

1. Dear MOR 

2. TV's Top 5

3. Ang Walang Kwentang Podcast 

4. Abroad In Japan

5. This American Life


Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Explore

 Today is a holiday but I'm in the office by choice because I do like working in the office with the aircon and all! And I like the commute as well because are fewer people around. In a way it relaxes me and soothes my anxiety and dare I say, I'm more productive as well? Anyway, this dubbing script I'm working is really quite a good show, a business drama that could easily bore me but it didn't and made me learn about the culture of the country where the show is set. That's what I like about what I do, I get to watch TV/movies while earning money! It's not a career that would make me rich but I'm at this point of my life where I'm not that ambitious as long as I have decent stability wit less stress possible. Definitely not something that would take me to greater heights but I'm totally okay with it, 

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

A Visit

 There were some foreigner clients who visited the office and I found they were from the demo project I wrote the dubbing script for over a month ago. I really liked that demo project and crossing my fingers we would get this project! It's nearing December and glad we already secured some projects already ahead of the new year. I'm still hoping we would get another new project soon from this other client I really like. We started 2022 jampacked with projects with limited personnel but somehow we managed to pull it off so I'm really we can secure more projects now too as we welcome the new year! I really hope that visit will actually pave the way to scoring that project!

Monday, November 28, 2022

Repeat

 I just wish for a life of fewer complications but I know I will never get it. I'm so befuddled about how something that can be ignored can create a bigger mess. Isn't life hard enough as it is? Why do we feel compelled to add more to the stress and anxiety we are feeling? While I still go on and still make things work internally I'm just giving up. This exhausting feeling I've manifested in other facets of my life. There are just things that will not happen to me no matter what and now I admit it because of personal choice. While other elements are a factor but ultimately it is my choice to devote my life to this kind of living. I really just want to sit in the corner and mind my business but I know it's not in my nature, I always do something to make things OK for them and me in a way as well. But honestly just freaking tired that it keeps on happening and utterly hopeless. 

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Cycle

Once again I just feel tired. Once again I hate feeling this way. Once again I hate that this is how I react whenever this happens. Once again I feel so helpless. Once again I'm skeptical why this just keeps happening. Once again I want to be in denial. Once again I'm hopeless.