Saturday, November 27, 2021

Omicron

 So this new COVID19 has an official name OMICRON. I hope you won't be a household name like DELTA. I really hope the current vaccines will keep it at bay. I've accepted that this virus won't really go away but vaccines will keep it from being fatal thus less hospitalizations. Almost 2 years of this lifechanging event and just when you think it's finally coming to an end then boom another plot twist. But I hope it just us being so paranoid but in the end it won't really be the start of another nightmare. 

Friday, November 26, 2021

But...

So COVID19 cases reported today is just over 800 which is the lowest in a long time. The daily cases trend has been so good and I was really beginning to hope for a better 2022 but now the news of a new potentially deadly variant found in South Africa is dampening my mood. Hopefully, this won't be another cause of problem again. It's so tiring

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Need to Feel

Christmas season is upon us! There will be caroling this year as allowed by the powers that be! I haven't been inside a mall lately but the decorations are all over from what I see outside. I sincerely hope I can feel more of the jolly holiday spirit and I get out of this sullen mode I've been lately. I'll try to get in the mood, maybe watch Christmas movies? I don't know. I really hope and pray the last month of 2021 will be saved from any worrying situation that will give me so much anxieties. Please Lord give this to me.

Wednesday, November 24, 2021

Tricky

 I'm in such a weird spot lately. I just feel so confused and messed up. There are so many things bugging my mind that I don't know what to do really. But I carry on each day facing life's uncertainties the best way I can. December is next week. It used to be my favorite month but I now feel so much dread. I'm scared of so many things that I can't enjoy life as it is. I always keep in mind things could be worst and yet I can't stop thinking what awaits could be terrible too. Oh Dear Lord please help find hope and peace.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

No Way

  I think ahead and all I see is grim. How do you try not to think of darkness when it is seeping little by little overwhelming your senses. You know a moment of peace won't last, there's always something that's gonna ruin it eventually. You can't fully experience because there's always  a price for it. You want to be mad but you can't feel ungrateful that the worst has not happened yet. You always have to be the bigger person and handle everything as calmly as possible. But you are not made of stone despite trying to be that kind of person. You can't escape because even if you do there's no way you won't feel guilty so what's the point? Just endure as long as you can. Suck every single piece of frustration you have until you feel numb. There's just simply something you can't do. 

Monday, November 22, 2021

Not Happening

 I've been seeing this tweet going around about a breadwinner already traumatized to start a family of his own. I'm no breadwinner but currently carrying a big responsibility to my family that starting my own one is just nowhere near my future. And to be honest, I don't want to. I love the idea of having one though. I dreamed of it. It's just not something possible with my current situation and responsibilities. It does make me sad sometimes that I can't make my own path. 

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Around

 I spent a good part of the afternoon watching documentaries on YouTube specifically human interest stories specific to a country. From the so-called leftover women in China, how dating works in modern Iran, water supply struggles in Pakistan, feminist movement and abuse of mentally disabled people in South Korea, rediscovering rural living in Japan, bleaching issues in South Africa to the pest struggles in the farms of Kenya! There's a lot of great professionally done narrative journalism you can find on YouTube these days and my mind is satisfied. 

Saturday, November 20, 2021

Step Inside

 So I attended a meeting at my nephew's school and they encouraged for the students to go there too under safety measures of course. While my nephew was too lazy to come first, we convinced him to come because it will be the first time he will see his school since enrolling for his high school phase last year. Since he spent his pre-school and elementary years in a small school here in our subdivision, he was so amazed to be in a bigger school. I saw the excitement in his eyes! While they won't be coming back to face to face classes anytime soon as the principal announced earlier, they encouraged the parents to get the kids vaccinated as soon as possible to make this a reality. I really hope my nephew will have his real school experience next year at the very least!

Friday, November 19, 2021

Crack

 Something happened today which I'm not gonna lie is something I was hoping would happen just to shake those who refuses to see what's totally wrong. But I'm not trying to be hopeful that this could lead to a more meaningful mindset from the general public. I've been burned too many times but maybe this could be a game changer? I hope so. We desperately need  to get out of this darkness.

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Defeatist

Negative thoughts are drowning me lately that a way for me to fight them off is to keep myself and preoccupied most of the time. It's really quite unhealthy that I always think of failing, of losing hope and letting the worst-case scenario grapple me. I'm just scared to think positive then ultimately end up losing. I'm so nervous about where everything is going. I need to stop accepting things if I can do something about it to change the fate. Oh God please guide me.