Ironic, isn't it?

1. When you are in a hurry, there will be a lot of things/occurences that will delay you. But if you have lots of time and even if you still intentionally want to be late you will still arrive on time.

2. When you are looking for something you could not find it but when you dont need it anymore thus you stop hunting for it out of the blue that thing will pop up to you

3. You bring an umbrella everyday but it does not rain but the one time you will forget it, it will rain.

Where are they going?

A new school year is nearing; by this time several high school graduates had already made their choice of what course to take and what school to attend. And recently, the most popular course is Nursing.

Slots for the said course in some schools have been close as early as March due to an overwhelming number of applicants. Since there is a large demand, schools offering Nursing sprouted like mushrooms in the metropolis.

If you would ask those students why they have chosen to be a future nurse, the answers may vary but it is not surprising if they believe that nursing is the channel for them to land a good-paying job abroad.

The sudden influx of job opportunities abroad for nurses has resulted for more students to aspire to work abroad. According to an article published at Manila Standard Today the United States alone needs one million nurses by 2010, while in Europe, about 20,000 nursing slots are available.

The nursing phenomenon does not limit to undergraduate students but college graduates as well. News of doctors and other professionals studying nursing is not new anymore. From 2000-2004 around 6,000 Filipino doctors were reported to be taking up Nursing.

Statistics from Philippine Overseas Employment Administration stated that from 1996 to 2002, 16, 124 nurses were deployed abroad. But other countries’ gain is our country’s big loss. The exodus of nurses and doctors resulted to the shortage of nurses and doctors especially in the rural areas. An alarming statistical figure stated that there is only one government nurse per nine barangays and ,worse, one nurse per 16, 723 Filipinos

How could we expect for this country to be “cured” from its “illness” if the people will leave it unaided? Who will take care of the Filipinos if almost all capable health workers have flown out to somewhere but here?

But can we really blame them if they seek greener pastures? What they earn abroad pales in comparison to what they receive here in the country. These people also have their own families to support and, unfortunately, the prospect of having a stable life in the Philippines is bleak. To be idealistic in this country is one tough road to take. Sad but true.

Message Sent

Ten years ago the cell phone was something for the rich and well off only. Back then beepers were the “in” thing, along with tamagotchis. Mobile phones were so large that its only difference with a landline phone is that a cell phone is handy but still bulky (it’s like bringing a landline with you). And as far as I remember, cell phones back then were all on post-paid basis so owners expect bills as expensive as their electric bills arriving in their doorstep every month.
Five years ago, the cell phone phenomenon started to take over the country. I remember during my early days in high school when a classmate showed his cell phone. (I can’t remember exactly whether it was Nokia 5110 or 3310 but what I’m sure is that it was the model that was then considered “sosyal.”) We were quite amazed, and soon enough some classmates jumped the bandwagon and started buying their own cell phones. There were “competitions” as to who will get the higher score in Snake and debates on how the game Logic is played (up to now I still don’t know how to play that game). I did not have a cell phone until I entered college but I was not out of the loop back then since I always borrowed the “family cell phone”, which I just use at home. Forwarding jokes and quotations was very predominant and of course I had my share of “text mates” (which today I think is just a waste of load).

Almost every one now owns a cell phone. Every week, a new model is released making your cell phone look so obsolete. Now, a cell phone is not just for calls and text messages but you can now use it to take pictures, listen to music, record voice or video clips, and many more. The ring tones were upgraded from monotones to polytones and now real music. Ring tones are not limited to music only, since I’ve also heard a Mike Enriquez and an “I see dead people” ring tone. Cell phone crimes have climbed the ladder too. Theft cases have risen from snatchings to hold ups. There was even a report that a student was killed because he refused to give his cell phone to a robber. There is also what you call “text scams” where someone will text you saying that you have won a huge amount of money, the catch being, you have to pay first before you receive and a lot of people have fallen to that ploy. And of course, there are the “sex scandals” being passed from phone to phone. From college students to celebrities the choices are endless. No wonder the bold film industry is already dead here because why pay if you could have your pornography right in your hands?

There are about 30 million phone users in the Philippines, and they send an average of 400 million text messages a day (and that figure was before the “unlimited texting”). Well, China sends more text messages than us, but you have to consider their population. No wonder the telecom companies are one of the richest corporations in the country. I’ve read in Philippine Daily Inquirer that Smart has 20.8 million subscribers, Globe has 13.62 subscribers and the newbie Sun has about 2 million. The total is 36.42 million subscribers or 42.8 percent of the country’s 85 million population. According also to a Philippine Daily Inquirer article, in the first half of 2005 Filipinos spent 165.8 billion pesos for telecommunication services. Ironically, we are a country that is having an economic crisis.

Many explanations were made why we Filipinos are cell phone-crazy people but it all boils down to the fact that we love staying connected in an instant. If you’re alone and bored, just text someone and you will not feel alone anymore. Text messages became so popular because most of us are shy and is have troubles expressing ourselves. With text messaging, we are more comfortable speaking out what’s on our mind.

The mobile phone business is still not showing signs of waning. The cell phone is now a part of our lives. The competition between the telecom companies is stiffer than ever. Mobile phone services has became more affordable especially with the introduction of “loads in sachet”, that is electronic loading which has became a common fixture in sari-sari stores, canteens and even the sidewalks. While almost everything has become more expensive, the prices of telecom services have been dropping. In these trying times where the country is in an economic turmoil, an affordable way of getting connected is what we need since a cell phone is no longer considered a luxury but a necessity.

How I spent the Holy Week Break

Excuse the lack of creativity of my title, just could not think of a "catchy" one.It actually reminds me of my elementary days where the first activity every first day of class (and after the Christmas break too) is "My Summer (Christmas) Vacation". Actually this is the first time I had a class after the lenten season (my first summer class was after the lenten season) so this is something new to me, but I'm not complaining, because I love being at school this summer than bore myself at home. Basically,I spent more time on tv even if there is no regular programming because well I had a great time following the marathon of Gilmore Girls and 7th heaven.Yup.I stay tuned from start to finish (on thursday 9 ep marathon of gilmore girls then 6 ep and 12 ep marathon for 7th heaven). Even though, I've already seen the episodes shown I still watched because well its FUN to relieve those episodes.I also watched Maalala Mo Kaya on ABS CBN,I love the story of the girl (fatima) who is sick yet her faith unwaivered and the young actress who played Fatima was excellent.I also watched the "tagalized" tv special on St. Rita, I thought I will get bored watching it but I was wrong,the show was engaging. My parents also listened to Radio Veritas, a Catholic radio station, it the programs were very sacred then I heard MIKE ENRIQUEZ! I dont really like Mike and was annoyed with what he is saying because he was too preachy (plus keeps saying kapuso every start of a sentence which was really annoying and my brother even commented "paano na yung mga kapamilya, hindi na niya pagdadasal" wow,network war on holy week). I attended one mass only and had a first rosary with all 6 of us present. I also ate a lot but there were no meat although I did have lots of chichirias. To sum it up, it was uneventful break but definitely not boring.

Short term memory

I was appaled in one of last night's news. IBON foundation conducted a survey about who they want to be the next president if ever Gloria is ousted and guess who came on top? ERAP!!! what are they THINKIN? have they forgotten what he have done? I dont like Gloria too but that does not mean that ERAP is already redeemed. I'm so disgusted how some of the Filipino people are suffering from "amnesia", how could they easily forget that only a few years ago we ousted this president because of all the anomalies and other negative stuff he have done? They want to oust gloria but want erap back? the future is doomed!!!!

Miss and Hit

The new Heraldo Filipino Editorial Board was released last Monday (april 4) and sadly I did not make it. I was really disappointed since I really wanted to be an editor. I blew it. I knew I did mediocre on the EB exams and messed up the panel interview so I somehow sensed that I may not make it, still I crossed my fingers that maybe I could still pass. But my hunch was right,unfortunately. Life goes on and I fully support the new EB, I could still try next year anyway.

On the other side, I was chosen as the Editor in Chief for our class' laboratory paper El Caviteño (our summer subjects is all about News Writing and Newspaper Management). It will be one big challenge for me. We only have less than 6 weeks to produce that paper. I hope I could manage our paper well. This is the first time I will lead such big task. I will really work hard for this. I want our paper to be a success. Wish me luck!

Mathematically Challenged

I received my grades last week and in general my grades were good except for one. The highest grade in DLSU-D is 4.00 then 3.75,3.50, 3.25 and so on and we are under Absolute Grading system which is hard but challenging. As much as possible I dont want to get a grade of 1.75 down to 1.00 (and of course 0.00 but thats already given) unfortunatley I had another 1.75 for Elementary Statistics. "Another" because it's the second time I received a 1.75 first was on the second semester of my freshman on the subject......you guess it right..... College Algebra! I don't hate Math I just hate not being good at it! Math could have been an easy subject for me coz it does not involves complex terms, if you know how to solve a problem and knows the correct process you are surely to have great grades! I really envy people who are good with Math. But I am not really dumb at Math since I was able to maintain being a consistent honor student in high school despite difficulty with Math.(But during my 2nd year in highschool I was almost disqualified at the honors' list since I almost did not make the grade cut off for Math which is 85, I got 84.7, thank God it was rounded off.). My problem is that I had poor retention in Math and I do not review my notes that much except when there is exams already.I admit it's my fault why I'm mediocre at Math. However I'm still good at some aspects of math like probability,permutation among others , its too bad that for the other aspects of Statistics I was awful. I'm also good with Math that involves money hehehe. Oh well, good Elem Stat is my last Math subject! Ironically, I was awarded Best in math during my highschool graduation, what a joke! I was awarded with that award because of the following reasons:

1. My school gave two awards for each category one for each section and almost all of the people who were good at Math were in the other section (we have no honor section, we are mixed up) thus the other section faced stiffer competition while my section not that much.
2. My math teacher during my final year taught us the same topic (counting techniques) for two grading period and since I was good with those topics I received good grades
3. And according to my math teacher I was the nicest in my class.Well,since a lot of my classmates dislike her they tend to be unruly on her.

Still, I do not deserve it and you know what, I failed to bag the award I was hoping to get instead I received the award that I would never thought of getting. Oh well.....

The Sophomore Saga

My sophomore year in college is over! (well technically not yet since we have a 6 week summer class but I consider that time as "transition period" for our third year). This year is way better, miles away, from my freshman year. Lot of things happened to me that will be forever in marked in my heart! Well I fulfilled one of my dreams, to be part of a school publication! Being at Heraldo Filipino made me feel more "fulfilled" as a student. Yeah, my life is more complicated than the ordinary student but it is more okay when you are doing something more and being exposed to the community and not be just be confined in the four corners of the classroom. I have learn that being a school scribe is not just about writing no its way more beyond than that. at first i wanted to be in a school paper for the glory of the byline but as time goes I realized that I also enjoy being a student servant. Now I currently finished all three tests for my editorial bid. I hope I'll pass and be a an editor but if not it will be okay since I will have my time.

Anyways I also witnessed the dramatic change of my classmates, the once passive section has bloomed! They are now active and now shows interest with our course. Before they seem so bored,lazy and has the kanya kanya attitude but now I'm seeing their potentials. In fact we won two competitions and some of the members of the class won awards (including me). Some are already joining extra curricular organizations. I now see hope and I wont be scared anymore that we will not do our productions for our third year, I know our class can do it!

My academics were better! Maybe because the subjects I have taken were more likable (well except for a few like reed144). I almost became a Dean's lister during the first semester! Next school year it will be a majority of major subjects (only two out of 8 subjects are minors)

Another chapter of my college life has folded and I'm waiting the next chapter with excitement

The Haircut

I had my haircut last Sunday and when I entered the examination room my classmates cheered [?]! I was really surprised with that response as if it was my first time to get my hair cut.Though I did not have a haircut for three months. Well, I guess the response was becuase I did not have my usual "barber's cut". I do not know what my new haircut/style is called. Actually, my mother meddled with this, she was actually demanding to change my hair do ["hindi raw pang binata"] for weeks and last Sunday she "forced" me to accompany her to the salon, I knew that I will my have haircut that day. When I was about to say to the haircutter "barbers cut" my mother talked and said that he[the haircutter] should give me a "pang binata" haircut.I was really embarassed with that scene but I choose not to speak and just give in with her "demands". But what can I say,this time the cliche "mothers knows best" was correct, base from the response I received, I looked better with my new hair style.

Examining Life

let me share my article published at Heraldo Filipino (the school paper I'm a part of) last month. It was the entry for Staffers Corner. Staffers' Corner is the section where a staff is given a space on the opinion section of the paper. Every issue three staff members are assigned to write anything they feel and the Editorial Board will choose what to publish. Luckily, my piece made it. This essay is geeky actually since it talks about exams.

After weeks of partying, feasting, shopping, and other festivities in the Yuletide season, we are now back to reality: classes are back. And what a way to welcome 2006 as we faced the result of our pre-Christmas activity that is the preliminary examination.

How did you fare? Do you belong to the group of students beaming with pride at their stellar performances, the group that says “okay lang”, or the other set that wants to crumple their test papers?

Generally, it was okay for me (so I belong to the second group) except for one. I flunked one exam. It was one big shocker since I did not see it coming.

I was confident that I would get a good score since the exam is more on the subjective type. This is the type of exam I prefer and like since it does not involve memorizing many complicated terms.

My jaw literally dropped when I saw that my score was so low. I asked myself what went wrong. Did I give out shallow answers? I blamed my penmanship; it is so awful and hard to read. I checked my test paper over and over again; maybe the professor got it all wrong. But in the end, I realized that this happened because I just did not give the right answers.

Some of my friends tried to console me by telling me “it is just an exam, you could still catch up”. But that’s not the whole point! We are not aware that we are learning more than what we have to in our examinations. A piece of paper may not be the true test of over all intelligence. However, it also tests the other skills that we need to survive in this life.

In identification, we learn to name the right terms that suit the description in the question. Just like in life, we must be vigilant enough to identify the right decisions so as to avoid committing an error that will probably mess up our life. In identification there are no options for us to choose from, you have to rely on your knowledge and must trust yourself that you are giving the right answer. Decision-making is hard but if we are sure that what we on decide is for the better, then we should go for it.
In matching type, we pair terms that complement each other. We match terms from column A to terms of column B. There are many choices for us to choose from but there is only one that will exactly suit one term. We have a counterpart that will “fit” in our lives. We just have to be patient for that “someone” to come. Sometimes, the number of choices in column B is greater than in column A; their purpose is to confuse us. In our journey to find our match we will occasionally encounter “things” that could pose as “our match”. We have to be careful, since there are a lot that seems to be the right one only to find out that it isn’t.

In multiple choice, we are given an array of options for us to pick the correct one. Our life is full of choices and we are in full control of which option you think is correct. Some underestimates multiple choice, they don’t care that much to the point that they are using the “mini-mini-mayni-mo” strategy. It often results in more wrong answers than correct ones. We must take selecting what option is right seriously, each option has its own premise but only one is correct. It seems easy to do but when you are faced with beautiful options and you only have to pick one, it will be an uneasy task letting go of the other choices.

In true or false, we are tested if the statement is telling the correct information or not. Knowing what is true is like being aware of what is right and knowing what is false is like being alert enough to spot what is wrong. But there are always those tricky statements that will bamboozle your senses.

You will be confused if the statement is really true because there is a part of you that says it’s false. There will be a point in our lives when we are faced with a situation that we must decide whether to say Yes or No. We will be bewildered by that situation and you might ask, “What should I do? Should I go or walk away from it?”

That’s why we must spot if there is something incorrect in the situation. Like in modified true or false, in which we will underline the word/s that made a statement wrong. And when we are able to unravel that incorrect situation, if there is something we could do about it, we should stand up and do something. In modified true or false when you identified the wrong word/s you must change it to the correct one.

The essay type could be taken in two ways: pain, if you don’t like reasoning out and writing too many sentences or joy, if you prefer telling what’s on your mind and be heard out. The essay is the hardest to correct. Why? Unlike the other types, there is no answer key. You could not just randomly give points not until you have read and understand what the person wrote.

The essay tests our critical thinking. What do we think of a certain issue, statement or problem? It seeks the deepest corners of our brains. Even if you have a photographic memory, it does not guarantee you a perfect score in the essay. It will all depend on how you present your ideas, stand, and arguments. We face so many situations that will test how we think. If we are not a critical thinker we could be easily fooled. What if the person talking to you very enthusiastically and convincingly is lying? If you don’t analyze the content of his message you will easily believe what he is saying which could probably harm your life. We all face problems that thwart us from achieving personal goals; we need to think well on how to handle those problems for us to be able to survive. If we just sit and rant and not think of the solution, we’re doomed.

Life is like an examination; if you did not study, expect the worst; but if you prepared yourself, there will be a good outcome. But if you failed don’t give up. There will be another chance and hopefully this time, you are better prepared. However, always expect the unexpected since life, like an exam, is unpredictable sometimes.

First and Last

Last Tuesday (Feb 27), I had my very last PE class! yehey! I'm really poor with anything that involves physical agility and competitiveness and ever since I was in grade school I always dread PE class. My very last PE subject is volleyball and for the finals our class was divided into four groups to compete. I was telling my team mates that I will be one big liability, good thing though my team mates were supportive telling me that I can do it. Well I could not. We ranked third with 3 wins and 3 losses, I let out a sigh of relief that we did not end last (the 4th placer had a 0-6 win-loss card). My classmates were really so nice to me since every point I contribute in the game they gave me a pat in the back and for the errors (which are a lot) they will say "okay lang yan". Everytime our team wins a match they include me in the "galing natin" exchanges although I was not really a factor for the victory. During the whole duration of the competition my biggest problem was that I could not properly serve the ball. My attempts were awful and embarassing, the ball would go to different places. However during our last game, I finally did it! There were loud cheers when I was able to serve the ball correctly. Quite ironic, having my first correct service in my very last game.

SO that was it, the PE part of my life is finally over. I will miss PE though but I will not miss the feeling of frustration I felt over my failures in PE.

A Reco to Remember

Our class had its recollection (reco) today and I enjoyed it so much. The reason is that my class is now united compared to the divided kanya kanya class I had a year ago. I felt how tight the bond is. Inside the bus they were all enjoying each other’s company. There was also reconciliation between two of my classmates who had a dispute over a guy. My classmates were cheering when they finally patch up their differences. It was fun seeing that, I actually seated alone in the bus but although I was in my solitude I still felt the belongingness. Why? During the recollection we had this envelopes where you can leave notes for your classmate and I receive a lot. It was very flattering reading those kind words. Before that we also had this activity where the facilitator asked us to give eight notes that says “Thank you for being a special part of my life” and “I hope we could get close to each other” and when the facilitators tallied who got the most number of notes and to my surprise I was the one who receive the most number (18). I never thought that I would end up as one of the people that everyone considers as a friend. During the first few months of my freshman year I really felt out of place, it seems that I could not find my place to any of the groups in my class. So I ended up being not a part of any group. But that thing proved to be a blessing in disguise since I became flexible; I was not confined to hanging out to a specific group. I could work with all of my classmates thus bringing me closer to them. If there is something I learned in this recollection is how important pakikisama is and people could still like and accept you without changing your personality just to pretend that you are someone you are not.

One Down

Today was the Literary Festival of my school and my class participated. It was really stressful since our World Literature professor was pressuring us since its her "legacy" to win. We only had little time to prepare and she (the prof) want us to wear grand costume (suits and gown) plus other ambitious props (float ala MMFF). Our five minute presentation was not polished because we had a hard time to have the complete cast for the rehearsals since some of the cast members were irregular students and our schedules did not match. I was really worried that we will mess this up but good thing we pulled it of and won Best Presentation, Actress and Costume (we so deserve to win that award, its not easy to walk suffering from scorching heat wearing formal attires) Plus my classmates sweep the Poetry Writing contest bagging all the three awards. I'm so relieved that one burden is already crossed out from my list. Our class will face a lot of pressures that will once again challenge us. To give you an idea what awaits our class here is my "to do" list.
* Organize a seminar for my Introduction to Journalism class (our resource speaker is campus journalist from another school)
* Television productions every week for my Introduction to Broadcasting class (last week news program, this week talk show,coming soon drama program)
* Write a term paper about a tv program for Introduction to Broadcasting class again
* make a website for my Computer class
* Interview a company for REED (by the way I got a low Midterm grade with this subject what terrible performance since last sem I got the highest score for my REED)
* Harder topics for my Elementary Statistics class

Few weeks to go before this school year ends I cant wait for the day that all this stuff are done already.

One

happy anniversary forg files!

I should have posted this last February 3, the exact date of my blog’s first year anniversary but because I was preoccupied with some other plus our Internet connection at home is malfunctioning again I wasn’t able to do it anyways cliché as it may sounds its better late than never. Blogging for me started as a curiosity that led to a habit. A year ago, I was at the ERS [the computer section of out Library that became my second home when I was a freshman] the student who used the computer before me forgot to log out at his blog. So, as a good Samaritan [for luck of better term or just plain laziness to think] I did it for him but I got curious with this blog so I signed up and typed my first ever entry and it was all about my writing frustration.
I like having a blog because as a frustrated/budding writer this site is my avenue where I say stuff I could not do orally. I admit my write-ups are full of grammatical errors and disorganized thoughts but what matters most for me is that I was able to express what’s in my mind. Having this blog is like having my own column. It is also good that other people could read what you are about to say. I always feel glad whenever someone leaves a comment [I want to thank these people who always have the time to waste their precious surfing moments reading what’s in my blog. Your comments, feedback, thoughts, reactions are truly appreciated]; it is really good to hear what they have to say with my ramblings.
I bought the latest book of Bob Ong [stainless longganisa] and it was all about the author’s passion for writing [of course Ong presented it in a funny way]. I loved the book and it even inspired me to continue writing. I don’t think I could ever reach the caliber of writing Ong and Jessica Zafra [my other favorite writer] has but I hope someday I could also write a book. I have an idea actually. I’m planning to print all my blog entries [a total 56 including this one] for the past year and compile it and have it book bind [if that’s what you call it]. I will also include all my published articles I have written for our school publication and the radio and TV scripts I have written for my Introduction to broadcasting class. This collection will be my “first book”. Somehow, I could feel like a real writer!

On Air

Today, in our Introduction to broadcasting class we did a radio drama and it was a fun experience. I was the scriptwriter and the host. Our concept is a counseling program ala Maalala mo kaya . We named our radio program “LA SALLE LOVE NOTES” and the name they coined for me “JEC DE MANGO”. I really find it funny but heck I took the role seriously. Our story is so teenybopper and some of my classmates were surprised that I was the one who wrote the script. The story is full of clichés and so mushy but I actually wanted it that way since I believe that kind of story is easy to write. Plus, I can’t write a full pledge comedy, which I also wanted to do. My attempt to write that genre was so awful. The turn out for the production was satisfactory although we had some problems but it was understandle since we only had a limited time to practice so we werent able to polish the errors of the program. As Jec De Mango, I was terrible! I said one line two times! I also sounded like I had a cold! My attempt to have a modulated voice sucks! Speaking does not really complement me. Anyways, I'm so enjoying this class because we are learning the "real thing", no boring lectures, no memorizations, it will all depend on your skill and team work as well.

Icons

Manny Pacquiao's boxing match with Erik Morales last Sunday is one unforgettable event in the history of the Philippines. Seriously, when I went outside to buy something, our place was almost deserted. Everybody is tune in despite the long commercials. My family is not exception, even my mother who does not really watch sports stuff was glued to the tv sets, my father had a half day at work. That's how strong Pacquiao's impact. And when he won, there were screams in the house (Me, I did not since I already knew Pacquiao won because I checked the Internet and was spoiled). When I watched I could really the Pacman fever, some even spent 300 pesos just to watch the match with no commercials at the cinema (I think its overpriced). Of course, the politicians "umepal", they are so disgusting! When PGMA called, I was cringing, she sounded like her impersonator Tita Glow. I also found out that the match rated high, it got 60+%. It was a great day and hopefully this thing wont get into Pacquiao's head and also I wish he wont suffer the fates of the other boxers who went broke.

***

"Namatay na si Ernie Baron kahapon"

"Buhay pa siya nung Friday"

This was my stupid comment when a classmate told me the news. I already knew that but what I was trying to say that I've just heard him on radio having a return from a long break. I was shocked when I found out he died. Since I was a child I have always like Ernie Baron, although I dont believe that he knows everything, I'm still amaze with his wide scope of knowledge. I listen to his radio show and back then I really wish we had a phone so we could call him. When his radio show, knowledge power, was made into a television show, I followed the show religiously and was really bummed when it was cancelled. I still could not grasp the fact the he is gone forever and I could not help but feel sad that I never had the chance to call him. Weather reports will never be the same again. No one will answer the questions of his listeners. R.I.P Ernie Baron

Abnormal

I got a dose of my own medicine today. You see, I love teasing my classmates about their love lives. But when they asked about mine, I don’t know how to answer. In my previous entry [romance isn’t part of my vocabulary] I wrote how I never, as in never, felt my “heart beat” or even had a “real crush”. I tried to tell my classmates that but they refuse to believe it. Some even commented that I’m an abnormal because I never had a crush. I’m not offended with the statement since I understand them and they don’t really mean to hurt me. Besides what they said is true, what I’m experiencing isn’t really normal. And I admit I really wish to have a person that I will really like, someone that will sweep my feet away, and someone that I will really have strong feelings too. It’s not my choice and I’m no love scrooge (if you know what kind of shows/movies I watch). How can I explain it? Even I could not fathom what is really the problem with me. Even a crush, I never had one… I’m such a weirdo. Yeah, I find some girls attractive but not really a crush. I will consider an attraction a crush if I feel “kilig” or I really think about/daydream about that girl. But I never met a girl where I felt that. When a classmate ask me what are my “standards” to make me fall for a girl and I can’t answer that too because even I, I don’t know what I really like. This “thing” about me could also be included in the reasons why I’m mistaken as a gay, you see one time my mother asked me if I have a crush on someone in my class, stupid me, I answered the truth… and what did I get? A “bakla ka ba?” remark. How could I possibly explain to her that even if I don’t have a crush I’m not gay? How I wish I were a normal teen.

Something to smile about

After a gloomy two weeks today I feel so delighted. For the past days, I really feel sad although most of my peers and family are not aware of it. I’m good at hiding it. The reasons well it varies from broken eyeglasses (for the nth time) and bag, disappointing grades, annoying professors and endless worries about stuff not done, half done and clueless on how to do it. I was so down during that time and today an event gave me the biggest smile in recent time. Well, I won at a quiz bee competition. And it’s an interschool match, which even makes me feel proud. This week is Media Awareness Days of my school so they had different activities lined up and of that is the quiz bee. I was not supposed to join since my classmate, Gerard, was selected to compete. But when I was watching a school presentation my classmate told me that they need another participant since the contest needs two participants every group. So there I was dragged into the quiz bee room. I was really nervous but since I’m with Gerard, a quiz bee champion, I know that our team will give a good fight. What made me happy is that I answered questions that I’m not aware that I know, the answer just popped into my head. The other teams did not know the correct answers, of the items I know. So that gave us an edge leading to our victory. To share with you those answers that will be forever in my head from now on
· Screen Test
· Syndication
· Mahatma Gandhi’s quote “I like Christ but I don’t like Christians”
The first two items were stock knowledge I gained from being a couch potato and the last one something that I have read over the net. Another fun thing is that we were interviewed 3 times. Well, the third year broadcast journalism students is currently making a news program and they covered the said event. It’s amusing when they approach you and ask if they could interview us, I feel like a celebrity. This is the first time I have won something big, I join contests but I never win or even close at it. It’s been a great day and thanks to this I felt rejuvenated because my morale that was down got a boost. I was “lost” for weeks and I’m now back on track!

Reasons why stereotypically I’m not a man

I’m not a homosexual or a bisexual but I’m not surprise if people would mistake me as such. I’m not against them but it’s infuriating when people judge you for being gay because you do not possess “manly” qualities. Let me enumerate the qualities I have that stereotype man lacks off.

1. I cry- Boys don’t cry says the cliché. But I do. In my elementary days I have the reputation of a crybaby. When I look back at it, I’m embarrassed but that’s me I’m really sensitive. When I grew up I don’t cry anymore in front of many people. However, I sob in my solitude especially during bedtime. But I do it silently since I share a room with my brothers.
2.I’m not athletic- lampa ako. Partly because I’m asthmatic (but some people rubs into my face me that some asthmatic people excels in sports). As a kid, I grew up in the four corners of our house doing stuff that does not require me any physical force. During PE, recess or any vacant time I rarely join games because I get tired easily and I’m not that competitive anyway. In taya tayaan, I will easily get ”taya”. I was never into sports; I just don’t like getting tired, sweating hard and panting heavily. In high school most boys play basketball. One time, a classmate asked me “sama ka, mag babasketball kami”. And I said to myself is this guy insulting me? I just (politely) said “Alam nyo naman hindi ako naglalaro nyan”. Even my brothers are persuading me to play basketball but I just don’t see myself doing it.
3.I don’t play computer games. Don’t ask me anything related to sega, playstation or PC games because I will just give you a blank look. I always feel OP (out of place) whenever my peers talk about that, I just could not relate to it . I feel left out really but it just that playing computer games is something that does not really interest me.
4. I don’t check out on girls. You know when guys mumble to each other “tol laki ng boobs nun” and the like. I just find that disrespectful. Of course its really normal to admire a girls physique but for me that is something personal and don’t have to tell the whole world about it. I also despise guys who treat girls as sex toys. For me even if the girl is “liberal” she should be treated with respect.
5. I’m not “wheels” oriented. I know guys love cars but me not that much. Of course I like riding it but I have no interest in driving one. Well, because I think its one big responsibility and I’m "nerbyoso"I might just get into accidents. I don’t really know how to analyze what model of car is good and “astig”. I find drag racing hazardous. However, I want to own one in the future (hopefully I will have a driver) and I will not give a damn what model it is along that it is presentable and working.
6. I don’t smoke- One thing I’m proud about myself is I don’t give in into peer pressure. You could throw any words of persuasion, manipulation games, provoking statement but you could not make me smoke cigarette.
7. I don’t drink alcohol- I just don’t like it. I have nothing against people who drink as long as they know their limits but please don’t force me to drink. Lets just put that me not liking to drink alcoholic beverages is similar to Muslims prohibiting themselves to eat meat.
8. I’m not ma-porma- my taste in fashion is boring. I wear plain clothes and I don’t use gel on my hair. My barber does not need to ask how will he style my hair since its always “barber’s cut”. I will not spend money to buy signature clothes, divisoria stuff as long as in good condition and presentable is fine by me. I’m not aware with what is “uso” and does not jump in the bandwagon.
9. I’m not into action movies. I find other genres more entertaining including chick flicks. If I have to choose between James Bond and Kate and Leopold I would chose the latter.
10. I’m no rocker or hip-hop thug. For sometime I even like boyband songs. I listen to some rock songs but when the song is too loud or has too many curses or sounds demonic naaah. I don’t know many rock bands except for the ones that are popular or in the mainstream. Same case with hiphop, well I did like eminem’s Lose Yourself. Yes, even if I talk fast I’m no rapper. My taste in music is pop, as long as it is pleasant to my ears I will like that song.

Warming up

New year, fresh start.

Its already 2006, when I was a little kid I imagined that by this year the world will now have flying cars, robots that acts like a human, intergalactic relationships and of course the Philippines will be a first world country.And now what has happened? See, the country when I was a kid did not much change except that almost all have a cellphone, the fare is waaayyyy higher than before, the tv war today resembles a frat/gang war,komiks are gone and politicians are still the same. *sigh* when will it change?

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Classes will resume on January 4. I am both excited and nervous. Excited because I will be "useful" again, during this vacation I'm just a bum. wake up, take a bath, eat, run errands, surf the net, watch tv, surf the net, eat,listen to the radio, mag ipon ng tubig, watch tv, surf the net, listen to the radio until I doze off to sleep. When I'm in school I have something to do. Nervous because I have three major subjects that I believe will really drain me physically and mentally, I just hope that I could meet my teachers standards. Plus my work at Heraldo Filipino, students elections is coming up and last year it was chaotic, I hope it wouldn't be the case this year coz I don't know if I could handle that.