Friday, January 20, 2006

Abnormal

I got a dose of my own medicine today. You see, I love teasing my classmates about their love lives. But when they asked about mine, I don’t know how to answer. In my previous entry [romance isn’t part of my vocabulary] I wrote how I never, as in never, felt my “heart beat” or even had a “real crush”. I tried to tell my classmates that but they refuse to believe it. Some even commented that I’m an abnormal because I never had a crush. I’m not offended with the statement since I understand them and they don’t really mean to hurt me. Besides what they said is true, what I’m experiencing isn’t really normal. And I admit I really wish to have a person that I will really like, someone that will sweep my feet away, and someone that I will really have strong feelings too. It’s not my choice and I’m no love scrooge (if you know what kind of shows/movies I watch). How can I explain it? Even I could not fathom what is really the problem with me. Even a crush, I never had one… I’m such a weirdo. Yeah, I find some girls attractive but not really a crush. I will consider an attraction a crush if I feel “kilig” or I really think about/daydream about that girl. But I never met a girl where I felt that. When a classmate ask me what are my “standards” to make me fall for a girl and I can’t answer that too because even I, I don’t know what I really like. This “thing” about me could also be included in the reasons why I’m mistaken as a gay, you see one time my mother asked me if I have a crush on someone in my class, stupid me, I answered the truth… and what did I get? A “bakla ka ba?” remark. How could I possibly explain to her that even if I don’t have a crush I’m not gay? How I wish I were a normal teen.

3 comments:

JP said...

forg is suffering from the valentine blues... hehehe...

papst_josef said...

jp: heheheheh... don't worry, everyone's got their own valentine blues... even i do... and i know u too... :P

jecoup: nyahahahah. that's what you get for teasing ** on me. (joke) anyway, in my opinion, it's not abnormal to not have crushes. you'll have soon. but maybe it wasn't meant for you to have crushes yet. just wait for that time. and don't listen to those who box you. and, again, wag kang magsasabi ng "tapos." i've told you that.

Anonymous said...

noting's wrong with that. you'll have your time. ^^

-CMC