I got a dose of my own medicine today. You see, I love teasing my classmates about their love lives. But when they asked about mine, I don’t know how to answer. In my previous entry [romance isn’t part of my vocabulary] I wrote how I never, as in never, felt my “heart beat” or even had a “real crush”. I tried to tell my classmates that but they refuse to believe it. Some even commented that I’m an abnormal because I never had a crush. I’m not offended with the statement since I understand them and they don’t really mean to hurt me. Besides what they said is true, what I’m experiencing isn’t really normal. And I admit I really wish to have a person that I will really like, someone that will sweep my feet away, and someone that I will really have strong feelings too. It’s not my choice and I’m no love scrooge (if you know what kind of shows/movies I watch). How can I explain it? Even I could not fathom what is really the problem with me. Even a crush, I never had one… I’m such a weirdo. Yeah, I find some girls attractive but not really a crush. I will consider an attraction a crush if I feel “kilig” or I really think about/daydream about that girl. But I never met a girl where I felt that. When a classmate ask me what are my “standards” to make me fall for a girl and I can’t answer that too because even I, I don’t know what I really like. This “thing” about me could also be included in the reasons why I’m mistaken as a gay, you see one time my mother asked me if I have a crush on someone in my class, stupid me, I answered the truth… and what did I get? A “bakla ka ba?” remark. How could I possibly explain to her that even if I don’t have a crush I’m not gay? How I wish I were a normal teen.