Friday, November 21, 2008


First, I am aware that my so-called problems pales in comparison with what other people are experiencing. I know that but just let me vent my frustrations, I’m not saying my life is the worst of all anyway. I’m just in this bad mood. Let me rant. I need to release this before I blow up.

Okay here are my frustrations, warning some are shallow but well it still irritates me.
Let’s start with the not so serious one, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies are now canceled. Three of my favorite new US shows last year are gone. So sad. I want to blame the network but well I understand it is business. The shows failed. Very unfortunate. I just hope the stories of those shows will have a decent closure at least.
It is just sad when a show close to your heart ended badly.

Now, I’m so frustrated with my Internet connection. It is not stable. I always get the limited or no connectivity notice everytime I open this laptop. Sometimes, after a few minutes and disable/enable I will get a connection. But some nights it just would not. Then there will be times when I’m in the middle of surfing I will get disconnected. It is so annoying. Yes, I’m such a loser since I could not live without the Internet. This has been the “place” where I feel happy.

Then this laptop is just slow. There is a virus in the Internet Explorer, to remove it I need to do it manually but I’m no computer expert. This laptop is just secondhand, I want to get it fixed but I have no time.

Then my PC in the office is down as well, I’m using the office laptop for the meantime which is not user friendly. But hey I’m gonna leave the company anyway after my contract ends on December 8. Now it leads me to my work frustrations.

The people I work with are nice, approachable and friendly. The company is just starting but it is growing. But I don’t like my work. I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment. It sucks to feel that way. And yes, the salary is also a factor. You know I could tolerate a not so huge salary as long as I enjoy the job but unfortunately I don’t like the job that I do for the company. I could not give my 100% when working even if some of the tasks assigned to me ain't that hard. That’s why I decided not to renew. It will be unfair for the company for me to work there yet I'm not being an asset.

I applied in a company where a high school classmate works for, he encouraged me to try it out It’s an editing job for some foreign documents. I hope I’ll get in, I will have my second interview this Wednesday.

The company that I am applying for is not really my "dream" company . But the pay is good enough, way better with what I’m earning right now so I guess that would be a motivating factor for me if I get hired AND if ever I will not like the job as well.

It really saddens me that life after college is just so disappointing so far: a bum for several months then becoming an unsatisfied employee on my first job. It really is hard to get a job that YOU REALLY WANT! That’s the harsh reality. I know beforehand that the real world isn’t a walk in the park. I conditioned myself already early on that it won’t be easy. But its really different when you are already there.

Lastly, I feel so frustrated because I could not go anywhere near my dreams because of my own fault. I set so many limitations mainly because I am too afraid to step out of my comfort zone.

I do not know how to wrap up this post nicely so I’ll just end here.


David said...

I haven't seen any of the other two shows but I am extremely sad to see that they have canceled Eli Stone. I found the series to be touching with humor and occasional dance numbers.

Good thing that they aren't going after Brothers & Sisters. [searches furiously for wood]

forg/jecoup said...

Eli Stone is an underrated gem.

I love Brothers and Sisters too! The show is stable in the US ratings so it is not really a candidate for cancellation. But it is no assurance as well if it would get another season. But hopefully it will stay.