The past two days gave me time to think. To be honest, I feel so disappointed on how I performed as the EIC of HF team 22. I do not want to wallow to self pity but I have to be honest to myself: I did mediocre.
It is the sad truth. I just felt that I was just like the caretaker of this year's batch. I took some risks that flopped. I became so complacent. I became so passive. I was spineless. I took it easy.
One of the reasons why I did not submitted an application for the Student Awards for Campus Journalist of the Year is because I don't deserve it.
I feel guilty when some people praise me, I am overrated.
But all the stuff I experienced as EIC will be forever in my heart. I learned so much. I do hope that somehow my co-editors and staffers learned something from me too. I hate being emotional. I just need to let this out.
Still, I'm thanking God that he let me experience this. This is definitely one unforgettable experience. How I wish I have done better.
After graduation, I will still spend my summer with HF, doing my remaining responsibilities and making it sure that there will be a smooth transition with Team 23 editorial board.
After that I will not go job hunting yet. I am fortunate that I'm not really pressured to work immediately and I already told my parents that I will have a "vacation" first before I face the real world.
I just need time to think and reflect what I really want in my life.
What career path I would like to pursue.
Time to recover from all the disappointments I caused.
Time to heal.
Time to recharge.
Because I want to face the future with a better and stronger me.