Fitting In

 I had a talk with my nephew about he is not really fitting in with his Grade 9 classmates. Thank God there are no bullies but it's just that he doesn't talk to a lot of his classmates when it's a break. He is an introvert just like and frankly I do think he is quite smarter (in the perspective kind of way) than the rest of his class so he can't jive with them yet. He also does not have the same interest because he does not play ML like the others or into social media as well. I said to him don't worry eventually you'll find your space there, he is still new to the school as his classmates have known each other since elementary while he came from the other school and was stuck for online school on his first two years in high school. It's quite fascinating to see my nephew now a full-pledge teen with his social issues and all. I remembered myself really but I was more proactive in academics unlike him who won't raise his hand in class even when he knows the answer. But to be honest, I'm not too worried about my nephew because the fact that he can't open up to me is a good thing, he knows how to process what he feels, and he has a good grasp of his emotions. But still, I will be looking out for him always. I'm turning 36 this year and honestly, at this point, I don't see myself having my own family anymore so at least I can be a parental figure to my nephew like I've always been since he was a little and I'm happy with that. 

Pen

 I was having ice cream at a fast food earlier when someone approached me earlier selling pens. When someone sells stuff on me randomly I usually shy away because I feel uncomfortable and also suspicious that it could be a scam or budol. Yes, I'm that paranoid. But for that instance, I didn't let her finish her sales pitch and I just said quickly I will buy one and if she has change for 50. The pen she was selling was 35 a piece and 3 for 100, I just bought one quickly and left the fast food immediately since I was finished with the ice cream. Also, my paranoid self thought if this was a scam I might as leave at once just in case. So crazy like a part of me wanted to help because I my gut feel says the lady was really just a nice person trying to earn a living but my paranoid self has trust issues too. I also want to look away when she is ultimately rejected by other customers and the inevitable getting shooed away by the management because it is not allowed to solicit stuff inside. I'm so confused how to react sometimes really. I want to be kind but also cautious. 

On The Fence

 So some college classmates invited me for a get-together next week. I didn't commit but I did vote on the poll on where to go. It's Sunday but I do house errands in the morning and usually do scripts in the afternoon or if there's no immediate due, sleep. Also, truth be told, I don't feel like engaging with people these days because just my introverted self, and also I don't know if I will just feel nostalgic but also at the same time a failure. I know crazy. Let's see. 

Scram

 Another dubbing script done! Honestly, I could have finished it earlier but it's so cold today that I took some quick afternoon naps (yes plural) instead of finishing the script! This is the struggle when the weather is cold! 

10 Missed Calls

 So an unregistered number called my number 10x and when I texted "who is this?" no reply. If it was really important they would reply or at least they would have texted when I didn't answer the first time. I suspect it's a sales call or maybe even a scam. These days the only people I text are family and the carpool driver for my ride home. So I really don't answer unregistered numbers. They are doing their jobs but I just don't like dealing with salespeople 

Initiative

 Sometimes I do wish people are sensitive enough not to let bad energy spread to others. As a person, who is always on the receiving end of this it really takes a toll on you no matter how you try to pacify the situation or pretend that it does not affect you in any way.  It's hard to take in and I cope by just thinking that this isn't the worst-case scenario so I should be at least thankful for that. I am of course but nevertheless when there are rough patches even if it's small, it still shakes my system and affects me in a way I always feel heavy. And yes thinking of another life always happens. But I pull myself back to what is my reality and I go back to what I do best - keeping it together.

Cleared

 I was able to finish this task in preparation for a more challenging task that I will do in the next few days. I hope I can concentrate well on this because I always get distracted for some reason. But it's always just at the start but when I get things going I am on fire so hopefullly I can get things done tomorrow i

Missed

 Oscar nods are out and sadly Dolly De Leon missed for Best Supporting Actress. What's sad is that her film Triangle of Sadness got nominated for screenplay, directing and picture. She was probably 6th in the voting. So frustrating! But then again for her to reach this far especially since she had a very lowkey acting career even in her home country is still amazing. I hope they invite her to present at the Oscars!

See

Why can't I feel happy about this matter that makes sense on paper but just makes me think of the other side gloating? It is just pride? I guess this is a lesson in humility?  This isn't really a big thing but just about something of personal interest? hobby? I don't know to explain it. Maybe it is like my version of sports I guess. Yeah, I'm rambling but I just need to let this thing that bothers me out in the open so hopefully, I can drop it and not be bothered by something that's not really a big deal, I just make it to be. 

Makjang

Finished writing the Filipino dubbing script of this kdrama that I just learned is what's classified as "makjang". I guess it's like the equivalent of our traditional teleseryes? There's a baby switch in this show I just finished working on. Also it has over 100 episodes and with 30 minute runtime so this aired everyday. It really has the typical soap opera elements and also has lower production value compared to the the famous kdramas that has less than 20 episodes usually. But anyway this show I believed hasn't aired yet on local TV because last I checked it wasn't on the schedule of the network that acquired this. It's still airing the other kdrama we worked on and finished dubbing late last year. Anyway, this show is quite a treat to write because I can just do it in a day because it has a smooth flow and not as tricky dialogues to adapt. I'm ahead of the deadline by two weeks! Whew! But I did plan to finish this first because I have two tougher English dubbing scripts to work on for the next two weeks!

Bloom

 I read something that gave me hope that we did the right thing. My overthinking self usually finds a lot of seemingly ordinary things as a sign that we did it wrong but for the first time, I read something that gave me hope that maybe my worst fear will not be happening. I will probably go back being paranoid sooner or later but anything that can give me hope I would hold on to. 

Horizon

 Just watched The Fabelmans and I really liked it. Gabriel Labelle,, really should have been in the conversation for Best Actor nominee, he was good and carried the movie very well. I never warmed up to Paul Dano before but I really like him here. Seth Rogen, as usual, annoyed me but it kinda suits the character he's playing  Michelle Williams is really good because the character could have been a campy mess but she brought humanity to a character that is annoying on paper. While it is Spielberg's personal story, it still captured a very universal feeling on how to deal with life as you grow up and learn more about your family and what drives you in life.

Promising

 The meeting we had with the client was more of a general online presentation to all partner studios but honestly, I'm really excited about this one. It's just starting and they are still in the process of working things out so the actual work assignments won't be coming soon we just have to familiarize ourselves with the platform that we will use first. I've tried it and it's really exciting!  

Description

 Today I managed to learn more about this potential project we have. This is different from what I normally do but nevertheless still interests me! This is more challenging because there's a specific tool I have to use plus timing and everything. Tomorrow, I'll get to know more about what the process will be. I feel motivated to do well in this area as well!

Hunch

 I had a talk with an officemate something we have in common, a challenge we've been dealing with personally. And it's quite amazing, how we are thinking the same. It did remind me of this ongoing fear I have that will probably be something I be forever be afraid of. But really hoping and praying the worst is over.

No talk

 I'm stressing myself about a recurring drama and even if I try to just ignore it but they always find a way to get me in between. I sometimes I just want to blurt out loud that ENOUGH and doesn't inconvenience me anymore but iof course that is not happening that's why I'm just posting it here to let it out of my mind. 

Fearless

Just finished watching Puss in Boots: The Last Wish and the reviews were good, it was so unexpectedly good! The animation was so amazing, a big upgrade from the past Shrek-verse movies! And the story as well is quite adult too (but not too adult for kids to not appreciate) which makes you appreciate valuing your life and making the most out of it but also embracing fear but not letting it defeat you.

SDYN

 I'm getting sad again over things that directly do not affect me but have strong attachments for. I understand why it is happening and it has been three years but somehow I still can't accept how everything has changed. How it was broken to pieces and despite having some movement upwards, it's hard to rebuild itself from the ashes. I thought I'd long accepted that this is the case already but every loss still makes me sad.

Not Exactly

So found out some good news today. It's not from the source that I want to... (hopefully not yet) but still it's a go and this has potential for one thing I've been thinking about. I wish I didn't know that much these days because my nature of always worrying is not ideal for it but I really want to know! I'm quite a mess I know. Scattered brain. Anyway, hopefully next week we get some more good news!

Waiting

 For now, things are manageable but a little slow and I'm starting to get alarmed. Looking at it from another perspective, maybe it's good to have a slowdown after jampacked months. But I hope we get some good news though, maybe as early as tomorrow? I have to be patient I know but just want assurance I guess that everything's going to continue and it was not a fluke last year.