Sagisag

 

Live newsroom production back in college!  Looking back, very proud of my group, some of the news items we covered were hardcore for third-year college students! Good thing I was a writer here so no TV on-cam participation. I remember holding the manila paper of the script! How old school hahah! Oh well, I stumbled upon this video uploaded by my classmate who edited this project. It's nice to travel back in time when school stuff like this were my only source of stress!!!!

Reverberate

It's getting tricky to plan some things because there's always fear at the back of my head of a nightmare coming back. I easily get scared now and not just me. Yesterday's outburst post was due to that actually. While things got ok as it usually does but the effect still lingers. Oh Dear Lord, please let my fears not happpen. 

Terrible

 Always on the receiving end of stressful situations. I want to shout and say I'm suffering so much internally already so I don't need the negativity right now. That's the last thing I need now. If you really care about other people's welfare what about thinking about what other people are feeling while you have your meltdown and blame someone who did nothing but make personal sacrifices for all your convenience? I would if I can but I know better that unlike on TV, people baring their heart out does not really lead to quick solutions.  It does not lead to realizations but instead will be taken out of context to put it against you. I don't deserve to be treated this way and maybe someday you will realize the things you have done to me and how broken I am for so long. I made my peace with it and tried not to blame others for my own frustrations but moments like this make it so difficult 

Spent

 It's so challenging to balance my work things and family matters. Like after I did errands, I was dead set to focus on finishing up this dubbing script and things were going well but some tension happened that I needed to sort out. It's so difficult to deal with this, what should I do first? It ruins my momentum too. But well I have no choice but to fix things and pacify everything.  But I reminded myself where we were a week ago to put things in perspective. I'm spent but still at least it's not the worst case scenario, I need to remind myself whenever things like this happen. 

Training

So far handling juggling so multiple work things good. Still on track. Hopefully, I can finish this one dubbing script tomorrow, a day before its deadline. If there are no distractions or I don't get lazy I think I can do it! I also have dubbing scripts to check too which I'm aiming to do on Sunday. I was glad to know the one person I was training had good feedback for her first script that was dubbed this week. She's a new graduate who is the niece of one of the admins. She's an honor student and it showed actually. Hard worker and does things on time. I do hope the way I trained her online also helped! I did want to be a teacher before especially for college and maybe I still can someday but currently, I don't have the drive nor the money to take a Master's Degree. But who knows someday, not closing doors.

Holidays

I began working on this Christmas movie dubbing script and it gave me the holiday vibe already! I really hope and pray our holidays this year will be festive and stress-free! It's so me that I always think what could go wrong immediately after thinking of something happy.  Anyway, this dubbing script is not yet due anytime soon and I have other scripts that I needed to finish first but I decided to work on this already, at least have a start because I think it will boost my mood. Anyway, I plan to do a few minutes each night or two. 

Full Plate

Hectic days ahead. Two dubbing scripts to finish plus checking some dubbing scripts done by others too. I was busy the past 3 days doing QC for two shows as well as editing episodes for the cable channel. We have new shows launching next month as well but good thing my video editor is handling that perfectly well. Traffic going home is quite bad these days because there's some road fixing going on as always! I can't help but feel so much time wasted when I could be more productive really! 

My load could have been lighter if I was able to do some things last weekend but it was an emotionally exhausting weekend so I was not able to do something productive. But hey remembering those terrible days is making me feel even more thankful how the past few days have been stable and less stressful. I hope please Lord let it stay that way. 

Squid!

 The Filipino-dubbed version of SQUID GAME is now out on Netflix! It's been great to be part of the dubbing team for this project!

Calm

 After a rollercoaster of emotions the past 4 days, today has been good thank God. Hopefully, it will stay that way. My faith definitely was shaken and challenged and I admit I felt like giving up but I cling on to hope for whatever little it may have. I still feel nervous that I don't want to be complacent like before but I really hope that challenging period has ended and we are truly on the road to recovery.

Torn

 I'm in this state of accepting the inevitable but still feeling frustrated about how it is going on. I keep talking to myself in between acceptance and still clinging to hope. I hate myself for thinking maybe I'm being a bad person for thinking the worst while the others are seeing hope it could turn things around. Am I just being realistic or just being a nasty person for thinking the worst already? I feel like shutting down really. But I can't give up, even if there are times I really want to, but no I can't. There must be something that could pivot what's happening now. Maybe. Oh please Lord there should be.

Bended Knee

 Another close call today and I'm emotionally exhausted. But still thankful for the miracle. I hope please Lord let this blessing continue and hear our prayer. I'm still scared but glad it still didn't happen despite already preparing myself for the worst. But how many times will we have this scenario? Please Lord, hear our prayer

Vulnerable

 We almost lost today. I was quite convinced that this was it. But thankfully by some miracle, it wasn't. Still, the danger is there. I will still be scared each day but yes for now I'm thankful to God that this wasn't the day. And I hope it won't come soon enough. Please no. 

Struggling Never Stops

 Another panic-inducing episode earlier this morning. I was ready to let go, to be honest. Because I was just so afraid that I felt I just need to face the music now. Of course, it's not over yet. Thank God. But the struggle will continue for sure. Lord give me strength. 

Lindol

So yeah experienced the earthquake earlier while I was at the office. Being on the 20th floor did worry me a little since the shaking was longer than I usually feel but thankfully I managed to stay calm and went to work after things got settled but the big boss sent us home before lunch just to be safe. To be honest, most of us were hesitant to leave work because of the many stuff we need to do but, of course, we appreciate the concern of the boss. We just have to maximize tomorrow for all those things that got delayed.  Watching the news now and there's severe damage up north and my heart goes to them. 

Moving

Two people I know moved overseas recently. I didn't ask but I felt last May was the tipping point. I get it. And to be honest, a little envious. It was never my dream to be away from this country, from my family. I'm your type of person who loves his comfort zone. But recent events just made me feel so trapped. I hate to feel this way but it's the truth.  I hate to be all-gloom-and-doom so I'm just avoiding thinking it through. There's nothing I can do anyway.

I Ain't Worried

 So I was listening to this song on repeat on my way to work and back home. Yes, just one song during those two hours. It's such a fun song to listen to really. I love the whistle part. And maybe subconsciously I want that kind of vibe in my life

Way too busy for them problems  and problems to feel, yeah, yeah

No stressing, just obsessing with sealing the deal

I'll take it in and let it go

But I ain't worried about it right now 

For Once

 I've been dealing with things, trying to be brave but I'm really scared of everything. A while ago I said no because I feel like some are only taking the first steps but the one they are pushing to face the more stressful stuff is me. Always me. Can you take this one for once? I've been living with so much mental and emotional torture now. What about trying to help to carry the burden for once? I didn't even want this to happen but I acknowledge that I'm letting fear and it's not the best use of judgment.  I'm so confused and scared really. Everything is just so fragile. 

Looking back

 It's been a year since our lives have changed forever but still thankful that we survived that ordeal. It is still far from over and I'm constantly nervous but I'm thankful each day. I really hope there will be no more nightmares, I can deal with challenges of course but I really hope and pray things will get better and some of my worries will not happen. Please God

Alice

 Thrilled to see one of the series we dubbed finally out on Netflix! The Filipino-dubbed ALICE IN BORDERLAND is now available on the platform! I didn't write a dubbing script for this one but just edited the dubbing scripts and did a quality check after it was dubbed.  

Standing

 Some new projects are coming up and this is good for me so I can focus my mind on them rather than trapping myself in endless dread. I need to calm myself down internally because outside I look so okay. I don't want to let them feel what I truly feel because it would just add a problem to an already stressful situation. The things that are bothering me are beyond what I can handle but I have no choice but deal with matters at hand the best way I can. God help me please.