Pleas

 My sister told me that Nanay's biopsy results could finally be released tomorrow. Still not definitive but chances are good. To be honest, I'm quite nervous what the results will be but we need to know soon enough so we can proceed to the next procedure which is the operation. If she gets the results tomorrow, she could be scheduled for operation on Wednesday. I hope things will turn out fine. Please Dear Lord, listen to our pleas.

Protect

 My sister said Nanay's biopsy results could come out on Tuesday and operation the next or Thursday. Praying hard for favorable results. Also praying Tatay will finally get his first dose of the vaccine tomorrow too. Last week he planned to do so but no first dose was available. The rising cases of the delta variant is really worrisome, please protect my family particularly my parents dear Lord.

1-2-1

 Tokyo Olympics almost over and my country had its best Olympics performance ever with 4 medals (1-2-1) winning the Gold for the first time ever! Came close for a 5th medal at Men's Gymnastics landing 4th and in the top 10 for women's skateboarding and women's golf plus first pole vaulter to make it to the finals. I've followed the Olympics when I was 9 in 1996 when we won a silver in boxing but succeeding Olympics ZERO until 2016 with a surprise silver win in women's weightlifting who eventually gave our first gold this year! We won 3 more medals in boxing which were all so fun to watch. It was just so fun to follow this year because we are so used to losing lol. I hope this isn't just a fluke year and we could do as good if not better in 2024

Dealing withmy nanay's health issue plus with the rising COVID cases here again, my anxiety was on another level but the Olympics gave me a temporary reprieve.

Another Day 1

 First day of another ECQ and we basically stayed at home. Nanay was able to talk to Tatay via video chat this time around and they were quite happy about it. Still another day with no biopsy results but hopefully this is worth the wait. Favorable results please!!! Worked from home today and very glad I have a video editor who is so efficient. I can go to office actually but maybe just once a week, I'll observe first how this system work. I don't want so much hassle or stress from checkpoints and all. Day 1s are always messy. There are over 10K cases again today. What's worse pandemic never stops politicking. I'm afraid of next year's election. Please Lord, free the Philippines from this chaos. Let more people please see the light. I'm so worried and sick of everything that's happening. 

ECQ Eve

 Eve of the return of ECQ in Metro Manila while the status here in Cavite remains in question as there are talks that pushes to be move from GCQ to ECQ. I really hope not because it will add more difficulty especially as my mother is still in the hospital. It's been 2 weeks and Nanay is still in the hospital waiting for the biopsy results before she can proceed to the operation. Good thing is she is in good condition but the waiting for the results is a challenge. She could actually be discharged and come back when the biopsy results are out and to prepare for the operation but that means she'll have to take the COVID19 test again and room availability could be an issue. So we decided to just wait it out at the hospital for her safety especially with the delta threat. But the bills.... We are still managing the best way we can (thanks to those who helped around!) as Nanay's health is the priority. Tough but we are hopeful.

First Dose

 Finally had my first dose of the vaccine. It's not the brand that I prefer but it's hard to get vaccinated here. It took 2 months from registering to getting scheduled so whatever was available I took it. And to be honest, I really want to have a vaccination card since sooner or later it will really become essential on how things will operate here. The upcoming ECQ season 3 feels like it's gonna be messy so I decided to work from home tomorrow as it is the last day before ECQ in Metro Manila so I think it will be extra stressful going home. That's why I needed to have that vaccination card just in case it will be needed to move around and do stuff. 

Continuing to worry for Nanay's health in the middle of all this pandemix anxiety is really driving me insane. 

Please Please Please

 I received financial assistance from the office for my Nanay's hospitalization. Truly grateful for the company as it is a big help too as expenses pile up every day as we wait for her biopsy results and hence the operation schedule. It's hard to think about Nanay's health at the same time the expenses. My father was also busy trying to ask for financial help too and I really feel so bad that he has to do that because none of us 4 kids earned strong enough that this stuff should have not been a problem as we just prioritize Nanay's health and not worry about finances, worried about savings getting wiped out because of a medical emergency. This is truly one of my heartbreaks in this crisis we are experiencing. But anyway as long as Nanay will be safe and healthy in the end, nothing else matters. So please Lord listen to our prayers

Scheduled

 A few minutes ago I finally received the text message from Makati where I work that I finally have my schedule of vaccination on Wednesday 11AM at Makati Coliseum. Most likely I will get Sinovac which I won't like not my preferred brand but at this point I'll take what I can get because I just want to be vaccinated at this point especially with the Delta variant spreading like wildfire. 

Waiting Continues

 Nanay will have blood transfusion tomorrow while we're still waiting for the biopsy results. Hopefully, we get it next week and the schedule for operation too. Waiting is hard but we need to be patient. Today I went to the market and grocery. It's quite touching when the vendors ask where Nanay is especially Ate Aida, her suki for tilapia. She was so concerned. I hope Nanay will get home soon enough.

In Charge

 No results for Nanay's biopsy yet but I'm avoiding thinking about it lately to avoid getting stressed about it lately as to not affect Nanay and the rest of my family's mood as well. I went to Nanay earlier to give Tatay's monthly pension and may house contribution from my salary because Nanay is still in charge of managing the house expenses and not allowing her to do it will dampen her mood and that's what we are avoiding for her to feel too. She instructed me earlier about the grocery and the market purchases. Good thing I was basically her assistant since the pandemic began so I'm familiar with her suki and product preferences. Plus I know how to budget the money as well too

But still I hope we can do the grocery and weekly market visits soon enough.

Dear Lord please heal my mother as soon as possible.

Again

 ECQ is back next week in Metro Manila due to rising Delta variant of COVID19. It will be from Aug 6 to Aug 20. At least there's a week notice this time so I can prepare for work related stuff. But not gonna lie this new round of ECQ is already stressing me out. Thankfully, here in Cavite it will still be GCQ so visiting Nanay at the hospital won't be as complicated if it was ECQ.

Everything happening is just overwhelming. 

Coin

 It's been a week since we had the biggest scare of our lives. Nanay is doing fine at the hospital, preparing for her operation. We are still worried but we are getting by, hopeful that everything will be fine in the end. Thank you again to all who reached out and helped out. You all been a big help, not just financially speaking but also a morale booster as well. Kindness and compassion goes a long way.

***

I was at the bank earlier because I had to replace my payroll ATM card because for some reason any machine is rejecting saying invalid transaction and yet it is accepted when I use it as debit card (like in the hospital where my mother is confined) which was causing unnecessary stress at this time. Anyway, when I left the bank a little girl approached calling me "Sir" and asking for spare change.  I got emotional because the girl does not look like a typical street kid. She was dressed fine, clean and had a little sling bag. I dunno I felt like maybe this isn't really something she usually does and maybe she was forced to do it out of desperation and maybe there's a family emergency. I gave her a 5 peso coin and she was very thankful.  Maybe it's a hunch or maybe I'm just sensitive lately because of this current ordeal but I felt like I saw myself on that little girl. Doing something you don't normally do because of your family. I really hope the girl is in good hands. 

One Thing Over

 Nanay's biopsy was done late afternoon today and she was in recovery room for a couple of hours. I got a little stressed because Tatay was so anxious and worried. I'm sure he was thinking of the worst. When my sister finally texted that Nanay is already out of the recovery room and is now in her regular room, he was visibly relieved. They were able to talk awhile ago. Tatay is in a better mood now.

Next step is now we wait for the findings of the biopsy which will take a few days. Oh Dear Lord please guide my mother. It's gonna be a long wait but we need to be as calm as possible.

Next Step

 Nanay is scheduled for biopsy tomorrow. Praying for the least worrisome outcome. She'll stay there until the schedule of her operation because if she gets discharged and goes home, she'll have to get another swab test for COVID19 and the other pulmonary clearances and financially it will cost us more plus the health risk as well. We are preparing financially now, using savings and also asking for help. It really depresses me we are not in better financial state to not worry about this. But right now it's all about Nanay's recovery. Please Lord, guide my mother. 

GOLD

 The Philippines finally won a GOLD medal courtesy of weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz! I got emotional when it was finally official! What made Hidilyn's victory even more emotional is that she did against odds such as lack of funding and got red tagged by the government and was attacked by their troll army on social media wishing for her to lose. Also today is the last state of the nation address of our president which is torturous per usual but Hidilyn winning that elusive GOLD the same day, she stole the headlines rightfully so!

It was such a good personal mood booster to me too because while my mother is in good and stable condition, she will still have procedures on the horizon that's making me anxious but gotta stay strong for her and my family. This GOLD triumph at least gave me a pause of stressing things out 

1/3

It was  sight of relief when the COVID19 test result came out for Nanay and it was negative. It is mandatory to every patient who will be confined to have it and it was stressing us all out so surviving that at least gives us one less thing to worry about. Since she was no longer a PUI, she was moved to a room where visitors (one at a time) are allowed and I was able to visit. I was happy to see Nanay in good spirit and she looks better too. Still, we still have to wait some more test results for the next procedure of her condition. Praying hard for favorable result or the one that less worrying. I also settled some of the hospital bills today and 1/3 of  what I paid that came from people who helped me when they saw my tweet asking for help. It's such a big help to me and something I will never forget for the rest of my life. Deep inside I still feel ashamed that I had to resort to do that because it is a reflection of the kind of life I have but no regrets because I did this for my family. Although no one in my family knows I did this that's why I only did this on twitter and not on FB where they will know. I will never forget the generosity, compassion and kindness those people have shown to me. I promise that once our situation is better, I will find ways to give back or pay it forward.

The Long Wait

 I was quite embarrassed with what I did yesterday by asking for financial help here and on twitter but I just felt desperate, my mind is swarmed with so many thoughts, possibilities, problems. Nevertheless, I'm extremely grateful to those who were generous to share what they can, I even got help from total strangers. One day I will find a way to give it back and pay it forward as well. I will never those who didn't think and helped right away. Currently, we are waiting test results and I'm going mad waiting but when I talk to Nanay on the phone, I'm composed and positive because she's not showing any signs of fear and even still did her Nanay duties and remind us on what to cook, the laundry and stuff. Oh Dear Lord please heal my mother, please don't let the bad scenario happen. I'm begging you God please

Help

My mother was rushed to the hospital due to bleeding in her breasts. She will likely be operated. I never thought one day I would do this but tough times. If you can help us financially, please send it on my GCash 09154528448. Thank you and pls help pray for my mother too.

Pain

 Nanay is rushed to the hospital because one of her breast is bleeding. My siblings are with her right now and I'm here with Tatay and my nephew awaiting news. There's so much in my mind right now. Is it my karma for being irritated at her earlier? Why Lord? I did nothing but take care of her despite my frustrations, her healthy is always a top priority. Am I being punished for complaining about some of my grievances which in hindsight feels so small with what we are facing right now?  Oh Dear Lord please protect my mother, Please....

Comfy

Raining all day and there's a typhoon. I made sure to finish work tasks at the office today so I can just work from home tomorrow because it does not seem like the rain will stop tomorrow. The weather is so cold that I drank paracetamol because I felt cold and have some body aches, you know signs of flu but no coughs and colds so all good. You can't have flu at this moment of time really. And now I'm sleepy because of the medicine and the cold weather is so inviting to just stay comfy in bed. I do hope this won't be a disruptive typhoon.