Sangkalan

Another day of me trying to get things done but laziness got in the way. I sometimes question why I get myself into situations like this where I'm not directly benefitting but I don't know I just want to be nice and make things run smooth I guess because I feel like it's my responsibility as well. It's my fault for not asserting myself I guess but at the end, it really is not a bad thing. I just need to figure how to balance everything. 

Dry

 I'm starting to get worried again. Nothing of importance this week has come. I need the tank to be full again or even over capacity. That's a good problem to have and not this worry about things not working well. Plus this other thing where they are making unnecessary complicated. But I remind myself that I don't really know what's going on. I hope something comes up next week. We need MORE.

Confundido

 I regret that I did sort of wish that this one block would go away so I'll have an easier but now without it, everything seems to be in limbo. It's so disheartening that there's just no clarity right now. Hanging in the balance, doing things as they go along. No clear path. I hope my questions will be answered soon enough.

Entrada

Floating. Not really sure where the road is heading. I understand why it is being evaluated but there are just other complications for them not to at least give one more go for that remaining period. It is really making me feel listless for over a month now. What a bummer

Instant

So I immediately paid for slacking off yesterday. I hate that sometimes I need to feel pressured to overcome laziness! I don't like buzzer-beater moments and yet I am dragging myself to those moments more often these days. I need better discipline because I can't afford to mess this up. But I do need to learn how to give myself breaks so I won't feel lazy again

Pause

 I think I got tired over the weekend so I needed some pause today. Also there are personal things I need to do as well as a way to watch over things and lessen things I get stressed about. Hopefully, I'll be back tomorrow in full form

Pinky Promise

 After posting that I was "in the zone" last night, it came all crashing down and I was lured into procrastination! I had to pay for it today but at least I was able to pull it off. However, it's not a good feeling though to cram because of my laziness. I still have some things left to do and hopefully I'll do better time management this time and focus better. I really need it so much

In The Zone

 A little late but better than never. Laser-focused now to finish this up that has been long delayed. I need to get my mojo back and I'm getting it again. So here it goes!

Just Never Is

That's why I can't hold on to any positive feelings because it wouldn't last and something else would happen that would ruin everything. I always try to control not to feel upset anymore and just look on the bright side of things but how could I when there's always something that will trigger something chaotic that should not happen in the first place. So tired.  I don't want to be ungrateful but I just want to vent my never-ending frustrations in life 

On the way

 Inside a jeep right now and driving myself mad thinking of terrible scenarios. It is always like this whenever a day like this comes around. Help me be calm dear Heavens 

Level

 This is it again. I'm scared but also I feel defeated. I'm worried but I'm also tired of this feeling. But I don't want to feel this way because the other option is just scarier. Whatever happens again, I just have to be strong as much as I can.

Hybrid Cufflinks

 I was able to finish something on my goal list today and now focusing on doing something that will give me some breathing room because I still have like two major things left to do, But I like this, I hope more of this all througout the year!

Here we go!

 I'm swamped again with many things to do! I like it but I also blaming myself because the load could have been lighter if I wasn't so lazy last weekend! But well, time to focus again and do stuff as fast as possible without sacrificing quality!

Closed

I felt saw when I saw my favorite meat shop closed already. I had a feeling it was going under because nearly every time when I bought there for the past year or so, I was the only one. They are not that pricey compared to the ones sold in the wet market and they have quality stuff but oh well that is just how life is.

Thinking About It

 Despite some happy stuff the past few days,  I'm here again pondering on things that are making me so sad. I wish I could stop this feeling but I really can't. There are just so many things making me feel so sad. Worries and anxieties, if they would only go away

375

 Got new eyeglasses today after more than 5 years. The previous was still generally usable but had scratches already that had been bothersome lately and well I haven't bought myself anything last Christmas so why got gift myself something quite useful too!

Nice!

 I was not expecting it anymore but I just learned to have lower expectations so I won't get hurt that much but this time, I'm so happy to be wrong! It's the pick-me-up I much needed after everything really, It's really giving me a boost right now and more driven to do better!

Qiqi

    I'm so busy because I need to finish a lot of things, I accepted a lot of stuff thinking I could do some things in advance during the holiday break but nah I was lazy then. I was wrong that I could be in the mood to do work during those days but hey I'm playing catch up and it's all good. I feel driven because I always to start the year right work-wise!

Ch. 126

 So it finally happened today but still, I'm clinging on to hope that maybe they change their mind. There's some reaction when it's missing so it wasn't totally ignored. I know in the grand scheme it's still a small thing but I hope they listen. 

1095

 Three straight years of posting something daily on my 18-year-old blog! Well, it's mostly just random and vague angst-filled musings but it definitely helped me process emotions when I'm anxious. It's like screaming into the void these days since no one really blogs anymore but I like it that way. As long as Google keeps Blogspot around, I'll be posting.