73

 Looks like another hectic weekend ahead but you know a door was opened so why not? I need it really especially with some things lately reminding me how integral it is in my life now. It's stressing me out but I'm trying to shove it down because this isn't the time for me to dwell on it. I have bigger things to work on

Tri

I did a LOT today but at least I'm now down to one major thing I need to finish by Wednesday! My mind was so busy because I had to do some other things to but hey this is good and hopefully there's more to come. 

Ant

 Yes, I made it! I was able to finish what I needed to take care of. Why do I have to do this in such a buzzer-beater kind of way again? I was really focused though and didn't rush things even if I wanted to because I can't bear to give something substandard. Oh well still busy days ahead but I am ready to face it

Ambivalent

 Another struggle. I know what I should do but my mind is putting it off. There's just something in me that's not clicking I guess. Hopefully tomorrow I can do so much better. I HAVE to really.

Woohoo

 Another busy weekend but grateful really! It's a really good thing that I like this current project I'm doing so even if has a tight schedule and quite challenging too creatively speaking, it's so fun! I hope I will be able to pull this off and fight the allure of procastination! 

Molehills

I made the right to just let something that annoyed me deep inside. I was just being sensitive and good thing my rational side prevailed. You really have to understand where people are coming from sometimes. It will likely happen I guess but I will always do my best to handle things well and not make things blow up unnecessarily. 

Flicker

I am currently doing a project that I really love! I hope I can see it when it's out already. But I'm getting ahead of myself because we are just basically starting but with a very rapid turnaround! It's such an interesting concept and got me hooked so doing it doesn't feel much work. I enjoy it probably a little too much that I might forget to do some of the things I need to do in lieu of work! 

Bottle

 I'm not a person that chases drama. I don't need that kind of stress in my life. As long as I can, I stay away from it. But yesterday I had another trigger. My rational side understands everything hence I try to act normal and unbothered. But deep inside I'm so offended. I know nothing good will come out of it if I speak about it, so I'm just trying to let it slide. Controlling what I truly feel is hard and eating me inside. But I have no choice but march on regardless. 

Nah

 Oh here again, I'm the one who's going to adjust. It's as if I'm not actually doing a big help too. Oh well, what else can I do, right? It really annoys me but it is what it is. 

Nokia 106

 Bought tatay a new phone. Still the basic keypad phone. We tried to give him a smartphone 2 years ago but he didn't like it and reverted to using his old phone. That old phone's battery died so finally bought him a new one. Nokia brand still. He's a text and call guy anyway and wants long battery life. Nokia basic phones are still dependable on that regard, one full charge can last almost a week!

Read

 I went off work early yesterday fearing heavy rains but when I was at the One Ayala bus station, I decided to look around what shops are now open and saw Fully Booked and randomly bought a book! 56 by Bob Ong! Prior to this, the last Bob Ong book I bought was Kapitan Sino. I used to collect Bob Ong books along with Pugad Baboy, Kiko Machine, Beerkada Young Blood, and Jessica Zafra. A collection started in High School until the early years of working. I stopped when life got in the way. I was reading 56 inside the bus while stuck in traffic and this is the kind of collection of personal essays that I really love reading. I really need to go back to reading again and not just scrolling aimlessly on my phone during idle times. 

Stare

 Recurring worries are bogging my mind right now. I feel so exhausted to be honest. I don't know what to do anymore. But I always need to carry on and fight every struggle. I guess this is what being an adult really is. I'm so down again. But hopefully, it's just a momentarily feeling. The last time I let this feeling, I went on to do things that I thought would make me happy but did nothing but give me more regrets. Oh  dear heavens help me please

Hey

Another week where there's no progress on some things. It is so sad but you need to hold on to that hope that things you wish for will finally come true. I hope it's pretty soon. I've been panicking already but I really need to chill. So good thing I made myself sure I will be occupied so I won't constantly think about it

Dice

Rolled the dice and pulled in some wins. While there are still things I really wish for longterm security taking things one day at a time is also good for my well-being. Finding things to enjoy lessens up the anxiety that could eat you alive.  I'm still scared of many things but I need to be stronger and to do so is to compartamentalize and it's working at times like today. Hoping for good days ahead

Blowing Air

 Anxiety through the roof yet again. Worrying about multiple things at once. Scared of possible scenarios. Getting sad about the lack of progress. Fearing the worst. Letting those thoughts flow in here is how I cope with it. It's how I process what I feel

Lion

 I have so many rejection stories that I thought I was numb about this stuff already but as it turns out I'm not! Although this rejection is not directly for me still, as part of the group, it hurts me as well! I kinda of wish those days, I didn't know about the process because now that I know too much, I always hold my breath whenever opportunities knock in so now seen many closed doors the past few months. I've been feeling so much disappointment and yeah hurt as well. And the never-ending anxiety as well now fortified with this added stress which I really shouldn't have resorted myself in the first in the first place but what can I do, I care too much

Nano

 Worked on something very hard and complicated and very glad I was able to finish it. But I think I will check it again tomorrow just to make sure I didn't mess up! I don't want to mess up this one in particular! Anyway, hopefully good news ahead! Like I always hope with each start of the week

Forward

 Lying to oneself is something I guess a lot of us do. We know we it is a lie but we try to convince ourselves otherwise. But I guess it's trying to make sense of everything we have or the struggle we are facing. The hope is always to get to a place where you don't to yourself or notice at all

To Come

 I was very busy the past two days and another busy weekend ahead too. But this is kind of busy that I love so much. Hope to be as booked as busy for the last 3 months of 2023! I'm really hoping more things to come really, we need it! But I am patient but also anxious but so far we are always kept afloat, so that's good! 

Exist

Oh yeah, a tight schedule ahead but not gonna lie I'm living for the moment! It helps that I have a genuine interest over this matter so it shouldn't be such a pain to do it. Hopefully, everything will be smooth sailing but I do need to finish something firts before I fully dive in there