Body

 Some good news although it's gonna be a challenging one to pull off but still than just waiting and waiting. This is a door that opened that hopefully will lead to more. So tomorrow I'll focus on finishing some stuff so I can free my mind to make this one really pop.

137

Fear came knocking again. At least I handled things better now. It was a reminder that it will never go away so I just have to do my best to handle it and lessen the fear they feel and contain the fea I have as well. Lord, please always guide me and them. Help me not break apart. 

900

I wish I didn't know too much. Now I'm worried sick of things not working out. But I need to know because a lot things are on the line. Too much pressure I guess. But I can't imagine the pressure they are receiving too. One of those days where I feel so down. 

Don't Jinx It

A new week is upon us and really hoping for good news to come like I've been the past few weeks or so. Maybe this is the week where the things I'm hoping will finally come true

Chill

 Good thing I don't have anything urgent so I just did nothing outside some few household chores. It's a good time to defreeze as well. But hopefully, it won't be for long and my weekends will be busy for productivity purposes again!

Flow

Reaping what I sow, especially something I worked very hard on is a nice feeling but after my worries are back again that it could end pretty soon. There are leads this week but I hope they will materialize, all of it, because I just want to feel more secure. I kinda miss the time I wasn't too involved with this but then again that was a mediocre time unlike this time where it is more fruitful but nerve-wracking!

Fingers Crossed

 I'm really hoping for best results and more to come as well! Badly need it! But also it's an interesting subject that I want to know more about! Oh dear heavens please give it to us!

Quick

 Things are getting released quite fast and I'm a bit overwhelmed and also a little paranoid that it will run out quick! But I do still have things at hand so all good. I hope more good news will arrive as soon as possible!

Physics

 Worked on something that could to lead to a door that I really want to open for us. I needed to be extra resourceful so I hope it works out! It is badly needed because it's getting worrisome already

Breathe In

 So happy I was able to accomplish two things I needed to do in a short time which admittedly was my own doing due to procrastination! I normally was able to estimate things better but I got complacent this time. Hopefully, nothing negative ensues as while I was cramped with time, I still made sure it won't be a crap job!

Few more

 Now paying for my procrastination! But still doing my best and not slacking off! I won't give a messy one and still deliver a quality output! I hope I can battle my procrastination next time! I've been too complacent lately 

Back

 I've been watching G-Mik on YouTube now.  It's a time capsule that takes me back to a simpler time. I hate falling into that nostalgia trip yet again, but I can't help it! As I grow older, I just feel more sentimental! 

Potential

 So some good lead hopefully to a new opportunity. But I've seen quite a number lately that don't go anywhere which really bums me. Hopefully, this one will really open the door. I really hope so because it is quite needed already. Crossing my fingers it works out. Please Lord!

Fired Up

 Finished two important things today and I have two that I need to get done in 3 days! I can do this. I'm glad this is what my mind is busy with and not resentment and frustrations. I also really some good news I've been hoping, waiting for will finally arrive in the coming days if not tomorrow because I've been anxiously waiting each day but for now I deal with the immediate matters on hand

Packed

 Did a lot of things today and hopefully tomorrow I can my goal. Wasting my weekend away doing nothing is kinda costing me now but well I did need a break as well, right? Hopefully, all the things I need to finish will be done and over with. I always like being this busy though. It helps me focus my mind on worthwhile rather than drowning in anxiety!

36

 I turn 36 today and I'm truly grateful for all the blessings I received and surviving the many challenges in life as I grow older. Thank you Lord for keeping my family safe. My birthday is for my family to stay healthy and safe and for the company I work to have consistent and more projects!

Cake

 It's not a good day. It was a waste. Now hopefully tomorrow will be better. It should be. I hope I won't get distracted with nonsense anymore.  Today was a mixed bag of annoyance from other sources and my own chaotic mind. 

Nothing

I have a stack week ahead. I could have had a headstart today but I chose not to because there's still enough time. I slacked off a little I guess but I do think I need a break so I can be fully charged to do things for the week ahead. Hopefully it all goes all well.

Ref

Another realization because of that fatal mistake I made is how I could have gotten something else if all the resources I used for that mistake were given to that other thing instead. The thing is when I was in those moments, all I wanted was to be selfish because I thought it would give me happiness after all the stressful things I've been dealing with. What's worst is I kept repeating those mistakes in quest to get the goal I wanted and in the end it took a big blow for me to finally realize the mistake I've done. Somehow, I'm still grateful I wasn't at the deepest end yet before I came to my senses. The past few weeks, I was testing myself if I would give in to it again and thankfully there were no close calls despite some floating thoughts about it once in a while but the feeling of regret overpowered me.  I truly hope I can be free of this feeling again but I know I need to learn the hard way. 

Course Correct

 So I made a call today that is disadvantageous to me but I need to do it so I will be out of the limelight. And also help people out. I have to admit I've been somewhat selfish in protecting my interests. But after the big mistake I committed a few weeks ago, I felt like it was a result of me rationalizing how I was selfless so I needed to indulge myself. But I made the wrong choice. So here I am, doing things not just to help myself but others as well. The big picture so to speak. It's quite a task given the fragility of it all but I do really think this is for the best.