Believe

 So a new exciting thing came along and I grabbed the opportunity at once. I really need to make up for everything I've lost so I will do my best to accomplish my goal this time. It will be quite challenging because of a limited time set but I'm so ready. And I actually want more too to come soon. And can it come fast?

Let it Rip

 So now I just confronted the consequence of my recklessness and it is freeing. Yes, I'm facing quite a big challenge but at least I no longer delaying the inevitable. No longer in denial of my mistake. I swear to bounce back from this setback. In the grand scheme of things, it is just a minor hiccup but the way I am, I'm just too hard on myself. But it's all for the better so I won't do this recklessness again. 

Oh Dear Lord please guide me as I pick myself up from this self-induced setback. 

4x

 So yeah I now regret I did that thing four times so I'm now in this tricky situation. Well, it's actually workable and all but I wish had the buffer which I wasted because of that risk I made. Yeah, I learned some things in the end but ultimately I am suffering from the consequences. I need to do my very best and get back what I've wasted. I can do it

Noise

 Another day, another chaotic moment for no good reason. Because people can't control what they think, what they feel. I've had those moments of puro annoyance too but I don't stir drama and just keep it to myself because what good does it that than add unnecessary stress. Tired over and over and over again.

Course

The last batch of my course Broadcast Journalism will graduate this month. The program has now been redeveloped into Digital and Multimedia Journalism next school year. I feel a little sad about it but times have changed and I applaud DLSU-D's foresight and willingness to adapt. 

There are some choices in life that I have regrets but not the course I chose! Broadcast Journalism was actually my second choice with Accounting as my first choice because I was kinda good in high school accounting but during the enrollment when I was asked which course I will take, the heart spoke 💕 

Being a grade-conscious studious student from elementary to high school, college was so refreshing and the highlight of my school life. I still cared about grades but my life didn't revolve around it anymore because being a BroadJourn student expanded the way I view life and learning. 

Bravo Broad Journ! We had a great run, thanks a lot to sir Artin Umali the heart and soul of the program. 

All the best to AB Digital and Multimedia Journalism, I'm sure it will be as great as BroadJourn and I'm excited for the upcoming pioneer batch.

More waiting

 Still nothing and I'm getting alarmed. I'm just anxious as always but hopefully next week there will be news I am waiting for. Also this month there is something I'm trying not to think because it scares me yet again. It's been a routine for the past few years but I'm always scared about it. It's part of the fiber of my being now. That's why I need to have things to distract me, good distraction not the other distraction that made me lose my mind which I somehow regret although it is something I needed to experience - losses and all. Yeah, another messy rambling but this is how my mind has been lately

Still Waiting

 As I wrapped another today, I have another on deck but after that nothing yet. It is really worrying me that this dry spell continues. I really hope we get some good news soon because this is really making me anxious!

Cool

 There's a very cool thing that I need to confirm before bragging about it. I need confirmation so I'll have permission to be proud of it. I do hope credit is given so it could be a good booster for us hopefully. I'm still worried that there are not enough follow-ups to fill in the spaces and I really hope they will arrive soon enough

Circling Back

I am scared of a lot of things right now. I try not to think about it so it won't manifest but my mind just keeps thinking about worse-case scenarios for these two things on my mind always. Now, I'm trying to distract myself again about a thing I'm trying to avoid but it's proven to be a struggle

Dry

 And it continues and it is getting me worried. Hopefully, something, anything, happens this week. There must be something coming that will feed this tank that is approaching an alarming scenario. 

Burst

 I'm exhausted from dealing with mood swings. I have to set aside my OWN mood swings because who would if everyone else is having a moment? We can't all survive if everybody is in a foul mood. So as always, I set aside everything to make them at ease.  I do it for my own good too. I'm too exhausted with everything that I don't really go out and explore the world outside my own bubble. It is better for me this way, I never to get enjoy being outside anyway because there's always something to worry about inside. I just place myself in my own bubble within this bubble to carry on. This is a part of my bubble too. It is technically outside but I doubt anyone sees this anyway. Sometimes I wonder if one day google gives on blogger and everything I had here will be erased. Like in Friendster. Like in Multiply. Like in PEx. Will I bother saving everything I had here or like those other sites, I just let it fade away. I just do a post here because it is talking to myself where I can visibly see my thoughts. I ramble and it's fine because it lifts a side of all the burdens I carry before it gets filled again. 

AI

 The rise of Artificial Intelligence really worries me. It's likey gonna wipe out a lot of jobs in the future. Some say you can't stop the future and just embrace it. Easy to say for people with nothing really on the line. Just read this article that YouTube is launching their AI-powered automatic dubbing for content creators. While we never had a client for dubbing under social media, still I'm afraid AI-powered localization will hurt our company eventually. Hopefully not and that the value of having actual humans doing translations and adaptation will still have edge. 

Quotes

Glad to met my goal today and also received another thing to do. But I want more really. I've been really anxious with the near-dry spell. There are leads but nothing confirmed yet. I hope things will pour in soon!

(grunts)

 So close yet so far. I wanted to push myself more but I'm so exhausted already. I don't want to abuse myself or else there could be serious consequences which I definitely don't want to deal with right now. I'll finish this tomoorrow with a refreshed mind. 

Intricate

 So good progress for today but I could do so much more, hopefully, tomorrow I'll maximize what I can do. I used to do this faster but I'm slower now because I don't want to mess it up so the quality won't suffer. After this, I still have two in queue but I'm getting worried already with no new stuff coming in lately. Hopefully, good news will come in soon. 

Wanted

 So some challenging few days ahead as I need to beat two important deadlines but this is the kind of rush I really want though. It keeps my mind so busy not to think about fears, anxieties, and other recent stuff that I was starting to get addicted to despite my brain telling me it was not a good thing. Hopefully, more things to come to be productive continuously and not get worked up on things dragging my spirit down. 

Beat

 I got irritated today because I felt like I'm on a losing end when I just want to help. It's hard to be honest about it as well so I just tried to be as polite as possible in expressing my concern about something. Oh, well. I really need to assess this situation, afraid of offending people but also tired of being in the middle of this again.

25 Minutes

So near yet so far. I could have touched the finish line earlier but I don't know why I made my own obstacles! I really need more push to get this to the finish line! Let's get to it!

Barbenheimer

 I definitely want to see both Barbie and Oppenheimer but I just need to find the time to do it! Pre-Covid days, I would dedicate one Saturday watching movies but it's not something I could do anymore. I have family errands on weekend mornings, afternoon naps, and dubbing scripts at night. Plus weekend traffic is not something I like to deal with anymore. I do miss those carefree days but it's not just the same anymore. I do hope to find the time sometime next week

Grapes

I had a bit of a struggle finishing this task. I haven't made much progress but hopefully this weekend I can finally finish it. I really need to do my best here because I always aim to do my best and not get complaints from poor work.