Product of Its Time

 

So yeah I watched another Digital Premiere of a Restored Filipino film earlier tonight! And just like time, it's a movie before I was born Tinimbang Ang Langit in 1982. This is a more commercial movie, so think of Viva/Regal movies of this era. It's light drama about romance and music. To be honest, I wasn't really captivated  by the story but I enjoyed it because I love seeing how contemporary 1982 looked like in clear resolution! The use of phones, the dialogue and I was also fascinated by how some aspects felt like it hasn't changed today. There was one though that clearly wouldn't fly today! There was a song featured here with a title "Try a Little Suicide" and to be fair the song is not really advocating suicide but it's a metaphor about taking a risk. The song is actually good but with that title, nope! It's not just about being politically correct but also sensitivity. But can't blame the songwriter and the movie though because back then it was just different context. That's what I love about seeing movies likes this set in the past, you'll have learnings along the way. 

Peaceful Trip

 Today I found out my original shuttle ride driver Kuya Rems passed away. I knew he was sick that's why he stopped his shuttle services but I didn't expect he will leave us soon. Life is so fragile. Rest in Peace Kuya Rems, thank you for safely driving us your passengers for all these years. I will never forget you.

LDR

 My brother went to our province Bohol today to be with his wife as they haven't seen in each other in over a year due to the pandemic. Currently, he is in quarantine in the LGU where they live in Bohol. After that he will stay there for a few more weeks before going back here because of his work. But I do think eventually my brother will reside in Bohol for good to be with his wife because I don't think my sister in law will leave there as honestly she has the more stable job right now while my brother's company is not in good shape. Plus they should be together raising their own family together. I really hope they'll have their own kid soon because my brother will definitely be a good father as he is a caring brother, son , husband and friend. I want to have another nephew or niece too! I'm glad though their year apart together is over now because love is hard to maintain when you are not together physically. 

Mercedes!

 Our company did the dubbing for this and I'm part of the team working on this as the Quality Checker. One thing I can say for sure is that iba talaga charisma ni Thalia. Whille previewing the episodes, I can't but for her charms here. Anyway, this is a good project for the company and glad to be part of it!

Red Lights, Stop Signs

 The current #1 on various international charts and I'm loving this song. The bridge is my favorite, there's just something that's captivating from it. I know there's Gen Z love triangle behind this song which probably helped this song gain buzz but the song is simply good that it wasn't just a one week wonder. It shows how music can be an effective storyteller.  I heard this song on the radio for the first time this week and it's sound so good there. Anyway, here's Olivia Rodrigo's first live TV performance of this song and she did really great, amazing vocals. She has so much potential at 17.

Unfulfilled

. Am I just tired? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally? I don't for know sure what the answer is. I just feel... empty. I wish I could achieve some I can be so proud of anytime soon. I'm probably in one of the lowest points of my life. Work keeps my mind busy where I do a lot of things right now. But the problem is the time I spent commuting because there's a lull and listening to music or podcast does not do the trick anymore. In that amount of time, I ponder on a lot of things and go to unpleasant phases. It's a recurring feeling I've pre-pandemic and now it's even harder because the pandemic just things so much complicated. I worry about the future. I feel so tense about the present. I feel so much regrets about the past. Horrible. Just plain horrible.

Microcosm

 So on tonight's PBB episode, this guy housemate started to act coldly to a girl housemate because he does not feel comfortable with the housemates teasing them. That I could understand but he went on and said a very problematic statement where he dissed the girl's looks. Later on the two had the chance to talk but I honestly didn't feel that he truly understood what's problematic with his behavior and instead made it about himself in the end. What I saw triggered me because I felt like there are lot of people like him out there who don't have awareness on what's wrong with their behavior and mindset. And that's dangerous. On a grander level, we are in this quite messy situation because many people behave like that.  PBB in general is a fluffy reality show but a moment like that is what draws me into the show 15 years in. Once in awhile, there's an incident that would really make me things on a deeper level. 

Familiar

 One of my longtime and closest co-worker went back to the office today after working from home for half a year. She's back working at the office fulltime now because thankfully we have a lot of projects now and she's needed to be in the office due to logistics of the project. We had a good catching up earlier too because we haven't seen each other in months! My video editor also dropped by today. He also works remotely because he went back home in Tarlac when the lockdown began . He is in NCR this week due to processing of her documents abroad (where his mother petitioned him) and decided to go to the office today to work. It's good to see him again and be able to instruct him in person in some of the tasks that was honestly hard to work out online. It's still different when you get to see the people you work with in person. Today is still far from normal but familiar, I'll take it. 

Lousy

 I feel off again today. It's a combination of frustrations on so many things in my life right now. Plus, the never ending despair I feel for the country. Earlier, I saw this news feature of struggling small time businesses in Cebu and one vendor said that she cries everyday with the low sales and my heart broke.  And then another news feature mentioned a statement from a WHO official saying that life won't truly return to normal until after 2 years. Oh my God. 

Cool

 I love the weather today! The perfect weather to slack off but I didn't because I did some work from home stuff where one stressed me a little because I got frustrated over something that's so preventable but keeps on happening despite many attempts to correct it. It's not exactly my fault but I feel it is because of my  attitude of being too nice where stricter discipline was needed. But the thing is if I can avoid stressful stuff, I would take that road first but clearly it's not the best option for this situation. Good thing that the other work task I had was more relaxing because I did a preview and quality check of a dubbing project. Anyway, back to the weather, I hope it stays for a few more days or weeks! Living in this constantly stressful world of health hazards and political insanity, a cool weather gives a temporary retrieve from all the anxiety!

Pancit and a Bucket of Joy

 Yesterday was stressful. I had multiple things to accomplish at work that had complications because my video editor is work from home and it's extra hard to manage that particular task remotely! Then of course I learned about my sibling's not so good medical test results that really made me worry although admittedly I went a little overboard with it and immediately thought of the worst case scenario. It was really more a reminder to take care of one's health and precautions. In hindsight, it's good that particular finding was detected earlier on to prevent a bigger issue. Anyway, we were more relax today because stressing out is also hazardous so one needs to be calm and to stay relaxed. It's more harmful to think of negative things immediately. The medical concern is something we can all survive like we did in the past. 

I treated my family after receiving my 13th month this week but it was just a simple pancit bihon and Chicken Joy bucket but everybody appreciated it. Thank you Lord that despite these hard times, I still to get to receive a blessing. Please continue to guide my famly and keep us away from any form of harm.

Worry

  So found out a sibling has a medical concern right now. She needs more tests and check-up with a specialist but still, it's worrying me a lot right but as I was talking to her earlier, I was trying to boost her morale that it won't be that alarming in the end but deep inside I'm very worried but the last thing she needs is another worrywart too so I need to hide that one. Oh dear Lord please protect my sister from any alarming illness, please let it be a minor thing that can be resolved through medicine and proper diet. I'm so scared but I need to be tougher. 

Soltero

 So I watched another  virtual premiere of a digitally restored Filipino film via KTX again today! This time it's a 1984 film called SOLTERO (bachelor). Admittedly, I've never heard of this film until it was announced that it will have a screening this week but the premise piqued my interest because it's about the life of a single Filipino man. It's sad that the director, screenwriter and lead actor (Jay Ilagan) are no longer with us. I would have wanted to hear their thoughts in hindsight. We did get to hear two actresses from the film - Rio Locsin and Chanda Romero as they talk about what if was ike when they shot this film and you could clearly feel this was a special one as they tell their stories and insights with so much gusto.

Since I knew nothing about this film I didn't know what to expect but you know that's sometimes the thrill of the cinema, it takes you to places unfamiliar and experience a different kind of life. And this film is also such a time capsule of the mid 80s and glad to see a film capture an ordinary kind of life during that time before I was born with clear video! Anyway, this film is more of a character study with slice of life attack but it's never really boring. The bits and pieces that we knew about the life of Crispin (the lead) are full of subtle details that resonates. This film ultimately explores the loneliness one could feel where you are not that young anymore but not too old either. It perfectly encapsulates the emptiness one could feel. But what I like about is that in the end, there's hope that being a decent and loving person will still lead you a life worth living. 

You could stream SOLTERO and other digitally restored Pinoy classics over at KTX

Finally!

 So yeah today we finally received our 13th month pay, yes a month delayed but it doesn't matter, I'm grateful. Not gonna lie I was losing hope but I reminded myself that our boss didn't give his word for nothing. It took awhile but hey it's finally here. I already gave some of it to my parents because they deserve. My bonus this month is not that big compared to previous years for obvious reasons so I'm cautious with this and I'm not planning to spend that much. I am just thinking of getting my laptop monitor finally fixed though but we'll see I hope I could find a good deal for this, Thank you Lord for this blessing, it was worth the wait.

Cautiously Happy

 Looks like I received some good news today. "Looks like" because I'm a paranoid person and I'm trying to manage my expectations because what if it won't push through again and I get heartbroken again. I need to see it fully realized first! So I'm holding off any plans for now but can't deny I'm getting a little giddy too because I've been waiting for it. Hopefully, nothing will stop this now from happening. 

Shift

 I watched Ang Probinsyano earlier tonight on YouTube and the episode reached 102K live viewers. That's a major milestone for local TV livestreaming on YouTube. When ABS CBN started livestreaming their shows on YouTube, Probinsyano started above 20K live viewers and eventually to regular 50K viewers. It was a big episode with a death of major character so no wonder viewers sought it out but it made me wonder if there's a good chunk of viewers that are comfortable watching TV shows online now especially with the rise of Smart TV usage among the middle class. It's an interesting shift to witness. 

Endless

The last week of January is upon us and time flies and yet everything feels so long. Everything is just so up in the air. This pandemic. This political atmosphere. I can't feel an end soon. It's a long tunnel of frustration. Endure and survive each day the best way we can. Each day poses a new challenge. I wanna treasure each moment but can't help but feel so much time has been wasted. How can we reclaim the lost years of our lives? 

Sting

 More than ever I'm feeling the economic aftermath of this pandemic. While there were still some financial disappointments but I'm so happy to still have a job and the company is still afloat. A big hotel in Makati will close down next week. A car manufacturing factory located in Laguna will close too. The prices of basic goods are skyrocketing. One sibling got laid off and my two other siblings while still employed, their companies are struggling too and there's so much uncertainty. I have a lot of fear and whenever I see so much arrogance from public officials I just feel so hopeless. 

Overcome

 I'm thinking of making a move that could help alleviate one of my problems right now. The thing is I'm afraid to do so out of fear of rejection. But I really need to something, to step it up. Diskarte. I lack that but it should change if I ever want to have a shot to improve my current status. Terribly afraid of failure. I need to overcome that

Climb

Today was US President Joe Biden's and VP Kamala Harris' inauguration and it was a pleasant event. Such a relief to have someone in a powerful position to be an agent of common decency. No arrogance. No antagonistic tone. The scene stealer though is this young poet's recitation or her piece "The Hill We Climb". Her name is Amanda Gorman and she blew me away! Powerful words and the rights one we need to hear in these trying times. Here's the clip and transcript

Mr. President, Dr. Biden, Madam Vice President, Mr. Emhoff, Americans and the world:

When day comes we ask ourselves, where can we find light in this never-ending shade? The loss we carry, a sea we must wade. We’ve braved the belly of the beast. We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace. In the norms and notions of what just is isn’t always justice.

And yet, the dawn is ours before we knew it. Somehow, we do it. Somehow, we’ve weathered and witnessed a nation that isn’t broken, but simply unfinished. We, the successors of a country and a time where a skinny Black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president, only to find herself reciting for one.

And yes, we are far from polished, far from pristine, but that doesn’t mean we are striving to form a union that is perfect. We are striving to forge our union with purpose, to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and conditions of man.

And so, we lift our gazes not to what stands between us, but what stands before us. We close the divide because we know, to put our future first, we must first put our differences aside. We lay down our arms so we can reach out our arms to one another. We seek harm to none and harmony for all. Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true. That even as we grieved, we grew. That even as we hurt, we hoped; that even as we tired, we tried; that we’ll forever be tied together, victorious. Not because we will never again know defeat, but because we will never again sow division.

Scripture tells us to envision that everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree, and no one shall make them afraid. If we’re to live up to our own time, then victory won’t lie in the blade, but in all the bridges we’ve made. That is the promise to glade, the hill we climb if only we dare it. Because being American is more than a pride we inherit; it’s the past we step into and how we repair it. We’ve seen a forest that would shatter our nation rather than share it, would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy. And this effort very nearly succeeded.

But while democracy can be periodically delayed, it can never be permanently defeated. In this truth, in this faith we trust, for while we have our eyes on the future, history has its eyes on us. This is the era of just redemption. We feared it at its inception. We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour, but within it, we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves.

So, while once we asked: “How could we possibly prevail over catastrophe?” Now we assert, “How could catastrophe possibly prevail over us?”

We will not march back to what was, but move to what shall be: a country that is bruised, but whole; benevolent, but bold; fierce and free. We will not be turned around or interrupted by intimidation, because we know our inaction and inertia will be the inheritance of the next generation. Our blunders become their burdens. But one thing is certain, if we merge mercy with might, and might with right, then love becomes our legacy, and change our children’s birthright.

So, let us leave behind a country better than one we were left. With every breath from my bronze-pounded chest, we will raise this wounded world into a wondrous one. We will rise from the gold-limned hills of the West. We will rise from the wind-swept Northeast where our forefathers first realized revolution. We will rise from the lake-rimmed cities of the Midwestern states. We will rise from the sun-baked South. We will rebuild, reconcile and recover in every known nook of our nation, in every corner called our country our people diverse and beautiful will emerge battered and beautiful.

When day comes, we step out of the shade aflame and unafraid. The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.

— Amanda Gorman’s “The Hill We Climb,” as recited at the inauguration of President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris